


Shenanigan Ferris Ride

by Zade_Kassel



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/F, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-12
Updated: 2014-03-25
Packaged: 2017-10-31 00:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 79,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/337834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zade_Kassel/pseuds/Zade_Kassel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Directly after takeoff to the new session, Dave tries to adjust to the strange customs of the trolls, the havoc of romantic miscommunications, and recent past events, which continue to linger with all of them. It's hard to begin an entirely new life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

**_Chapter 1_ **

When they arrived, things were hectic. Hurried first time greetings, bodies that were lying in place seconds ago suddenly disappearing, a brief adjustment to being god-level tiers for both Dave and Rose, one troll gone vampire, another gone psycho-killer, a body dropped on them from the middle of nowhere, and then the unfortunate mishap with a bucket, caused by the wonderful Egbert himself. Dave was really proud of John for that. Ultimate shenanigans. A true prankster, even to the end of things.

And it made Karkat go over edge, which was hilarious. God, that guy was even more annoying than he thought, though admittedly they’d only had brief online interactions. His raspy voice constantly blurting out expletives and insults, the slight hunch he had when he stood, his massive leadership complex, his yellow-grey eyes glaring at everything around him, which currently focused on Dave himself. Dave returned his most unfazed stare back. If he was the master of cool, Karkat was definitely the master of the exact opposite, all rage and no chill.

Terezi caught his eye (or maybe it was more apt to say the glint of her glasses caught his own). She seemed embarrassed for all of them. He gave her a brief sympathetic nod, trusting she could smell it. Then, Karkat was striding out past them, disappearing into the depths of the meteor itself. He looked more-than-slightly unwound. Dave had a suspicion they wouldn’t be seeing him for a while.

“W4NT TO T4K3 4 TOUR OF 1NTR1GU3 4ND MYST3RY COOLK1D?”

The carapace’s apparently-not-dead body was carted away by Kanaya and Rose. He briefly wondered who would clean up the rainbow of blood stains, before turning to Terezi.

“Intrigue and mystery is my middle name.”

“4 M1DDL3 N4M3?”

 “It’s another name parents give their kids in case they lose them, so they can have two chances at locating the right kid instead of just one, and also two names to yell at them when they fuck up so the kid knows, _Oh shit, I’m in big trouble now. I just got my entire full fucking name yelled at me for doing some of the worst shit in my life._ And then the parent proceeds to exact insane punishments on their ass.”

“DO YOU H4V3 4 M1DDL3 N4M3?”

“No way. Bro was too cool for that. He knew he could find me in a crowd full of identical blond, sunglasses-wearing, smooth-rap-killing coolkids any day.”

“YOU 4R3 PR3TTY ON3 OF 4 K1ND.”

“Def. Looks like we’ll have a bunch of these cross-cultural troll-human exchange battles during the time we’re here, huh?”

Terezi grinned at that, sharper teeth than any human could ever hope to have. “1 C4N ONLY HOP3. TH1S W4Y.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

He hadn’t expected things to be so… alien. In hindsight he probably should have. From the moment he entered the game everything was suddenly strange and foreign, his own planet of LOHAC, the salamanders and carapaces, his manipulations of time, interacting with a bunch of grey-skinned murderous aliens who could see his entire timeline, and all the trouble caused by Jack Noir. But upon arriving on the meteor he’d been hoping that something even remotely resembling the last 13 years of his human experience would pop up. Apparently not. Everything was Trollian, at best. Fuck, he’d really have to live here for 3 years? It was already making his head pound, and not in a good way like with mad volcanic beats, just in the way that made him want to put a sword through something. As the only things around were Terezi and a shit-ton of rock, he didn’t think that’d be a good idea.

“So what do you guys _do_ in this place?”

“W3 MOSTLY W4TCH3D YOU.”

“Well now that we’re here. And John and Jade are off on some other unforeseen ship in the middle of who-knows-the-hell-where.”

“…1 DUNNO. 1 GU3SS W3 W1LL H4V3 TO F1GUR3 SOM3TH1NG N3W OUT!”

“Great.”

“NOW H3R3S TH3 NUTR1T1ON4L BLOCK, WH3R3 W3 CONSUM3 OUR M34LS, OR JUST 4RGU3 4BOUT 3V3RYTH1NG 4ND US3 TH1S PL4C3 4S 4 B4CKDROP.”

“You mean a kitchen?”

Terezi frowned. “1 GU3SS YOU COULD C4LL 1T TH4T.”

It was teeny, almost as tiny as Bro and his kitchen back home, where they had a truckload of sudden strife sessions complete with a rain of puppet ass flying everywhere it happened to get caught up in the mess. Remembering that shot a pang through his chest. He adjusted his shades.

“Next?”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Terezi showed him through a number of rooms, most of which he barely remembered in the whirlwind of everything. One that did stand out was the main computer room, where a number of terminals sat around, along with a few explosion spots. Dave wondered what those were about. And then she whisked him up and down a number of stairs, hallways, hidden crannies and nooks only opened by moving statues and books and stuff, glass containers where huge beasts lived—holy shit, musclebeasts were actually a real thing?—and her own hidden lair. She pointed out a brown spot on the floor where she’d found the body of Tavros, a wheelchaired troll he somewhat remembered a while ago, spitting out rhymes at him. Too bad. He was a cool dude. Then she showed him inside her back rooms, the chalk drawings and smell-o-scope and the chest she uncovered her Dragonsuit cosplay outfit in.

“YOULL PROB4BLY F1ND ROOMS OF YOUR OWN TO R3TR34T 1N TOO.”

And then she whisked him back out, to the area where the respite blocks were. Or bedrooms. They were gonna have him talking in troll slang soon. First thing he noticed was—

“Where’s the bed?”

“YOU M34N THOS3 FL4T M3T4L TH1NGS HUM4NS R3CL1N3 ON DUR1NG TH31R R3ST1NG P3R1ODS?”

“Yeah.”

“H4V3NT S33N ON3.”

“Really? Then where the hell do you guys sleep?”

“W3 DONT SL33P 1N B3DS D4V3.”

“Oh right, your slime things-“

“SOPOR PODS.”

“Yeah those.”

“1 H4V3NT S33N ON3 OF THOS3 31TH3R, S1NC3 COM1NG H3R3.”

“Then how do you sleep? On the floor?”

“NO S1LLY! W3 H4V3 P1L3S!”

“Piles of what.”

“4NYTH1NG! 1 L1K3 MY PYR4LSPR1T3 P1L3S 4ND G4MZ33 US3D TO H4V3 4 BUNCH OF HORNS L41D OUT FOR R3CL1N1NG 1N TH3 COMPUT3R ROOM.”

“Like troll horns?” Dave gestured to his head.

“NO! DONT B3 B4RB4R1C. CLOWN HORNS S1LLY!”

“Oh… Guess that makes sense for him.” Dave let this sink in. “What does Karkat sleep on?” Dave couldn’t imagine what the troll leader would sleep on. Probably something stupid or embarrassing, like a bunch of sickles just to prove how much badass he could take, even in his sleep. Or imagine, a shit ton of stuffed bunnies or something. That’d suit his angry exterior, to just have a bunch of soft things cuddled around him every time he slept. The image made Dave inwardly smirk.

“K4RK4T DO3SNT SL33P.”

“What?”

“1V3 ONLY S33N H1M SL33P ONC3 S1NC3 W3V3 B33N H3R3 4ND H3 N3V3R W3NT B4CK S1NC3.”

“No sleep? How the hell does he survive? No wonder he’s so cranky.”

Terezi shrugged.

“Is the tour over?”

“TH1S 1S TH3 3ND.”

“Alright, let’s go meet up with the others. See what they’ve gotten themselves into.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

When they made their way back, Kanaya and Rose were sitting in a common room around a fire, making s’mores.

Dave stopped. He didn’t even have to voice the question.

Rose looked up. “I thought it was the perfect setting to engage in some traditional means for bonding and conversation among our new companions.”

Kanaya added, “Rose Was Explaining To Me Several Of Your Customs For Relationship Building. I Agreed It Would Be Intriguing To Try Something Like That Here.”

“1T SM3LLS L1K3 4 GOOD 1D34 TO M3. L3TS 1NDULG3.”

Terezi took a seat beside the fire and grabbed a stick. Dave looked around. “Where’s Karkat and Gamzee?”

“I haven’t seen them since they disappeared much earlier. I would presume that Gamzee found Karkat by now. They are moirails after all.”

Kanaya nodded.

Dave frowned. “Moirails?”

“1T 1S WH3N TWO P3OPL3 COM3 TO C4R3 FOR 34CH OTH3R 1N 4 W4Y TH4T M4K3S TH3M W4NT TO PROT3CT 4ND COMFORT TH3 OTH3R.”

“Oh that one. Wait, since when?”

“Since A Few Hours Ago, Right Before You and Rose Appeared.”

“I don’t know whether I should congratulate them for finding someone who can put up with their shit or feel sorry as fuck that they have to deal with each other.”

The three girls failed at trying to not look amused. Rose held out a marshmallow to him. “Want to roast?”

Dave finally sat down, taking the marshmallow in hand and lowering it to the flame. To his side, Terezi suddenly made “ooh ooh ooh ooh” noises as she burnt her tongue. Dave snickered. “You should wait for it to cool off first, smart kid.”

“NOT 3V3RYON3 C4N B3 4S 3XP3R13NC3D 4S YOU.”

“But some of us could try not to showcase it.”

“HMPF. WH4T 1F 1 WONT B3 4BL3 TO T4ST3 4NYMOR3? 1 WONT B3 4BL3 TO T4ST3 TH3 COLOR R3D, STR1D3R. TH1S 1S UN4CC3PT4BL3.”

“You should’ve thought of that before you danced a sticky hot poker over the insides of your mouth like you were competing for the fire-stoker clogging Olympics. Here.”

Dave gave her his roasted marshmallow, blowing it to cool, before holding it up to her mouth. A strange expression crossed her face for a second, then it disappeared as she wrapped her tongue around his fingers and pulled the marshmallow into her mouth. She sucked.

“TH1S 1S B3TT3R.”

“Told you. Next time you don’t have to swallow my fingers along with the marshmallow though.”

“YOU KNOW YOU L1K3 M3 SW4LLOW1NG YOU D4V3.”

Dave felt himself turn red at the words. He turned away to disguise his embarrassment, but of course Terezi had already smelled it on him. She turned a slight shade of teal herself. “1 D1DNT M34N L1K3 WH4T3V3R YOUR3 TH1NK1NG OF.”

 “That’s it. No more eating marshmallows ever again, before my trauma over gyrating puppet ass and shitty swords becomes replaced by charred marshmallows and badly innuendoed social situations. I hope the inner therapist in you is happy, Rose, you’ll have a shitload to work on me then.”

“I’m flattered and very pleased, Dave. I always am.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Rose and Dave went back to their quarters/rooms/respite blocks/whatever together. It was a long, silent walk, sort of unusual for both of them but not entirely uncomfortable. Their rooms were close to each other—practically across from each other actually—and Dave was sort of glad for it. It was nice having an old human friend close to him in this land of oddities and horrors. Terezi was the troll he felt closest to, but sometimes he could still feel the alien off of her, especially when she licked or sniffed him as she did several times today just so she could “see”. It was kind of crazy. So it was nice to have a slight change from that, especially since he and Rose had been through a lot together. She knew his dark sides just as he knew hers. Or most of hers anyway. Always a chance she could be hiding something in all those psycho-babble notebooks of hers.

“So how are you adjusting?” she eventually broke the silence.

“’S fine. I’m like a total pro at adapting to new situations and going with the flow. I’ll be king of this rock in pretty much a day, just you watch, Rose.”

“Is that so? I could’ve sworn I spotted a bit of discomfort from you, but that could’ve been my imagination.”

“Totally your imagination. It goes wild sometimes like a mustang running out there buck naked in the prairie, waiting to score with some hot lady ‘stangs.”

“Plains.”

“Whatever.”

“You can talk if you need to, you know.”

“Since when have I ever not talked to you? You can believe that I’ll come to you if I have some issue and I give you permission now to poke and prod my head with as many metal tools and objects and weird colossal words as you need to, alright?”

“Fine.”

Dave glanced at her, and figured that particular part of the conversation was really over since Rose wasn’t giving him an X-ray viewing eye. He asked her in return. “So how are you adjusting then?”

“Do I seem like I’m doing that badly?”

“Well I figured if you can shoot out the question I can send it right back.”

“Very well. I suppose it’s not like what I imagined, the trolls and their base. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s simply a thing.”

“Right.”

“Kanaya is helping. She’s trying her best to show me around, make me acclimated. We started treating the carapace. He’s no longer near death and she thinks that she can eventually bring him to full recovery, which is good news. He’s currently sleeping.”

“So she has total mad healing skills?”

“She picked up a few things over the years. Or sweeps, according to the trolls. She is a jade blood. Apparently in their class they used to grow up and care for the mother grub, so she has some knowledge of overall health and caretaking and she enjoys it.”

“Interesting. So…. are you and her, like, a thing?”

“I really don’t know what “thing” you’re speaking of, Dave. There could be a lot of things.”

“You just went evasive on me. Is that a yes?”

“You’ve staunchly chosen to see only want you want to see.”

“So that’s a yes to my yes.”

“Even if I offer you contrary evidence you’re going to view it with your purely red-colored lenses. I don’t see why I should waste time denying.”

“The more you say no, the more I’m seeing yes.”

“I’m going to sleep now. Goodnight, Dave.”

She disappeared into her quarters before he could say another word.  He smirked. Yep, total yes.

He walked the few feet further it was to his room, and stopped when he saw a shadow around the corner. He crept towards it, peeking around the edge.

It came from a small nook which would have been conveniently tucked out of sight if the hallway were just a bit dimmer, big enough for two or three people. Or trolls, in this instance. Entangled in each other’s arms were a sleeping Karkat and Gamzee, and damn, Terezi wasn’t lying when she said Gamzee made up piles of horns. It didn’t look comfortable at all, but apparently they were fast asleep on it, so it must have been comfortable enough. As Dave took a step back, Gamzee’s eyes popped open. He stared at him and stared through him, a slow smile creeping across his painted face. Dave frowned at the guy, suppressing a shudder.

He quickly absconded out to his rooms, closing the door behind him. Yeah, that was their private moment, no need to interrupt.

As he surveyed his room, looking over the wide empty space in the middle of the floor, he sighed to himself. Great, now to find something to pile up so he could get his sleep on as well. Taking a mental inventory of his sylladex, he scowled. He’d really hoped to never have to see these things again, except maybe in ironic memory of old times.

Dave dumped a bunch of smuppets on the floor, glaring at them as they bounced. He kicked them into a hasty, shitty pile, and threw himself back on it, trying to sleep. He could already feel their rumps in his armpit. Welcome to the start of the next three years of his new life.


	2. Chapter 2

 

**_Chapter 2_ **

Flashes of color swept over him as the music played. Some sad song, like one played on Rose’s violin. Or maybe it was laughter. Or maybe just the blood-tanged tongue of a dead bird licking his face as he stared down, making the air ring with its satisfied _caw caw caw_ at the devastation beneath it. He hated that shitty bird. He would’ve ran his sword through it if it didn’t already have one in it. And if the only whole sword in question wasn’t currently embedded in the body beneath his feet.

His vision was hazy. All he could see were the blood stains, the torn pieces of flesh, the askew feathers and the hat. The hat was what got him. The hat made him fall to his knees and dry-gag until he couldn’t heave anymore, until he couldn’t even kneel but just fell flat on his face, tears mingling with the blood, face caked to the ground like it was part of a mocking, gory painting. And the hat was the only sight in his vision. Until he woke up.

Dave’s eyes popped open and he laid there for a moment, taking in his environment. It didn’t give him any clues. He still had no fucking idea where he was. Then he felt the wetness on his cheek and freaked out, leaping out from the smuppet pile like he was a banshee in a rage. The solid rock of the four walls around him reestablished his surroundings. He recalled. Right. He was here. On this rock. And that wasn’t… real.

He combed his hair back and grabbed his glasses, which had gotten knocked off in his night of rough sleep. He slid them on his face and shot out the door. He had to get his head together.

xXxXxXxXxXx

And what better way than to practice his sword skills? He crouched and lunged, flash-stepped and spun, swiped, thrust, then threw up a guard for defense. He barely needed a sparring partner, but he jumped time anyway, and his future self fought his past self with all the speed, finesse and brutality he craved until the last memories of his nightmare faded from his memory. He came away bloody, scarred and breathless, his shirt hanging in scraps above his frame, and the other Dave to his great pleasure didn’t look much better.

As he saluted his sparring partner and turned away, a flash of color danced out of sight. He spun around, trying to place it, but it was gone. Weird. For a second he thought that might have been Lil Cal. But he had no clue what happened to Lil Cal after he got sliced in half, and there was no Bro around to wield him anyway. He was obviously seeing things now too.

Dave swept a trail of blood from his eyes and went to find a shower.

xXxXxXxXxXx

After a nice, long hot shower and a change of clothes, Dave now felt refreshed again. His stomach however, was famished. So he went to find food.

The kitchen/nutritional block/whatever only had one person in it when he walked in. Dave crept up behind Rose and stuck his head over her shoulder, peering down at the words she was writing in her notebook. Another of her gay wizard fanfics. Figures.

“Normal people would probably announce their arrival and then ask to read my writing, Dave.”

“You still let me do it so obviously you don’t mind.” Dave leaned away from her, scoped out the kitchen for a refrigerator of some kind. There were cabinets and other weird devices. Maybe he’d try the cabinets first. “Why are you writing that anyway? Isn’t the whole fan community kind of up and exploded now like a full on blast of fire hot Cheetos?”

“Cheetos analogy or no, this meteor is severely lacking in good literature. Or at least ones that we can read. I’ve decided to create my own.”

“Wow. Look out, new session, Rose the superstar author-wonder is coming to you from the stars beyond. Named best writer of the millennia by expert critics, Dave, Kanaya, Gamzee and Karkat, the only assholes left to call themselves experts and write obnoxious autofellating reviews in the first place.”

“I appreciate the intergalactic boost alerting every species of my humble prowess. I pray I don’t grow to fail you.”

“You won’t, Lalonde. I have faith. Back on the topic of my shrinking stomach, where the hell is the food?” He’d rifled through the cabinets by now and couldn’t see anything more than foods with names he couldn’t read and things that were crawling in a way that made him sick to his stomach. He closed the last cabinet on one of the aforementioned crawlies.

“Seeing that you’ve gone through all the cabinets, I really don’t know. I’ve only eaten the leftover things I alchemized. I’m suspecting that the best course of action in this situation is to ask someone who would know, someone like Terezi?”

“I’m really loving your Seer skills, Rose.”

“That was pure logical deduction, but thank you, Knight.” Their conversation was cut off by a sudden blackout of all the lights.

Dave and Rose fell silent, looking up as if they could see the cause. Of course, the whole place was black so they couldn’t see much of anything. Dave peeked his head out of where he thought the doorway was, but the hallway was swathed in darkness as well, not even a hint of light present. Then, with a brief flicker, the lights cut back on.

“What was that?” he turned to Rose.

“Apparently meteors have bad power too?”

Dave shook his head.

 Rose continued, “By the way, since we’ve been dubbed “de facto” leaders of this voyage for the moment, we’ll need to have a meeting with the others soon.”

“What about?”

“Undecided yet. Perhaps the new session? Or perhaps ground rules to avoid silly and insignificant actions among those left in the party?”

“Too late for that.”

“You’re quite the optimist.”

“I get it from John.”

Rose gave a doubtful snort. “So you have absolutely no input in what the subject matter will be?”

“Please, surprise me. I trust you. You’re my Virgin Mary in this place.”

The side of Rose’s mouth twitched upwards. She waved him off, returning to her writing, and Dave didn’t need any more persuasion as his stomach growled again. He went off to find Terezi.

xXxXxXxXxXx

As he left the kitchen and emerged into the hallway, running over a mental map of places Terezi might be, he saw a flash of green in his eye. He spun, bringing out his sword faster than the eye could see, but no one was there. He lowered his sword. What the hell? Was he getting jumpy and paranoid now too? Soon they were gonna have to make a ward specifically for Dave Strider, who had apparently jumped in the loony bin during this trip. That would be a funny thing to tell John and Jade. Oh yeah, you know your friend with the cool shades and the mega awesome time skills who can own practically anyone in a rap battle? Yeah, he flipped out on that troll meteor and now is out of commission for the rest of the session. Sorry if you thought you were meeting someone normal for the reunion.

Ha. It would have been the kind of irony his Bro would’ve appreciated. And it was even more irony that he wasn’t around to.

He moved on.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave found Terezi in her lair of rooms, illustrating a large portrait of a court procession in chalk on her wall, complete with tons of GU1LTY!!! sections and scalemates swinging from nooses. He approached.

“4S TH3 JURY 1 1MPLOR3 YOU TO LOOK UPON TH3 CR1M3S OF TH1S M4N, OR DR4GON 4S TH3 C4S3 M4Y B3, 4ND S33 TH4T H3 1S W1THOUT 4 DOUBT GU1LTY! TH3 3V1D3NC3 TH4T 1 H4V3 L41D DOWN DUR1NG TH1S TR14L C4S3 PROV3S 1T 4ND 1 SUGG3ST TH4T YOU CONV1CT H1M TO TH3 V3RY 3NDS OF M4RT14L L4W. M4Y JUST1C3 B3 S3RV3D.”

“Wow, he’s being put through the ringer, huh?”

“H3 1S 4 V3RY B4D CR1M1N4L, Y3S 1ND33D.” She spins around to greet Dave, a broad smile on her face. “4ND WH4T BR1NGS YOU 1NTO MY HUMBL3 4BOD3?”

 “Can’t find any food in this place. You guys do eat, right?”

“OF COURS3 W3 34T. HOW DO YOU TH1NK 1 M41NT41N MY B34UT1FUL F1GUR3?”

“Can you hook a guy up? There’s nothing in your pantries but spiderwebs. I don’t know how you survive.”

“W3 DONT K33P OUR FOOD 1N OUR STOR4G3 NOOKS. W3 C4PTCH4LOGU3 3V3RYTH1NG. BROWS3 4ND CHOOS3.”

She opened her sylladex, a scratch and sniff modus, and raked her claws over cards that appeared, taking a deep inhale to be certain. Turning to Dave she started to list off items—grubcorn, candy, strawberries, cherries, fruit gushers (oh how John would be happy to note that more Crocker food had spawned in another galaxy), cake, something that sounded like the things that had been crawling in the cabinets, and then baked fish that she informed him she stole from Gamzee.

Dave chose some cherries, a box of fruit gushers, and then some baked fish, just because it was actual substance. And then they ate breakfast. It actually wasn’t a very delicious meal, on his end anyway. The cherries made the fish kind of soggy and he couldn’t taste the fruit gushers after it anyway. But it worked. Then they downed bottles of Faygo and apple juice while debating ways to best put criminals down. Dave drew Exhibit A, a courtroom full of smuppets and scalemates and various contraptions to bind the prisoner down as they debated. Terezi drew on top of it, detailing different ways of execution, and then placed herself and Dave in the image for good measure. She was the prosecutor/legislacerator, naturally, and he became a judge with a mountainous grey beard. Of course his trademark sunglasses were placed only in the general direction of his face, but he’d gotten used to the blind girl’s drawings by now; it didn’t even faze him.

“We’ll continue this another time, Tz.”

“YOU H4V3 TO SHOW M3 YOUR SW33T LYR1C1SMS 4S W3LL, D4V3. IV3 B33N W41T1NG W1TH TH1NLY V31L3D 4NT1C1P4T1ON.”

“It’s well worth the wait. When you see them, they’ll rain down like sweet nectar, a thunderstorm foretold eons ago to drench all the famished grains. And the dancers’ll be drinking it all up, totally overwhelmed by the delicious bounty.”

“4M 1 4 D4NC3R?”

“Nah, you’re the god sitting on the mountain who’s watching it all go down and enjoying the fruits of her good reign.”

“1 W1LL 3NJOY TH3 SHOW. DONT D1S4PPO1NT.”

“I never do. Later.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

He left Terezi’s rooms, taking a random route back to his own. He figured he’d find it eventually, if he just wandered the maze of hallways long enough. When a large jungle of leaves entered his view, he realized that there were probably more places on this meteor than he’d previously considered, and he might be slightly lost. Just slightly. He approached the web of leaves cautiously, eyes scoping over the flora as he finally identified separate potted plants, squat flowers, and a few tiny trees starting to bloom. Jade would probably be shocked to note that there were no pumpkins visible in it.

On the other side of the garden, a dark shape crouched, muttering softly to something he couldn’t yet see. When his footsteps were near enough to announce his arrival, she sprung up, half-concealing the area behind her. Her eyes locked onto him.

“Whoa, relax. No need to spring up like an ancient jack-in-the-box.”

“Dave.” Kanaya nodded at him. “Hello.” Behind the folds of her skirt, he could spot the head of the matriorb poking up from the soil.

“Nice to see ya again too. Talking to your new Mom, I see.”

“Its Not—“

“It’s cool. I totally get it. If I had a Mom who died and could come back to life or get reincarnated or something I’d spent a shitload of time talking to her too. She’d be like the priest to the seasonal airing of my dirty confessionals, the MRI to my hidden brain scans, the telegrapher to my fifty pages of Morse Code. Hell, even if she were a baby and couldn’t understand a thing I said I’d probably still do it. Make a reconnection, you know?”

Kanaya gives a small smile. “I Understand. I Was Not Quite Reconnecting With My Maternal Guardian Turned Grub However. I Was Discussing… Another Matter Of Concern.” She glanced down at the soil.

“Another matter?”

“Have You Not Noticed Anything Strange About Anyone In Our Company?”

“Depends on what you mean. I’ve noticed a lot of strange things about the people here.”

“I Mean…” Kanaya took a breath. C’mon, you can do it, Dave mentally coaxed her. Just spit it out. “I Still Do Not Trust The Clown.”

 “Gamzee? That’s kind of funny coming from a vampire.”

“I Am Serious. I Get Very Bad Vibes From Him. Karkat May Have Quelled Some Of His Violent Instincts, But He Is Still Hoarding The Heads Of Our Friends. I Dont Trust Him.”

“You think he’s gonna flip his shit again?”

“It Is Always A Matter Of Possibility. I Cannot Say.” She shifted in place and Dave caught a glimpse of another object lying behind her. A chainsaw. Already covered in rich purple blood, like it hadn’t been cleaned off from the last slaughter. She noticed his glance and looked back at him pleadingly. “Please Do Not Tell Rose.”

“She’s had demons of her own. You don’t think she could handle it? Besides, as Seer of Light she should be able to tell us the best direction to head in so we won’t all be whacked in the middle of the night.”

“I Do Not Want Her To Know. I Am Dealing With It.”

“With a chainsaw.”

“That Was For… I Will Not Use It. I Used It Before, Once To Help A Friend And The Second, To Kill One. Though By That Time Im Not Sure I Would Call Him A Friend.” Kanaya glanced at her chainsaw. “I Dont Want To Repeat That.” She looked back up at him. “So I Would Not Act Unless There Was Reason To.” The chainsaw disappeared, captchalogued once more.

“Rose has a way of finding things out, you know. You don’t even need to tell her.”

“I Am Aware But By The Time She Does It Will Be Gone. She Will Not Have The Opportunity. Besides, If The Clown Does Not Act Then There Will Be No Reason For Caution Or Suspicion.”

“Alright. Fine. I won’t tell her.”

“Thank You.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave fell back onto his pile with a brief _oof_ that sent puppets flying. The day was… weird. That conversation with Kanaya, that mock trial with Terezi, the food, the sword fighting. No, okay, the sword fighting was awesome. That was pretty much the highlight of his day. But the other stuff… God, the trolls were weird. Had everyone on this meteor been driven absolutely insane? Kanaya with her Gamzee obsession. And even Terezi had eventually killed someone. And the food. He’d have to figure that out sooner rather than later, he knew. He wasn’t a fan of alchemized food since it had a certain over-processed taste to it. He figured that it was probably what ectobiological experiments tasted like, though he’d never actually eaten any slime that had resulted. But maybe he’d have to try it. The alchemy food not the slime. The latter, he didn’t even think he could make ironic enough to be cool.

As a whirlwind of half-formed thoughts cycled around his brain, Dave fell asleep.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He was awakened by a noise. His eyes popped open as he heard the rustle. When something rustled again, he turned his gaze to the side, sunglasses mercifully obscuring the movement. At the edge of his pile, Lil Cal sat grinning up at him. Dave froze for a second. …Was this the start of some weird, twisted dream he couldn’t remember entering into?

As if his thoughts were a trigger, Lil Cal leaped away, landing at the foot of his door. It was waiting.

He jumped up from the pile, pulling out his broken sword, and approached. Bro was long gone, wasn’t he? So who the hell was this? Maybe it was Lil Cal himself, speaking to him from the dead? Weird things like that can happen in dreams. Besides, the last image he had of Lil Cal was as a shredded puppet. This Lil Cal was sewn back together again in one piece and had on completely new attire.

As Dave came closer, the door behind Lil Cal opened and the puppet bounced out. Dave followed it. It led him down a number of hallways his mental map didn’t help him identify—okay so he’d barely learned the meteor at all; he was seeing that now—and quite a few flights of stairs that Dave ventured onto rather carefully. He wouldn’t put it past Lil Cal to maneuver a trick just so he would tumble down the stairs on his ass and mock him mercilessly for it. Then, they finally approached a room Dave had never seen before. The room opened and Lil Cal flew in. Dave was left to follow.

Inside was an entirely new world. Rainbow streaks painted the wall, creating a collage of shapes and colors that would probably be labeled as really good “abstract art” if Earth was still a thing that existed. Horn collections were around, piled up on one another, horns arranged in rows on top of shelves and counters, horns hung from strings along the ceiling like dark, bulbous stars. But what took the cake were the collection of heads lined up next to one another in glass jars, dried rainbow colors of blood extending from their necks, expressions in various states of pain or shock. One could barely fit in his jar, the horns were so big. Dave counted out five heads and spotted one blue body in the corner of the room, stuffed away until, Dave guessed, it would be set for a date with one decapitation.

A _HONK!_ announced the presence of his inviter, sliding out from the cover of shadow at the very edge of the room, three purple scars lighting his painted face. Gamzee. He twisted his juggling clubs around lightly in his hands, giving Dave a long stare. Dave glanced over at Lil Cal, who had jumped up to a counter and sat limp against the wall, and back to Gamzee, who was still looking him over.

Dave gave an amused huff of air. “You own Lil Cal? Did you fix him up too?”

“LiTtLe mAn dIdN’T NeEd nO FiXiNg. He’s a RiGhT MiRaClE, bRo.”

 “A fucking nightmare of one if I say so myself.”

Gamzee gave a slow smile. “tHaT MaY Be tRuE.”

“I’m guessing you didn’t just invite me out here for a game of midnight charades and fingerpainting our faces. So what do you want? You were stalking me earlier too and I know I have a sexy ass and all but no reason a guy can’t ask for some breathing room.”

“NeVeR GoT A ChAnCe tO SaY ThAnK YoU AfTeR ThAt WONDERFUL MOTHERFUCKIN VIDEO. I shoulda promised you a welcome party. SINCE YOU’RE MY OWN PERSONAL NIGHTMARE MIRACLE, JUST WANTED TO DO IT RIGHT. honk.”

“You woke me out of sleep for this? Couldn’t have waited til morning, or night, or whatever time it’ll be when everyone gets up here.” He still didn’t know whether he and Rose were turning nocturnal or whether the trolls were beginning to function during the day, but they were starting to get on the same time schedule. Though it didn’t really matter. The meteor didn’t get much external light anyway.

“NO TIME LIKE THE FUCKIN PRESENT.”

And Gamzee moved, almost as quick as Bro. Damn, where’d he pick up that speed? Dave was used to swiftness though and put up his block by the time the hit arrived. Lil Cal’s hand slid off his blade as its grinning face darted away. Dave glared at the indecency of using his Bro’s puppet against him. Only his Bro could do that. He struck back out with his sword. Gamzee dodged. And then the strife was on, a whirl of motion and metal and flash steps. Gamzee alternated between using his juggling clubs and Lil Cal just when he thought it would agitate Dave most and throw him off step. Dave retorted with some dirty moves of his own, a jab to the horns, yanking back the troll’s fingers the one time he caught them sans Lil Cal, kicking him in the balls—or bone bulge, as they called it. Gamzee flashstepped at that exact moment and avoided it, luckily bastard.

Honks flew, cries were flung out, and they were both starting to spout bruises and cuts by the time an angry, tight voice rang out interrupting the proceedings.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ASSHOLES DOING, INTERRUPTING MY SLEEP? YOU KNOW THE NOISE ECHOES ALL THE WAY INTO THE BACK ROOM? NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO IF I START LOOKING LIKE ONE OF THOSE OLD TROLLS, JUST SAYING, OH WOE IS ME, WHENEVER I LOOK IN THE FUCKING MIRROR CAUSE I’M LEATHERY AND DISGUSTING AND CAN’T STAND MY FUCKING REFLECTION AND IT’S ALL THE FAULT OF YOU TWO IDIOT BULGEWIPES WHO DIDN’T STILL THEIR THINKPANS LONG ENOUGH TO SAY, “OH RIGHT, MAYBE PEOPLE ARE SLEEPING, MAYBE WE’LL JUST CONTINUE OUR HATEFUCK SESSION ANOTHER TIME CAUSE WE’RE ACTUALLY DECENT PEOPLE OR SOMETHING.”

Gamzee paused, stilling his juggling clubs as he turned to Karkat. “hey palebro.”

“HEY YOURSELF. DID YOU HEAR ANYTHING I JUST SAID.”

“Course we did. The whole world did, Karkat. You’re actually not as quiet as you think.”

“I DIDN’T ASK YOU, STRIDER. MAYBE YOU COULD TAKE A LESSON FROM THE REST OF THE TROLLS IN THIS PLACE AND LEARN HOW TO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH WHEN I’M TALKING TO SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU.”

“Oh… burn. Is it really true that you wouldn’t be able to look at yourself in the mirror though? Cause I think you’d have a hard time now.”

Karkat growled at him, showing teeth, pointy like daggers between his two lips. Then he flipped back to Gamzee. “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? WE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS AND AGREED IT WAS A HORRIBLE IDEA. A RATHER ASSWIPE OF AN IDEA, REALLY.”

“I DON’T REMEMBER AGREEING, BRO.  i just nodded and said i understood and moved on to somethin else. I DON’T SEE WHY I CAN’T BE MOTHERFUCKIN DOING WHAT I MOTHERFUCKIN WANNA DO THOUGH, KAR.”

“SHOOSH. SHOOOOOSH, YOU FUCKING HOMICIDAL IDIOT. SHOOOOOOOOSH.” Karkat went over and started papping Gamzee, stroking his cheeks, nose, eyes softly as he shooshed him down. Finally the indigo troll calmed down, smiling languidly down at him. Dave got uncomfortable and turned away, feeling like he was intruding on a private moment. Now he could see why the trolls referred to this as a type of romance.

“So uh, if it’s cool with you guys I’m just gonna go back to bed now.”

“WAIT FOR A MINUTE, QUICKSTEP.”

Dave turned around. Karkat unwrapped himself from Gamzee, staring at Dave. Karkat continued, “LET’S JUST GET THIS SETTLED RIGHT HERE.”

“What?”

Karkat looked at Gamzee for confirmation, and while the other troll obviously wasn’t too thrilled with the idea, he apparently gave some form of invisible approval back since Karkat turned back to Dave again. “MY FRIEND HERE HATES YOU.”

“Yeah I could figure that one out. Thanks for the most apparent observation ever, Sherlock. Your deductions are infallible.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME FINISH. HE _HATE_ HATES YOU. AND BEFORE YOU LEAD HIM ON ANY FURTHER, JUST WANNA SETTLE IF YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY. ARE YOU BLACK FOR HIM?”

Holy shit. This was… Dave should’ve realized. He mentally slapped himself for not thinking of it. Man, this whole platonic vs. romantic stuff was going to kill him, it really was. Gamzee had been riled up about the video for a while, and half-blamed Dave for causing his homicidal rampage. Dave didn’t know where he got that one, honestly. A stupid video—even if it is ICP and they’re pretty fucking horrible—isn’t causative of anything. Anyway, yeah, to clear up this little miscommunication _Captain, we’re going down and our communication signals aren’t working and that little alarm in the cockpit keeps going haywire, should we abandon attempts and jump the plane or just wait for our death_ kind of disaster right now.

“No. I don’t even hate the dude. I just think he’s, you know, a little weird. But no, I’m not trying to pursue _that_ with him. Sorry if I led you on or whatever, man.” Fuck, this whole misconception had him halting over words. Striders didn’t do that. Dave met Gamzee’s eyes, which didn’t give any emotion away at all. Just stared at him. Karkat spoke again.

“GOOD WELL GLAD WE CLEARED UP THAT LITTLE THING. DAVE, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SUNGLASSES AND YOURSELF OUT THAT LITTLE DOOR RIGHT THERE AND SAY A VERY WELCOME GOODBYE. AND GAMZEE, YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CLOWN SELF BACK WITH ME AND GET SOME SLEEP BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW YOU NEED IT RIGHT NOW.”

“If tHaT’S YoUr tHiNkInG, pAlEbRo. I CaN Go aLoNg wItH ThAt.”

Karkat pushed Gamzee off to the back room where he emerged from. Dave realized it was another room within the overall larger one. This must have been Gamzee’s lair for retreat then. Looked totally different than Terezi’s. And those heads were starting to stare at him. He had to get out of here.

Before he left, Karkat’s eyes caught his own. There was brief gratitude in the gruff troll’s eyes, which was quickly shadowed by irritation. Dave nodded, understanding. He left.

xXxXxXxXxXx

As he finally made his way back to his rooms, he saw a blonde head nestled by the base of his still-open door. Rose looked up as he stepped closer and raised an eyebrow as she saw the damage to his clothes.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“I see you couldn’t either.”

She stood up and followed Dave as he walked in, closing the door behind them. “Hmm, nice layout, brother.”

She was being sarcastic. He had absolutely nothing in his room yet. Hadn’t had the chance to decorate it. “I’m sure yours looks loads better.”

“Actually it does. And I came to extend the gift to you.”

“The gift of your expertise designing skills? I’m so honored.”

“A bed. To be exact.”

“A bed?” Dave raised an eyebrow. Now this was gold. “Go on.”

“I discovered how to make one. Or well, almost a bed. It has a gigantic pillow instead of a mattress, though I suspect it would feel quite similar. I wanted to see if I could possibly do the same with yours. And steal some of your grist of course, so I could finalize mine into physical being.”

“I’m in.”

She showed him her design and the items used for crafting a bed—a replica magic wand, a few flat pillows, yarn, her crystal ball, and some dark magic for added measure. It turned into a large pillow-mattress with a long, wooden, ebony frame, crystal balls on each end of the bedposts, and a dark magical current running through. A fuchsia sheet was laid on top of everything. She was right. It cost an insane amount of grist. While they waited for her to pirate his stores, they worked on his bed.

She loaned him a spare replica magic wand for the wood, and he experimented with the mattress-substitute, combining a few different puppets and pillows and seeing what resulted. He put the end product, some sort of multicolored pillow with two plump rumps in the middle, in the mix for the bed as well. He added turntables and some Game Bro mags. Never could hurt to get some rhymes in before sleep, and Game Bro was always appropriate. It turned the design for his bed into something similar to Rose’s but ultimately different. The frame was still wooden and ebony, but his pillow-mattress was soft plush and multicolored, with unfortunate hint of rump underneath. A GameBro sheet was spread across his bed, and floating turntables hovered above his bedpost. He could pull em down and make new rhymes any time he wanted. His bed also had small sparks of orange fire running through. He wondered if the replica wand was the result of that.

They made his bed. Rose’s followed shortly after. She captchalogued it so she could transport it to her room.

“Looks like we’ll finally get some decent shut-eye now.”

Rose smiles. “Before bed, would you like a late night snack?”

“What’s your plans?”

“Kanaya found a way to grow proper tomatoes in her garden. She informed me today.”

“Yeah, I noticed she was able to grow stuff other than pumpkins. Amazing.”

“Well, want to try and make some pizza? I’m sure we could figure something out.”

“You’re on like a vibrating hula girl. If this were a dream and you were its master I’d be your bitch, a string puppet at some kid’s fake magic show. Just make me dance and let it flow.”

“Glad you so heartily approve. Bon Appetit.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and thank you for the kudos and comments! I appreciate it. Here's the third chapter. I had to split it up into two parts because it was getting too long, so it's not entirely complete. But enjoy the first part! -Zade

**_Chapter 3_ **

The pizza was divine. Like a juicy slice from heaven just parachuted into the middle of a fucking dry desert. Where he’s lying parched and starving and half-dead and by some means the pizza angels had heard his cry and finally decided to get their feathery, haloed asses together to rectify the wrong. And the bed on top of that… Like seriously, how much more could he be spoiled. He hadn’t slept that good since he’d entered the game in the first place, and while it technically hadn’t been that long ago, it felt like ages. Not to mention that he’d been doing a lot of time loops in the middle of it all and felt like he’d lived several centuries more than he really had. Several centuries that he’d gone without the cheesy, fattening, your-mouth-is-going-to-fall-off-if-you-stuff-any-more-but-you-just-can’t-stop-eating taste of pizza in his mouth.

And now he was awake and sitting in a plump armchair in one of the random rooms—yeah they didn’t have beds but they had armchairs; he didn’t even get it—and thumping his fingers to an internal beat while he pondered over the right words to send John in an update. Plus Jade and Davesprite and all the other little critters roaming around at their feet right now. But mostly John, just because he was his best bud he hadn’t seen in ages, and he’d sent the original letter in the first place. He didn’t exactly know how he was going to get the letter to him without Jade’s spatial interference. Maybe he’d do it in a dream bubble.

Dave tapped his fingers again as he looked over what he had so far. It was lame. He hadn’t had a proper rhymes session in forever.

> _sitting here thinking ‘bout all the days past_
> 
> _when we were little monsters not rememberin week last_
> 
> _things are changed best bro_
> 
> _youre chillin on a ship_
> 
> _and im hangin on this Rock_
> 
> _with only rhymes on my hip_
> 
> _but uh_
> 
> _before i get off track i just wanna turn back to the subject of this rap_
> 
> _and i miss you man_
> 
> _i miss chillin in LOHAC and visiting LOWAS while your twisters shook up mass_

  __Okay, that was a bad rhyme. What did he actually want to say again? Oh right, updates. Well maybe that’ll flow better.

> _rose is doing well_
> 
> _i know you guys probably miss her_
> 
> _its weird to think of her as my gothy ecto-sister_
> 
> _and i hear jades blossoming into an awesome witch_
> 
> _which is really cool man_
> 
> _i know that spacey stuffs a bitch_
> 
> _the trolls are fucking crazy_
> 
> _not much more to say_
> 
> _their customs are really weird—they dont have beds by the way_
> 
> _tz is my main girl_
> 
> _without her id be astray_
> 
> _and rose has the brains_
> 
> _as seer she knows the way_
> 
> _karkat went bonkers_
> 
> _he up and disappeared_
> 
> _as leader i don’t know how the trolls even persevered_
> 
> _gamzee is weird_
> 
> _he started hate-flirting_
> 
> _which creeped me out more than if hed still been clown-murderin_
> 
> _and kanayas pretty cool_
> 
> _she made a whole garden_
> 
> _jade may be surprised its not only full of pumpkins_
> 
> _theres also another guy that got dumped onto this “ship”_
> 
> _hes wearing bedsheets_
> 
> _like yours now i think of it_

 Dave paused again, not bothering to dwell on the fact that he knew what John’s old bedsheets looked like. He’d started rambling. He tried to think of what else to add.

> _been having wicked dreams_
> 
> _i dont really know the meaning_
> 
> _dont know if you had em too_
> 
> _i mean_
> 
> _nah nevermind just forget it_

Dave nearly scratched those few lines out, but then thought that would just look stupid. Rather than go on a tangent about his weird dreams, he figured he’d just finally end it.

> _guess thats all i gotta say_
> 
> _hope you and jade are doing well_
> 
> _send me back a reply john_
> 
> _just maybe not in a pail_
> 
> _—Dave Stri_

Dave stared at his rap and frowned at it. Then finally, he scratched it all out. He’d write something else.

He was thinking about how he could better do this thing, maybe start off with an insane metaphor this time and work his way in, when the aforementioned guy with the bedsheets walked into the room. Dave stared at him for a second. WV stared back. Then Dave gave a short nod. “Sup.”

The carapace’s eyes darted away from the walls it’d been traveling towards and back to him, before flickering over the room again, barely registering the greeting. Dave settled his agitation, examining the carapace in turn. He’d barely gotten a chance to actually _look_ at a Dersian, despite the fact that he was a Derse dreamer and had traversed several time leaps among them. But he’d always been smack dab in the middle of something, never just able to pause and look and think. And the only other Dersian he’d been around for any substantial amount of time was Jack, and well… if anyone got an opportunity to actually look at that guy for too long chances are they were either already dead or on the way to a pretty quick death shortly after.

WV’s skin—could it be called skin? perhaps it’d be more apt to compare it to a shell—was hard and rigid, a rich, ebony black. His eyes were round, little white specters shining from the black of his face. His hood was down, so Dave could see how round his head was, a perfect circle, devoid of any hair at all. Dave always thought that was weird. Even the women didn’t have hair. Maybe they just didn’t need it or something. WV felt his stare and finally turned to meet his gaze, as his sharp, clawed fingers pulled his hood back up. The orbs stared.

Dave spoke, “So we never were properly introduced. You got a full name?”

It took a few seconds, but WV finally spoke, the first Dave heard him talk since… ever. “I’ve had many titles. My most recent Wayward Vagabond, my most ancient, Warweary Villein. I don’t know if any suit me anymore. Not now.”

“So just WV then?”

WV gave a nod and resumed inspecting the room.

Dave figured he wasn’t going to get much more conversation than that, so he started again. “You know, for a mayor you’re a pretty quiet guy.”

That got a reaction. WV started, turning sharply back to Dave. “How do you know about Can Town?”

“Can Town? That’s its name?”

WV turned guarded. He narrowed his eyes.

Dave shrugged. “What? You were wearing a banner that announced your position for the whole world to see. You thought we’d just be blind or it’d be mercifully obscured by the gaping red hole in your body screaming ‘hey im here im dying dont even think of noticing anything else on my body because this is so damn important right now’? It was kind of obvious, dude. And when a body drops on to your damn deck everyone looks at it rather thoroughly, believe me.”

WV simmered down a bit. He slowly opened his mouth, answering the question. “Yes, I am the mayor of Can Town.” He had a tightness in his voice, not simply because he was embarrassed from admitting it, and yes, he was, which made Dave wonder exactly what this Can Town was and where he could get a glimpse of it. But there was something else underneath as well.

“So what happened? Why aren’t you there?”

“It’s gone.”

“Oh. …Jack?”

WV nodded.

“Sorry, man.”

WV was silent for a moment, lost in a reverie that Dave figured he didn’t want to know about. Then WV’s eyes snapped back to him. He asked in return, “You didn’t introduce yourself, haughty rude creature. Who are you?”

“Did you just seriously call me a creature?”

“Human. Boy.”

“I have a name.”

“Aha. The magnificent introduction.”

“It’s… Are you waiting for it? Are you ready? One syllable, four letters. It’s awesome. It’s cool. It’s Dave.”

“Dave.”

Dave nodded to WV in response.

“Why do you humans have terrible names?”

“So says the guy who doesn’t even have a name.”

“I met another human, once, who had a one syllable, four lettered name as well. It was just as dumb. I preferred his title.”

“I’m raising my nonexistent ‘I can’t drink yet because I’m not even of age but I’ll have this fucking toast anyway’ glass to you for having taste.”

WV caught the sarcasm. He glared once more. “Why am I speaking to you? You are an uncool human.”

 “I’m shivering in my boots from the blast of that sentence.”

“I am going to do better things. Like explore this strange place now.”

“Have fun. Don’t trip on the train of your dress. Wouldn’t want to have to emergency resuscitate you. Again, I mean. I know you’re rather fragile.”

WV glared and hurried out the room.

Well that was fun while it lasted. Mental note to speak to the healing carapace more. He seemed like an interesting (read: entertaining), if slightly uptight, guy. Even if he did have terrible taste in names. Dave looked back down at his notebook, scanning over his lame rap. He sighed. Yeah, his head wasn’t into this. Time to look up Rose to see if she even knew a pretty reliable way to send the letter to John in the first place. And maybe ask her about WV.

When he stepped out in the hallway, the lights blacked out. Again? Seriously? This place had crappier power than the hallway of a B-horror film. And you just really couldn’t beat those.

The lights flickered back on again and Dave shook his head. He went to find Rose.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Turns out that she was exactly where he thought she’d be. The kitchen. But unlike what he suspected, she wasn’t working on her fan-novel or the psychological study he’d found her secretly writing one time, recording all the information about him and the other people on the meteor and their quirks and issues. She’d sort of made the kitchen her writing space, since no one actually went in it for food, and it was small enough to work in.

But today, Rose wasn’t writing. She was standing at the conventional nutrition heating unit—an oven, it was an oven—with, of all people, Gamzee. They were standing over a myriad of ingredients: flour, sugar, various fruits, Faygo—wait why was Faygo there—a pan in which they were creating a thick mixture, a few strips of what looked like jerky, and some grubs scattered about. Currently they were arguing about what ingredients would be good to try in the next batch.

“But the texture doesn’t lend itself well to this. That much is evident. And the taste would be entirely ruined.”

“DePeNdS On wHaT TaStE YoU’Re tRyInG To cReAtE, sIs. YoU CoUlD CrEaTe sOmEtHiNg jUsT AlL Up aNd nEw, EnTiReLy mIrAcUlOuS, iF YoU AsK Me.”

“I’m sure that if I asked you, a lot of things would be miraculous.”

The curly haired troll just grinned at that, returning to adding strange things into his pie mix.

Dave wondered, yet again, if he was slowly losing his mind on this meteor. Since when were Rose and Gamzee friends? Turning to the side, he spotted a dark shape in the corner that obviously thought the same thing, watching the two like a hawk while she pretended not to, sketching in her notebook. Dave made his way over.

“So what’s up with these two?” He asked, sitting next to her.

Kanaya responded without looking up. “They’re Baking. Pies I Do Believe.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I Found Them This Way.”

“What, Gamzee just decided he wanted baking lessons?”

“I Suspect It Was The Other Way Around.”

“And you just happen to be here… sketching?”

“Fashion Designs Are A Very Important And Intriguing Thing In This Time Of Potential Boredom.”

“Does that mean you’re trying to control yourself?”

“I Have A Better Sense Of Control Than You Would Think. Besides, She’s Here.”

They both glanced back to Rose. She was handling Gamzee rather well, secretly removing the ingredients that he secretly threw in, evading his more overt suggestions, dancing around the troll’s words in a way that seemed to make him delighted rather than insulted, and somehow they were finalizing pies to be made, tossing them into the oven as the first batch came out. They smelled delicious, whatever may or may not have ended up in them. Dave found himself salivating.

Besides the strangeness of it all, he had to admit that Rose looked content and amused, more than she’d looked in a while, actually, since the time she turned grimdark. Kanaya had probably noticed, which was most likely the reason she was sitting here sketching rather than pestering Rose more forcefully about it.

After the second batch of pies were in, Rose turned to them, nodding to Dave. Gamzee spun around as well, his eyes lighting up in a dangerous way when they touched on Dave’s. Dave gave him a warning look in return, hoping it would register through his glasses. _Don’t. Karkat already talked to you about this._ And as much as Dave thought the blusterhead troll was generally useless, he had to admit that he’d seemed pretty effective in that situation. In response to his long stare, Gamzee’s eyes flickered elsewhere.

“So, I’m going to start with the obvious here. Why the hell are we making pies now?” Dave asked the room.

“The better question would be why not.”

“I think mine was really a better question, Rose.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Okay, lemme state it again. Who started it?”

“I approached Gamzee with the proposition. I thought we could all use some nutritious substance in our lives that both trolls and humans would enjoy eating. He agreed. And since he’s default Master Pie Maker here he offered to show me the pathway to chef pie creations.”

“tOtAlLy iNsAnE SkIlLs oF TiTtYsWeLlInG PrOpOrTiOnS.”

 “Yes, crazy skills of enlarged mammary gland measures. And they brought you here, did they not? Are you joining the party, Dave?”

“Pie-making and fashion-sketching, while it sounds delicious and tempting I’m afraid I gotta pass,” Dave replied. “More crazy shit to get done and barely enough time to do it. Ironic since I’m basically the God of Time around here, I know. But I’m basically the god of irony too.”

“Well I would’ve thought pies would’ve seemed a more tempting offer. There’s lemon, grape, cherry, apple…”

“CoMpLeTe wItH FaYgO AdDiTiVeS,” Gamzee winked.

“That Stuff Is Quite Possibly Toxic.”

“DoN’T DiSs tHe fAyGo, KaN-SiS.”

“Maybe I’ll try some another time,” Dave amended, since the wafting smell coming from the pies was starting to make his stomach rumble in a good way. By “another time” it probably meant pretty soon, actually. “I came to ask you a question.”

“Yes?”

“I saw WV today, the Dersian?”

“Ah yes, he is getting much better.”

“Yes, He’s Actually Able To Walk And Is Well Enough To Stay Conscious For Several Hours Now. Before He Would Simply Fall Asleep Again Soon After Waking. So He Is Recovering Quite Well.”

“Well what’s his deal? He’s kind of a weird dude. I don’t really need more of those walking around. I feel like we have enough.” He felt Gamzee’s eyes fall on him then. Yeah, okay, so that was a snark meant for you, purple troll. Enjoy it while it lasts.

“I Tend To Think That He’s Simply Lonely And Confused, At The Moment. Completely Normal With His Healing Process And Getting Uprooted From His Former Home. Do You See Anything In The Future That Should Be Prevented Or Taken Caution Of, Rose?”

“Nothing that I can see. Doesn’t mean that nothing happens, simply that there are no better alternative routes to avoid anything that does.”

“Guess that answers that. Know anything about Can Town?” Dave asked.

Rose and Kanaya shook their heads.

“He Never Mentioned It And I Never Persisted With Questioning.”

“Is it something important?” Rose asked.

“Just curious, is all. So, I had another question. I wanna send a letter to John in reply. Jade isn’t here to open up that space continuum thing—“

“I don’t think that means quite what you think it means.”

“—and I’m trying to figure out how best to do it. Is a dream bubble the only way?”

“It’s the only sure way I know of right now. Unless Jade decides to open up a hole this very minute and drop something else through.”

“Right, well, how do I make sure to get into one of those.”

“You haven’t been in one when you’ve slept yet?”

“Yeah, but not here yet. I’ve just had… other dreams.”

Rose gives him a curious look at that, but answers anyway. “Try walking out of that dream and into the next. I promise you it’s not as hard as it sounds.”

“Sometimes You Think You’re In That Time, But Something Feels Off, And You Find That It’s Not A Memory, It’s A Dream That You Can Then Manipulate.”

“I know how it works,” he told the girls, “I just— Fine. How do I make sure John’s there, then? I mean I don’t wanna go all dream-bubble walking and then he’s not even there to receive the letter. Or Jade. Or even Davesprite.”

“That is simply a matter of luck. I can tell you that it’ll be sooner than you think.”

“Which means it won’t be like, next time I enter a dream bubble then. Crap.”

“Sorry. That’s all I can see for now.”

“No, it’s all good. You’re amazing, Rose, thanks.”

Dave stands up.

“Where Are You Heading?”

“Going to find Terezi, maybe she can help me get my thoughts on this letter together. She wanted to see me rap anyway.”

“Have fun.”

“SuRe yOu’rE NoT GoNnA Be wAnTiNg aNy oF ThIs sCrUmPtIoUs mOtHeRfUcKiNg pIe bEfOrE YoU Go?” Gamzee added, holding one such pie out to him.

Dave paused, staring at the pie. It smelled pretty delicious. And it was warm, fresh out the oven and right there in front of him, literally held out on a platter. And his stomach was already rumbling... Alright, fine, he wanted the damn pie.

Dave grabbed a plate and cut a slice of it, biting into it without any further ado. Fuck, it was delicious. And warm and contained some slick sweet ingredient that coated the insides of his mouth and tongue as it went down. Actually the Faygo didn’t taste as bad as he thought it would, though it also had actual fruit added to it. And there was something crunchy in it as well. Grubs?

“Shit, this is like the holy grail of pastries. I’m fucking having a mouthgasm right now and I’m not even spitting out diseased volcanic rhymes. I mean this is amazing.”

Rose and Gamzee looked pleased with themselves. Kanaya stepped forward to have a slice of her own.

“Take it with you. There’s a lot more where that came from.”

“hAvE LoTs oF FuN, bRo.” There was a malicious tint to the words that Dave chose to ignore. He waved to Rose and Kanaya as he left, still feeling Gamzee’s eyes on his back as he stepped out the door.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave looked for Terezi in her rooms, venturing past the musclebeasts and ancient specimens and court room drawings, but she wasn’t there. He didn’t know where her bedroom was exactly. So he started wandering around the meteor, pie heavy in his stomach, contentment in his brain. He wondered where to look for her. When he passed the computer room, he decided to go in.

Terezi wasn’t there, but another gray troll was, angrily pounding down on the keyboard as he worked on some code trailing down a blue screen. He halted as Dave arrived and looked over his shoulder, short-tempered as usual.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT.”

“Relax. I was just trying to find Terezi.”

“WELL SHE’S OBVIOUSLY NOT HERE SO YOU CAN JUST LEAVE THE FUCK BACK OUT.”

“Why? Doing something private? You know if you’re going to wank to troll porn you should choose a more secluded spot to do it in.”

“IT’S NOT FUCKING TROLL PORN YOU IGNORANT NUBSACK. IT’S OBVIOUSLY CODE.”

“You write codes? Heavy shit dude. Didn’t know you were a hacker and stuff.”

“OH GO ON, LAUGH AT THE TROLL WHO’S SUCH A SHITTY HACKER HE CAN’T EVEN WRITE A PROPER CODE. COMPARE HIM TO HIS BEST FRIEND WHO’S THE BEST FUCKING HACKER IN EXISTENCE WHEN THIS GUY IS SO ABSOLUTELY MISERABLE HE CAN’T EVEN PROGRAM HIS COMPUTER BACK INTO OPERATING MODE. HAHA, WE’RE SO FUNNY NOW.”

“I wasn’t even going there, but man, you can’t even program a computer to run right? You really are kind of shitty.”

Karkat glared at him. “FUCK OFF.” He turned back to his monitor, pecking away.

Dave didn’t “fuck off”. Instead he stayed right where he was. In fact, he soon got even closer, standing behind Karkat to look over his shoulder at the screen. It was a mix of numbers, symbols and that weird Alternian language he couldn’t read. It lit up the screen as it filled it, Karkat’s fingers flying across the keys. Surprisingly his nails were sharp, even sharper than Terezi’s. Dave wondered how the hell he even typed with those.

Karkat’s lip twitched, reacting to his presence. Dave smirked and leaned into his ear. “Sure that’s not porn? You’re pretty into it. You could be writing shitty fanfiction for all I know and I wouldn’t be able to read it, and you’re just sitting here thinking about how much you’d like some gyrating phallus all up in your face right now. In fact, you could be writing about one of us, is that what you do in your spare time, just compose perverted prose about your bumbuds—”

Karkat spun so smoothly he was like a kaleidoscope on speed. But he wasn’t as fast as Bro or even as fast as Gamzee, so his hand snatched up thin air as Dave took a swift step back, arms folded, still with an obnoxious smirk on his face. And it drove Karkat mad.

“CAN’T A GUY HAVE SOME PEACE WITHOUT BEING HARASSED BY SOME BUZZING HOOFFLY THAT JUST CAN’T SHUT ITS MOUTHTRAP. I’M DOING ACTUAL IMPORTANT AND SERIOUS SHIT HERE THAT I WAS ACCOMPLISHING BEFORE YOU CAME GALLAVANTING IN. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? PRAISE FOR BEING SO COCKY, A KISS ON THE FACESPONGE FOR EFFORTS, BOWING DOWN TO THE GROUND IN AWE OF YOUR SUPPOSED COOL THAT YOU JUST CAN’T SEEM TO HELP BUT FLAUNT WHILE I DROOL AND STARE UP AT YOU JUST WAITING FOR THE ALMIGHTLY DAVE STRIDER TO COME AND SET ME FREE. BECAUSE YOU’RE A DISGUSTING, FUCKING SAP AND I COULD THINK OF A MILLION OTHER THINGS THAT I’D RATHER DO, LIKE SHOVE ALL OF SOLLUX’S BEES INTO MY MOUTH AT ONCE AND PRAY THAT I FUCK OFF AND DIE. BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE MORE ENTERTAINING THAN PLAYING BUTTBOY TO YOUR BRILLIANTLY LAME EPITOME OF COOL RIGHT NOW.”

“…I just tuned out half of what you said.”

Karkat glared and pounded his hand down, unfortunately right onto the keyboard. It let out a dying squeal and the entire screen turned to blue. “FUCK FUCK NO.” Karkat tried to recover it but it completely faded this time, collapsing into black. “DAMMIT.”

“Well there goes your important business.”

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT.”

Dave chuckled. “You were the one who slammed your fist down. I’m pretty sure it’s all you here.”

Karkat returned back to the computer, typing on it and pressing buttons. Dave shook his head, leaning against the wall as he watched.

“What the hell are you doing here anyway? This is your important shit? Shouldn’t you be striding around the meteor, ready to smack some bitches into order and kick some ass? I mean what happened to Mr. Badass Troll Leader who always tried to troll us the hardest and didn’t take shit from anyone even when they thought his memos were the stupidest things ever and tried to undermine him at every step? You still pulled their asses back into order when it mattered and you were totally the rock on this ship. Half the reason the trolls remained together is because of you, or so I’m told from Terezi. What the fuck are you doing now?”

Karkat paused at that, still staring at the computer screen like he wanted it to melt on command, but no longer typing like a rabid banshee. He scowled. “IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, HALF OF MY “TEAM” IS DEAD, TWO OF THE REMAINING MEMBERS AREN’T EVEN HERE RIGHT NOW, AND THE OTHER FOUR ARE EITHER ENTIRELY SCREWED UP OR, FUCK, I DON’T EVEN KNOW. I COULDN’T KEEP MY TEAM TOGETHER OR GET THEM INTO GEAR WHEN IT REALLY MATTERED. WE’RE GONE. DONE FOR. I’M NOT CUT OUT TO BE LEADER. THE END. SO HAVE FUN, YOU AND MISS LIGHT GOD, RULING OVER HUMANS AND TROLLS ALIKE. HOPE IT TICKLES YOUR BULGE AT NIGHT.”

“You’re so fucking pathetic. So what if your team’s half-dead and the rest of em are fucked up. That shit wasn’t your fault. Widespread insanity and mutilation, yeah I’m pretty sure no one could’ve stopped that shit in time. But you survived. You’re here, and you got some of em out. You should be out there taking charge and trying to figure out how to end Jack’s charcoal ass rather than moping around in here trying to fix a dead computer no one gives a care about anymore anyway.”

Karkat fingers started pounded away on the computer again. Its light flickered and its monitor cut on. He typed more code into it, jaw set, not responding.

“Whatever. Just sit here wading around in your wank-pity pool if you want, hiding from everyone but your crazy ass moirail. I’ll go and find someone who actually has balls. Like Terezi. Peace.”

Dave left, hearing a pause as Karkat’s fingers stilled on the keyboard. He thought he felt eyes turn around and look after him as he left, but he didn’t turn back to check. He didn’t even know why he was so pissed. He just… was. Maybe it was that they were both Knights, and thus felt a similar obligation to protect their fellow players. Karkat failed at that, yeah, but then he turned into a wallowing ball of self-pity afterwards and it was just gross. Disgusting. Betrayal to their class. Made Dave’s insides churn.

Whatever. He wasn’t gonna sweat it. He continued exploring the meteor.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He eventually found Terezi on the outside of the meteor, the platform where they’d landed and met the trolls for the first time, and where he strifed with his alternate self the other morning. She was sitting down, eyes focused towards a space in front of her, cane laid over her knees in silence. She didn’t stir when Dave walked up behind her, so he took a seat next to her, letting out a huff of air. A speck of dried blue was still on the floor in front of them. He stared at it.

“How fucked up are we?”

Terezi turned her head his way. “WH4T DO YOU M34N?”

“Everyone. I don’t even mean since we got on this meteor. Just period. Seems like this game was devised just to fuck us over. From the deaths of all of your lusus-guardians and all our folks and friends dying over and over again. And then those of us left are just full of problems, you know? I feel like whatever deity designed this game just made it to fuck with us. To put us on his little chess board and finger all the pieces inappropriately and nibble on our heads then set us back and pretend like we’re supposed to play exactly like we should have before. And we can’t.”

“HMM.”

“I wish I knew more answers. Like my Bro. He’d know what to do about it and if he didn’t he’d slice some bitches until he figured it out. But he’s gone now. And I feel like such a goddamned runny-nosed teenager sometimes. Like how are we supposed to do shit when we don’t even know what the hell it is we’re doing in the first place. And why the hell am I even saying this.”

Terezi laid her head on his arm. It was a warm presence. “W3 4LL M3SS3D UP. BUT 1T W4S FOR 4 R34SON, 4LL OF 1T. DONT FORG3T TH4T. 1 TH1NK W3R3 ST1LL ON TH3 P4THS W3R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3 ON, 3V3N 1F 1T F33LS STR4NG3 R1GHT NOW. …4T L34ST TH4TS WH4T 1 H4V3 TO T3LL MYS3LF.”

“Do you regret it sometimes? Killing her?”

“OF COURS3. SH3 W4S MY… W3LL 1 H4T3D H3R BUT SH3 W4S MY 3X-S1ST3R, 4LMOST. OUR FL4RP1NG D4YS W3R3 ST1LL SOM3 OF TH3 B3ST T1M3S OF MY L1F3, D3SP1T3 TH3 CR4ZY TH1NGS TH4T H4PP3N3D. MOSTLY B3C4US3 OF H3R. …ST1LL 1 DONT R3GR3T 1T, THOUGH. W3 BOTH KN3W 1T H4D TO B3 DON3. TH3R3 W4S NO OTH3R CHO1C3. SH3 M4D3 1T NO OTH3R CHO1C3.”

Dave stared off into the space in front of him as he felt Terezi shift on his arm. Then something wet ran up his cheek. He jerked away. She giggled. “TH4T W4S FOR YOU TO R3L4X.”

“How is a tongue licking my face gonna make me relax?”

She gave him a look. “YOU WONT B3COM3 L1K3 H1M, YOU KNOW.”

“Like who?”

“1 KNOW H1S SC3NT. YOU SM3LL L1K3 4NG3R. H3 H4S H4D SOM3 PROBL3MS BUT H3 W1LL R3COV3R. H3 1S STRONG 4ND H3 1S OUR L34D3R. 4S 4R3 YOU.”

She winks at him. Dave wanted to protest, to continue the conversation and say no, he really wasn’t that strong, and he had dreams some nights that totally proved that, but he didn’t feel like it. Already he felt slightly better, even though he couldn’t exactly peg down what had been bothering him. Maybe he’d just needed to unload it on someone. Huh, funny how that works. His brain turned back to the reason why he’d searched her out in the first place.

“I was trying to write a letter to John and I couldn’t make it work. Thought maybe I could spit some rhymes with you, see if I could get my lyrics working again.”

She beamed, perking up into her usual self again. “1 DONT TH1NK YOULL B3 4BL3 TO H4NDL3 TH3S3 RHYM3S D4V3. 1V3 B33N PR4CT1C1NG. 1M MOR3 TH4N R34DY TO H4NDL3 YOU.”

“Oh yeah? Well let’s go. I’m the lonely pin up here waiting for the last strike of the 12-pounder that’s rolling down for a second round, hoping I don’t get KO’d. Stop keeping me in suspense and just hit me or go home. I hope you’re ready for some serious shit to go down.”

She ran her tongue over her teeth in response. She started.

And they proceeded to have a rapoff of epic proportions, complete with terrible lyrics and over-confident snarks about how shitty they were thrown in everywhere. And it was awesome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uploading a new chapter for you before I go on a trip. I should be sleeping since I need to get up in about 4 hours. Ha, who needs sleep, right? Enjoy. Weird things are happening. -Zade

**_Chapter 4_ **

The scream ricocheted through him. He tried to move, but he couldn’t. Couldn’t even lift a finger or move a hair. He was trapped, temporally and physically, and all he could do was watch. Jack lifted the flat of the sword another time and WHAP. Slammed the already broken body of his Bro back to the ground, where Davesprite already lay next to him, sliced open, gone. A trail of blood crept out from the newly inflicted welt on Bro’s face, joining the many others that marred it. It wouldn’t have time to bruise. He’d be dead by then.

Dave rammed his body against the invisible shield again, but it wouldn’t go. Fuck this. Fuck this entire thing. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. None of it.

And part of him knew that none of it had gone this way. Not in its original form. But that didn’t help him break out of it and it still didn’t stop.

He gritted his teeth, leaning against the press of the barrier, staring at the scene helplessly. Fuck, man, Striders didn’t cry. They didn’t. But his eyes still grew hot and hazy as the beating continued, more blood flecked across the scene, Bro becoming weaker and weaker, unable to flash step because Jack was always a step ahead, unable to stand up because his bones were being ground into the platform, unable to fight back because his sword had been taken away, almost slicing his hand off in the process. And still it continued.

It took so long that Dave started to will it to happen. Die, he encouraged Bro. Just die already. Why the hell aren’t you just passing out right now? Do it.

And then Bro’s eyes locked on his, shades flung off sometime during the miserable excuse for a fight. And he gave a small smile.

Dave pounded on the barrier again then, but darkness washed over Bro, obscuring the sight. The darkness came closer, a sheath of shadow in the grim air. A hand broke through the barrier, approaching his face, skimming its claws over his jaw, his mouth, his cheeks, his eyes. It ripped.

This time it was his scream that pierced the air.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave’s eyes shot open with the silent scream locked in his throat. He swallowed, blinking down panic as he tried to remember where he was. Right, he was in his room, no wait, this looked wrong. This wasn’t his room. And there was heat at his side. And a hand… FUCK. NO.

He shot up, snatching the hand by the wrist, but it did nothing more than fall limply as its owner continued to sleep. Apparently Terezi was a deep sleeper, or maybe she was just really comfortable with him there, because she didn’t even stir.

Now he remembered. After their rap-off they’d gone back to her lair after sneaking back to the kitchen to get more pies and they retreated here to silently lie on a pile together, staring up at the ceiling. He guessed they both fell asleep after that.

Dave looked down at his clothes and grimaced at the suit that was now crumpled. He didn’t really care, but there wasn’t really an iron here and it’d look stupid to walk around with a wrinkled suit. He’d either need to toss it or turn it into material for more amusing constructions. He captchalogued it, changing into more casual clothes. Then he silently exited, heading for the outdoor platform.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The other Dave let out a short grunt as his air was cut short by current Dave’s elbow, pressing into his gut. As Dave moved to swing his sword to the finishing blow the other Dave flash-stepped. Dave felt a pointed blade at the base of his own neck instead, pressing in until drops of blood fell. He scowled.

Latching onto a backup puppet strife specibi he’d installed shortly after arriving here, he tossed a few smuppets Future Dave’s way. Naturally, as his worst childhood enemies came alive to haunt him once more, the other Dave faltered, and Dave used the moment against him, butting his head back and grabbing hold of his shirt, flipping him down in front of him. Future Dave banged on the ground, bringing up his sword in a swift parry as Dave attacked. He blocked. The clashing impact slid their swords out of their hands, scattering to opposite ends of the platform. But at this point, he knew they wouldn’t need them.

They engaged in a tumbling wrestle match, aiming for each other’s dirty spots, and pinning the other down, almost winning only to get bested again. They were almost equally matched. Almost. Except current Dave was determined not to lose. He was tired of losing.

When he got Future Dave into a headlock, he choked him to the point of asphyxiation, and just when the other Dave was getting weak, he let off to pound him. He slammed his jaw into the floor, punching his face until it was on the verge of turning purple and blue, scratched and bit and cut past any actual sense of purpose.

When he stood up, the other Dave was lying on the floor behind his foot, shaking, features marred by blood, eyes sweeping towards—

_Bro’s eyes locked on his as he gave a small smile…_

“NO!” Dave spoke his rage aloud, bringing a fist down to Future Dave’s eye. “NO.” He broke other Dave’s nose, then went to work on his face more. Something crunched beneath his knuckles that wasn’t supposed to. He now realized long moans of pain were coming from his other self, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. And when the other Dave finally stopped moving, stopped jerking, he delivered the final blow, slicing the sword neatly across his neck.

When he stepped back, looking over the scene in front of him, he felt his stomach heave. Shit, this was so… Everything was wrong about this.

He turned to his side and vomited until there was nothing more left, just bile and an emptiness that ran through his stomach into his inner core.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He walked through the hallways without caring about the route. Eventually his feet led him back to his rooms, where he could shower off the blood and vomit. He wondered who would clean up the dead Dave. Maybe Gamzee would take it for his head collection and make out with it or something.

Before he reached his door, he heard voices, getting louder and louder as the seconds passed on. He couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. Rather than heading inside, he slid up to the corner and peeked his head around. Nothing. The voices had disappeared, their owners apparently gone.

Weird. Who was having an argument this early in the morning/night/time of sleep that both the trolls and humans had adapted to indulging in since there really was no basis for time in this meteor anymore. The sun never set; it was always just as bright outside during their waking hours as during their sleeping ones. And inside there was no sunlight, simply the shitty breaker lights that kept cutting off randomly. So technically everyone slept whenever they wanted, but more or less they’d developed a schedule that matched with the others’ schedules. It made it easier to communicate and interact. Still though, it was strange to see anyone up during this time. It had become sort of an unspoken rule that this was sleeping time and everything else was fair game for whatever.

Dave shrugged it off. He had more important things to worry about than whose teenage issues were popping up. Like the fact that he was starting to stink like week-old fishsticks left under a tanning lamp and his skin was beginning to get caked with dried blood and gore. Time to scrub.

xXxXxXxXxXx

When Dave went to the kitchen to snag a piece of pie for breakfast, he found almost a fourth of the pies missing. Someone must have been starving in their sleep. Good thing he didn’t have a hankering for cherry. He took a few slices of grape and slid onto the counter, tapping his fingers to a beat that started in his head. Okay, so the day started off a bit rough, but after the shower and then this piece of pie again, it was turning out to be pretty magnificent again. Last night he found himself writing a new rap to send to John and today he’d probably complete it. No need to worry about anything. Today would probably be a good day after all.

When he left the kitchen, he heard voices. Not arguing mutters this time but a lot of them conversing at once. He headed towards the sound. He found himself poking his head into an open room, where everyone was gathered around in a haphazard circle. Even WV was there, standing at the head of it.

When Dave poked his head in, Rose paused in her current speech, as if she’d been expecting him. She beckoned.

“WH3R3 W3R3 YOU? 1 THOUGHT YOU D1S4PP34R3D ON M3 COOLK1D. 1 COULDNT F1ND YOU.”

“Sorry, had some things to do.”

He entered the room and sat down. “So what’s up?”

Rose turned back to the room. Dave was amused to note that her neck had what looked like two faint puncture marks on it. Interesting.

“Welcome. I was introducing WV to the inhabitants of this meteor and vice versa. I thought that we should all have a formal setting in which we got to know him.”

“DO YOU WANT A STANDING OVATION OR SOMETHING? I WAS PERSONALLY FINE NOT KNOWING ANYONE AT ALL.”

“Simply because you don’t approve of the idea doesn’t mean that it still isn’t a good one, Karkat.”

“KaRkAt,” Gamzee spoke, complete lack of intonation in his voice. Karkat turned to glare at him. It lasted a bit too long and looked a bit too virulent. Gamzee narrowed his eyes in return. Come to think of it, why were they on opposite ends of the room? They had been almost inseparable since he arrived there.

Rose continued on, “Is there anything you would like to say, WV?” She turned to the Dersian as he surveyed them all. He still looked rather lost in Dave’s opinion, and suspicious of everything. His orb-eyes narrowed when he met Dave’s. Dave smiled at him.

“I have nothing to say,” WV replied. “It is nice to make your acquaintances. Most of you. I have already made the acquaintance of one and he is not the most pleasant person, though these two ladies seem lovely.” He gestured to Rose and Kanaya, who looked flattered.

“Don’t pretend that you didn’t enjoy our conversation. I found it as enthralling as a four-headed fire-spewing kitten flipping a double-ollie off Mt. Everest, myself.”

“That is a silly analogy and I will not address it. Besides, why would a cat play with fire?” WV replied, addressing it anyway.

“Because it’s fire-spewing. It spits out flames like it’s thirsting for water and never heard of the word no.”

WV frowned, trying to map this out in his head.

“IGNORE HIM. HE’S PRACTICED IN BEING THE DUMBEST FUCK OF THE UNIVERSE.”

“Sorry. Was only following your example, Karkat,” Dave replied. Terezi hid a smirk beside him. Karkat couldn’t help but open his mouth again.

“AND YOUR COMPLETE IGNORANT LACK OF UNDERSTANDING CAUSED YOU TO FAIL MISERABLY, AS EXPECTED.”

“Or maybe it was just your Mom’s undershorts.”

“MY WHAT.”

Terezi was now snickering. Gamzee stared at them below lowered eyelids.

“I mean your Mom couldn’t actually wear panties. Her ass is way too fat. She’s like eight times the size of the biggest elephant. I mean you couldn’t even get her to fit in this room. She’d have to be sky-lifted in and dropped like a fucking bomb.”

“I DONT EVEN HAVE A “MOTHER” YOU NUMBNOOK, WHY DON’T YOU LOOK IN AN ENCYCLOPEDIA OF ALTERNIA FOR ONCE INSTEAD OF RELYING ON YOUR MINUSCULE THINKPAN. OH WAIT. YOU PROBABLY COULDN’T EVEN RECOGNIZE IT IF YOU HAD IT FOUR NUBS-LENGTH IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.”

“Why? So I could see more trolls who looked like you? No thanks. I see enough of you already.”

Terezi couldn’t stop laughing. Kanaya was watching the two of them like a ping-pong match. Karkat was getting more riled up, his face turning a slight shade of pink as he opened his mouth to reply. Rose cleared her throat, interrupting. “While all this is fascinating, I suggest that we please get back on subject or I fear that we’ll never leave this room.”

“They Seem To Be Enjoying Themselves.”

“Please don’t say that you’re going to join in the fickle debate as well.”

“I Simply Find It Amusing, Yes.”

Karkat gave Kanaya a gruff look. She shot him an affectionate one in return.

“WV is now nearly fully healed. As such he’ll be living with and among us. Please make him as welcome as possible and try not to alienate him with jokes of bad taste.” She looked at Dave then. Dave made a gesture of tipping the brim of his invisible hat.

“Is That The End Of The Meeting?”

“Yes.”

“I Think I Will Return To My Gardening Then. Anyone Is Welcome To Join Me.”

She stood and headed out the door. Karkat picked himself up from the floor to follow behind her. Gamzee stared at his moirail as he went. He picked himself up from the floor slowly, heading out a different direction. Rose grabbed hold of his wrist before he left, muttering in his ear. He paused.

WV slipped out the room, probably to explore the meteor more.

“SO 1 GU3SS 1TS JUST US NOW.”

“Guess so.” He looked back at Terezi’s grinning face. “What do you have planned?”

“4 V3RY SP3CT4CUL4R 3V3NT. YOULL 3NJOY 1T.”

“Just one moment, Dave. I want to speak with you.”

“Sup?”

“In private, if you please.” Rose beckoned to him, before leaving the room. He told Terezi that he’d meet up with her afterwards and then followed. He saw Terezi slide over to lick Gamzee’s ear before he left. He guessed it was her way of cheering him up.

He exited.

xXxXxXxXxXx

“Are you alright?”

They were sitting on the ledge of one of the long rows of stairs. Dave stared at the drop below. It was ridiculously long. At least they could fly.

“Where’d that train come from?” he replied to her. “Just barreled out from the middle of fuck-knows-where and crashed into some unsuspecting passengers at ninety miles an hour.”

“Well you look like shit, pardon the expression, and your demeanor indicates there’s something else consuming your thoughts.”

“I thought I was perfectly invested in that whole meeting, but thanks for commenting on my listening skills.”

“I’m not talking about the meeting, Dave.” She paused. “I found the dead Dave. I cleaned it up before the others saw. If I hadn’t been absolutely certain that you were still alive for the fact that you continue to exist in the future, I would have thought that I fucked up miserably and someone was killing again.”

“You think anyone could’ve killed me but me, really?”

“There’s that too. What happened?”

“I sometimes practice with my blade in the mornings. I guess I got a little enthusiastic.”

“A little enthusiastic would describe a man that wants to buy a piece of meat at the market buying an entire cow. You went ahead and slaughtered that cow, its entire herd and all embryonic calves along with it.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Rose.”

“I think you need to.”

“Just lay off, alright?”

“I don’t want to see any more dead brothers, Dave. Even if I knew it wasn’t true, it was still… difficult to see that. I thought I had lost another member of my family, yet again.”

Shit. Sometimes Dave forgot that his actions impacted others too. He stared down at the abyss below their feet again. “Yeah, well you won’t, okay?”

“I think you need to tell someone. If not me, then why not Terezi? You two seem close.”

“I’m fine, alright. I’m handling this like two flaming saucers in the middle of a tightrope. I know all the moves, dips, dives and tricks to uphold it. Don’t worry. Speaking of Terezi, I need to find her before she thinks I abandoned her again.” He stood up.

“I sincerely hope that you can keep carrying those saucers, because one false step will bring them down and we’ll all be showered in the flames, Dave.”

“I never take false steps, Lalonde. But if I do, I’ll serve as fire extinguisher and blast out all my wicked flames before they even singe. I promise.”

“You’d better. If I find more dead versions of you or some other equally destructive habit, I will come and alleviate the problem myself, understand?”

“Understood like an S.O.S. I hear you loud and clear.” He stood up. “Oh yeah, and watch out for that clown kid. He was off-kilter today. I think he and his moirail had an argument or something.”

“That’s why I suggested that we bake more pies after this. I’m not entirely behind on matters.”

“Someone ate like half of em. So you’re gonna need to bake a lot more.”

“Thanks for the tip. Now run off to your friend.”

“Thanks for the talk. Later.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

The very spectacular event he walked into was a very spectacular event indeed. A movie night. Made even better by the fact that it wasn’t Con-Air for the 272-billionth time or another one of Nic Cage’s _indisputably legendary_ films that made Dave’s skin itch from staring at his sweaty, hairy chest for 2 entire hours.

This was a heartwarming Alternian tale about two kids who get caught up on the wrong side of the tracks and using their wits, brawn and several well-placed sticky maneuvers, push their way out again, finding self-respect and love along the way. No seriously, that was the title.

They watched it on Terezi’s computer, complete with the smears from her licks that gave her a better impression of the film. They jumped at sudden impacts and explosions that seemed a bit too close to home, laughed (or in his case, smirked) at the humor, grew appropriately solemn at the darker parts. At one point, he noticed Terezi’s head turned more towards him than the film, her nose pointed in the air, taking in his scent more than the movie’s, if she ever really was at all.

He flipped his eyes back to the screen and pretended not to notice.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The next few days went by like a sluggish turtle in a race for a piece of cheese. Right after they were let out from the gates, the turtles ran and crashed into each other. They smelled the treat but couldn’t quite dig their way out from their shells long enough to crawl to it. Then there were the few turtles who just seemed like the brightest of them all, making a straight dash for it. And there were hands that hovered above them, masterminds, rubbing their fingers together as bets were cast and flung around like daggers, not even caring who got in their way.

Dave wished he could say that he was one of the bright turtles in the race, but so far he was turning out to be a sluggish one. There was a haze in his head everywhere he moved and he just went along with the flow. Rose seemed to just float above it. She’d straight up be the hand in the scenario, just watching and waiting as all of them crashed around like fucking idiots. And Terezi wasn’t far behind her. Nothing seemed to faze the troll. She seemed even happier, actually.

As far as the days’ events, Rose and Gamzee were starting to cook together regularly. And they needed to, as the pies disappeared pretty shortly after they were put out. Dave was responsible for some of them, but there were still a large amount that was unaccounted for with only 7 people on the rock. The two started baking pretty much after they woke up until midday, and then Rose sat back to write in her journals again and Gamzee painted or rapped or did whatever clowns did when they weren’t stoned out of their minds anymore and needed something other than murdering to kill the time. He actually wasn’t as creepy with her. In fact he downright avoided Dave these days—turning his eyes away whenever he looked at him, ignoring him when they were in the same room together. Dave didn’t get what that was about. It was as strange as the way he and Karkat were acting around each other.

Kanaya wasn’t around as much either, not in the kitchens anyway. There’d been a mini-incident the day after WV’s introduction, when she came back and found a third of her garden eaten and nearly had another chainsaw fit. She simmered down after Rose did some shoosh-papping of her own and discovered that the matriorb was safe and untouched. But now she spent more of her time monitoring her garden and WV by consequence, since he seemed entranced by it.

Karkat seemed to lurk around her as well. Though every time that Dave happened to pass his way now, his eyes caught on Dave’s like they’d lit fire. Maybe something had awakened in him in that meeting. Dave somehow felt satisfied by it.

As for himself, he didn’t have much time to spare either. Between sleeping, eating, working on a few rhymes and then getting dragged off by Terezi to go exploring or roleplaying—okay so yes she’d gotten him to roleplay a few times and it wasn’t as bad as he thought but he’d never admit that except under ironic pretense—he really didn’t have much time. Sleeping was still mostly nightmares. Tonight he’d had a dream about the same hand from before.

It slashed and slashed, ripping him to pieces and just when he regenerated, it did it again. It wasn’t even a good sword, just the shitty 2D sword he’d alchemized forever ago and it swung again and again and he couldn’t even avoid it. Pathetic. What was even more pathetic, perhaps, was that the black hand that used to be Noir’s molded into a human one, and then turned into his Bro. And suddenly he and his Bro were strifing again, not the haha-youre-toast-and-you-need-to-learn-to-fight-better-or-have-your-ass-whooped puppet attacks of his youth, but something more vehement, that just blamed him for everything. For fucking up everything. The orange irises of his Bro looked dead as he continued to attack. Dave aimed for his heart; it was time to put him out of his misery for good—but then his sword just passed through him and he caught hold of Dave’s neck, choking him, strangling him. Then he slashed through his jugular again.

Over and over again it went on until Dave woke up, sheets strangling him as he struggled to kick out of them, body drenched in sweat.

This was getting stupid.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave padded once past Rose’s door and then turned around and did it again. He kept pacing. What the fuck are you doing? he chided himself. Just man the fuck up and get your ass back in bed. You know that shit isn’t real anyway.

But it felt… he shivered as he remembered the feeling of that hand on him, and his Bro’s fingers as they choked his neck. Yeah, it didn’t matter if it was fake or not. It felt real as hell.

He knocked on Rose’s door—and it opened immediately as Kanaya came striding out. She looked as shocked as Dave did upon seeing her, though he quickly threw on his poker face. No time to be unrattled here.

But instead of saying anything she simply brushed past him, striding down the hall. What happened? He peeked inside Rose’s room, where she sat on the bed, looking up at him. She looked tired, frustrated. And it wasn’t simply from bad dreams or no sleep.

“Yes?”

“Didn’t know if you were awake or not.”

“Well I am. You don’t have to stand out in the hallway. You can enter.”

Dave entered and sat on the bed next to her. They were silent for a few moments. “So, written anything I can read yet?”

She smirked. “I thought you didn’t like my gay wizard slash?”

“Well I mean in usual cases it’s not my reading of choice, but with no cyberblogs out here or ironic comics to choose from, it’s the most quality thing going. We’re all itching to read it, Rose.”

“Maybe I’ll show you an excerpt.”

“Sweet deal.”

“What about you? Are your rhymes finally flowing?”

“Got them worked out like cherry sauce. Me and Terezi spent all night just playing around with it.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yeah.”

They were silent again. Dave stared at the walls, looking around the room. It was really the first time he’d seen her room since he’d been there. It was decked out pretty nice. Not too different from her old bedroom, actually. She’d knitted a bunch of stuff as decorations. And there was another tentacle-monster—sorry he meant a squid princess (when did she make that thing again?)—on her bed.

Rose kicked her feet in front of her. “Was there something you wanted specifically?”

“Nah, I just… wanted to stop by.” Obviously a lie. Who the fuck stops by in the middle of their sleeping period? But what else was he gonna say, Yeah, I was haunted by some nightmares of my Bro and I scared the shit out of myself so I came to you for your psychoanalysis thing. And what the fuck just happened between you and the vamp-girl? Trouble in cupid-land? And speaking of that, something’s going on with Terezi and I don’t really know what it is. If you could help me settle that, that’d be all and good right now.

Yeah. Nevermind, no. He wasn’t gonna go there.

“You can sleep here tonight if you want. No need to go all the way back to your room.” His room was like four feet away and they both knew it. But he appreciated the offer.

“Guess I’ll crash on your floor then and set up a shitty pile of puppets.”

Rose smiled at him. “You’re welcome to. Goodnight then.”

“Night.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

His sleep was restless and dreamless and when he snuck out of Rose’s room that morning, he knew that she probably didn’t get much more sleep last night than him. But he pretended that he believed she was asleep anyway and crept out the room without sound.

He skipped the swordfighting this morning, heading straight for the shower. And when he came out he sipped some apple juice while composing some beats. He didn’t know what the trolls listened to around here, but whatever it was it couldn’t be as good as what he put out. And they really needed some good background music. So he was making a few tracks to pass around. Then he left and went for some breakfast pie. But when he entered the kitchen he found a catastrophe.

Pie was splattered across the walls, crust stuck to corners, multi-colored filling bleeding down the walls. Slops of pie spilled across the floor, hands had spread it across the tabletops, it dangled from the ceiling on fishhooks. The first thought that popped into Dave’s brain was: So that was where all the pie went. And second: What a waste of good pie.

Pinned to the middle of the table, with a knitting needle stuck in it like a dagger, was a note. “MEETING. NOW. CIRCLE ROOM.”

Seems like Rose was pissed.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The Circle Room turned out to be the same place where the meeting was held last time, and it was quite aptly Dave now saw, in a circle. Good for meetings.

This meeting wasn’t the mostly cheery, laidback one of before. Rose stood at the head of it, watching them with hawk-like eyes as they entered, gesturing toward chairs around the circle, silently indicating that they had no choice in the matter. Gamzee stood by her side, but he didn’t seem overly distressed by the pies. He seemed more tired than anything, like he pretty much wanted to sneak off and take another nap. Kanaya was the last to sit.

“I’m certain that by now you’ve all seen that most unfortunate display of debauchery in the kitchen. Of course, at least one of you didn’t have to see it, because you were the purveyor of it. I suggest that you turn yourself in now and I might consider leniency.”

Silence. A few people fidgeted.

“Is tHaT ReAlLy aLl uP AnD NeCeSsArY? iT WaS A ReAlLy hArMlEsS MoThErFuCkInG JoKe.”

“I don’t appreciate being played with. Especially not with my own creations.”

“And Harmless Jokes Or Other Such Intentions Can Be Inciting Events, Don’t You Agree?” Kanaya added, looking straight at Rose.

Rose didn’t respond. She turned away to survey the rest of the circle. No one was budging. Terezi looked excited. Karkat, a mixture of boredom and irritation. WV looked confused. He was probably wondering why anyone would massacre a bunch of good pies. Good question, man, good question.

Rose dug into her pocket, pulling out a white ball. “I wanted to give you an opportunity to turn yourself over, but I suppose we’ll have to do this the hard way. This ball tells nothing but the absolute truth of any question I ask of it. All I have to do is see.” She raised it up to eye-level, narrowing her eyes as she started to look in.

Terezi’s cane banged on the floor rather loudly as she stood up. The eyes of the room flocked to her like magnets. She crossed the room and swiftly placed a hand over the ball, blocking Rose’s view.

“NO. 1 H4V3 4 PROPOS1T1ON.”

“Go on.”

“L3TS DO TH1S TH3 OLD F4SH1ON3D W4Y. THOROUGH 1NV3ST1G4T1ON 4ND QU3ST1ON1NG 4ND PUN1SHM3NT 3X4CT3D BY M4RT14L L4W. 1TLL B3 4 LOT MOR3 FUN.”

Rose frowned at her. Terezi grinned back.

“This way is much quicker.”

“BUT F4R L3SS 3NT3RT41N1NG. 4ND W3 H4V3 THR33 Y34RS TOG3TH3R, 4 LOT OF T1M3. W3 SHOULD H4V3 SOM3 3NT3RT4INM3NT.”

Rose looked at her for a bit longer. She nodded. “Alright. Fine. _To the entertainment_.” She slipped the ball back into her pocket.

Terezi’s spun on the room. Her grin turned murderous. “4R3 YOU R34DY, MOTH3RFUCK3RS?”

Dave loved her then.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Terezi questioned everyone as far as their stories during the sleep period. Of course every one of them had alibis. She even questioned Rose and Gamzee, though they were the piemakers themselves, just to collect facts. And then she ran back to the “crime scene” as she was now calling it, to get evidence. Everyone else pretty much peeled out of the room. Gamzee looked like he was going off to find a place to take a good nap.

Dave crossed the room to Rose. “Any plans on where you’re gonna write now?”

“Probably in Kanaya’s garden. It’s a quiet place, for the most part.”

“Not with WV there.”

“I might have ways of kicking him out.” She was trying to sound like her calm, rational self, but her anger was slipping out from under the edges.

“You know Terezi’s going to have a field day with this. This is exactly her thing.”

“I know. That’s why I think she’d be good at it.”

“Judgment Day’s gonna come up swift and hard on this guy. Or girl. Like a pony that just reared up and didn’t just buck its rider off and stomp on their legs, it bit their fucking neck off.”

Rose gave a small grin. “Sounds like a suitable punishment, crossed with a special Lalonde serving of whooping a-la-mode.”

A shadow hovered over them. Dave looked up. Karkat stood above them, glowering as usual with crossed arms.

“I know I smell hella awesome and everything, but you don’t have to lean so close to get a whiff. There’s a thing called personal space.”

Karkat glared at him. He turned away, facing Rose. “I’VE BEEN THINKING.”

“This is a first.”

“SHUT UP DAVE.”

“About what, Karkat?” Rose replied, eyes roaming over him in a way that sized him up from head to toe.

“I’M NOT YOUR PIE MASSACRIST, ROSE, SO YOU CAN STOP STARING.” He took a breath. “I THINK I WANT TO BE LEADER AGAIN.”

Dave snickered, eliciting another glare from Karkat. Rose cocked her head. “Great, I’m glad to hear it. But leader was never a thing that was revoked from you, Karkat. You can resume your role at any time.”

“Think you can handle the pressure, grey man?” Dave added.

“I WAS BORN HANDLING THE PRESSURE LONG BEFORE YOU EVEN CAME INTO EXISTENCE AND FELL INTO YOUR WORLD ON THAT SILLY PINK HOOFBEAST, STRIDER. THE PRESSURE IS MY EGG AND I’M THE WINGED FEATHER BEAST WHO COMMANDS IT. IT CAN’T EVEN HATCH WITHOUT MY GO. SO YES. IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION. I CAN WITHOUT DOUBT AND YOU CAN RECORD THIS FOR ALL THE UNIVERSE TO KNOW IF YOU WANT, THAT I, KARKAT VANTAS, CAN HANDLE. THE FUCKING. PRESSURE.”

“Glad to know you’re back,” Dave replied. There was no bite to his words. Karkat seemed slightly taken aback by it, but then recovered, replying in turn.

“AS IF I COULD’VE STAYED AWAY.”

Rose stood up. “I’m going to disappear now and possibly find a certain blind investigating troll along the way. Bye, boys. Don’t eat each other alive.”

“Is that even a thing that’s possible.”

“Here I thought you made the impossible possible.” Rose smiled and left.

Karkat turned to him. “SO. YOU’RE GOING TO EAT YOUR WORDS, _COOLKID_.”

“Which ones. I say a lot all the time, dude.”

“THAT I’M PATHETIC.”

“Did I hurt your feelings?”

“JUST KNOW.”

“I’m excited. I feel tingles in my waist.”

“WRONG PLACE TO FEEL TINGLES, SHITSACK . IT SHOULD BE IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR PAN, BECAUSE THAT’S WHERE I’M INSPIRING FEAR RIGHT NOW.”

“Oh was that fear? I thought it was just a warm wash of a joke.”

Karkat’s finger shot forward and pressed itself hard into Dave’s forehead. Dave fingers fell onto his sword in turn. They stared off for a second, before Karkat drew back.

“LATER, ASSWIPE.”

“Bring it. You might wanna pack a spare pair of panties for when you get your ass served. Cold and hard.”

One last glare and Karkat absconded. Dave stood for a few seconds more, looking at the empty space before him, and turned to find his own exit to his room.

And then something knocked him abruptly unconscious.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter. Sorry that it took so long! This one is actually much longer than the others. I debated on splitting it in two, but I think that I'll just give you a very long chapter. Thanks for the comments and kudos again. I appreciate you reading it.
> 
> In response to Lacertae, I did originally have this planned for 7 chapters (and then I split one of the chapters up) but some of the events that are happening now weren't originally in the outline for this story, so I don't know how long it'll be. It may still be 8 chapters or it may be slightly longer. Depends on how quickly or slowly things are wrapped up and develop.
> 
> -Zade

**_Chapter 5_ **

Dave’s eyes popped open. A face swarmed in his eyesight, half-fuzzy with glowing light behind it, as its blue lips spread into a smile. He yanked his sword out from his sylladex and took an automatic swing. The face danced away, lithe as a fairy. What the.

His brain finally started to catch up with his eyes and he started to make sense of what he was seeing. It was bright daylight, and yes, there was an actual sun. His sun. Like the one that was part of their actual universe. Beneath him was a manicured green lawn in a residential neighborhood with rows of identical houses and trees and cars and things that were perfect, an almost sickening level of perfection. He’d never seen the place but he already knew. He was in front of John’s house.

Floating above him was a blue and orange specter, an amused smile still on her lips. She turned her head and called behind her, laughing. “I never thought I’d agree, 8ut you were tooooooootally right! He is different in the flesh!”

A head poked its way out from the corner of the house, crazy black hair with huge rimmed glasses on his face. Holy shit, Dave would know even the outline of that face anywhere. He stared. “I’m just surprised that you _could_ actually do it. This is really cool, Vrisk! And I’ve never seen him in person before. I told you that.”

“I warned you a million times. It’s your fault if you didn’t 8elieve me, silly Pupa. 8esides all the silly details and miniscule technicalities there’s still the fact that you were right. I think I owe you a c8ke.”

“Now this I’m excited to see.”

“I have 8aking skills too. You’re not the only special one. In fact, you m8y 8e jealous at what turns out.”

“Since when have you two been getting your mack on without telling me?” Dave jumped up to his feet, finally recovered from the blank-faced staring that was hopefully obscured by his shades, and now looking at them with his trademark cool-guy face on. But really what was running through his head was “it’s John it’s freakin JOHN” and “where the hell did I store that rap again?”

“No one is getting their mack on, Dave. Gog, is that all you think about.”

“With you, you kinda have to. Apparently you turned into babe magnet when I was gone.” Still searching. Search turned up fruitless so far. “And you’re the spider-troll in livi—in the flesh?”

“Mindf8ng. It’s a pleasure, D8ve.”

“I know your real name is Vriska. Terezi’s my patron troll, remember?”

Vriska’s expression was one of twinkling amusement. Of course she knew. She was competing with Terezi the whole time through him and John, and making everyone’s lives miserable in the meantime. And the way she was staring at him now, like he was an insect caught in her carefully crafted web, made him think she and Terezi weren’t so different after all. Back on the topic of John, he’d found the rap. He pulled it from his sylladex.

“Terezi?” John cut in. “She’s the one who killed me! You can’t listen to her, Dave. She’s dangerous. And um yeah… you were right.”

Dave paused for a moment, deciphering those words. Terezi killed him? But that was a thing that didn’t actually happen which he made certain of when he came back as Davesprite to prevent that being a thing that happened. And if this John was still talking about Terezi killing him—Dave looked at him, really looked at him for the first time. His eyes were pure white. And his outfit… he was still wearing that stupid blue suit sans wings. And his expression was totally serious. Fuck, how’d he not see it before. This wasn’t the right John. It was just like all his other doomed Daves, a dead copy of the real alpha self.

Dave’s shoulders slumped. Seriously, he’d finally entered a dream bubble and this wasn’t even the right motherfucking John. This was just irony done in all the wrong ways.

Vriska’s eyes latched onto the paper in his hand. “What’s that?”

“Nothing. You never even saw it,” he tried to captchalogue it quickly, but John—wrong!John—saw it first, and being a John he had something to say about it.

“Nope. You can’t hide anything from me, Dave! Besides, whatever you must want to hide must be good, eh?” A gust of wind suddenly swooped between his fingers and picked the scrap of paper away, tossing it into the air.

“John, come on, you fucking bastard.” He wasn’t in the mood.

Wrong!John just laughed, tossing the paper up higher. It swirled and circled and dropped only to be caught on a gust of wind heading in another direction. This was getting really annoying. But Dave suddenly remembered. He could fly now.

Just as his feet left the ground, the blue girl zoomed up and stole the letter out of the air, flying away with it. “Hey, mine!” John said, rising into the air after her.

“Finders c8tchers!”

A gust of wind tried to sweep her out the air. She fended it off with a gust of—mind power?—and flitted away, crinkling open the paper as she went. “ _8lue oracles keep talking 8out the times, looking at the p8per for signs of the skies, diamond visions are spinning past my head, of rose and j8de and some of you and i_ … What is this? A love letter? A confessional rap to your 8est friend, John?”

Dave scowled, but before he could do anything, the wind whipped the rap away from Vriska’s fingers in her distraction and put it in John’s hand. Wrong!John. Ugh, this was ridiculous. And irritating.

“… _makes me wonder just who else there might be, your dad, jades gramps, thatd be a real sight to see…_ ” John read over a random part. His eyes skimmed over the rest of the page, then flicked up. “You wrote this for me?”

“No. I made it for the other John. Real John.”

“He is a real John too,” Vriska put in.

“Of course you’d think that. You’re stuck with him.”

“Nice, Dave,” John said, glaring at him.

“Whatever, it’s totally true. You don’t even know half the shit that went down cause you’re just a failed copy that went down with the ship a few hours in.”

“I do know! Vrisk updated me on it.”

“Still doesn’t matter. You didn’t experience it, dude. It’s not you.” And with that Dave jumped time and stole his letter back, safely captchaloguing it once more. When he returned John was staring at his empty hand. Dave turned to the blue and orange girl. “Now can you send me back?”

“Why should I?” Vriska grinned at him.

“Wow. Look who became a major asshole, Dave,” John chimed in, staring at him now. “Is that a thing that happens in the future too?”

“Guess you can tell for yourself,” Dave replied, not taking his eyes away from Vriska. He could feel John’s glare but he didn’t care. He had a bit of a staring contest with Vriska, her white eyes on his shaded ones. He silently ordered her to return him now and she silently refused. Finally, she reached a hand in her pocket, pulling out a die. With a flick of her hand, she rolled it towards him, floating on the bursts of wind that were still peeling out from John. It rolled straight to his sneaker and stopped.

“What does it s8y?”

“What do I care. It’s your die.”

“Let’s m8ke it fun. If it landed on a 6, 2 or 4 it’s your lucky d8y. I’ll send you 8ack. If it landed on a 1, 3 or 5… we’ll strife for the chance.”

“This is the dumbest shit ever.”

“PICK IT UP. I’ve alw8ys wanted to fight another godtier.”

Dave picked it up, staring at it for a second. “It’s a two.”

“A wh8t?”

“A two.”

The wind shifted. Dave looked up. A robotic arm slammed into him. He brought his own arm up to defend himself, but he could still feel the muted blow to his neck and his forearm rang with the impact. Fuck.

He went spinning and flew back around, whipping out his sword and cutting through the air at Vriska’s head. She flitted away, avoiding the blow and took out two more dice, flipping them up in the air. “The luck is on me, gru8maggot!!!!!!!!”

It barely registered in his ears that John was yelling something. He couldn’t hear him anyway. He charged again and swung.

Vriska deflected with what seemed like barely any effort and slammed a kick into his gut. Oof. That hurt. He backed away, trying to recover, but she sped after him like a woman bred on the wind. She slashed her claws at his face. He gripped her hand, aiming a kick to her stomach in return. She floated over it and raised another hand to yank at his hair. He punched her. This time he got her squarely in the face. She stared at him with something raw that twisted into a look of pleasure. Bring it, blue bitch.

A gust of wind shoved them apart, blowing them onto opposite ends of the yard. They glared at each other, Vriska’s hand on her face, Dave lightly holding—not cradling never cradling—his stomach. John rose up between them, glaring at each one in turn. “What the hell are you two doing? Vriska, send him back already.”

“Why? It was just starting to 8e fun.”

“I don’t want him here anymore! So put him to sleep or wake him up or whatever. Please.” He crossed his arms, floating back to the ground. Dave felt a slight pang of guilt in his chest, but whatever, the damage was done. And he’d only said the truth. That guy really wasn’t the real John. He was a fucking mistake.

“You gonna follow the orders of your new general?” Dave quipped at Vriska.

“Mindf8ng doesn’t have a general. She’s her own person and m8kes her own rules to pl8y.” Her eyes trailed over the ground, where John had disappeared inside the house, and back to him. “Send Redglare my regards. I prettied you up for her.” She winked and stretched out a palm.

Next thing Dave knew, he was waking up.

xXxXxXxXxXx

And buried under a shit-ton of paper. Was he still in a dream bubble? But no, as he sat up, he realized that this wasn’t a dream bubble at all, as much as he now wished it was. It was just him and layers of paper encasing his every limb, caressing him like some confused scarlet woman that had come to the wrong room at the wrong time trying to seduce the wrong guy in all the wrong ways. He needed roses and she was giving him the full hot wax and cuffs treatment.  Dave ripped himself free of all the paper mache, spitting the last pieces out of his mouth, and a big fat blob of paint fell splat onto his face. To say he wasn’t pleased would be like calling Cthulhu a goldfish. He sat up straight.

The walls around him were covered in paint, chalk and diagrams, full of colorful roads and planets and a myriad of creatures depicted in their depths. As the artist tossed his brush back, kneeling before a wall, paint went flying and smacked into Dave’s cheek once more.

“Think you could try to control the happy endings a little more?”

WV jumped, turning around, his face quickly turning to disappointment as he surveyed Dave. “You didn’t sleep for long. I was hoping to build this new town on top of your crunchy bones.”

“Fat chance. Even if I died I think I’d rise again just to see this.” Dave looked around. WV seemed torn between shooing him away and waiting on edge as Dave surveyed the room. He took a step back and clutched his brush.

The walls were covered with representations of what looked like Skaia, Prospit, Derse and the four planets Dave, Rose, John and Jade had landed on. There was also the Green Sun and the new session they were traveling towards, with a tiny depiction of their meteor. Scattered across the floor were cans painted with representations of each of the six kids on the meteor, complete with painted sharp teeth and paper horns for the trolls and painted sunglasses and a headband for him and Rose. Well, Dave guessed he finally saw what Can Town was now. A new sash was still lying on the ground, wet with paint, “MAYOR” slashed across it.

“It’s not a tour point.”

“Never said it was. You do chalk and then paint details over it?”

“The first one I did entirely in chalk.”

“What’s this one? ‘Can Town Resurrected’?”

“Paint Town.”

“It has some cans though.”

“It’s not the same.” WV still sounded defensive. Dave chuckled.

“Chill dude. It’s kinda cool.”

WV’s eyes widened in surprise, then quickly narrowed in suspicion. Dave looked over the room further. It was interesting. The details actually weren’t much better than an SBAHJ comic or the shopped pictures he and Terezi always sent each other, but somehow the atmosphere of the room was fun, interesting, calming. It took the edge off his shoulders from remembering that failure of a dream bubble meet up and other…past recent events. Then Dave noticed that WV was speaking again.

“…Thank you.”

“Next time just try not to make me a part of the display. Smothered by fucking paper streamers wouldn’t look too good for my godtier status.”

“I’ll try and keep that in mind, Knight.”

“Closest you got to my name yet.”

“Don’t push it, human.”

WV returned to finishing his sash. Dave gave him a backhanded wave as he strode out.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Terezi had him amidst another set of diagrams and chalk drawings, papers spread out with timelines, theories, and data collected. Dave’s mind was spinning.

“4R3 YOU L1ST3N1NG?”

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m totally listening.”

Terezi leaned in, the pointed angle of her frames almost scraping his cheek until he leaned back. “YOUR3 D1STR4CT3D.”

“I’m not.” He was. The ghost pains from his fight with Vriska were finally starting to appear. He didn’t know if that was a part of her powers or his subconscious filling in for what he thought should be there. He’d checked himself after leaving Can Town Number 2—sorry, Paint Town—and couldn’t see any visible bruises or scratches or anything, but now the ache in his neck was starting to return, and as he put an arm up to rub it his forearm twinged. “There’s a raging lack of evidence and the kitchen took a hell of the time to clean up. Also you’re frustrated that you haven’t thought of a way to catch the crook yet. I really don’t even know why you’re stressing over it, Tz. It was a joke.”

She ignored him, leaning back to study the charts chalked onto the wall. “W3LL 1 D1D CONCLUD3 TH4T JUDG1NG FROM TH3 4NGL3 4T WH1CH TH3 P13S W3R3 THROWN, 1T W4S MOST L1K3LY DON3 4T R4NDOM. NOT 4 H1DD3N M3SS4G3 OR 4NYTH1NG L3FT TO D3COD3, MOST L1K3LY DON3 FOR TH3 THR1LLS 4ND 4MUS3M3NT—“

“Again. It was probably a joke.”

 “—OR P3RH4PS DON3 1N 4 P3RSON4L GRUDG3 4G41NST ROS3 OR G4MZ33.”

Dave frowned, thinking of the most recent arguments. “There are two people who currently fit that description, at least.”

“HMM.”

Terezi shuffled her papers, tapping the head of the scalemate in her lap as she thought. Dave looked over the list on the wall. Names of all the people on the meteor, possible suspects. Rose’s and Gamzee’s were put there as a formality. “Why am I not up there, again?”

“YOU W3R3 W1TH M3 MOST OF TH3 T1M3.”

“I wasn’t with you last night. Or that morning, when the pies were found.”

“ROS3 S41D TH4T YOU W3R3 TH3R3 4LL N1GHT, UNL3SS SH3 H4S R34SON TO L13 4ND YOU H4V3 R34SON TO SCURRY 4ROUND W1TH MOT1V3 4G41NST H3R. 1S TH3R3 SOM3TH1NG YOUR3 NOT T3LL1NG M3?”

Terezi leaned in, sniffing him. Dave leaned away. “You know there isn’t.” He put a hand to her nose, pushing her away. She giggled and licked his palm. He shuddered for her benefit, but really, he was getting used to it. She cocked an eyebrow since she knew it too. Then they were immersed in darkness.

“Ugh, this is like the tenth time since I’ve been here. Really.” A flicker, then the lights returned. Terezi stared at him.

“WH4T?”

“The lights. Didn’t you just see that?”

“… T3CHN1C4LLY 1 C4NT S33 4NYTH1NG D4V3. 1M BL1ND.”

“Oh. I mean. Yeah. I know.” Stupid comment. “There are blackouts, sometimes. The lights cut off and no one can see anything, not even a hand in front of their face. I know you guys are nocturnal and everything but don’t you need some source of light to see? I think you guys are in pitch blackness too.”

“….”

“Terezi?”

“1M TH1NK1NG.”

“Of what?”

“TH4TS 1NT3R3ST1NG. 1 WOND3R 1F… M4YB3 W3 C4N US3 1T.”

“How?”

“TO C4TCH TH3 CR1M1N4L.”

“How?”

“1F W3 C4N F1ND 4 W4Y TO M4K3 1T TH3 P3RF3CT T1M3 FOR 4 CR1M1N4L 4CT, M4YB3 TH3 SUSP3CT W1LL COM3 FORW4RD 4ND R3V34L TH3MS3LF.”

“How the heck would we control the blackouts though? They happen randomly.”

“W3 CR34T3 4 S1TU4T1ON TH4T PR3S3NTS PR1ME OPPORTUN1TY 4ND W41T FOR TH3M TO STR1K3. TH3R3 M4Y B3 4 P4TT3RN TO TH3 BL4CKOUTS TH4T W3 C4N W41T 4ND MON1TOR FOR. OR M4YB3 W3 C4N CR34T3 ON3.”

“What. We just set a pie in the middle of the hall and wait for the person to bite? Who says that they’d even be into pies anymore. I mean they know you’re hunting them like a cheetah thirsting for a limping baby antelope; they’re not gonna show themselves now.”

“NOT P13 N3C3SS4R1LY BUT SOM3TH1NG L1K3 1T. 1 DONT TH1NK P13 M4TT3RS 4NYMOR3. TH3Y W4NT 4TT3NT1ON 4ND TO C4US3 DR4M4. 4NYTH1NG TH4T F1TS TH3 PURPOS3 W1LL DO.”

“Right. So like we set up something that’s irresistible and stake out the time, and then when they jump we snatch it from right under them.”

“PR3C1S3LY.” She grinned. “4R3 YOU 4LMOST DON3 W1TH YOUR N3W M1X?”

“Just putting them all together and slapping on a killer title.”

“1 KNOW WH3R3 W3 C4N 41R 1T TH3N. L3TS H4V3 4 D4NC3.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

They huddled on Terezi’s laptop to put a memo up on her R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTYTOWN Board, alerting everyone of the dance. “4ND 1TS GO1NG TO B3 TH3 COOL3ST BLOOD-PUSH1NG TH1NG TH1S M3T3OR H4S S33N Y3T, HOST3D BY YOURS TRULY, R3DGL4R3 4ND COOLK1D.”

“Do we really want to say that.”

“SHUT UP 1M TYP1NG. 4LSO, D4T3S 4R3 M4ND4TORY.”

“There’s 7 people here now. Someone’s gonna be left out.”

“TH3Y COULD JUST COM3 4S 4 THR33SOM3.”

Dave added a .gif of a kid popping a cool skateboard move at the end of it, and drew in a grinning Geromy. It suited it. 8^y

After that, they scoped out the boards. Turned out that Karkat had posted a new memo on his own, basically alerting the others that he was officially leader again. Of course it got interrupted by his future self arguing with him. They read it for the laffs. Finally Dave stood up, stretching. His aches were really starting to get to him. Next time he saw Vriska he was definitely gonna pay her back, using a few dirty time moves of his own.

He left Terezi to the rest of her planning, going off to finish that mixtape.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The water pounded down on his shoulders like a hot salving rain, washing away the aches and pangs and worries he knew would return as soon as he stepped his foot out of the shower, but for now were quite magnificently gone. He washed his hair and scrubbed off, giving himself some added relief below the waist as well. He cut off the shower when he was done, drying off. He stepped out and wiped a hand over the mirror, striking a stupidly cocky pose that no one but him would ever see the light of day of—and was that a hair on his chin?—then he slipped on his shades. Ready.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He went up to the platform as usual to practice and found an unwelcome distraction. The ball of black and grey movement that paused in mid-swing apparently thought the same thing, because it froze, eyes locked on his, before baring its teeth.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE.”

“I should be asking you that. You’re in my space.” Dave put down his sword and started to stretch.

“IT’S PUBLIC SPACE IN CASE YOU WEREN’T AWARE.”

“Guess you’ll have to put out a memo. Seeing as you’re leader now. Speaking of, nice one, by the way.”

Karkat glared, teeth showing again, then he turned away, obviously choosing to ignore Dave. He returned to his sickle practice. Dave ignored him in return, continuing to stretch. He had hoped to have some peace and quiet and time with himself, or maybe several of himselves, but he could see that wasn’t to be this morning. Karkat’s motions weren’t loud, but they were flashy and distracting. And though he moved with the ease of long practice, treating the sickle as if it were an attachment to his arm, he was obviously angry at something. Or more angry than usual, anyway. It showed in his movements. It was almost distracting enough to make Dave just ask what was wrong so the troll wouldn’t ruin both their practice sessions, but he desisted, figuring if Karkat wanted to talk about it he’d definitely find a way.

He removed a sword from his strife specibi and began practice of his own. Quick, light movements, adapted from his Bro and perfected during their strifes. Flash-steps, spins and dodges, always looking for an opening and a way to out-maneuver the enemy. Of course it pretty much did jack shit for actually winning fights against his Bro, who was always a few extra steps and dirty tricks ahead of him, but it developed his style well. He didn’t jump time today—that’d just be too many people crammed into this small sparring platform at the moment—so he just focused on his own attacks, parries and blocks and pretended like he didn’t see Karkat’s occasional glances over his way.

It was when he was finally done, wiping sweat off his brow and reaching a hand out for a bottle of water in his sylladex, that the attack came. The sickle came straight down on him and he narrowly avoided it, rolling to the side in a flash. The water bottle took the brunt, slashing open and splurting water everywhere, but before Dave could respond to its loss Karkat was moving again. This time the edge of his sickle met Dave’s sword. Dave rose as he blocked, pushing Karkat back. The other troll slid back a few feet before spinning forward and meeting Dave with a kick. Dave blocked with his arm—his still sore forearm, _ow_ —and elbowed him away.

“If you wanted to fight you only had to say so. I would’ve gladly obliged in kicking your ass.”

“WHO’S KICKING WHOSE ASS, STRIDER?”

The sickle came into his peripheral again and Dave flash-stepped, though some of his cape was cut off in the process. Why the fuck did he think that wearing his god-tier outfit to spar would be a good idea? This was stupid.

His sword came down on Karkat’s back and though the troll dropped and rolled, his blade still hit some part of him because it came away with a bit of the candy-red blood he was so ashamed of.

“What are you so pissed about?”

“YOU. YOU’RE THE ABSOLUTE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE AND IF YOU WEREN’T HERE, YOU SLIMY PIECE OF SHIT, MY LIFE WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER RIGHT NOW.”

“Whoa, let’s not skip the vows and jump straight into the marriage, what did I do to make you jump from “I’ll show you I’m not pathetic” to “I wanna cut your fucking face off”?”

The sickle came for him again and Dave twisted and knocked it away, then Karkat’s claws were on him, scratching down his arm, while the troll tried to knee him in the gut. Dave dodged and leapt back, but his arm was starting to show blood. He brought his sword up and lunged, whapping Karkat in the stomach, then he hit him on the neck with the blunt end of it. Karkat fell. Dave switched his grip to attack again, but Karkat stayed there, kneeling, glaring at the ground beneath his knees. Dave paused.

“FUCK YOU. JUST FUCK YOU.” Karkat’s breathing was heavy. He kneeled, panting, glaring at the ground.

“Happy to oblige but tell me what I did first.”

Karkat was silent, catching his breath. When it finally resumed a normal rhythm he put his head in his hands and let out a long growl that echoed through the platform. Dave sat down beside him tentatively, ready to react if Karkat decided to attack again, but apparently the troll decided that was over since he just sat there. Finally he spoke.

“GAMZEE, MY FUCKING IDIOT OF A MOIRAIL.”

“You and him had an argument, right?”

“WE DIDN’T JUST HAVE AN ARGUMENT, YOU BULGEMUNCHING PEON, WE HAD A FIGHT THAT SPANNED THE GALAXY. WE’RE LIKE SOME STARLIT PAIRING THAT FIGHTS OVER SOME SMALL RIDICULOUS THING AND COMES TO STEAL EACH OTHER’S HORN AND ROMANCE FILM COLLECTIONS AND RANTING ABOUT EACH OTHER TO ALL OUR FAMOUS FRIENDS. AND THEN NEXT THING YOU KNOW WHEN WE NEXT SEE EACH OTHER WE’RE SCREECHING AND CLAWING AND BREAKING EACH OTHERS HORNS OFF. AND IT ALL SPIRALED DOWN FROM THAT ONE THING. THAT IS THE TRUE SCOPE OF OUR “ARGUMENT”. YOU, IN THIS SCENARIO, HAPPEN TO BE THE LITTLE DIAMOND THAT CAUSED US TO FIGHT IN THE FIRST PLACE, WITH YOUR STUPID CRACK IN IT THAT JUST HAD TO BE THERE THAT THE OTHER PERSON JUST HAD TO NOTICE THAT JUST HAD TO BE BROUGHT UP IN THE OTHER PERSON’S FACE.”

“So how did I cause this argument of the apocalypse then?”

Karkat sighed, scowling. “GAMZEE THINKS THAT I’M COMPETING WITH HIM, TRYING TO TAKE YOU FROM HIM, AS RIDICULOUS AS THAT IS AND AS MUCH AS I’VE TOLD HIM THAT I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO FEELINGS LIKE THAT TOWARDS YOU. AND SERIOUSLY, IN THE SAME FUCKING QUADRANT? IS HE ABSOLUTELY INSANE? THAT’D BE LIKE SPELLING DEATH TOWARD YOUR MOIRALLEGIANCE FOR THE FIRST THING, TO GO AFTER THE SAME PERSON FOR THE SAME CALIGINOUS QUADRANT, AND SECOND OF ALL, IT JUST ISN’T HAPPENING.”

“So like, this,” Dave gestured between them and the bleeding wounds that were starting to show from both, “right now, technically isn’t helping your case?”

Karkat growled again, echoing once more through the space around them. Dave couldn’t help it. He started to laugh. Or maybe it was a little bit too cruel of a laugh, more a snicker. Karkat stared at him.

“ARE YOU SERIOUSLY LAUGHING RIGHT NOW?”

“Do you want me to talk to him? I’ve already told him once that I’m not interested. I could do it again.”

“THAT DOESN’T MATTER. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHETHER YOU’RE INTERESTED OR NOT. IT MATTERS WHETHER IM “STEALING” YOU OR NOT. WHICH I’M NOT, BY THE WAY. THAT IS ABSOLUTELY TOTALLY NOT WHAT IS HAPPENING OR WILL BE HAPPENING IN THE FUTURE. AND BESIDES, IF I CAN’T TALK TO MY MOIRAIL AND PLACATE HIM MYSELF THEN WHAT IS THE USE OF BEING MOIRAILS?”

“You have a point. That would be kind of ironic.”

“DON’T LAUGH AGAIN.”

“Sorry.”

“LOOK, IT’S JUST A STUPID PROBLEM I HAVE. I’LL FIX IT.”

“You feel better now after talking about it?”

“AS WEIRD AS IT WAS TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOU… I GUESS SO.”

“Look, when you get things sorted out with your mate, let’s do this again.” Dave gestured between them.

“DID YOU NOT HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID?”

“Of course I heard you. Gamzee’s jealous for no reason at all, both you and I know that, so when it dies down we need to do this again. You have to admit, it was fun. I’m tired of fighting with only myself as a partner. I mean I’m amazing and all but there’s only so much you can do when you know all the moves of your opponent too, you know. And you look like you need some mandated stress relief.”

“I’LL THINK ABOUT IT.”

Dave stood up, collecting his sword on the ground and captchaloguing it again while Karkat did the same with his sickle. Before he left, Dave nudged Karkat’s shoulder, giving him a sunglasses salute. Karkat frowned but nodded. Dave absconded.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The dozen other Daves trucked around, lugging stuff to and fro, erecting pillars and streamers from the ceiling. One lounged against the wall, almost asleep, before he was hit on the head by another one. He glared, getting back to work.

Dave looked around at the room. It was coming together for the dance. Orbs hung from the ceilings, piles of streamers ready to hang along the walls, currently out of the way from the paint that was splattering everywhere as several of the Daves painted the walls. It was going to be an underwater floral ball, or something like that. He had originally proposed an apocalyptic outer-space setting where they all came dressed as teen superheroes. Technically they could even come in their own clothes and still fit the theme. Terezi shot it down, saying it was too BOR1111NG and she wanted a chance to dress up and play fancy. So Dave told her about the lame dance settings they used to have back on Earth, underwater themes and pretend balls and such; she loved it. She ran with the idea that they could come as pretend-seadwellers, though Dave was more of the opinion that mermaids were a more suitable option, and now a variety of seadwellers, mermaids and other sea creatures were being painted on the walls. A frog popped out from one of the panels.

Dave picked up a bucket of seaweed, carrying it towards Terezi, who was trailing her fingers over the beginnings of a rise in the pretend-sea-bottom. “TH1S N33DS MOR3 R3D.”

“Will this do?”

Terezi leaned towards the offered piece of seaweed and sniffed. She scrunched up her nose. “TH4T SM3LLS T3RR1BL3.”

“The more the merrier then.” He dropped a bunch of seaweed on top of the fake sand, spreading it out. “You steal all this from WV?”

“JUST TH3 P41NT. 1 TOLD H1M 1T W4S OF UTMOST 1MPORT4NC3 TO TH3 1NV3ST1G4T1ON 4ND UPHOLD1NG TH3 FUTUR3 P34C3 OF TH1S M3T3OR.”

“What’d he say?”

“H3 THR3W 4 F1T 4ND K3PT Y3LL1NG 4ND W4V1NG H1S 4RMS. SO 1 G4V3 H1M 4 BUNCH OF GR33N CH4LK. H3 S33MS TO L1K3 1T.”

Dave smirked at the mental image.

“ROS3 4ND 1 4R3 ST1LL WORK1NG OUT 4 W4Y TO M1M1C 4 BL4CKOUT 4ND CR34T3 TH3 MOST FORTU1TOUS C1RCUMST4NC3S FOR 4NY D3L1NQU3NT 3V3NT TO OCCUR. 4ND SH3S GO1NG TO M4K3 4 LOT OF C4K3. 1 TH1NK TH1S 1S GO1NG TO WORK. WHO C4N R3S1ST “PR4NK1NG” 4 BUNCH OF P3OPL3 CONT41N3D 1N ON3 ROOM 4ND DR3SS3D UP FOR FUN?”

Dave admitted that she did have a point. She looked at him now with an expression so fierce and determined it reminded him of a leader to go out to battlefield. Like Rose when they went to put The Tumor in the Green Sun. Or how his brother must’ve looked fighting Jack, knowing that he probably wouldn’t win the battle…

Dave realized that he’d paused in what he was doing. He shook his head, returning to molding the sea-floor. They put another layer down. Distraction. Train of thought change. So he said the first thing he thought of, something he’d been wondering a while.

“Why’d you and Karkat break up?” Or ever get together, actually, but that was another thing entirely.

Terezi paused, looking up at him. “WHY?”

“Curiosity. Never understood how you two got together in the first place, but I still can’t see any reason why you’d break up, if you’re into that.”

Terezi ran a hand through her hair, before laughing. It didn’t sound like her normal laughs, more strained. “W3 W3R3 N3V3R R34LLY TOG3TH3R, HON3STLY. JUST TWO K1DS WHO HUNG OUT 4 LOT 4ND M4Y H4V3 H4D SOM3 F33L1NGS FOR 34CH OTH3R.” She laughed again. “W3 COULDNT 3V3N D3C1D3 WH4T QU4DR4NT 1T W4S.” A pause, as her hands swept over the floor again, feeling out the current progress. “W3 N3V3R R34LLY BROK3 UP. W3 JUST GR3W UP 4ND GR3W 4P4RT.”

“You’d never get back with him?”

“W1TH K4RK4T? NO W4Y. 1 TH1NK H3S 4 GR34T L34D3R BUT H3S 4 BOMB W41T1NG TO GO OFF. FUN FOR T34S1NG 4ND OCC4S1ON4L CONV3RS4T1ON BUT NOWH3R3 N34R WH3R3 W3 W3R3 B3FOR3.”

“Hmm.”

“WHYD YOU 4SK?”

“Just curious. He is our “new leader” and all just wondered if there were any huge weaknesses we could exploit from him.”

Terezi smirked and flicked some paint at him. Some got on his glasses. Oh, it was on now. You do not mess with the Strider lenses. He grabbed a nearby can of paint.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Things happened quickly. An excerpt of Rose’s novel came out, as loquacious and unnecessarily detailed as usual, to total Rose-style perfection.

“ _After a scourge of battle over what felt like a thousand centuries, The Complacency looked among themselves, recounting who was left. Executus had a wound upon the summit of his sternum, but otherwise looked quite alert and cognizant, despite the red liquid coating his attire. Smarny was not as well. For a fellow as cheerful and jocular as he was, he currently looked like he was on the edge of collapse, a wound decorating his forehead. Frigglish would hazard a supposition that the injury was deeper than it appeared._

_He went to venture over, but a fellow brother had already sped over to the scene. It was a good thing too, because as he moved he discovered he couldn’t really depart anywhere. His leg had been pierced by a sharp scimitar and with the realization that he’d been stabbed, agony flared into his senses once more. He bent over to apply pressure, sucking in air through his aged teeth, easy with the few missing from past decay and battle. He steadied his wand and aimed it at the jagged cleft peeking through his pants, a healing spell rolling off his tongue._

_A howl sounded through the air. Frigglish and his other eleven contemporaries—they were all still alive, somehow—looked up to see Zazzerpan on the mount, staring off into the direction that their foes had fled. His eyes were fierce, his hair tossed about by the harlequin wind like incandescent, igneous flames. They were going after them._

_The incessant timepiece ticked at the crook of Frigglish’s neck, marking down the seconds until their enemies were repaid._ ”

Dave made a short rap to go with it too. Just thought he’d show her some brotherly support.

“ _got these 12 wizards standing round like the legion of doom  
_ _thought you could top them? yo ass is gone be consumed  
_ _they got funny pointy hats and clocks, wands in their holsters_  
but come up on em and their strengths suddenly bolstered

_with a story that easily passes 50,000 words_  
rosell captivate you once you enter her new world  
shes got that super-lengthy style that you can get lost in  
youll be trekking through castles like “captain arent we there yet?” 

_but anyway now that rose is giving me the evil eye  
its really great and you should read it okay, thats my advice_ ”

 

xXxXxXxXxXx

WV was expanding Can Town. He was reluctant at first, but eventually gave in to burgeoning curiosity, giving everyone a firsthand tour. They romped in his land of cans, flags and canvases, taking on random roles of civilian, peacekeeper and villain as they went. Gamzee took on the role of hero, chasing Dave—current villain—around, while Karkat as vice-mayor yapped about the travesty of it all and WV moaned about the destruction of his city. Dave thought WV was secretly pleased that they were enjoying themselves, but Rose and Kanaya went over to soothe him anyway and Terezi just grinned at the entire thing, re-hoisting her belt as she prepared to step into the fray wielding her cane like a baton.

Kanaya approached him shortly after that, asking about passive-aggressive conflicts and how to best proceed in one.

“You’re asking me? I’m the blunt one. Me and my Bro just used to solve our arguments by fighting and making traps for each other.”

“But You Still Know More About The Concept Than I Do.”

“I guess it’s kinda… doing stuff that you know will tick the other person off, while pretending not to. Or just subtly arguing with them while being totally friendly on the surface? Something like that.”

“Aha. So Like When I Found My Garden Full Of Books On The Topic Of Self-Actualization And The Path To Forgiveness. That Was A Perfect Example Of This, Right?”

“Wait, when- Oh shit, she found out, didn’t she? I told you she would.”

“My Issues Regarding Gamzee Werent Quite Resolved As Soon As I Expected I Will Admit. And It Became A Bit Hard To Hide It.”

Dave let out a long and hard laugh. Kanaya let him, her mind obviously churning along a new path.

“I Think I Know How To Proceed. Thank You.”

“You could just talk to her.”

“No. I Want To Do Things Her Way. Its More Fun.” Kanaya smiled as she turned away.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Following this, new plants soon popped up in the kitchen, tall ones with long, spindly arms that grew at a ridiculous pace, ruining Rose’s writing space forever. Rose sent gifts to Kanaya in return, knitted wizards and grub-princesses to “flavor up” the garden, the gaudiest objects you ever saw. But Kanaya kept them there just as she kept the books there and pretended to be appeased. Finally, during another one of their meetings, the jade troll appeared, bearing new attire.

“I Thought That This Would Be Appropriate For The Theme. I Eyed Most Of Your Proportions But I Think They Should Fit Very Adequately.”

“WHY CAN’T WE JUST COME IN OUR NORMAL CLOTHES? OR MAKE SOME OURSELVES?”

“Because You Cannot Show Up In A Sweatshirt and Pants For A Dance Karkat.”

“I have a suit,” Dave cut in.

“But Do You Have One Like This?” Kanaya held up something that was a mixture of red and orange and blue, flaps on the tail of the jacket, shoulders that were studded, with his trademark turntables on the inside cuffs and the breast pocket. It was strange and weird and so blaringly out there that it actually almost reached ironic levels of cool. It was a lot better than any of the suits he currently had.

“Alright, so that’s kinda fucking amazing and you’ve just painted my face strawberry red with pleasure.”

Kanaya grinned. “Im Happy You Approve.” She handed outfits out to the others, who seemed to still try to pretend like they didn’t need them but were secretly flattered by the results. Even WV got one, a full mayor’s tux and hood. He sputtered so much that he couldn’t even speak.

“Rose. Sorry I Dont Have Anything For You. Youre Quite Fashionable On Your Own Dont You Think?”

Rose paused for a second, the only response to the slight that she showed, then she shrugged. “You’re right. I’m certain that I’ll be able to pull something together before the dance. In fact I’m already thinking of it.”

She gave a small smile to Kanaya and swept out of the room. Dave wondered if he should follow her, but then Terezi showed up in his vision, spinning in her new dress. “DO 1 LOOK M4GN1F1C3NT OR WH4T? W4RN1NG TH3R3S ONLY ON3 CORR3CT 4NSW3R.”

Dave offered her a hand. “Only if I can get this dance, lovely lady.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Terezi and Dave finally finished the construction and planning and decorating for the event, and he figured out how to wire up his sound system without outlets or any visible source of power (it took Terezi and Rose both to come up with a way to manipulate the Green Sun’s rays) and then everything was set.

The final result was a room crafted to look like a mix of Alternian and Earthen culture, complete with mermaids and fish and frogs and salamanders popping out from the walls. The dance floor was crafted like the sea floor, pieces of what they remembered from cultural lore and brief glimpses on a random Discovery Channel piece. Turned out that the Alternian sea floor and Earthen sea floor were kinda different, too. They didn’t have shrimp or crabs or snails or anything and the only seahorses Terezi had heard about were flying in the sky. She added a dark space in the corner too, with extended plush tentacles, since she swore they HAD to have a Gl'bgolyb, which seemed to be a giant squid monster on Alternia bent on destroying everything and Dave wondered why they’d even want that at the dance, but he went with it.

Finally everything was set. They surveyed their work, satisfied, and went to get ready.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Terezi smoothed out the fins on his head, pressing down at their base one more time. “TH3R3 NOW 1T SHOULD ST1CK.” She smoothed out his collar, then ran her hands over his face one more time, making sure everything was in place. “NOW YOU LOOK PR3TTY H4NDSOM3. FOR 4 NON-GR3Y S34-DW3LL3R.”

“You mean not like a spindly kid in a weird suit with fake fins attached to his ears?”

“S33 FOR YOURS3LF.”

She grabbed a mirror and put it in front of his face, grinning in the reflection behind him. He looked himself over with a discerning eye. She did a pretty good job. Her own fins were already attached, painted on gills at the sides of her neck, showing over the V-drop that was the start of her teal dress, cinching in to fit her waist before fanning out at the bottom, resembling fins. His eyes returned to her reflected face.

“I’ve been wondering. Weird question here. But do you like me?”

“WH4T.” Her face turned a faint blue in the mirror and she pulled it away, standing back. He turned to face her.

“Sometimes I get this feeling you might. Like you wanna be the going out to movies, feeding each other popcorn, calling each other nicknames, wearing a white dress and having kids one day kinda friends. Do you _like_ -like me?”

“1 DONT… NO. NOT 1N _TH4T_ W4Y.”

“Wait what does that mean? You do?”

“TH1S 1S 4 R34LLY S1LLY CONV3RS4T1ON D4V3. 3SP3C14LLY R1GHT NOW. W3 H4V3 4 D4NC3 TO PR3P4R3 FOR.”

“I think the timing is perfect. I mean if I’m gonna be taking you as a date to this thing shouldn’t I know what kinda dates we’re supposed to be?”

Terezi stared at him for a few moments. Then set her jaw, turning more teal by the second. “F1N3. 1… M4YB3 1 DO H4V3 4 SL1GHT 1NT3R3ST 1N YOU TH4T 1SNT PUR3LY PL4TON1C 4ND OUT OF PROF3SS1ON4L R3SP3CT. 1 M1GHT B3 P4L3 FOR YOU.”

Dave blinked at her, registering this. “So… like… what Karkat and Gamzee have?”

“Y3S.”

“Oh.”

“OH??”

“Shit.” He’d never actually considered that. That wasn’t… as bad. He thought he’d have to get into this whole speech about how he respected her feelings and liked her and shit but wasn’t into her that way but this wasn’t… what he thought it would be. This was actually interesting.

“WH4T DO3S TH4T M34N? DONT T3LL M3 1 M4D3 TH3 COOL D4V3 STR1D3R RUN OUT OF WORDS QU1T3 L1T3R4LLY?”

“Let my mouth catch up to my brain, Tz, I’m thinking.”

She stared at him.

“Well that’s… cool then.” She frowned. “I mean it’s kinda like best friends but like, really close best friends, which is kind of what we already are. I’m cool with that.”

“1TS NOT B3ST FR13NDSH1P D4V3.”

“I know. But since we don’t really have a word to explain the concept that’s what I’m saying. I mean it’s not like it doesn’t exist. You had the totally close best friends back on Earth who had the too tight bromances and friendships where they were always accused of fucking each other, and occasionally probably had snuggle and chocolate fest funtimes too. This is kind of the same thing.”

“YOU DONT M1ND?”

 “Just said I didn’t mind. We can try it. Don’t drool all over your dress from relief. I just painted it up for you.”

Terezi’s face spread into a grin. “3V3N 1F 1 DROOL3D 4ND SLOBB3R3D 4ND L1CK3D 1 DONT TH1NK 1T WOULD M4TT3R. 1D ST1LL LOOK 4 B3TT3R S34DW3LL3R TH4N 4LL TH3 OTH3R TROLLS COM1NG R1GHT NOW.”

The corner of his mouth twitched into a tiny smirk. He pulled a necessary adornment out from his specibus. “Ready to make an impression then? I still haven’t given you your corsage.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

They were the first ones there. Terezi, because she had to finalize and make sure everything was in order before the others arrived, and Dave, because he had to start the party off. He set up his turntables and started cranking out the beats, ready for the others to arrive. The lights were set to strobe.

WV arrived first, accompanied by Gamzee. He seemed slightly off-put by the troll, but when Gamzee turned to him and made a funny face, apparently telling a joke, WV laughed, almost against his own will. Dave was happy to see the guy loosen up a bit. He cranked up the music.

The second pair to arrive was Kanaya and Karkat. It looked like she’d tried to fix his hair into something more manageable, but it was already slipping back into a wild state. Karkat looked gruff in his new suit, which wasn’t enhanced by the fins protruding from his face like he was a twisted version of Flounder. Kanaya pulled him to the dance floor, spinning him into a quick jive of some sort. It didn’t really go with the beat. But Dave was okay with it. At least someone was dancing. Terezi went to join Gamzee and WV and soon the three of them were hitting the floor as well, Terezi flying between the two of them like a torpedo, all sharp angles and a cane and a flash of her teeth. WV eventually got some sort of two-step and a snorkel move going, while Gamzee moved to a beat all of his own, horns flashing in the multi-colored lights around him.

Dave mixed the hard bass beat with some electro, slipping in some recorded rhymes after. No one was complaining, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves thus far. He was just about to slip out to the dance floor—or possibly the concessions stand, who knows, cake and the elusive Apple J was there—when the last person showed up, clicking down the hallway in thick heels and pausing at the frame of the doorway, looking in. A short silence fell on the party, staring at her. Dave’s music started to skip.

Rose stood in the doorway, decked out in an elegant green dress—jade green, in fact—that encased her slender figure and made her seem like an ephemeral vision from the dreamscape beyond. She was bare of any grey makeup or face fins or even glitter or fake scales that would’ve made her look more like a fish-person at all, and her lips were colored the same shade as her dress. But what drew their eyes were the swirling patterns on the bottom of her dress that she must’ve used her magic to create, and possibly her Sight to see the best shock value for them all, because the bottom of her dress was cased in what looked like splattered indigo blood, and the bracelet around her wrist had tiny chainsaws on it.

She stepped into the room and grinned, nodding to Dave. He snapped out of his trance and fixed his record. The music flowed again.

In the corner Kanaya seethed.

Rose floated into the room, stopping to greet WV and Gamzee. Gamzee’s eyes darted over her dress briefly, a little too warily.

Dave transitioned over to another song and left his booth, coming up behind the trio. He grabbed Rose’s shoulder. “Gonna steal her for a bit. Won’t take long.”

He led her to the far wall and away from the food table, where Karkat was already indulging in cakes. “Isn’t this a little obvious?”

“Well it wasn’t meant to be subtle. Couldn’t it pass as ironic, in a way, since everyone else looks a lot like you—“ she gestured to his grey face and fins, “and I look like I’m literally just in costume?”

“If you weren’t trying to make the point you’re trying to make. It’s making people uncomfortable.” Gamzee still kept sneaking looks over at them.

“That’s kind of the point.” Rose looked over at Kanaya as she spoke, who was now arriving at the food station with Karkat. She caught her eye and smiled at her. Dave cut her off, blocking her view.

“Just talk to her.”

“She entered into the game with me. I can’t simply back out of it now.”

“Then make a swooping aerial dive and careen out of it into a pool of whipped cream and make it a spectacle. This is really dumb and you know it.”

Her eyes flitted behind him as someone bumped into his rear, pushing him forward. He turned to the side as Terezi wrapped her arms around their shoulders. “HOWS MY F4VOR1T3 COOLK1D 4ND S3COND F4VOR1T3 S33R? D1D 1 1NT3RRUPT 4NYTH1NG?”

“Just an argument about the cake.”

“S33MS TO B3 TH3 SP3CT4CL3 OF TH3 3V3N1NG. 4ND HOP3FULLY TH3 C4US3 OF M4NY 3V3NTS TO COM3.” She winked at them, before dropping her arms to their wrists. “COM3 ON 4ND D4NC3. B3 SOC14BL3.” She pulled them to the dance floor.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave snuck out sometime later with a bladder that was set on bursting. Too many sipped apple juices and snacked-on cake. He hoped they would still have enough even left by the end of the night for any shenanigans. The blackout would happen soon. There was a tiny matter of the question of whether or not the pies were done “for the laffs” or with actual foresight behind it. Dave was going with the former, which meant that if the blackout in a room full of people more crazy shit would happen, but if it was the latter, then nothing would happen, right? It’d pretty much be a failed experiment.

Anyway why was he thinking about this when he needed to pee. He sped to the bathroom.

Afterwards, he rounded the corner, weaving his way through the hallways again—why the nearest bathroom was so far from the dance was probably a lack of foresight on their side, check the problem to be fixed next time they ever did this—and a silver flash caught his eye. Or rather a series of silver flashes. Movement.

He turned soundlessly, peering around the corner it came from. A black figure moved, transporting… something. Dim light bounced off the objects’ reflections, the silver flashes Dave had noticed. The person’s head popped up and they noticed them, and suddenly the objects were gone, replaced by an orb in their hand. Dave took out his sword, preparing for a strife. They threw the orb and he flash-stepped away. Which was apparently what it was intended for. Smoke burst out of it and filled the air, and before he could escape he was surrounded. Ash burned in his throat. He started to cough. Fuck. Nice going, smart guy. Should’ve seen that one coming.

Eyes burning, he made his way out of the hallway, hanging onto the wall. When he finally emerged in a clear space, it was vacant. The person was gone.

Muffled sounds came to his ears. He rubbed his eyes and cleared his throat, coughing out the last of the acrid taste. Maybe the person wasn’t gone after all. They’d just met up with someone else?

He didn’t waste time walking. Just a series of flash-steps and he was there, leaping on top of a tall banister and tiptoeing to a dark corner of the room. He peered over the edge. Two figures stood below him, recognizable from their horns even before their voices traveled up to him.

“—LY RIDICULOUS. DID YOU SERIOUSLY CRACK YOUR MASSIVE CRANIAL HEADPLATE?”

“I GoT ThAt bRo.”

Gamzee and Karkat were still dressed in their dance attire, fins shaped weirdly against their skin now that Dave could see it from above. Karkat was wearing red, which had been a surprise. Dave wouldn’t have thought he’d want to show his blood color at all, but apparently since it was just the seven of them there, the troll didn’t seem to be as ashamed of it as he used to be. The annoying thing was that it looked almost as good as his own suit. Almost. He was supposed to be the most fashionable Knight here and he almost had competition. Damn Kanaya.

Gamzee was dressed in a black and indigo suit decorated in polka-dots, with clown ruffles on the collar, and he’d put colored streamers in his hair to decorate his outfit more. A bright spot of green was on his shoulder, and as he shifted, putting his hands in his pockets, Dave confirmed that it was Lil Cal. The puppet seemed to be looking up at him, giving him a blank wide-eyed grin. Dave scowled at it.

“HUMANS JUST AREN’T WORTH GETTING OUR HATE ON AT. I FOUND THAT OUT WITH THE OTHER ONE.”

Wait what other one. Jade? John? Rose? Shit, he needed to find this out so he could rub Karkat’s face in it forever. This was classic. He’d ask Rose.

“THEY’RE JUST INCAPABLE OF RETURNING IT,” Karkat continued. “THERE’S SOME FUNDAMENTAL DRIVE THAT THEY’RE LACKING.”

Gamzee sighed, sitting down. Suddenly he was several feet shorter and it was a weird change. Dave shifted positions to see better.

“i dOnT KnOw kArBrO. lAtElY ShIt iS JuSt oFf. JuSt cOnFuSiNg mY MoThErFuCkIn tHiNk-pAn. AnD EvErYtHiNg i wAnT GeTs tAkEn bY SoMeOnE Or sOmEtHiNg eLsE BeTtEr. So i gUeSs i fLiPpEd mY ShIt aNd jUmPeD To bLaSpHeMoUs cOnClUsIoNs. YoUrE My bEsT MoThErFuCkIn FrIeNd. ShOuLdNt hAvE DoNe tHaT To a gUy i cArE So mUcH AbOuT. sOrRy.”

“I’VE JUST BEEN BACK FOR A FEW DAYS AND I’M ALREADY FIXING EVERYONE’S PROBLEMS,” Karkat grunted, slipping onto the floor with Gamzee and butting his horns against his jaw. The taller troll grinned, nudging him away, and pulling him back to a more comfortable position, before they immersed themselves in what could only be labeled as unironic eskimo kisses and snuggling. Lil Cal had fallen to the floor, completely forgotten.

Huh. That was moirallegiance. No wonder Terezi was kind of miffed at him calling it a form of best friendship. But the eskimo kisses were a bit overkill. Dave was embarrassed for both of them. He slid out of his hiding spot and flash-stepped away.

xXxXxXxXxXx

When he re-entered the party, Terezi found him and teased him about taking so long.

“D1D YOU F4LL 1NTO TH3 W4ST3 CHUT3?”

“Took the long way back.”

“YOU M34N YOU GOT LOST.”

“Seriously just smashing my pride into a thousand pieces right now, Terezi, thanks.”

When Karkat and Gamzee finally re-arrived, everyone was once again present. It was time. Terezi winked at him and glanced towards Rose, who surreptitiously flashed her wand.

WHAM. Silence hit them as Dave’s music suddenly cut off and they were immersed in darkness. Groans and complaining mutters hit the air.

“Everyone, calm down, we should regain power shortly if the other times were any indication.”

Rose. Voice cutting through the mumbles. Dave moved to open his mouth and second her, when something smacked his face. What. He put a hand to it and rubbed it off, but he couldn’t see anything in the dark. It felt… pasty? Which meant the perp was back in motion.

A click of Terezi’s cane. She would be moving to subdue them now. A few more clicks and then the lights cut back on. And Dave’s face paled. Holy crap.

The walls had been painted over with sloppy rainbow streaks that were still slowly sliding down them, covering the frogs and fish in thick rainbow goo. The strobe lights were pointed directly down, encircling the 7 dancers in a ring. And along the walls, in a perfectly symmetrical pentacle, were five heads in jars stuck in various states of pain, shock, and surprise, preserved so they looked just as creepy as when they died.

In the center of the room was the untouched cake. Dave looked down at his hand. It wasn’t cake. It was… plaster… plaster and blood. He shuddered and wiped it off on his suit.

A scream alerted him to look up, just as a sixth head came falling down from the sky, jerking back as a cord caught it, dangling it directly above them. Tavros’ eyes bulged out, staring at them all as his decapitated head twisted round and round.

Another scream, this time more of a roar than anything else, rang out. Gamzee stepped out from the circle, staring at Tavros’ head, nostrils flared, claws dug deep into fists, dripping indigo blood from his palms to the floor. “who did this? WHO ALL UP AND RAIDED MY ROOM TO DO SOMETHING FUCKED UP LIKE THIS?”

“GAMZEE.” Karkat approached him from behind, placing hands on his shoulders to pap him into calm, but Gamzee shouldered him off, looking around the room with a wild expression in his eyes.

“As If We Dont Already Know,” Kanaya stepped into the inner circle with the other two, glaring at Gamzee. Her chainsaw was already out. “You Were Hoarding The Heads In Your Lair This Entire Time. Youre The Only One With Access To Them Gamzee. Admit It. Youre The Culprit.”

“We don’t know that for certain, Kanaya,” Rose added, stepping into the circle as well.

“I WAS WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME THAT HE WASN’T HERE. WHEN WOULD HE HAVE HAD TIME TO DO IT?”

“Criminals Can Find Ways. Besides He Can Be As Quick As Our Knight of Time. You Might Not Have Even Noticed.”

Dave glanced at Terezi, who was staring at the four with a somewhat blank look on her face. He guessed she was stunned that she didn’t manage to catch the culprit and that the person had managed to do all of this underneath her nose, quite literally.

“Biases can interfere with the actual truth,” Rose was saying. “Some people tend to forget that.”

“Sometimes Biases Are Biases For A Good Reason And Lead You To The Truth Rather Than Keeping You In Needless Suspense While You Analyze Everything To Its Utmost Core Rose.”

“WHY DON’T YOU GET THAT IT’S OBVIOUSLY IMPLAUSIBLE THAT HE WOULD EVEN HAVE TIME TO HOOK UP SOMETHING LIKE THIS. I WAS STANDING NEXT TO HIM THE ENTIRE TIME THAT THE LIGHTS WERE OFF. AND BEFORE THAT HE WAS WITH ME.” Karkat had moved slightly in front of Gamzee, thumbing his sickle, staring Kanaya off.

“There Could Be Too Many Other Variables Unaccounted For Karkat. You Wouldnt Know Everything. We Should At Least Question Him. Very Thoroughly.” But by the way that Kanaya was looking at Gamzee and gripping her chainsaw, she obviously wanted to do something far more violent and final than questioning.

“FOR ALL WE KNOW YOU COULD’VE DONE IT. YOU STILL HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST HIM FOR WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE. WE ALL LOST PEOPLE WHO WE LOVED, KANAYA. OUR FRIENDS.”

“Then Why Is He Not Punished For It?”

“There is an easy way to solve this,” Rose cut in. “I should have done it earlier and avoided this mess entirely. It was my mistake that I chose not to.” She dug in her pocket, reaching for her cue ball. She frowned, digging around. Her face darkened. “They stole it.”

A roar had Kanaya raising her chainsaw as Gamzee flash-stepped out from around Karkat, heading for the center of the room. Kanaya swung, just as Gamzee was reaching up to free Tavros’ head from its string and he flash-stepped around her blow, coming back with juggling clubs of his own.

“you want to play, lowblood?” He asked, shooting a smile and a HONK.

“I Am A Midblood In Case You Were Unaware.”

“IT’S ALL MOTHERFUCKIN LOW TO ME, SIS.”

His first swing was a blur. She raised her chainsaw to block it, while his second club went for her waist. She dodged it with newfound vampire agility and aimed a swing of her own towards his waist, aiming to rip him to jagged pieces.

Dave stepped in, yanking Gamzee back just as he was taking another swing, and kicked him to the other side of the room. Then he yanked Kanaya back as well, pushing her down. He yanked the chainsaw out of her hands. “Stop it. Sorry to say that I actually agree with the little grey man over there who usually has cherry sludge and balls for brains, but you guys are being idiots. Major fucking _I’m going to jump in this pit of sharks covered in red blood and chicken sauce while doing the cha cha_ kinda idiots. What the hell are you doing, Kanaya? Rose is right. This isn’t the way to solve this, even if he is the guy who’s throwing his pies and heads all over the walls. Your grudge is kinda dragging you down like a kid with ten different life vests on in a kiddy pool and if I didn’t know any better I’d say you had some sort of hate-obsession with him. If that’s even a thing that exists. Gamzee, why are you playing along with her anger?”

Gamzee was squatting, clutching Tavros’ head in his arms, juggling clubs abandoned at his sides. He stared at Dave. “she was the one who up and attacked me first, bro.”

“Don’t give a shit who attacked who first. You shouldn’t have even risen to the bait. Suggest you get some serious shoosh-papping going on right now too. I don’t wanna be the next one you decide is worth slaughtering.”

Gamzee started to chuckle, smiling at him, jaw buried in the dead troll’s Mohawk and Lil Cal popped up over his shoulder. Fuck, seriously not reassuring seriously not reassuring.

“H3Y GUYS. SHUT UP. TH3R3S SOM3ON3 M1SS1NG.”

They turned back to Terezi, who frowned at them. She pointed, counting each of them painstakingly slow, aloud. “TH3R3 4R3 S1X OF US H3R3. WH3R3S WV?”

They looked around the room, but she was right. He was gone. One of the doors swung back and forth into the empty hallway, taunting them.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story's getting longer. Oh no.  
> Sorry for the long wait. Here's an update with another update shortly to follow. Hope you like. -Zade

****

**_Chapter 6_ **

They formed search parties after the announcement, trekking down the halls and peeking into crevices and hiding nooks, going through various rooms and even the abandoned series of rooms that the dead trolls had claimed when they were still alive. But to no avail. WV had completely vanished in thin air, like some mystical ghost. Dave briefly wondered if he’d left the same way he came, just up and popped out of existence on their little meteor, but he quickly disregarded that idea. They were traveling in the middle of a nowhere zone; if it were that easy to pop someone in and out Jade would’ve figured it out a long time ago and then they’d all be together in the same place by now.

He had to be here somewhere.

Rose took off with Kanaya, pulling her away from the fray and probably off to talk in the process, and Terezi had flocked to Gamzee, fitting him with a strict Legislacerator stare the other troll ignored, chin still nuzzled in Tavros’ stiff hawk. By his side, Karkat’s hands flexed and curled as he stared at Gamzee. Before he could apparently make a decision on whatever he was hesitating about, Terezi pulled Gamzee up to search for WV. Then it was just the two of them. Dave nudged Karkat and they took off together, searching for WV on their own.

He looked over at Karkat now as the troll’s head popped up, emerging from the nook he’d just looked into with a gruff expression. His red suit was now covered in dust and soot, which Dave couldn’t help but feel a bit better about since it meant his own only looked that much better.

“Find any escaped criminals?”

“NOT UNLESS THEY’RE FIVE INCHES LONG AND COVERED IN GREY FUR.”

“I said escaped criminals, not what’s in your pants.”

Karkat took a swat at him. Dave evaded it without effort.

“WE SEARCHED THIS PLACE HIGH AND LOW. I DON’T THINK WE’RE GOING TO FIND HIM. MAYBE THE OTHERS HAD MORE LUCK.”

“Wanna get back to your moirail?”

“YOU DON’T THINK HE DID IT, DO YOU?” Karkat’s stance melded into auto-defense.

“Relax. I’m not gonna cut him to chow bits with a chainsaw. I don’t think he would’ve had the time.” Dave wasn’t gonna admit to spying on their reconciliation conversation, and he’d only stumbled onto it anyway, but he didn’t think the Gamzee he saw there had any intentions on pulling that stunt on them twenty minutes later. Which meant there was someone else.

“WHO DO YOU THINK DID IT THEN? HIS LAIR’S LOCATION ISN’T EXACTLY A SECRET, BUT IT’S NOT THE EASIEST TO GET INTO IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR.”

“Starting to think this prankster is more intelligent than we thought, Karkat.”

“WHOEVER THE FUCK IT IS I’M GOING TO WRECK THEM AFTER THIS.” Karkat balled up a fist and turned away, striding back.

Dave turned to leave, but something caught his eye. He knelt. A green coin. He picked it up, turning it over in his fingers, then looked around. Nothing else that indicated where this came from or which way whoever was holding it left. He didn’t exactly know what it meant, or whether it was even relevant. He pocketed it anyway.

“YOU COMING, YOU FUCKING NUBSACK, OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO TELL THEM MY PATHETIC PARTNER GOT LOST IN A HOLE FULL OF RUBBLE AND COULDN’T DIG HIS WAY OUT?”

Dave stood up, brushing off his knees. “You’d love that too much. Someone needs to keep your desires in check.” He trotted to catch up.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Rose leaned against the wall, arms crossed. Her hands occasionally touched her pocket by reflex, as if checking to make sure that yes, her cue ball was really gone and no, it wasn’t coming back. Terezi lay across the floor, tapping the end of her cane in thought. Dave sat on the edge of a plush chair, eyes flickering between Rose and Terezi in turn.

“BUT WHO 3LS3 H4S TH4T SP33D, OTH3R TH4N D4V3? 1T H4PP3N3D W1TH1N 4 M1N1SCUL3 T1M3FR4M3. 1T H4D TO H4V3 B33N H1M.”

“Karkat did have a point about the access. No one had entrance, besides those two. And Gamzee would have noticed in an instant if any of his precious heads had gone missing.”

“I just don’t think even Gamzee would’ve had the time, alright? And aren’t you guys forgetting something while you’re throwing darts at speed and clockwork? It was fucking dark. Like pitch black, I-can’t-see-the-hands-in-front-of-my-face kinda dark. Major thing this person would have to have is some way to see. Or maybe they don’t have to. Maybe everything was rigged up beforehand and they just came in and let the curtains roll.”

“We were the only ones with access to the room ourselves, Dave. No one even knew the location beforehand.”

“Well obviously someone found out. We all get that this creep is smarter than we thought at first. They wanna play a fucking game with us so that’s what they’re fucking playing.”

“TH3N M4YB3 TH4TS WH4T W3 H4V3 TO F1GUR3 OUT. W3LL DROP TH3 G4MZ33 L34D FOR R1GHT NOW THOUGH 1M ST1LL NOT 3NT1R3LY CONV1NC3D. H3 ST1LL COULD H4V3 FOUND OUT WH3R3 W3 W3R3 4ND S3T 3V3RYTH1NG UP B3FOR3, 1N H1S L3SS S4N3 ST4T3. BUT 4NYW4Y, 1F TH3 P3RP 1S PL4Y1NG 4 G4M3, WH4T DO YOU TH1NK TH3 RUL3S 4R3? WH4TS TH3 4IM? 4ND HOW DO W3 W1N?”

They fell into brief silence for a moment, thinking about this. Then Rose leaned off the wall, coming to stand between them. “Let’s compare evidence.” She pointed to Terezi’s wall, where all her papers and notes on the first “crime” had been transported to Rose’s bedroom, momentarily, where they were currently holding their meeting. “The first incident was done in the dark, during everyone’s current sleeping time, and it was left in a visible public place where they knew everyone would flock to in the morning. They used objects they knew everyone loved, the pies, to make a stir, and it was set up to make a spectacle of it all.”

“TH3YR3 4N 4TT3NT1ON S33K3R.”

“And not simply an attention seeker. They covered their tracks to make sure they left no evidence behind and they’d already planned to do it again. They saw the attention their first “prank” did and decided to do more.”

“4ND W3 F4C1L1T4T3D 1T TH3 S3COND T1M3.”

“Indeed. They did it completely different than the first time. In plain view, in a room full of all the parties on the meteor. Which was the plan. We thought that maybe if we controlled the blackout and prepared in advance that we could catch them, but we didn’t.”

“TH3Y W3R3 TOO F4ST FOR 3V3N M3 TO C4TCH. SORRY. 1 COULDNT G3T 4 SC3NT ON TH3M.”

“Well. The issue is, we assumed wrong. The prank that we thought they were going to pull turned malicious.”

Dave flashed back to the circle of heads around the room, the light beaming directly on the circle of them, Gamzee’s howl and crazed dash, Kanaya’s chainsaw, the swinging doors that marked WV’s disappearance. Things turned insane really quick.

“And now the game that they’re playing, we enabled. If we continue on playing then we’ll simply enable them further.”

“NOT 1F W3 C4TCH TH3M.”

“What if we mess up like last time and they slip away and do something even bigger, Terezi?”

“We won’t,” Dave cut in. “We get what they want and who they are now. Before we were just touching this thing that was squirmy and tiny and we all thought it was a worm, but now we know it’s a really big snake with sharp fangs and it hisses before it attacks, you know? We won’t be snuck up on again.”

“It’s not about whether it’s a snake or a worm. It’s about not letting it get bigger than it is. I would think you would agree, Terezi. The criminal can’t have their way all the time.”

Terezi’s face deflated like the air had been sucked out of her favorite toy. Which in this case, it probably had. She was no longer gonna be able to play big bad lawyer-slacerator anymore.

“Unless you honestly think that WV had any way of doing it, which seems unlikely since he hasn’t been around any of us long enough to know what makes us tick, and during the time of the first incident, he was still half in recovery under both my and Kanaya’s watch.”

“NO. 1 TH1NK... H3 W4S T4K3N.”

“So do I. And that’s why I’m proposing not to mess with this perpetrator anymore. We won’t play their game. Instead, we’ll develop a game of our own and make our own rules.”

“What rules?” Dave frowned at Rose.

“You’ll see. I guarantee you it’ll be effective. I want to ensure that this will not happen again.” Rose tapped her empty pocket thoughtfully and pounced on her bed, pulling out a notebook from under her pillow. God, she kept those things everywhere. Dave and Terezi stood up, taking that as their cue to exit. Terezi captchalogued all her diagrams and outlines before she left.

“WHO STUCK 4 WR1GGL3BUG UP H3R SK1RT?” Terezi asked as soon as they were out of the room.

Dave smiled, but there really wasn’t much to say to the joke. Terezi’s face had moved back to sullen. He tried to put an arm around her but she darted out from under it.

“Your investigation would’ve been a lot more fun, you know. If we tried again.”

“OF COURS3. 1M M4ST3R TR4CK3R 4ND TR4PP3R. W3 D1DNT G3T TH3M TH3 F1RST T1M3, BUT TH4T JUST M34NT TH3 S3COND W3 D3F1N1T3LY WOULD.”

“Totally. They would’ve been squirming like a baby rabbit in our fingers and we would’ve taken a bite.”

Terezi bared her teeth like a hungry wolf, or whatever the equivalent creature would’ve been in her world, then she nodded. “L4T3R.”

“Later.”

She turned away, then turned back, squeezing him in a hug. He kinda stood there for a second, unused to this kinda… whatever it was. Physical affection? Him and his bro expressed their “affection” through strifes and puppet attacks, and the other affection he usually had shared with his best buds had been through the cyberweb and crafting songs for them. But he guessed this was the way it worked now that he and Terezi were, you know, diamond pals. He hugged her back.

“C4NT W41T FOR TH3 R3V34L OF TH3 P3RF3CT ROS3 PL4N. 1M SUR3 1TLL B3 1NT3NS3.”

“Would it be Rose if it wasn’t?”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Turned out they didn’t have to wait long. The next morning Rose called them all to a meeting, seating them in the circle room again. She planted herself in the middle.

“So, I think we all agree that this prankster business has gotten out of hand. I should have stopped it a long time ago, but admittedly I fell a bit short-sighted, and lacking in my position as Seer. That won’t happen again. I’m mandating a new set of rules for everyone to follow to maintain order on this rock.”

“WAIT, HOLD ON. NEW SET OF RULES? SHOULDN’T I HAVE A SAY IN THIS? I’M THE LEADER.”

“While you are the leader you’re not exactly un-biased, Karkat.” Her eyes fell onto Gamzee, leaning on Karkat in a contented way, mollified once more.

“SO SAYS THE MATESPRIT OF KANAYA, ECTO-WRIGGLER-TWIN OF DAVE, AND INVESTIGATIVE PARTNER WITH TEREZI.”

“I still have the ability to maintain my fairness with all parties. You are a ball of fury and emotion.” Karkat puffed up at the words, glaring at Rose. She ignored him, pulling out of her pocket what looked like—was that a scroll, like in an actual non-ironic purpose?

“I’M STILL LEADER. AND I SAY NOTHING GOES UNTIL IT PASSES THROUGH ME FIRST.” He started to rise.

“I have the magic,” Rose said, drawing out her wand. “I make the rules.” It sparked in her hand as she pointed it at him. “Do you have a problem with that?”

A long moment as he glanced toward the wand, then back to her, then back at the wand again. He glared and plopped back down on the ground. “NO.”

“Good, glad that we could settle that. Now, first—“

Dave glanced at Karkat, who looked furious, just as displaced as Terezi had last night when she had her favorite role taken from her. He guessed he needed to talk to Rose. Wanting to make sure nothing like this happened again was one thing, but stepping over everyone to do it, especially people who probably weren’t invol—wait what did she just say?

“—will be on a schedule. Meal times will be taken together. Curfew will be imposed. No one may go in or out of their rooms before a certain time or consequences will be enacted.”

“WH4T?”

“Is This Serious?”

“Did we just time warp into kindergarten or something?” Dave protested.

“We might as well have with the amount of juvenile conduct that’s been going around,” Rose replied.

“This is fucking balls.”

“Actually it’s fucking brilliant. And unless someone wants to turn themselves in, fucking necessary. Now, everyone will be monitored outside of their rooms. Since my cue ball was stolen,” a tightening of her jaw, “I’ve developed an alternate method of my own.”

She reached into her pocket, pulling out a clear sphere, holding it out for everyone to see. People shifted, staring at it. Terezi stiffened beside him.

“It’s not as effective as the other ball, admittedly, but since that was originally from an omnipotent, omniscient man with more-than-slightly questionable intentions, that’s only to be expected. It more than serves my purpose, however. When I speak a name into it I can see exactly where that person is, what they’re doing and if they’re up to no good.”

She demonstrated, speaking Gamzee’s name into the sphere. A haziness rose in the orb and then it faded away, as Gamzee’s face appeared on the ball. It moved when he did. He grinned. “WiCkEd, SiS.”

“WAIT. SO YOU COULD BE WATCHING US WHEN WE’RE IN THE ABLUTION CHAMBER?”

“I’ll try to resist the urge.”

“DO3S TH4T M34N TH4T YOU C4N S33 WV TOO?” Terezi asked.

A pause. They stared at Rose.

“…No. Unfortunately my vision’s blocked.”

“What can block a Seer’s vision?” Dave questioned.

“I’m uncertain exactly. Maybe it’s a certain space or an issue with temporality and conditions that affect it. It happens sometimes. I’m sure that Terezi’s experienced it herself. We’ll find him though.” Rose looked over the room. “Well, that brings us to the end of the meeting. I’ll post the schedule up later for your perusal. We’ll start tomorrow.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

“What do you think?”

They were looking over the new schedule together, a copy posted on one of the walls of Terezi’s lair, pasted over an angry looking salamander speaking to court. It was damp where Terezi had licked it, making sure that she fully understood what it was saying. Right now they were just kinda staring at it, like it was this bug they couldn’t quite figure out.

Terezi tapped her finger. “1 DONT KNOW. M4YB3 1T 1SNT B4D.”

“Sure cause stripping us of all our freedom and privacy is a good thing. Just what we needed to spice up the place.”

“1 M34N. 1TS NOT 4 B4D 1D34 1S 1T? W3 DONT H4V3 TO WORRY 4BOUT C4TCH1NG TH3 CR1M1N4L 4ND W3 WONT M4K3 MOR3 M1ST4K3S. 1TS 4LL S3TTL3D.”

“Is this seriously Miss Terezi Pyrope talking right now or have you been infected by some alien twin.”

“1M S3R1OUS.” She turned towards him. Her glasses were off, so he could get a clear view of her red eyes now. They were pretty freaky without irises and totally focused on him. “H4V3 YOU 3V3R DON3 SOM3TH1NG YOUV3 COMPL3T3LY R3GR3TT3D? 1M TH3 S33R OF M1ND. 1 SHOULD B3 4BL3 TO FOR3S33 TH1NGS. 1 N3V3R 3V3N S4W TH1S.”

“So what. You couldn’t see everything; you’re not omniscient. We make mistakes and we fix ‘em.”

“1 JUST F33L CR4PPY 4BOUT 1T D4V3. 1T SHOULDNT H4V3 GON3 TH1S W4Y.”

“I know. You should’ve investigated and followed through on that shit and caught the prankster like you’d planned to. You know you’d still be kicking ass if we were still working on trying to catch them. But then there’s a thing called life and it’s a bastard about giving you all the kind of headaches you don’t want and don’t need. I’ve experienced a shitload of them myself.”

The corner of Terezi’s lip turned upwards at that. Score for trying to get her to feel a bit lighter about all this.

“4ND YOUR3 NOT M4D 4T M3 TH3N? FOR HOW 1T 4LL TURN3D OUT?”

“Why the fuck would I be mad. You gotta do what you gotta do. ‘Sides, you can’t win all the investigations, Tz. Didn’t they teach you that in law school?”

“1 MUSTV3 F4LL3N 4SL33P ON TH4T W1S3 1NSTRUCT1ON. 1TLL B3 FOR3V3R TH3 B4N3 OF MY 3X1ST3NC3.”

“Well at least you have something to look forward to in life.”

Terezi flicked his nose for that. “BUT 1 G3T 1T. 4 D3C1S1ON 1S 4 D3C1S1ON 3V3N 1F 1T TURNS OUT NOT TO B3 TH3 B3ST ON3. YOUV3 GOTT4 FOLLOW THROUGH S1NC3 YOU C4NT GO B4CK.”

“Most of us can’t.”

“BR4GG4RT.”

Dave snickered. There was a brief pause as they both stared at the schedule for a second, involved in their own thoughts. It was a list of colors now, starting every acceptable area during which times and what times they were all supposed to meet up. Pretty much meals and meetings were all-group sessions just like Rose said, but now they also were expected to pick an area and stay in it for the designated block time. When pretty much all of their day had been wandering around from room to room and person to person, this new stay-there-until-the-end-of-the-block thing would be like fucking torture.

He looked over at Terezi, whose thoughts were obviously elsewhere. She’d brightened up a bit, but still.

“So is that what you were worried about this entire time? You seemed totally off lately.”

“W4S 1T TH4T OBV1OUS?”

“I dangled a cherry in front of your face and you said you didn’t want it.”

“1 W4SNT HUNGRY.”

“For a cherry?” Dave flipped up her bangs, touching her forehead with his best concerned-mother-hen expression on his face.

Terezi chuckled and grinned, brushing his hand away.

“There we go. See? That’s much better.”

She licked his cheek. “TH4NKS.”

“…Sure thing.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Breakfast the next morning was a pretty interesting thing. Dave had to wake up early to get to it, which he wasn’t pretty happy about. He usually liked to sleep in as long as his body would let him if he wasn’t going up for sparring practice. He was too used to his Bro’s random attacks in his sleep over the years; he could never get the kind of sleep he wanted. So he enjoyed it here. But not anymore apparently.

They all met in the room adjacent to the kitchen, where Rose brought out platters and platters of food. Apparently she’d wanted to cook it all herself, but finally caved and let Gamzee help her since she didn’t know what the hell she was doing. And apparently they both didn’t know what the hell they were doing, since half the constructions looked like explosions of crust and bread and ingredients, but it was a start. Better than all the random things they’d taken to eating for breakfast, like alchemized chocolate gummi-worm grub twizzlers. Why’d he ever even thought that was a good idea was beyond him.

They were all seated around a circle table and Rose handled the slightly tense moments, like Gamzee and Kanaya regarding each other warily, with an excellent hand, distracting Kanaya into conversation and discreetly urging Karkat to do the same to the clown.

Terezi’s eyes were darting around the room, taking all of its renovations for breakfast time in. And Dave was too busy stuffing his mouth full of the eggs filled with green seaweed-looking things? These weren’t too bad. He had a mad craving for waffles though. But there was bacon which was almost just as good.

And then the sauce went flying. Literally. A bowl of sauce in the air flipping over on itself and landing straight on… Terezi’s head. She shriek-squawked in surprise while Gamzee grinned her way. Then she pulled the bowl off her head, picking up a loaf of bread. Dave ducked as she threw it. It hit Karkat square in the face.

“I DIDN’T THROW IT AT YOU!”

“Who the fuck cares, Karkat. Food fight!” Dave scooped a handful of beans and threw them at Kanaya, who shot straight up as they went down her dress. She threw a wet fish his way. He dodged and it splattered on the wall behind him, but then he got hit by more sauce from Gamzee. Everyone tossed food at each other.

Rose was obviously trying to maintain an irritated “you guys are so immature” face, but as Terezi popped her with a few grapes, she gave up and joined in.

xXxXxXxXxXx

“We have to do much better next time.”

“Absolutely.”

“We can’t let a scene like that happen again.”

“Totally. It was all my fault for starting it in the first place.”

“Could you be serious about this, Dave?”

“I dunno. Does your talking to me have to actually work?”

“I don’t want an incident like that to happen again. I joined in this time and… I shouldn’t have even participated in that kind of raucous display.”

“But you had fun.”

“That is not the point.”

“Fine I won’t do it again, alright? But shouldn’t you be talking to Gamzee instead of me? He kinda started it.”

“I already have plans to. I thought I’d approach family first.”

“Alright. I get you.”

“Without even the participation and support of some key players, this is going to fail. In case you forgot you’re also a “leader” of sorts in this. What you do people will follow. And if they start taking this less seriously than it should be, the incidents are only going to happen again.”

“But you can catch ‘em this time.” Dave gestured to her pocket where her orb was located.

Rose narrowed her eyes at him.

“Just pointing that out. I’ll stop treating it like a joke, alright?”

“Good. I didn’t want to have to actually exact further punishment onto you.”

“…what would that be, out of curiosity?”

“Magical. What else?”

“Sounds kinda unpleasant.”

“It would have been.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

By lunchtime, it was a very different affair. No food fights. No joking and whispered snarks at the table. Just eating and the occasional snippets of conversation and Rose’s watchful eye.

During their recess before dinner, he and Terezi tried to watch a movie. During the middle of it she tried to leave to get some food from the kitchen, but Rose appeared, clearing her throat, directing them to stay inside for the time block. Terezi sank back to her seat. After Rose left, they tried to watch it again, eating the random snacks from their sylladex, but they couldn’t even concentrate. She didn’t even lick the screen.

By dinner, it had become somber. Practically no one spoke, just clatters of silverware (and scrapes of claws) against plates. The cheerful mood from earlier was killed. He needed some air.

“One hour until curfew, everyone. I expect to see you in your rooms then.” Rose left the room.

Dave bolted. And went straight to the platform, where a bundle of blankets was already sitting. It was Karkat, who jerked when he came in, then relaxed when he saw who it was.

“I thought you were too sick to come to dinner.”

“I WAS. SICK OF ALL YOU IRRITATING NOOKSNIFFERS. I COULDN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.”

“Forced bonding time isn’t your thing?”

“IS THAT A JOKE, BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOME REALLY SHITTY TASTE IN HUMOR.”

Dave smirked and approached, looking at the Green Sun to his right and then the new session they were traveling towards to his left. The most scenery that they’d ever get in this perpetual outer space land. He looked at Karkat out of the side of his shades. The troll was looking pretty solemn, staring off into space with this almost wistful look on his face, like it would solve whatever things he was trying to sort out in his head right now. Dave got a weird urge to bash it.

I’M SUPPOSED TO BE LEADER,” Karkat spoke. “BUT SHE FUCKING TOOK OVER, WAVING HER TINY IDIOTIC WANDS EVERYWHERE LIKE SHE’S GONNA SMITE ANYONE WHO COMES IN HER WAY AND THEN BAM WE’RE GONNA BE ROASTED GRUBSACKS GARGLING THE CHAR ABCS. I’D ALMOST ASK FOR JACK RIGHT NOW FOR SOME EXCITING COMPANY IF I KNEW WE WOULDN’T BE COMPLETELY SLAUGHTERED THE MOMENT WE SAW HIS FACE. AND THEN—“

He never got to finish his sentence because Dave punched him in the face. Karkat stared at him, rubbing his jaw. “WHAT THE—“

Dave slipped into a fighting stance, sword already out. He waited. Karkat looked at him a bit longer before his sickle popped into his hand as well and he rose, taking on an answering strife stance. As they did the traditional stare-down-and-size-up before the attack, Dave could feel his blood rising. He’d been sort of looking forward to this since their last sudden strife, he realized, really seeing how Karkat fought when he wasn’t overly emotional and mind-numb over some stupid argument he was having. And now, when they were both a little ticked off by the scheduling arrangements, it was the perfect setting. Dave flash-stepped and struck.

 Karkat managed to catch the blow on the end of his sickle, sliding it off with a force that put Dave just slightly off-balance, immediately lunging into a counter-attack. He’d managed it pretty effortlessly. Maybe he’d been training with Gamzee’s speed.

Dave caught the attack with the flat of his broken sword and tried to push him off, but though the troll was skinny, he was pretty strong. He didn’t budge and instead crouched and lunged up, his shoulder connecting with Dave’s collarbone. OW. What was it with trolls attacking his neck region with their hard, bony parts?

He flash-stepped back and around, attacking Karkat from the side. Karkat parried and kicked and Dave caught his foot, twisting and using the momentum to swing him to the ground. Karkat landed with a loud thump and oof. He rolled into a defensive position just as Dave reached him. Dave attacked with a quick series of sword movements and Karkat blocked them all, but just barely, with the edge of his sickle as he bit his lip in irritation. Dave kicked him in the chest and Karkat, expecting more sword attacks, went over. Dave stepped over him, ready to perform a final defeating blow, when Karkat’s leg went up mid-swing and hit him in the crotch.

His sword jerked wildly through the air over Karkat’s head as his brain melted for a second, a train of “ow, fuck, no fair, this is total foul play you sharp-toothed grey-skinned motherfucking stubby-horned punk” and pain flaring up in his nether-regions, and he felt a second kick on his stomach send him down to the ground this time. Yup, okay, Karkat was definitely physically stronger than him. This proved it without a doubt. He could already feel early bruises.

He rolled over on his side, trying to pretend like his eyes weren’t getting a little misty behind his shades, whatever, it didn’t ruin his cool effect at all. And saw Karkat approaching him from his peripheral, raising his own sickle.

A flash of red came out from behind him and slashed the troll in the back, emerging with a blade of candy-colored red.

“HEY, NO FUCKING FAIR. YOU CAN’T JUMP TIME AND EXPECT ME TO FIGHT TWO OF YOU.”

“It stopped being fair when you kicked me in the balls, bro. You can’t do that and not expect some foul-play retaliation,” the second Dave answered back, lunging into attack again.

To be quite frank, this Dave kicked Karkat’s ass. Blood went flying from both of them and yells and coarse exchanges were thrown, as well as punches, kicks and more sword clashes than a fencing match between two suitors trying to earn one girl’s hand, but in the end it was Karkat’s face who was scraped against the platform harder than a wire scrubber on a stubborn piece of dirt. And future Dave was standing over him with a cocky smile on his face, resettling his sliding shades on his face.

And when Dave recovered from the foul hit, he jumped time to become him.

xXxXxXxXxXx

At the end of it, Karkat admitted a less-than-satisfied defeat and he and Dave lay side by side, staring up into starless space with crossed arms.

“How’d you manage to see my strikes?”

“I DIDN’T. I JUST GUESSED.”

“Whoa shit seriously?”

“IT WAS SORT OF OBVIOUS. MUCH EASIER THAN THAT CLOWN-HEAD I SOMETIMES STRIFE WITH. HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE HINTS OF BODY MOVEMENTS OR PATTERNS; HE JUST DOES WHATEVER HE FEELS LIKE WHENEVER THE FLIPPING FUCK HE FEELS LIKE IT.”

Dave frowned. He’d obviously have to get better at being less predictable. Maybe that was the reason he lost so many—okay so fine it was all of them—strifes against his Bro.

“How long have you been practicing? You’re pretty good with the sickle.”

“SINCE I WAS A GRUB. PRETTY MUCH SINCE THE WHOLE FIGHT TO THE DEATH GRUB PIT AND PROBABLY BEFORE THEN. I DON’T REALLY REMEMBER. BUT I DIDN’T HAVE THE SICKLE THEN, OF COURSE; I WAS A FREAKING TINY INSECT WITH BARELY ANY ARMS. WHEN I GREW UP IT BECAME MY FAVORITE TOOL.”

“Cool.”

“DID YOU ENJOY FIGHTING WITH YOUR LUSUS WHEN YOU WERE A GRUB? OR DID HE JUST KINDA KICK YOU INTO IT?”

Dave tried to remember. It was hard to. He was practically an infant when Bro first started teaching him how to fight, giving him a sword like three times his body weight because he thought it would tone him up and then he finally caved and gave Dave something he could handle. Then he started strifing with Lil Cal, mostly, who was closer to his same size, and learning to deal with all the traps Bro sprung around the house for him. It was kinda fun, he guessed. If the whole orgy of puppet dongs was kind of traumatizing when they’d randomly strike.

“I liked it. It was cool, mostly. We spent tons of time together when he taught me how to fight. And how to first work the tables.”

Turntables were like his favorite thing Bro had shown him, and they’d stuck with him until now. He also taught him the first mechanisms of rap and tried to get him into puppets, but to no avail on the latter. He was kinda creeped out by those forever.

“MY LUSUS WAS THE FIRST CREATURE I EVER FOUGHT WITH TOO. HE COULDN’T TALK SO HE MOSTLY COMMUNICATED WITH GESTURES AND RANDOM STRIFES, AND WHEN HE WAS REALLY PISSED HE PINCHED ME UNTIL I DID WHATEVER HE WANTED. HE WAS EVEN MORE OF A CRABBY ASS THAN ME. HE TAUGHT ME LOADS OF STUFF THOUGH.”

“Hard to believe someone could be crabbier than you.”

“YEAH WELL BELIEVE IT. IMAGINE ME JUST WITH A HUGE SHELL, PINCERS AND AN INSATIABLE DESIRE TO BE RIGHT COMBINED WITH A HUGE BULGE-LICKING ATTITUDE WHEN PISSED AND YOU’VE PRETTY MUCH GOT HIM.”

“I really can’t see a difference.”

Karkat punched him in the arm, hard. It tingled in a way that threatened to bruise. Just another addition to all the others Dave was going to have. The troll sat up.

“IT’S LIKE AN HOUR AFTER CURFEW. ROSE IS PROBABLY GONNA TRY AND SMITE US.”

“I figure if she cared she’d be up here right now. She let it go on so she obviously doesn’t care too much. Or we just have some immunity since we’re technically “leaders” or something.”

Karkat stood up, brushing himself off. He straightened the parts of his clothes that had been mangled by Dave’s sword, but that didn’t really make them any more presentable. Dried red blood still showed from some of the areas he tried to cover.

“SO I ACCEPT.”

“What? Your award to douchehood? Congrats on the invite, man.”

“TRY AGAIN, BASTARD. YOUR INVITE TO STRIFE PARTIES AND PARTNERSHIP. WE NEED TO DO THIS AGAIN.”

“Told you.”

“JUST BE PREPARED FOR NEXT TIME WHEN I KICK YOUR PALE, RED-FLUSHED ASS.”

“And be prepared to kiss it cause that’ll never happen.”

Karkat pulled his blankets up over his head and crept to the exit, peeking out before darting into it. Blankets wouldn’t keep him from showing up on Rose’s ball when she spoke his name, but Dave guessed he wanted the bit of privacy he could afford himself. He couldn’t blame him. He leisurely stood up and exited the platform after him.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you go. The last update for now. Consider this a part 2 to the previous chapter. Enjoy!

**_Chapter 7_ **

The expected talk and/or punishments from Rose never came. And the next night they found themselves on the platform again, strifing.

It was slightly different than last time, now that they more firmly knew each other’s strengths (and weaknesses; Dave looked out for any more dirty plays involving his genital area). Dave tried to avoid getting hit by any physical blows since as his inspection proved last night, they did leave pretty damn nice-sized bruises. Karkat was made up of toned muscles beneath his deceivingly loose clothes, whereas Gamzee had been more bones, limbs and flexibility and Vriska was a robo-arm and head games. Karkat, for his part, mostly tried to keep up with Dave’s speed and skill with his broken sword and anticipate when Dave would try and switch up his attacks. He got in a few new ones, like his claws scraping Dave’s collarbone and a flick of his sickle almost slicing Dave’s ear but giving him a slight new haircut instead. Dave, on his part, got in more pummeling than he thought, grinding Karkat’s face into the ground before he almost got his fingers bitten off. And after they’d agreed they were finished, panting and sweating, they flopped down on the platform next to each other and talked.

The conversations were perhaps the most interesting part of things. Dave realized that they’d never really spoken. His impression of Karkat as an angry fuckhead who screamed everything he said and acted like an abrasive dickhead wasn’t… well it wasn’t wrong. But it also wasn’t the complete deal. And when Karkat sometimes jerked into a sudden laugh at a comment he made or looked at him out the corner of his eye after something he said, just stared at him, he could tell that the troll probably felt the same way.

Conversely, as they grew more comfortable with each other, they also grew more violent. Their fights were full of heated competition and frustration, all the things they couldn’t say or do everywhere else on the damn rock coming out in full force as they attacked each other. They openly drew blood—Karkat had seemed to become more comfortable with Dave seeing his blood color as they strifed; he no longer did stupid evasions just to prevent it from happening, he just fought through it—and left bruises, usually in places below the general area of their clothes, just so that no one would ask too many questions. That morning after their first strife was full of them. They gave similar answers.

“The hoard of smuppets had it out for me and I fell for them like a doped-up tap dancer over a manhole.”

“THE ABLUTION CHAMBER IS A PHYSICAL MAIMING HAZARD AND MY FACE IS GOING TO BE RUINED FOREVER BECAUSE OF ITS STUPID SLIP-CAUSING FLOOR. I SERIOUSLY COULD’VE BEEN GONE AND THEN WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME? PUBLIC SAFETY ANNOUNCEMENT NOW FOR ABSOLUTELY THINKPAN-LESS CONSTRUCTION OF COMMON SPACES.”

Sometimes Dave wondered if they didn’t only go up here for the release of frustration and break from rules and strict guidelines, but for a connection with someone else that understood. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Terezi would understand, but she wasn’t the one he was out here fighting, and she didn’t have the same displacement from the system as he and Karkat did, it seemed. Actually, no one did. Though they complained about it at first, they seemed to adjust to it pretty well. Terezi even started patrolling the corridors in search of wrong-doers and to make sure everything went A-OK.

But as he looked into Karkat’s eyes, which were slowly getting flecks of red in them—a part of troll puberty?—as the troll growled at him and reached for his fallen sickle, he knew he understood. And it made him feel less of a fuck up for not being able to adapt to these whole series of changes and lack of privacy and control, and he knew that someone else felt the exact same way.

xXxXxXxXxXx

“Oh please don’t s8y it’s you again.”

“I could ask the same thing, but seeing as you’re already here I guess that’d be kinda pointless.”

Vriska stared at him, her eight-fold vision contracting and expanding—or maybe that was just his imagination, or maybe reality was being distorted in this dream bubble. He turned back to the turntables he was rigging up and added, “What the hell are you doing in my dream anyway? Shouldn’t you be in your own? Or gallivanting with some other dead person?”

“Ha…….. so this is yours, then? Nice room for such a l8mo loser.”

“You obviously had some reason to be here since you stepped into my space, so unless you wanna just leave now, tell me what you want.”

Vriska slid onto the side of the table, leaning over just so much that she brushed one of his spinning records with her weight. He yanked it off to save it. She paused close to his face. “Did she enjoy my 8ruises?”

“She didn’t even see em. Disappeared before she could.”

Vriska scowled, jumping off the table and marching away. Dave turned back to his tables, before he heard a finger snap and a clonk on his head as she threw one of her die at him. “Are you coming?”

“Am I supposed to?”

“I’m giving you a treat. Don’t let my niceness 8e for nothing. Come on.”

Vriska led him through a series of dreamscapes, glimpses of alternate planets and old worlds. They passed through what could only be presumably her old house or hive or whatever, spiderwebs as huge as him on the walls and shifting scuttles in the background, creeping him the fuck out. Then they passed through another planet full of sand and more sand, another one with literal teapots sticking out everywhere, and some place full of rocks where some android-girls were chilling and a girl with pointed ears was jumping up and down in front of them, presumably talking to the huge hulk of a guy before her. Vriska slipped out of that space and he followed.

Shortly there were two people in front of him, giggling as they stood over a dip, presumably looking at the scenery below. Vriska cleared her throat. They turned around.

“Dave!”

“Dave!!!”

A shift of space and he was being pounced by a mass of cloth and dog ears. A gust of wind signaled the arrival of the second person, tossing Dave’s hair and clothes, as he was thoroughly glomped. Suddenly Dave was covered in two gleeful buck-toothed idiots hanging on to him like kids discovering a lollipop tree.

He replied to their excitement with his usual cool tone. “Sup.”

“Awesome, Vriska! I can’t believe you found him.”

Vriska smiled at John with a mixture of self-confidence and smugness. “Naturally. I am the a8solute 8est after all!”

Jade gestured towards a series of rocks over where she and John had been looking over the rift. “Let’s catch up.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

The four of them sat together and John and Jade told him of their time on the ship. John complained about how he’d tried to get the salamanders and carapaces to be more fun, introducing them to various games, but they could only seem to master chess. It was what they were best at. Tried to pull pranks with them but they ended up spoiled before they were even pulled off. The salamanders especially were terrible at keeping secrets. Next he wanted to try an MMORPG. Who couldn’t master a fun adventure game? It was unheard of.

Jade gave John a look, which made Dave wonder exactly how many times they’d had an argument over his new ideas and how many times John did them anyway. She turned back to him. “So how is your trip, Dave? How is Rose? We were hoping to see her too, but dream bubbles aren’t always the most predictable or susceptible to influence,” she ended in a slight grumble.

Dave thought about the past few months on the meteor, the adjustment to living with trolls, WV dropping on them half-dead and then recovering but disappearing, the Pie Massacrist prankster that led to their current lockdown situation. It didn’t even sound like the other two had anything close to that level of crazy going on. “It’s been… cool. You know, the food is weird, the showers are called ablutions, and Rose is getting it on with some vampire troll chick,” _and currently, her dictator-mode too_ , he privately added, “I think she’s enjoying herself.”

“Are you enjoying it?” Jade questioned, staring at him with large eyes behind her glasses.

“It’s a spectacle, Jade. A total circus filled with insane contortionists and rabid ringleaders with a ring of toy poodles dancing around a fiery ring. You’d probably like it.”

“It sounds fun,” John eagerly put in.

“On multiple levels it totally is.”

“H8y, didn’t you s8y you had something to give John? A rap or something?” Vriska slid in, cocking an eyebrow at him.

“Aw, seriously, a rap? Lemme hear it.” John perked up.

“Nah, it’s not… I mean—” Dave deflected, but John wouldn’t let it go.

“Your raps are awesome! I kinda miss ‘em, just floating out here in space and all.”

“I miss them too. C’mon Dave!”

“Yeah, what are you w8ting for? Share it.” Vriska grinned at him.

Dave would have glared at her if it wouldn’t have destroyed his cool effect and wouldn’t have been mostly obscured by his sunglasses anyway. Instead he turned back to the other two, John staring at him with a really eager look on his face and Jade staring at him with literal puppy eyes—oh yeah he guessed she had those now. He suddenly didn’t want them to know what had been happening on the meteor even more now. So he opened his mouth and lied. “Sorry, it got totally butchered the other day. Destroyed by fiery flames while I was trying to help out in the kitchen and bam it was a puff of ashes. But it was just updates anyway, all of which I just told you.”

“Aw, that sucks. You can’t just recreate it?” Jade asked him.

“Guess that would cause a paradox or something ‘cause I can’t. Maybe it’s just meant to be the morning’s new marmalade toast.”

John was giving him a look that was inscrutable, but as soon as he caught Dave looking he blinked out of it. Vriska was looking at him with an expression like he’d just popped a sour grape into her mouth.

“What are you doing here anyway?” he asked the blue and orange fairy. “Shouldn’t you be hanging with lover boy or something?”

“Everyone doesn’t alw8ys have to 8e in the s8me pl8ce, dummy! Some of us have other things to do and other sights to see. Much 8etter stuff than a stupid old hive if you ask me.”

Dave laughed. “He left you didn’t he? Just up and floated off like a parachute on the gust of “Adventure Blows Here” and left.”

Vriska’s wings shot out behind her, fluttering in irritation. “It was totally 8ooooooooring, ok8y? What could you do 8ut just sit there d8y after d8y and talk and pull pr8nks? Totally l8me.”

“Wait, are you guys talking about… me?” John cut in.

“Kind of. A totally different version of you. The you that would’ve died if you’d actually went to face the Denizen and game-over’d like a dumbass.”

“You’re a million and one times 8etter, John. The other guy was an idiot.”

“I… don’t know how I feel about that,” John frowned. “Since he was sort of still me.”

Vriska jumped to her feet. “Ugh. This entire convers8tion has me 8ored out of my mind. J8de, come on. Let’s go hunt something really 8ig!”

“Dave just got here, Vriska. That’s sort of rude,” Jade chided her.

 “You’re my 8ACKUP. I can’t very well go out there and just fight monsters on my own, now can I? What would happen if I get hurt? I can’t drag my own self 8ack. If you were out there alone I’d feel the same w8y. ‘Oh how is J8de? Did she get hurt? Did she get injured? Is she dead?’ I can’t 8elieve you don’t feel the s8me w8y. THAT’S rude. And 8esides, who’s ever heard of a hero going without her sidekick? It looks dum8.”

“It’s okay. Go on. I’ll stay with Dave,” John nudged Jade. She turned to him, frowning, but he gave her another look that made her change her mind, jumping up. Obviously they’d developed a whole secret sibling series of looks since they’d been together. He sort of felt left out.

“Sorry, Dave. We’ll talk soon, okay?” Jade smiled at him. But they both knew there was no guarantee of that. This was the first time they’d even managed to find each other in months in dream bubble space, and it was through the help of a selfish, motively-questionable dead alien.

“Keep safe,” Dave told her, not only meaning in the future, but also just on whatever excursion she and Vriska were going on. The girl was volatile; she’d probably be just as willing to stab Jade in the back as she would whatever monsters she was trying to get them to hunt. Jade smiled back at him, stretching out her fingers as five worlds popped onto them, circling around one another. Then she snapped her fist closed. He got the message. She was powerful now and could handle herself.

The girls left.

He and John sat in brief silence for a second, turning to stare over the rift. John kicked his legs, letting a bit of rubble fall down into the opening. “How’ve you been?” John asked.

“I told you how I’ve been.”

“You didn’t really say anything. You were just all ‘it’s a circus’ and ‘I burned up your rap’ which, oh by the way, is bullshit.”

“Wow talk about fucking skeptic.”

“Not saying that you didn’t do it, Dave. But if you wanted to actually give me a rap you could’ve rapped it to all of us. Not like you don’t memorize them all anyway.”

“Fine, you busted me. You happy? I’m swimming in trepidation and untruths here, dude.”

John crossed his arms and turned away, raising his legs to rest his chin on his knees. “…I missed you. You have this kind of humor that lights up the room, even in its total weird way. Davesprite is almost like you but… not. He’s too much bird. He goes and sleeps for a few hours at a time and then perches on top of stuff, just watching everything. And it’s really disconcerting to just see your best friend up there preening himself.”

John paused. Dave waited.

“I’m just saying that it’s weird to see you unhappy.”

“I’m unhappy?”

“Well you’re not happy are you?” John looked at him with those orbs that him and his ecto-sister shared. Dave had to look away to not feel like he was being x-ray examined by… niceness.

“I’m happy enough, I mean…” Dave gave a short huff of laughter. “Things are cool, man. There’s nothing wrong. Everything’s okay.”

“Really.”

Dave was silent for a moment. “… You remember Karkat?”

“The crazy angry troll who spoke in all caps?”

“Yeah. Him. We fight now. Every day. We just go up on this platform no one ever goes and beat the shit out of each other and get all our frustration out. It’s not even for sparring practice. Can’t even tell if it’s normal or just fucked up anymore. And then sometimes I have these dreams…” He trailed off on describing them, just letting that ellipsis speak for itself.

John frowned. Dave shrugged and added, “Usually I’d be telling Rose all this shit but she hasn’t exactly been available lately. Or very willing to listen with her whole projects of epic and important monitoring proportions going on.”

John grinned at him. Dave eyed him. Maybe it was a bad idea to even tell John this. I mean John was his best bro and all but he could seriously be a bit of a goober. What if he didn’t even get what he was talking about? But when John opened his mouth he could see he might be wrong. “When I used to be really pissed off at something or angry at my Dad for doing another one of his lame jokes, you know what I did?”

“Sat in your room surrounded by clowns and cried in a corner?”

“Ha. Very funny. I would go out and pull pranks!”

“So you’re saying I should start being a prankster. We already have one of those. I don’t think we need another on the rock, trust me.”

“No, not pranks. Just doing something you wanna do. Having fun. I mean, if stuff isn’t going your way make it go your way, you know? Make it into what you want it to be.”

He thought about Rose and her all-seeing eye. “That might be kinda hard.”

“You’re Dave Strider, the guy who totally snatched The Tumor and took it to blow up the Green Sun. The guy who’s circled so many timelines and died more times than any of us. The dude who lived four months in a doomed timeline and then jumped ship and prototyped himself so that we could all succeed. I thought you were the person who was the epitome of “cool,” able to do anything.”

“Well duh.”

John laughed. Dave rolled his eyes.

“Then can you stop looking like your grandma just died?”

“That’s major ironic coming from you.”

“In the best way, right?”

Dave let out a short laugh. “I miss you, John. The meteor isn’t the same without you and Jade. You’d seriously kick this prankster’s ass too. They wouldn’t even know what was coming.”

John laughed and took a half-bow. “I am kind of the ruling king when it comes to pranks and joke-gags. When Jade finally figures out a loophole in this whole space system we’ll visit each other, alright? I have so many things to show you. And I’d like a gamer buddy that can actually game. Jade’s not too into it yet. And Davesprite is too uh… unavailable sometimes. Then when I visit you can show me all this prankster business.”

“Not only that, some of the trolls are absolutely insane. You’ll love ‘em. And did I mention I have a _mwah-rail_ now?”

“Wait, with one of the trolls? When did _that_ happen?”

“It just kind of happened. And she asked me so I said yes. It’s really weird so far. Well, not really. Just a lot of hugs.”

John laughed. “Dave, the hug master.”

“The fucking master of everything are you seriously even surprised right now.”

John laughed, then paused. “I’m feeling that tug that probably means I’m about to wake up soon.”

“Damn.”

“It was really good to talk to you again.”

“You too. And Jade. Wish I could say a real goodbye to her but she disappeared to who the fuck knows where with crazy blue vixen of the beyond.”

“She’ll be fine. She’s done this before. Vriska seems to like adventuring with her or something.”

“She is a pretty cool cat. Or I guess I should say dog, now?”

“I won’t tell her you completely mis-creatured her.”

“Thanks.”

John randomly jumped up and one-arm hugged him. Talk about attracting a load of hugs lately. He was seriously going to level up to the master of hugs rung soon, no joke. “See ya soon, hopefully.”

“Yeah, same.” They fist-bumped and immediately afterwards John popped out of dream-existence.

Dave jumped up, stretched, and made his way back. Except that he couldn’t quite remember where he came from, so he just went wherever felt best. Not too long afterwards, he started to catch a glimmer, and when he went towards it, it elongated into a familiar, dark scene. Red blood glistened at him, beckoning, and a body came into view, white shirt stained with blood, a sword in the middle of its torso.

Dave wanted to take a step back but he couldn’t move. Instead he just stood there as the scene seemed to grow in front of him, venturing closer and closer. A chill crept around his shoulders. In the closing distance, a cawing laugh circled in his ears with the rhythmic grind of gears from his old planet, LOHAC, turning on themselves.

The body’s head started to turn over, slowly rolling to face him. It stared at him, with bright white eyes—a gouged out white—and its mouth opened as blood pooled out, starting to form a word.  Its tongue moved as it stared at him. Da…

“Boo!” A face popped down in front of him as a girl with blond curls and a jumpsuit dropped upside-down before him, bubblegum pink lips spreading into a grin. He hadn’t even felt her creep into the vicinity. He leapt back, fingers grasping for his sword, as their eyes locked for a moment. She looked kinda familiar. Did he know her from somewhere? He no longer had time to dwell on it as the ground slid from under him and tossed him back into thin air.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He collapsed onto—nothing. He was already lying down. So instead he jerked up, sitting still and perfectly straight for a moment before yanking his covers off. He leapt up, grabbed the quickest and shittiest sword he could reach, and padded out of his room in time-record speed.

Rose must’ve had alarms set on all the doors, because as soon as he stepped a foot into the hallway, she came out of her room and walked right behind him.

“It’s after curfew. I have to request that you return to your quarters until breakfast time, Dave.”

“Who gives a shit about curfew.”

“…Dave?”

He twirled around and his sword flung in a wide arc as well. Her eyes darted to it as she automatically took a step back.

“You could injure someone with that. Captchalogue it.”

“Or else?”

“This isn’t up for debate.”

“Nothing’s up for debate anymore. It’s only your way or your way. Do you realize how fucked up that is, Lalonde? We can’t even have lives.”

“Everyone else is adjusting to it perfectly fine.”

“Yeah, that’s what you think. I bet they’re all getting to be little secret messed up head-cases too. I mean seriously. I get the need for rules and shit but I can’t breathe.”

“I’m trying to maintain a balance here, Dave. It is a very delicate process and can be interrupted at just the slightest hint of upset. So far it’s been working perfectly.”

“So because people aren’t rioting in the hallways you think it’s working? It’s not working for me. How about that? I feel like I want to crush something to pieces and I just had one of the worst dreams of my life sneak up on me again and I want to go out to strife. So I’m gonna go do that.”

“You can’t.”

“Why not?”

“If I give you preferential treatment everyone will start to think that there are loopholes. And then what I’m aiming for will be ruined. You can come into my room and we can discuss the dreams if you’d like. I think you need someone to talk with.”

“I don’t want to talk, Rose. I want to go outside and… fucking hurt something. Maybe I’ll fight a bunch of doomed Daves and then we’ll all just up and murder each other. That’d be nice.”

“Dave.” Rose gave him a sharp look that he tried to avoid, but in this narrow strip of space between their rooms, he really couldn’t. “Don’t. You promised.”

Dave didn’t answer her, turning around and taking off down the hallway instead. Since there were no footsteps coming after him, he assumed that she didn’t move from her space, just watching him walk away instead. He was almost around the corner when a sudden force hit him like a gigantic fist and slammed him against the wall. As he touched the floor he was immediately bound in invisible robes. He raised his head as Rose walked over to him, wands out.

She raised them, tracing letters on the air. He felt a searing heat in his forehead as his head was carved into. Then she flicked a wand once and stood back. “There. Your punishment. I don’t allow insubordination or disobedience, even in a brother. Not in this instance, Dave. And definitely not for that reason.”

With another whoosh of her wands, Dave was lifted into the air and zoomed back to his doorway, where he glared at her from behind the shield of his glasses. “I suppose this is goodnight,” she added. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

She dropped him in the room and unbound him, shutting his door with a slam.

xXxXxXxXxXx

In the morning when he reawoke after a dreamless sleep, he padded to the bathroom as usual, stepping into the shower. Afterwards, he stepped out, looking in the mirror. And stared.

Not only had she indeed carved letters into his forehead (a flourish of her initials, RL), she had also made another change. He was now bright purple.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He’d scrubbed and scrubbed, even gone back in time to see if he could tell what kind of spell she put on him or if he could find a way to block or reverse it—without getting caught by her and getting messed up even worse of course—but he couldn’t figure it out. Damn Lalonde.

So he had to make his way to breakfast looking like a fur-less Teletubby and hope that she’d reverse it soon. Breakfast was as much of a spectacle as could be expected. Snorts of laughter burst out as soon as he entered the door, and though he tried to pass it off as a cool, ironic gesture as if he’d done it himself, the huge RL stamped into his forehead probably ruined the effect.

Rose just sat at the head of the table and smiled at him. She didn’t even have to say anything. As she turned to Kanaya, engaging in whatever small talk they were having, Dave had to admit that his sister was good. Very good.

He met Gamzee’s gaze across the table, who looked amused and nodded at him with pleasure, and then his eyes scoped Karkat’s. Karkat was staring at his new complexion with an expression that looked torn between distaste and amusement. When their eyes finally met, Dave raised his eyebrows at him, looking up to the platform. Karkat frowned but nodded. Dave leaned back, content.

“1M GU3SS1NG YOU D1DNT W4K3 UP TH1S MORN1NG 4ND D3C1D3 P4ST3L SK1N P41NT W4S 1N,” Terezi muttered into his ear.

“I got a bit bored. Thought I needed a makeover,” he murmured back, turning towards her.

Terezi stared silently for a few moments. Then she leaned towards him, sniffing softly. “TH1S H4S L4LOND3S H4NDWR1T1NG 4LL OV3R 1T. QU1T3 L1T3R4LLY.” She poked his forehead.

“The new boss doesn’t like when someone tries to overstep their boundaries.”

“HMM.”

Dave knew that ‘HMM’ by now. He was starting to get to know all of her tones. This one spoke of mischief. He was proven correct when she stood up seconds later, thumping her cane across the table. Rose’s head popped up.

“Terezi. Do you have something that you wish to share?”

“TH3 D3F3NS3 TH1NKS TH3R3 1S 4 PROBL3M W1TH TH3 P3N4LTY TH4T H4S B33N 3N4CT3D UPON TH3 CH4RG3D D3F3ND3NT 1N TH1S C4S3 YOUR HONOR.”

“The head judge assures the defense that the act was completely justified and suited to the crime. If it were anyone else they would have received the same.”

“TH3 D3F3NS3 WOND3RS 1F TH3R3 W3R3 4 D1FF3R3NT PUN1SHM3NT TH4T WOULD FULF1LL TH3 R3QU1R3D 4DMON1T1ON 4ND ST1LL M4K3 4N 3X4MPL3 OUT OF TH3 CH4RG3, WH1L3 P3RH4PS B31NG L3SS… 4PP4R3NT.”

“That would defeat the purpose of the punishment altogether.”

“TH3N TH3 D3F3NSE PROPOS3S 4 CH4LL3NG3. 4 F41R 4ND OBJ3CT1V3 R3SOLUT1ON.” They waited as Terezi pulled out a coin, showcasing it to Rose. “1F TH3 CO1N L4NDS ON H34DS, TH3N YOUR D3C1S1ON ST4YS. BUT 1F 1T L4NDS ON T41LS, TH3N YOU W1LL DROP TH3 PUN1SHM3NT 4ND SOLV3 TH3 1SSU3 4NOTH3R W4Y.”

“…Very well.”

Terezi grinned broadly. She flipped the coin up in the air. It spun for what seemed like an endless amount of time, and then finally dropped down towards the table. Terezi caught it on her fist and flipped it over, peeking at it, before showing it to the table. Her face dropped.

“H34DS.”

“Well then,” Rose stated, leaning back. “I guess my original decision stays.”

“1T WOULD S33M SO.” Terezi took a seat once more, frowning.

“Thanks for trying.”

Terezi was silent, but when she glanced back up at him he could see a twinkle in her eye. What was she planning? She must have known that she wouldn’t win; she was a Seer as well, after all. And Rose probably knew it too, which was why she didn’t mind playing. Then why bring it up in the first place?

Oh well. He didn’t dwell on it. Terezi would tell him eventually. Right now he was thinking of another mystery, of exactly how much blood he was about to get on his knuckles after this.

 xXxXxXxXxXx

Karkat snuck onto the platform about fifteen minutes after he did, an eye cocked behind him to watch out for anyone. When he was satisfied that he wasn’t followed, he turned around to face Dave.

“You took your time.”

“WELL SOME OF US TRY TO AVOID NOTICE AND NOT TURN A SICKENING SHADE OF PURPLE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.”

“It’s called lavender,” Dave joked back, fixing his glasses. He brought out his sword. Karkat’s sickles popped into his hands immediately after.

“WHY’D  YOU WANNA MEET HERE SO EARLY ANYWAY?”

“Less talking, more strifing. Unless you’re really in a mood to get whooped,” Dave said, flash-stepping into action.

Karkat blocked his first few attacks pretty easily, before finally spinning and aiming a counter-attack of his own that would’ve gotten Dave if he hadn’t been anticipating something of the sort. Karkat tried a few more slashes and strikes that Dave dodged. He flash-stepped around to the troll’s back, trying to attack a vulnerable side, but apparently he was still too predictable because Karkat managed to block it and push him back. Dammit.

The troll tried to take the attacks to close range, where he’d have the most advantage due to strength, and Dave managed to keep him at bay with swift attacks of his own sword. It was when he flash-stepped again that Karkat got him, sneaking in a cut to his legs with his sickles. Fuck. He felt the blood start to drip on his calves.

He feinted an attack to Karkat’s side and attacked him from behind instead, kicking his back. The troll went down with a heavy oof. He tried rolling away, but Dave caught him before he could, pressing him to the ground and grabbing a hold of one of his horns. He pressed on its base, digging into Karkat’s skull.

The other boy howled and reacted, slashing Dave’s face with his claws. Though he managed to avoid the brunt of it, he could still feel the blood start running down his forehead. Two bloody strikes for Karkat. Time for payback. Dave punched him.

They wrestled on the ground, totally forgetting about their weapons. He punched and kicked and kneed Karkat, who did the same back to him, digging in his claws in soft spots he thought would hurt. Dave kept punching him, not caring much if his knuckles were getting mangled and raw, and scratched him right back, deep enough that he drew blood. Then, as Karkat’s hands were freed enough to wrap themselves around Dave’s neck, choking him as the troll leaned up to bite his earlobe, Dave growled and bit back, tearing into Karkat’s jaw. While his teeth definitely weren’t as sharp as a troll’s, he made sure they did the trick by adding in a bit of pressure.

As he felt claws dig into his stomach in a painful jerk, he was certain that it worked. Then Karkat freed himself, butting into his chest with his horns. Ow. They might be stubby nubs but they were still hard enough to hurt.

He slid back, trying to retreat, but Karkat pinned him down, pressing a recovered sickle to his neck. His knee lingered over Dave’s groin.

“NOW WHO’S THE LOSER? I HOPE YOU BROUGHT A CHANGE OF PANTS.”

“Oh come on you can’t just say something like that. That’s so lame at this point. Completely cliché.”

“ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CRITIQUING MY INSULTS RIGHT NOW?”

“Compared to your usual ones? Just getting worried that your brain’s rusting.”

Karkat’s knee pressed into his groin, just enough to make it painful.

“OW. Okay okay I’m defeated. You win. Now get the fuck off me you lumpsack.”

Karkat let up, rolling off to slump down beside him. Dave looked over at him. Blood was covering his clothes; bruises were starting to form on his face and arms. He knew he didn’t look much better. His eye stung from blood. He wiped it off his face.

“SO WHAT MADE YOU NEED TO COME HERE SO BAD?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’M NOT BLIND. WHENEVER YOU’RE REALLY PISSED ABOUT SOMETHING YOU GO AND STRIFE IT OFF. YOU MAY THINK I NEED TO WORK OFF MY ANGER BUT LATELY YOU’VE NEEDED IT WAY MORE THAN ME. PLUS YOU’RE RADIATING SO MUCH PURPLE THAT I’M STARTING TO SEE SPOTS. OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING HAPPENED.”

When Dave didn’t reply after a full minute, Karkat lifted himself up to look at him. Dave kept his eyes on the space before him. He finally asked, “You ever have dreams about your Lusus?”

A pause before Karkat answered. “I GUESS. SOMETIMES.”

“It just throws me off because every time I see him now, he dies. It’s not even the real him. Like if he were dead and I saw him I’d probably be relieved, you know? But no, it’s the same stupid specter I saw on the base of that record, dying over and over again and I just come in either too late or super early or right on time but either way I can’t save him and it’s really really fucked. I’m this powerful. I’m freaking godtier. I’ve practically reached all the levels. But I still can’t fix that thing from happening, even in a dream. And then he turns towards me and just stares at me, every single time. He blames me. That I was helpless and I couldn’t do anything to save him. And I can’t even fix it.” He finally said it. Finally told someone something he couldn’t even tell John or Rose or Terezi. It felt kinda like a load was dropped off his shoulders but it also felt like it was finally concrete now. Like it wasn’t just his imagination but some actual haunting thing that was plaguing him.

“IF IT WERE THAT EASY I’D HAVE FIXED MY LUSUS TOO. AND MADE SURE THAT HE DIDN’T DIE IN THE FIRST PLACE.” Brief silence. “DOES COMING OUT HERE HELP YOU? BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF PEOPLE. OR OUT OF YOURSELF?”

“…It helps me get stronger.”

“YEAH. BUT DOES IT HELP YOU?”

“I don’t know. It feels good.”

Karkat’s eyes drifted over Dave’s face, frowning. Dave’s eyes scoped his face in return, from behind the shades. After a few moments, Dave started to laugh.

“WHAT?”

“We look like shit.”

“WE DID SAY THAT WE WOULDN’T HIT EACH OTHER IN VISIBLE AREAS.”

“Yeah, I think we screwed that one up didn’t we?”

Karkat scowled and got to his feet. He gestured toward Dave. “COME ON.”

“Where are we going?”

“MY CLOWN CAN HELP US.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

They snuck around the corridors, trying to avoid anyone who might spot them, using Karkat’s blankets for cover. They might not help them escape Rose’s orb, physically speaking, but at least they wouldn’t be caught with scrapes and bruises on their body just yet and face an interrogation from her. Dave didn’t know what was worse than being lavender, but he didn’t want to find out.

Come to think of it, it was pretty weird that she’d let their fighting go on, but not any other violent or mischievous activity around the meteor. And she’d never addressed it either. Very suspicious. What was going on there? As he entered Gamzee’s rooms, the question faded from his mind.

Dave automatically kept an eye out for the clown, not wanting an ambush to be his official morning greeting today, but there was no sight of Gamzee. His heads were firmly back in place on their counter. Tavros’ head was on a pedestal in the center. Dave stared at its bug-eyed expression for a second, before following Karkat on.

Karkat led him into the back room he’d noticed before, which was full of piles of horns, a few computers—half-ripped open like someone was servicing them, probably Karkat—several stale pies, and accessories littered around.

“HERE’S WHERE HE KEEPS HIS MAKEUP.”

Karkat opened a drawer under the mess of computer parts and pies and pulled out a few jars of stuff, brushes, pencils, another set of makeup in a handheld case, and a few of what could only be called tubes of lipstick. Dave had been under the impression that Gamzee just sort of slathered on white and grey paint and rolled with it, but apparently not.

“What’s all this stuff for?”

“BASE, LINER, TOUCH-UPS, LIP CREAMS AND MOISTURIZERS, COLOR, AND SOME STUFF TO APPLY IT,” Karkat replied, pointing to each object in turn.

Dave stared.

“WHAT? YOU LEARN THIS STUFF WHEN YOU ROOM WITH AN INDIGO.”

“So we can use it? He’ll be okay with that?”

“HE’D BETTER. I’M NOT GETTING BUSTED BY THE SEER BECAUSE WE SHOW UP LOOKING LIKE WE’VE BEEN FED TO A SCHOOL OF CARNIVOROUS FISH AND SPIT BACK OUT AGAIN. NOW SIT DOWN. I’M GONNA APPLY IT.”

Dave looked for a seat in the confusion and eventually settled on a horn pile, a loud HONK blurting out from underneath him until he shifted. Karkat popped the top on one of the jars, dipping a few fingers into the goop. He slathered the white goop all over Dave’s face. It actually didn’t feel as wet as it looked, just kind of heavy. Karkat spread it out, causing Dave to wince as he got it in some of his wounds. He probably did it on purpose. Bastard.

The troll flicked a claw against his sunglasses with an annoyed click. “DON’T YOU EVER TAKE THESE ANNOYING THINGS OFF?”

“Nope.”

“IT WOULD MAKE THIS A HELL OF A LOT EASIER.”

“Just work around them. What you can’t see others won’t either.”

Karkat’s fingers slipped underneath his frames to paint the skin around his eyes, and Dave could’ve sworn that he kept trying to poke him in the eye because he was forced to snap his eyes shut a few times. When Karkat pulled his fingers away, Dave flicked a finger against his jaw and pushed him away. Karkat pushed him back. Then they had a tiny bit of a slapping and shoving fight before they finally pulled away and dropped it. Karkat continued with the makeup application, no longer trying to stab him in places it would hurt.

Karkat applied the liner on his brows and lips, where Dave guessed the grey would go. The grey goop was finally applied, and after some touch-ups on his face—it was some powdery substance rather than the pastey goop, which Dave guessed would make it look less… shiny?—and moisturizing cream to make his lips more grey, Karkat was done.

He sat back to survey the results, reaching up to flip some of Dave’s hair that had gotten mussed. Dave automatically smacked his hand away, grabbing a mirror. He paused, staring at the reflection. He looked totally different. Even different than the fish-troll he’d dressed up as for the dance. Karkat had done his makeup almost like a skeleton, letting his shades be the eye-sockets, and his blond hair shown weirdly in contrast to the white and grey. Dave liked it.

He fixed his hair, turning back to Karkat. “Alright, your turn.”

“TRY TO ACTUALLY BE GOOD AT THIS.”

“I know what I’m doing. You don’t have to worry about your precious face.” Despite the fact that he didn’t even know what half the stuff was twenty minutes ago, he thought he could handle this.

Dave repeated the same steps Karkat had done to him, sort of feeling weird about having the guy literally in his hands and sort of enjoying it too. He could practically do anything to him. This must be how Egbert felt when he pulled pranks. But Dave didn’t think a prank would be the suitable option for this moment.

He decided to make Karkat’s makeup resemble a panda, since it was appropriately “cute” enough to be ironic against Karkat’s angry exterior. Though Karkat probably wouldn’t know what it was well enough to be properly offended by it. As he ran his fingertips over the troll’s skin, he admired the feel of it. Hard and rough. Only soft parts were around his eyes and lips. More pliable than you’d think. Dave started messing with his cheeks for a bit, squeezing them back and forth and up and down, and Karkat growled and nearly bit his thumb off. Right. Enough distractions.

When he finished with Karkat’s lips, actually applying the lipstick on him that he’d refused for himself—a grey like Karkat’s preferred anonymous blood color, not the indigo of Gamzee’s—and ruffled Karkat’s hair in turn—it was rough and wiry and sprung out in weird tufts from his head—Dave leaned back to find Karkat giving him a strange look.

“You’re all painted and made up. No control-happy witches should jump us like a couple of pathetic broomsticks.”

“THANKS.”

“It was your idea.”

“NO I MEAN… THANKS. FOR EVERYTHING. THIS, THE FIGHTS, THE CONVERSATIONS, KNOCKING ME OUT OF MY STUPOR TO BE LEADER AGAIN IN THE FIRST PLACE, EVEN IF I’M THE SHITTIEST INEFFECTUAL ONE IN THE HISTORY OF THE COSMOS—AND NO DON’T INTERRUPT I’M STILL TALKING—“ Karkat put a finger over the mouth that Dave had just opened. “I’M SAYING THAT YOU’RE NOT TOTALLY AN ASSHOLE AFTER ALL. SO THANKS.”

“…I guess you’re not exactly bad company either. Bit of a huge hothead, someone could probably float an air balloon on you, but you’re alright.”

Karkat narrowed his eyes at that. Dave smirked.

 “DeCiDeD To gEt yOuR FaCePaInT On, BrOtHeRs?”

Gamzee stood in the doorway, eyes lidded, roaming over each of their faces in turn. His eyes flicked to his makeup set and back again. Karkat stood up, hands automatically in “pap” position. Dave remained alert, in case Gamzee decided to attack him for using his stuff without his permission. But Gamzee stepped closer and yanked them both into a tight hug, grinning over their shoulders.

“iM AlWaYs wIlLiNg tO ShArE. wHy dIdNt yOu lEt mE KnOw, PaLeBrO?”

xXxXxXxXxXx

The three reclined on a pile in the middle of the outer room, watching a movie on Gamzee’s husktop. It was totally different from the times Dave had watched movies with Terezi, namely because the movie was entirely in Alternian and there was no translation, but also because Gamzee had decided to unveil his latest confectionary creation—a sopor substitute he’d created and naturally, baked it into a rather massive pie.

“It’s pReTtY MoThErFuCkIn sPeCtAcUlAr iF YoU AsK Me.”

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THAT STUFF ROTS YOUR PAN. WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT?”

“mY PaN’S AlReAdY RoTtEd, BrO. tHiS AiNt gOnNa mAkE It wOrSe. AnD It aInT EvEn tHe rEaL StUfF AnYwAy.”

“I DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU FOUND ON THIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF A METEOR TO MAKE IT.”

Gamzee grinned then turned his head, sliding the pie into Dave’s face. “yOu wAnT AnY?”

It smelled like one of Gamzee’s miracles, like a unicorn had just popped into existence in front of them and started tapping an Irish clap dance and throwing rainbows and gold their way. That analogy barely made any sense. But the point was it smelled fucking delicious, just like all the other pies Gamzee and Rose had made, and Dave’s stomach was growling. He missed it. Whatever else was in it sure wasn’t evident enough for him to care.

“Sure.”

Dave tore off a piece and took a bite. To his side, Karkat grimaced. Dave ignored him as he tasted it. It didn’t taste too much different, just a slight bitter twang to it, and nothing immediate happened to his senses or anything. He finished up the slice.

“GoOd rIgHt?”

“Hell fucking yes,” Dave said as he took another.

Gamzee dug into his own slice, a much larger portion than either of Dave’s two pieces, and devoured it with a languorous expression on his face. Karkat groaned, scowling at both of them, and returned back to the movie.

Soon Dave started to feel it. Colors were brighter, sounds were sharper, and everything was a heck of a lot more interesting than it probably would have normally been. He couldn’t believe how he didn’t just notice some things, small things, like he’d just been too caught up in the world of his own thoughts to just sit and notice some of the really cool shit around him. He already knew what the subject of his next rap was gonna be.

Gamzee started talking through the movie, leaning against Dave as he gestured up to the ceiling, pointing to each scratch in its surface and the magnificent texture and skill that it must’ve taken to get there. What would you have to do to even make it? Gamzee was the tallest one out of all of them and he’d still have a hard time reaching even if he jumped. Throwing a blunt object like a club wouldn’t work. Neither would trying to scrape the ceiling with one of Dave’s swords. Even Karkat’s sickles wouldn’t quite reach the right angle.

Gamzee started theorizing on how some alien creatures before them had come and scraped their fingernails across it. And when he turned to them and started making faces on what he imagined these motherfucking miraculous beings would look like, Dave couldn’t help it. He rolled over and started to laugh. Karkat tried not to crack a smile, but couldn’t help it either. He turned back to the movie that no one was watching anymore with a fake scowl on his face. So Gamzee yanked him back, pulling him further onto the pile with him and Dave into snuggle position.

Gamzee’s fingernails started tracing patterns on Dave’s belly, which Dave watched with slightly interested eyes. Gamzee traced his way up, from his belly, to his sternum, to his neck, and finally to his face. He traced more patterns on his forehead, swooping and circling, then slid down the bridge of his nose, over to his cheeks and back again. Dave cocked an eyebrow at him.

Gamzee stared at him for a few moments and Dave wasn’t quite expecting it when Gamzee leaned down to kiss him. It was hard and rough and Gamzee’s teeth scraped against his lips as his hands brushed over his shoulders, pinning him down. Dave thought about maneuvering for control, but figured what was the point when he was enjoying it. So he just rolled with it and let Gamzee kiss, bite and dig his nails into the back of his shoulders and he reciprocated.

Then the clown pulled away and Karkat was staring at them both, a half-angry, half-uncertain expression on his face. Gamzee grinned at him and leaned over to kiss him too. As Gamzee pulled back, Karkat was staring at him, stunned. Bet he wasn’t expecting that from his moirail. Then Gamzee shoved him towards Dave. The other boy almost fell on top of him. They stared at each other.

Dave hesitated, suddenly feeling weird about this. Though he hadn’t even questioned Gamzee, somehow kissing Karkat would be weird. Even in this state. And Karkat looked at him rather hesitantly too. So before either of them thought about it too much Dave leaned in and pressed his lips to Karkat’s.

This kiss was totally different from Gamzee’s rough one. It was full of hesitance and nervousness and slight angry nips mixed in with actual feel-good long smooches. Dave rolled Karkat over in the pile, pressing him against the piled horns as he kissed him harder, and Karkat’s claws scraped his jaw in warning against taking too much control. Dave just blew into Karkat’s ear, causing the troll to growl, and then kissed him again. He could taste the makeup on Karkat’s mouth and Karkat could probably taste some of the baked sopor-substitute on his tongue, seriously where did Gamzee get this? He had to get more. It was freakin awesome.

Their hands fumbled over each other’s chests, grinding and groping and Dave tried to slide a hand under Karkat’s shirt at the same time as Karkat was trying to pull his shirt off. It led for a rather awkward series of movements and then they both had to pause and rethink things.

Dave’s hand went first, feeling all the scars and scrapes that were recent, from his and Karkat’s strifes. Karkat’s tongue ran over the inside of his lip. Mmm.

He paused as Karkat pushed him back, frowning at him. “IS THIS JUST BECAUSE YOU ATE THAT STUFF?”

“No. I mean…” He frowned at Karkat. God that was a heavy thing to think about while he was like this. C’mon now. “I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

Karkat narrowed his eyes, apparently trying to decipher his answer, and Dave’s attention went from Karkat’s eyes—which were even more flecked with red now; it was pretty freakin amazing and you could almost get lost in them—to the notable lack of another presence. He looked around.

“Where’s Gamzee?”

Karkat leaned up, looking around as well. Then his eyes scoped the ground. “WHEREVER HE WENT HE TOOK THE PIE WITH HIM. I THINK HE’S PROBABLY CONTENT.”

Dave laughed. Karkat looked back at him and shoved him. “I WAS SERIOUS.”

“Yeah, so was I. You don’t think I’m serious just because I can currently see a million possibilities lined out like stars in my eyes right now and you’re only trapped in one even if it doesn’t make a hell of sense and is way too cliché. Think outside of the box, Karkat.”

“YOU’RE NOT EVEN MAKING ANY SENSE. LET ME TAKE YOU BACK TO YOUR ROOM BEFORE YOU GET DISTRACTED BY A GLIMMER ON THE GROUND AND JUST STAND THERE ALL NIGHT STARING AT IT.”

“I’m just saying you need to see the bigger picture. You’re like this moth getting entranced by the light and totally not realizing it’s a huge fucking death trap, man, and ten of your other cousins are just stuck inside banging their fists for you to help but you can’t even hear them. Maybe you should’ve eaten some pie. I think it would’ve broadened your horizons.”

“TO SEE WHAT EXACTLY? THAT MY ANNOYING, FLUTTERING BUG MATES ARE TOAST JUST LIKE I AM AND WHETHER I TRY TO SAVE THEM OR NOT WE’RE ALL GONNA BE STUCK IN THE GLITTERY BOX?”

“To see your options.”

Karkat quieted. Dave leaned in again to continue where they left off, but Karkat dodged, turning away.

Dave shrugged, standing up with a slight stagger as he re-figured out the meaning of balance, and gave a half-bow to the troll. The same one John had given to him earlier actually. “Goodnight.”

He turned around and left to search for Terezi.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He looked for her for a while, but couldn’t find her. Even waited in her lair for a bit for her to appear but she didn’t show up. Wherever she was or whatever she was doing she obviously planned to be doing it a while. It wasn’t the first time that she’d disappeared on him since the whole intensive schedule-lockdown thing, but usually he’d been too preoccupied with exploring the meteor or getting down on his own projects that he hadn’t noticed it that much. He waited a bit longer, but when she still didn’t show up, he gave up and went back to his room.

He spun his turntables, working on that new rap in his head. His music sounded godly in his ears. If it wasn’t too brash to say so, and he didn’t think it was because it was true, he was seriously a musical genius right now.

He popped open a celebratory Faygo and pack of Gushers—usually he didn’t like these things but right now he felt like they were the perfect treat—and lost himself in the beats.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Hands slid into the black gloves with a taut snap. They bent to pick up the can of paint, bright red, sloshing in a way that was almost taunting. The black figure turned, looking back.

Dave leapt over a mound, ripping past the black curtain that billowed up into his way, giving chase. The black figure took off with a sprint, unbelievably fast, hopping over rocks and sliding past the black curtains that were the makeup of this land. Dave even had trouble keeping up.

Two hands clapped his shoulders and he looked to his left, then his right, to see a few other Daves nodding at him. They took off, flash-stepping faster than he could in his tired state, and he trotted behind them.

As they caught up with the Perp, the Daves engaged in a fight, four on one. The Perp actually ducked and dived and weaved through it rather well. They blocked attacks with their can, paint flying through the air, and kicked back flash-attacks of their own, spinning and whipping through the air. Then a black baton appeared and they wielded that even more craftily. The Daves dodged and jumped out of its way.

Dave raced towards them, pulling out Caledscratch as he ran, and he jumped up into a high lunge, aiming for the stooped form of the Perp. A baton met his sword. A hand grabbed his arm, ready to flip him, but he twisted out of it, spinning into a kick instead. The Perp flew back, sliding across the ground. And he could’ve sworn that he saw a glimmer of excitement there, within the black folds that were covering them. The Perp leapt up from the ground just in time to block attacks from the other Daves.

They all kicked and thrust and sliced and tried to outmaneuver the others to get a critical hit in but to no success. The Perp slid out from their circle, emerging on the other side and hopping away. The black figure spun, shooting them twinkling laughter and a grin. They mouthed the words, “Follow Me,” and then took off behind the veil of more curtains, racing into the blackness.

Dave woke up.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He was stretched out across the turntables on his bed. He’d probably fallen asleep sometime in his beats-making process. He’d also apparently slept off his entire high, since his head felt totally clear now. But the only thing that was racing through it was: The prankster was on the move and he could catch them.

He leapt out of bed and flash-stepped to the door, not wasting any time. He yanked it open.

Someone cleared her throat. Oh come on, he didn’t have time for this.

Dave spun around to meet Rose, who gave him a weary look. “Do I have to do something worse than purple?”

“Don’t have time for idle words, Rose.”

“So says the guy who has all the time in the world.”

“They’re moving. Like a flash street fair that’s the spectacle of the whole year but only happens that one day for a few hours and if you miss it bam you’re out of luck. If I don’t get there they’ll be gone.”

“Who?”

“The person responsible for everything that’s been going on. They’re moving now.”

“And how do you know that?”

“I had a dream. They were taunting me.”

Rose frowned. Dave turned, already starting to walk. He didn’t have time for this. Behind him, Rose said, “Alright. Let’s go.”

Dave turned around in surprise. She nodded, walking towards him. Maybe she wasn’t so bent on this whole keeping-the-peace thing that she ignored everyone else after all. Or maybe she just really wanted to catch this person. They took off together.

It occurred to Dave that he should probably grab Terezi, but by the time they got her it could be done and over. The prank at the dance showed that the prankster could set up in less than a minute. He guessed Terezi would have to miss out on this bust. Shame.

“How do we know where they’ll be?” Rose asked him.

“They’re not gonna hide.”

Rose brought out her orb, whispering Gamzee’s name. It showed a sleeping figure on a maze of horns. She muttered WV’s. Blank. So that’s what she was talking about when she said she couldn’t see anything. Weird. Then she whispered Kanaya’s. The image that was coming into view abruptly faded, replaced by a black line. Rose stared at it. Dave guessed that wasn’t supposed to happen. A malfunction? Then the line expanded. The garden came into view, with a black figure moving in it. The figure turned around, looking straight at them through the ball. It beckoned. The orb went black.

xXxXxXxXxXx

When they rounded the last corner, he slipped into a pool of red. Rose froze beside him, pulling out her wands, as he caught himself, regaining his balance.

Around them, a parade of nonsense words were written on what seemed like the air, pulsing and vibrating. MEOWMOEWMEOW in Rose’s purple, honkHONKhonkHONK in Gamzee’s indigo, clowns in John’s blue, a mix of code in English and Alternian. Pieces of objects were scattered across a circular platform almost as wide as the garden, directly in the center of it. At closer glance Dave could pick them out: Kanaya’s shredded plants, Rose’s novel excerpt, Dave’s rap, WV’s mayor banner, Terezi’s dragon plushes, the computer Karkat was so fervidly working on before Dave snapped him out of it, and bits of… was that Lil Cal? He had a love-hate relationship with the little man but destroying him was just… now that was just wrong. Gamzee would be heart-broken.

The black form of the Perp rose from the carnage, black baton by their side, red paint dripping from a glove. Their clothing was more wisps of black than anything else, blowing in a way to disguise their form, whether they were actually taller or shorter, whether their horns—they definitely had horns, Dave was pretty sure now—were tiny nubs or longer more obvious shapes, even whether they were skinny or not.

Underneath their foot was Rose’s cue ball, the one stolen from her earlier and the original one from that White Text Creeper Guy.

“Why are you doing this?” Rose asked, wand shifting in her hand in such a way that Dave knew that she was probably going to swipe her cue ball from the Perp in any moment. Apparently the Perp knew it too, because instead of answering, they cocked their head, and speared the cue ball with their baton.

Rose cried out and flicked her wand, swooping the ball up and away from harm. It exploded in the middle of the air. They covered their heads to avoid the shards.

The black figure snapped their fingers and the platform started spinning like a ferris wheel. The objects on top of it rose on strings, dancing along the platform like they were the puppets of some bizarre show. Carnival-esque music started playing in the background. It was like a grand affair and they were the specially invited guests of honor. The Perp was entertaining them, but the thing that was most insulting to Dave was the music. It was just… terrible. Even for a show of weird and epic proportions there should be quality sound.

Rose flew at the Perp, needles extended. A dragon plush rose up to meet her, baring its jaws. She zapped it and the plush flew around the beam, still coming. Dave could now see a metallic tint to the teeth. That wasn’t just a plush.

He yanked her out of the way before the plush grazed her neck. The dragon pirouetted back with the other objects, spinning on the platform.

“They changed it.”

“Thank you for the most astute observation. I’m not completely devoid of the senses required to notice.” She rubbed her neck. She was flustered, but trying to hide it. She hadn’t noticed until he did.

Dave flash-stepped into action, leaping into the platform and slipping past the multitude of objects, then the bits of Lil Cal attacked him. He fought them off, leaping and kicking, slashing them into further bits. He time-jumped only to find himself fending off even smaller bits of Lil Cal. The little man was fast. This was one of the times where he wondered if the puppet was actually really alive, even in the apparently dead and chopped up to meal-size bits state it was currently in. Or maybe it really was Gamzee controlling the thing and he’d just tricked Rose’s ball into thinking he was sleep somehow. But no, the Perp was standing right on the other side, Dave could see out of the corner of his eye. Hadn’t budged an inch. And Lil Cal was still going.

Dave finally slashed him to itty bitty pieces. Farewell, Lil’ man. On the other side of the platform, the Perp was bending to pick up something. A can of paint.

Behind him Rose was gesturing in the air, twirling her wands. The platform came to a halt, which was kinda good ‘cause Dave was getting a bit dizzy now that he wasn’t focusing on the stuffings of a puppet, and he leaped off it, sprinting towards the prankster.

With another cock of their head—Dave was starting to think that was their way of grinning through all the folds—they tossed their hand. The can spilled.

Red came flowing towards him, a long pool of red, glistening in the light. Unbidden, a sound followed it, the sound of a cawing crow, a laughing crow, and the hint of gears. The baton shown like a blade.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. No. This couldn’t be happening again. Not here. Not again. But the red flowed and time slowed and all he knew was that it was starting again. The same thing that happened to Bro and killed him, the same black specter, billowing, transforming, baring its teeth in the same way. It was about to happen again and fuck, he couldn’t stop it. Every time it went like this and every time he couldn’t stop it. No. He couldn’t let it. This time he wouldn’t even let it start.

A blur flew past him as Rose went to attack the figure, and he flash-stepped in front of her, pushing her back. “No!”

A crunch of glass as she fell to the floor. Neither of them noticed. She tried to raise her wand, but he pinned her wrist, keeping her down.

“Dave, let me go.”

“I won’t let you die, Rose.”

“I am not in danger of dying. They, however, are in grand danger of escaping.”

He ignored her, flipping around as he held her down with one arm, his other hand gripping the sword he now held out, ready to face the black specter as it stared down at him, ready to snatch yet another loved one away from him and he wouldn’t let them. He’d rather die himself before he let it happen again.

Rose gave some sort of protest behind him but he couldn’t hear her anymore. Not even when he felt a hot pressure on his arm that was probably her fighting off his grip with her magic.

The Perp bowed their head—they seemed almost remorseful, somehow—and threw a hand up in the air. A ball flew up and burst open, spreading blinding light onto them all. When Dave could see again, the prankster was gone. The air before them was vacant, the garden empty of all sound, including that horrible carnival music.

He lessoned his grip now that they were safe. A shift from under his arm, presumably as Rose shifted into a sitting position. He turned to look at her, to make sure she was okay, and then he felt a sharp pain in his neck as he was clocked by an elbow. So it wasn’t only trolls that attacked that region. Fuck.

His vision faded and turned to black.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8** _

Dave was floating. When he opened his eyes, he found himself staring at a hazy, grey sky, clouds still and unmoving above him. Water flapped in his ears.

A loud squawk made him turn to his side. He saw a crow, with red, beady eyes, staring at him as it floated on the waves. It squawked again and took off into the air, flying straight towards him. It swooped down to peck his nose. OW.

Now it officially registered to him that he was floating—on water. He freaked out and flailed, losing his nice back float. He coughed up spittle and saltwater and doggy paddled as he regained a sense of direction. He was in the middle of some ocean, with nothing but water around him, and some bird staring at him incessantly. The bird turned slightly, and this time Dave saw that it had something in its mouth. It glinted in the glimpse of sunlight peeking from beyond one of the clouds. His Bro's shades.

The crow took off and Dave took off with it, swimming as fast as he could to catch the bird. When he caught up with its lazy flight, he shot water at it. The bird turned and tried to poke a hole through his forehead. He grabbed for its tail. His wet hands slipped off the feathers and the bird took off again, but he was quickly in pursuit.

They lasted this way for a while, fierce splashing, near tail grabs, bites, jeering caws, water getting into his lungs and making him cough stupidly. Then Dave found himself swimming onto sand, and he pulled himself up onto the bank of an island.

As soon as Dave reached shore, the bird dropped the frames on top of his head, soaring off. He collapsed, sucking in dry, non-salty breaths. A wave crashed on his feet.

The shades shined his soggy reflection back at him.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The first thing he became aware of was mutters. Not too far away from him. Talking soft enough to presumably not wake him. And the second thing he was aware of, as his eyes flew open, was that he didn't know where the hell he was. Some green ceiling above him. Shitty wallpaper with horses and clouds. And a bar that locked him in.

He bolted up, flinging off the wrappings on him—oh, were they covers?—eyes scanning the room—okay it was weird and non-threatening but that didn't mean shit—and automatically reached for a sword that was no longer there.

"Dave," a voice spoke from the corner of the room. Dave turned his head in that direction, taking in one girl in a lavender-colored skirt and t-shirt, the same sort of stuff she used to wear before she took to wearing her Seer clothes all the time. And another girl, whose face was slowly splitting into a grin.

"YOUR3 4W4K3!"

Terezi jumped up and crossed the room in what was practically a flash-step, leaping into the bed and dragging him down with her. His panic over his weird environment abated. He could feel a throbbing soreness along his back and sides, speaking of several new bruises. He didn't know whether they were from his latest fight with Karkat or that incident with the Perpetrator. But speaking of it, how exactly did he end up here? The last thing he remembered was…

Dave glanced at Rose over Terezi's shoulder, narrowing his eyes. She stared expressionless back, pursing her lips slightly. He narrowed his eyes further and then realized that there was no filter between his own eyes and hers. His shades were off.

"YOU H4D M3 WORR13D. ROS3 BROUGHT YOU B4CK 4ND S41D YOUD B33N HURT BY TH4T PR4NKST3R."

"Did she?" Liar. "Was I sleep for long?"

"ONLY FOR 4 R3ST1NG P3R1OD. W3 W3R3 WORR13D YOU M1GHT B3 OUT 3V3N LONG3R. 4R3 YOU 4LR1GHT?"

"I feel like a mob of reindeer and an old guy in his sleigh ran over me at 180 miles an hour but I think I'll still live."

Terezi hugged him again, squeezing him so he felt the bruises once more. Ow. There were also tingly hot strips on his arm. He wondered if Rose had actually burned him that time.

"I think you're hurting him," Rose told Terezi, as she stood up to approach them. Terezi sat back. Rose continued, "And if you don't mind, Terezi, I need to see to my patient's health now. He's just woken up. He might still have some disorientation. Or possibly even further wounds that weren't noticed until now."

Terezi slid off the bed and waited by its side. Rose paused, looking at her.

"I need to perform my checkup alone."

"TH3 L4ST T1M3 TH4T YOU W3R3 4LON3 W1TH D4V3 H3 C4M3 B4CK UNCONSC1OUS."

"Have you forgotten there was another person there as well, the Perpetrator? The very person who knocked him out and caused all our injuries? The fact that I was there is the entire reason why Dave came back at all."

"4ND 4LL W3 H4V3 1S YOUR WORD FOR 1T?"

"Of course not. The other witness is Dave himself. And I don't personally hear him complaining, do you?"

They both glanced towards him. Dave nodded at Terezi. "It's fine. Go on."

"4R3 YOU SUR3?"

"It's fine. I'll catch up with you later. 'sides, I'm a big boy. I can handle myself."

Terezi still hesitated, fingers gripping her cane. She let out a breath and turned around, walking out. Rose shut the door behind her.

"She has reason to want to protect me, you know." Dave told Rose.

"Oh, I know. She paraded her special status around last night pretty fervently. I think the entire meteor knows that you two are moirails now. Guess I'm not the only human who had an insatiable urge to hook up with a troll."

"It's not even like that. It's totally different."

"I know. But it's still pretty amusing."

Dave rolled his eyes and reflexively touched his neck. "So?"

"What happened?" Rose asked.

"Between me and Tz or-?"

" _Last night_." Rose leaned over him, face so close he could feel her breath on his cheeks.

"You knocked me out and my neck is killing me for it-"

"You stopped me. We had the Perp in the palms of our hands. And you stopped me." She leaned back, losing some of her heat. "At first I considered that it may be an example of your potential involvement with the culprit in some way, coupled with the evidence that you knew exactly when and where they were striking… But I think it was obvious that there are some underlying things that are going on. The true reason why you stopped me. So what is it?"

"I just got a little unwound."

"You held me down and let them get away; I think that's past a little unwound. What if this happens again? What if we have a chance and you completely let it go? What if—"

"It won't," Dave spit out.

Rose frowned at him. She sighed. "I'm not saying this because I want to catch the Perpetrator, Dave. …I'm worried about you."

"There's absolutely no need to worry. I have everything A-OK under control and the ship is gonna be sailing back on smooth waters soon you don't even have to concern yourself over it."

"You were right." Dave went silent. She paused and continued, "I did go overboard. I turned this place into a prison trying to make certain that nothing got out of hand. And of course something did. You can't control everything." She sat on the edge of his bed, over the bar that kept him from rolling out sideways. "I ended the curfew. And the time blocks. And every other sort of rule that I set up. And I'm sure that you noticed, but my second orb was destroyed last night." Dave remembered the shatter beneath him, vaguely. "So I'm sorry."

"Goddammit, Rose. Next time you wanna take measures into your own hands can you just write a huge manual or something and force us all to read it? I'm sure that'll be punishment for even the toughest crook."

"Or maybe I'll convince them to accompany me to one of your more experimental sessions, full of dropping basses and screeching ironic words of terrible audio quality."

"Oh, touché."

Rose looked at the bedsheet. She picked at it. "Thank you."

"No big. We're all dumbasses once in a while. You were just a dumbass for a much longer time than any of us."

Rose gave him a slight smile that promised retribution to come, and regained her normal composure, looking at him with that piercing gaze again. "So. Spill it."

"Are you fuckin serious."

"I told you I was concerned. Now I want to know what I have to be concerned about."

"Ugh."

"Dave."

"Can I at least get my shades? I'm feeling kind of naked up in here without 'em and do you really want this to start looking like a cheap step-sister porno or something?"

"Dave."

"Fine. Look… it's just… I guess I freaked out because of a stupid dream."

"Dreams? Like the kind stemming from unpropitious origins, such as that of Makara's chucklevoodos or Serket's psychic powers, or something more inherent to the inner workings of one's own subconscious?"

"If you just asked me whether they're from an inside source or outside, they feel pretty internal, I guess. Just nightmares."

"Would you care to describe them?" Rose totally had on her shrink hat now. To be honest, Dave was pretty glad about it. He'd totally forgotten that sometimes he actually enjoyed getting poked and prodded and having his weird consciousness splayed out in front of him like a willing virgin considered for sale.

"Alright, well I guess. Usually they start off with… his death. My Bro's death." That was hard for him to admit. Kinda felt like a weakness, being so consumed by the death of that asshole he'd called Bro but… he loved him. Admittedly.

"Go on."

"And I'm there. I see it happen. Over and over again. And every time I just can't do a thing about it. I've tried like a million fucking ways and it still doesn't work, and then Jack either comes and kills me too or… I mean sometimes Bro has transformed and tried to off me. Like he's pissed off that I couldn't save him. That I didn't do shit to stop it. I mean I'm the motherfucking Knight of Time, right? I'm the fucking master of all forms of time and all timelines and all there ever was and I can't stop that single thing from happening."

"Well then, as the 'motherfucking Knight of Time' you should know better than any of us that maybe there are some things that aren't meant to be changed. Perhaps it's a constant amongst all timelines and no matter what you do to try and prevent it, it will still occur."

"Maybe."

"But I think the notion of your Bro 'offing you' must be addressed."

"What? You think it's my guilt coming to haunt me and that I'm not responsible since I mean I wasn't even fucking there? Trust me, I know that."

"I was going to say that I think that you need to forgive yourself."

"I didn't do anything wrong."

"Exactly. But you think you did. And it's crippling you in your future. You're afraid that you won't be there when someone needs you. Or that you might mess up again and repeat the same steps that will lead you to another death of a loved one. Right?"

Dave looked away.

"Dave. Do you remember when I found your other self's body on the platform? I told you then that I didn't want to lose any more loved ones. I've had similar dreams sometimes myself. I understand."

Dave looked at Rose again. She was giving him a leveled expression, but he knew that beneath that expression must be a similar sort of pain and grief and she was only appearing this calm and level-headed for his sake. He'd never considered that before.

"Maybe you're right. I dunno. I can't even think of that right now. Part of me doesn't mind the dreams, you know? Cause it's like, the only way I can see him again. Even if he's dead. I don't even know where our dead Bros and Moms and Dads go when they die. Is it to the same place that we go? Or are they all just chilling out on some swarmy beach brimming with honeys and all-you-can-eat buffets and we're never gonna see 'em again? I don't even know."

Rose's mouth lifted upwards, slightly, at his description of the beach-fantasyland. "Well I certainly hope it's not there because I, for one, would love to have a passive-aggressive battle with my mother again. I'd never admit this when I was younger but now, I sort of miss the porously inebriated woman."

"Did sound like you two had pretty colorful arguments."

"The most colorful."

"So you can't see for certain, then?"

"…Dave. I'm a Seer of Light, not a fortune-teller."

"Right. I know."

They sat in silence for a moment, pondering thoughts and probably enjoying the easy fall back into their old relationship, before Rose went dictator-crazy and he went a little crazy himself. He frowned.

"So, on the platform, why haven't you ever tried to stop me? You know how bad my self-sparring sessions were. I'm sort of surprised."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean during my whole strife and beat-down sessions with the self-proclaimed leader of the trolls. You never said anything."

"…Is that what you two were doing? I saw you disappear from my orb sometimes, but as for what you were up to or where you were, I couldn't see anything."

"Seriously? I thought you could see all."

"I told you. Some things are blocked for some reason or other. I haven't been able to figure out how to undo that."

"Hmm."

"But honestly, I never thought that I would have a complete idiot for a brother. Is that the reason you're so injured? I surmised that it couldn't merely be from the altercation with the Perpetrator."

Dave gave a short grin. Rose shook her head and tossed him his shades.

"Here, you look silly without them." As Dave slid them on, she grew serious again. "Now, to the other reason why I wanted to speak with you."

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave left the makeshift medic room, thinking on Rose's last subject of speech. Conjectures on who the Perp could be. They'd seen Gamzee in the orb. He'd been asleep during that time. WV was as blank as ever. Who knew what that meant but it probably didn't tie into him being the Perp. Not to mention that this person was probably at least somewhat intelligent and WV… well no offense meant to the little ebony guy, but he wasn't the brightest piece on the chess board. Dave and Rose had been together the whole time. And assuming the cut to black was "inconclusive as to Kanaya's effective guilt or innocence" (Rose's words not his), that only left three people it could be. Dave didn't really want to think about it.

"HEY." One of these three peeled himself off the wall where he'd apparently been waiting, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "YOU ALRIGHT?"

"Doctor says I got pharyngeal hemorrhaging and about three days to live, but I'm trying to take it in good spirits."

"WHAT?"

"I'm joking. Dude, you've gotten liven up."

"THAT WASN'T FUNNY."

"Aw, were you concerned?"

Karkat scowled. Something dropped from his specibus into his hand. He shoved it at Dave. "HERE. I FIGURED YOUR MAKEUP WOULD BE VENTURING INTO FINGERPAINTING-WITH-A-DEAD-NUT-CREATURE-IN-THE-DARK TERRITORY SO HERE'S A WELCOME-BACK-TO-INNERVATION GIFT. GAMZEE'S COOL WITH YOU TAKING THEM."

"You know Rose's reign of curfews and terror is over, right? We don't have to worry about getting caught or hiding scars."

"YOU'RE SAYING WE SHOULD TELL EVERYONE?"

"I'm just saying we don't need to worry if they do figure it out-" Dave cut himself off as he noticed Karkat's stare and deepening growl, and he realized that he'd gotten something wrong.

"SORRY FOR ASSUMING THAT IT WAS OUR 'THING' THAT WE SHARED THAT NO ONE ELSE HAD TO KNOW ABOUT. I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD GAMZEE."

"It's a thing?"

"I SWEAR. YOU'RE DUMBER THAN EGBERT SOMETIMES AND THAT'S REALLY SAYING SOMETHING. WHY DID I EVEN THINK YOU WOULD TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY? YOU KNOW WHAT, GO ON AND TELL THE ENTIRE WORLD IF YOU WANT. THE ENTIRE REST OF THE DECEASED AND DYING POPULATIONS OF ALTERNIA, EARTH, DERSE, THIS ABOMINABLE ENDLESS SPACE SHIT HOLE THAT WE'RE GOING THROUGH, YOUR STUPID FRIENDS ON THAT OTHER STUPID SHIP THEY'RE ON. EVERYONE. YOU HUMANS FUCKING APPALL ME. WHY DID I EVEN TRY?"

So this tied into what happened last night. Before the other incident anyway. Dave ran a hand through his hair. It may have broken his whole cool, ironic stance, but goddamn it he'd almost forgotten about last night. Which was kind of the way he wanted it. Last night was a mix of emotions and feelings and he'd been high on top of it. He wasn't even certain how he felt about the shit that happened, so he'd hoped to just… not have to think about it. But obviously Karkat was sure how he felt about it and had been thinking about it since. Crap.

Karkat scowled and looked away, crossing his arms.

"Uh… I don't…" Nice stammer there, buddy. Why didn't he try wrapping it up with some stumbling over words and falling over himself in a dark alley? Seems to be where he was heading with it. "I mean. … Ah, shit."

"YOU KNOW WHAT, STRIDER. YOU'RE PATHETIC. THE MOST PITIFUL, PATHETIC PERSON IN EXISTENCE ON THIS METEOR RIGHT NOW. PROBABLY ONLY SECOND TO ME, ACTUALLY. BECAUSE I WAS THE IDIOT WHO EVEN THOUGHT IT WOULD BE OKAY TO HAVE MORE-THAN-PLATONIC FEELINGS FOR YOU. I THINK I'M GOING TO GAG MY PAST SELF. AND I HOPE THAT HE AND ME AND EVERY SINGLE OTHER VERSION OF OUR SELVES SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTS AND DIES. I'M ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF. ALL OF MY SELVES. AND YOU."

Karkat gave a last scowl and huffed off, shoulders tense, fists balled up on themselves. Dave thought of all the things he could say to stop him, starting with a small and pathetic "it's not like that" and ending with "hey but look, I'd totally do it again" which were all motifs of "insincere bastard" and signs that he obviously needed to think about this more. He figured that if it was something generally agreed upon that you shouldn't ever say to a girl, you probably shouldn't say it to your troll buddy who now has a huge, throbbing crush on you either. And not the kind of thing Terezi had. The real deal.

So he shuffled off in the other direction without saying anything at all, heading to find a place to retreat to.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave emerged on the platform, taking in a deep breath. He wasn't exactly certain whether this air counted as fresh or stale but it did the trick for clearing his brain. And Karkat wasn't here so that was even more of a bonus. Further along the platform, he saw a haze of green doing a similar thing, hunched over herself, cradling the potted matriorb in her arms. A sketchbook was beside her, open to a page that was completely blank. Kanaya stared off into space.

"Sup."

"I Came Up Here To Soak Up The Suns Rays But I Forgot For A Moment That We Werent On Our Old Planet. The Sun There Was Blistering Hot And Bright. None Of The Trolls But One Of Those Of My Blood Could Stand It But I Still Enjoyed Its Daylight Rays. This Sun Is Much Colder. Luminescent. Strange."

"That's what happens when you enter a new world. Everything changes."

"Some Things For The Worse It Seems."

Dave glanced at the matriorb she was cradling. He sat beside her.

"I Had Finally Crafted A Place To Call My Own. Now Its Gone Again."

"Then you'll have to make another."

Kanaya bared her fangs, spinning his way. He slid back by instinct. "And Have It Stolen From Me Then Too? Maybe Im A Little Tired Of Having Things Taken Away. Maybe I Want To Finally Craft Something And Have It Stay. My Friends. My Garden. My Mother Grub."

"…You know, sometimes it's just in our memories that things are really good. Like we just tune out all the shit that went wrong, and make this imaginary, nostalgic place of happy. Friends aren't always golden. Life isn't always golden. Family certainly ain't golden. I dunno, man. Maybe some things are better lost and only preserved in our memories. I'm starting to think that now."

Kanaya stared at him. "I Think I Would Prefer Being Able To Choose What I Lose And What I Dont. If That Is The Case. Why? Why Did It Have To Be My Garden That Was Destroyed? My Life That Was Almost Taken By A Genocidal Troll? My Mother Grub?" She stood up, staring down at him. Her face seemed like it had brightened in her rage. Or maybe it was just the expression on her face making it appear so.

"Life. Sburb. The creator of this game?"

Kanaya sighed and sat back down, crossing her arms. "Sorry. I Did Not Mean To Take It Out On You. I Know That You Are Not Responsible For These Events And Cant Control What Happened Any More Than I Can."

Dave nodded. But the Perp could. They'd managed to control every happenstance on the meteor so far, even pushing Rose into her royal insanity regime. Everything had happened because of them.

He surreptitiously glanced at Kanaya's face, glowing bright and white as she stared off into the distance again, lost in her own thoughts. This Kanaya certainly didn't seem like she'd be the person to destroy her own garden. Or maybe it was just a ploy? A necessary sacrifice in order to gain some sense of control over her life?

"Sorry. I Took Up The Entire Conversation. So Allow Me To Start Again. How Are You?"

"Peachy."

"You Seem Tired."

"Just woke up from a hell of a nap. I may still be."

"What Happened? Rose Was Rather Vague."

"We met up with the Perp, had the fight of our lives, had a bunch of tokens destroyed… The Perp knocked me the fuck out and ran away like a slimy coward." Dave looked at Kanaya out of the corner of his eye, but there was no reaction to his words. The Perp always seemed really thrilled at their pranks and games. He would expect them to react if he insulted them to their face.

"Hmm. That Sounds Like A Rather Terrible Fight. If I Were There They Would Have Faced A Date With My Chainsaw."

"You seem pretty fond of that."

Kanaya applied her lipstick, a small smile on her face, fangs protruding. "Are You Hungry? It Is Almost Time For Dinner."

"Hell yes. I'm starving."

Dave stood up and put out a hand to help Kanaya up as well. Perp or not he still… totally got her feelings. Why did everything have to be so off in this place they'd landed in? It was pretty much the gripe he'd had ever since they'd started playing this backwards, sadistic excuse of a game. They headed downstairs.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave walked into the usual dining spot. Rose was in the middle of setting food on the table. She looked up as he came in.

"You too?" Rose asked them. "You know, curfew is over. We don't all have to eat together anymore."

"WeLl i tHiNk iT'S StIlL AlL Up aNd mOtHeRfUcKiN NiCe. I GeT To hAnG OuT WiTh mY BeSt fRiEnDs aNd eNjOy a gOoD MeAl."

"The Clown Does Have A Point. If There Is One Thing Good That Came Out Of Your Imposed Curfew, Rose, It Would Have To Be Meal Times Together. They Can Be Surprisingly Fun."

Kanaya was perched in a seat next to Rose. Terezi sprang up from the table and grabbed Dave, pulling him to a saved chair near hers. "WH3R3 W3R3 YOU? YOU D1S4PP34R3D 4FT3R ROS3S CH3CKUP." Karkat sat across from them, but when Dave turned his shades in that direction, the troll looked away, avoiding his glance.

"Went for a walk. Something jump off while I was away?"

"NO. BUT 1T LOOKS L1K3 YOUR F4C3 D1D." Dave reflexively touched his jaw. He'd slipped a way to re-apply his makeup right before they entered the dining area. Karkat was right. It had faded somewhat and his scars had been beginning to peek through. "4R3 YOU GUYS 1N SOM3 3XCLUS1V3 BOYS CLUB NOW? F1LL3D W1TH CLOWN M4K3UP 4ND T4LKS 4BOUT P13S 4ND ROMCOMS? 1M 4LMOST J34LOUS."

Dave snorted. "Nah, just… Gamzee was feeling a little down after what happened to Lil Cal. I mean we all were. That lil man was a really cool dude. So we decided to do this to cheer him up."

"… G4MZ33 C3RT41NLY H4S 4 GOOD MO1R41L." She paused. "SORRY TH4T 1 SUCK 4T 1T. 1F 1 W3R3 4 GOOD MO1R41L 1 WOULDNT H4V3 L3T YOU G3T HURT. 4ND 1 WOULD H4V3 B33N TH3R3 TO STOP TH3M."

"Are you joking? You're a great moirail. You're like the best moirail on the planet of moirails, fucking King Kong sitting on top of everyone in the Empire State Building, about to rip that motherfucker to smithereens. That's how fucking awesome of a moirail you are."

"1 DONT KNOW 1F TH4TS 4 GOOD CH4R4CT3R1Z4T1ON BUT 1LL T4K3 1T." She grinned. "DO3S TH1S M34N YOULL 4CC3PT 4 H34RTF3LT M4K1NG UP OFF3R? MOV1E N1GHT. YOU G3T TO P1CK WH4T3V3R YOU W4NT. 1LL 4LCH3M1Z3 4NYTH1NG YOU W4NT. OR W3 C4N K33P SN34K1NG OUT TO TH3 K1TCH3NS TO GR4B FOOD, B3C4US3 W3 C4N DO TH4T NOW."

"Alright sure. This is your date and you're treating, young lady. I expect you to blow me away."

Terezi elbowed his shoulder and went back to eating. Dave went to do the same thing, eyes grazing over Karkat's form as he did so. The troll was still avoiding his gaze. He guessed he'd have to do something about that. Eventually.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave was sprinting.

Before him, the crow's wings spread far and wide, beating across the air in hard, swift motions. Dave chased it, cape flying behind him, sneakers barely scraping the sand underneath his feet.

 _Cawww_ , the bird cried as it glanced back once, one beady red eye on him, and then waved its wings again soaring further on. He followed.

It led him to the edge of the space, where a deep ravine dropped off into no man's land, and flew across it no problem. Dave skidded to a stop, peering over. That drop was black, deep and endless. The crow was still flying over it without a glance. If he didn't do something he would lose it. So true to the nature of his better decisions, he didn't think, and ran back a few paces, gauging the distance. He sprinted to the ridge and leaped.

And fell straight to the bottom like the stupid kid he was. He crashed onto the dirt and got the wind knocked out of him. His head spun.

Dave lay there, staring at the stupid sky above him. A  _cawww_  taunted him somewhere over the edge of the ravine. Other laughter, human laughter, came from his side. As he turned his head, Dave revised his description. Not human but troll laughter. Karkat smirked at him from his side.

"ARE YOU STUPID? YOU CAN FLY."

"Oh right." He'd forgotten. "What are you doing here?"

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO BE DOING HERE?"

"Don't counter my question with basically the same question. That's lame."

"NOT AS LAME AS THE REASON WHY YOU WON'T ANSWER IT."

"And what's that?"

"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT ME TO BE DOING HERE."

"Humor me then." Dave sat up. "What do I want you to be doing here? Since you seem to know all the answers."

Karkat grinned. Come to think of it, something was totally off here. And it wasn't just that annoying bird overhead that kept cawing at him. Karkat leaned down, face so close that Dave had to draw away. "ANSWER IT YOURSELF. COOLKID." He flicked him on the nose.

Dave had his sword out in a second and Karkat quickly pinned him down, kicking it away. He ground Dave's face into the dirt. "You're not really Karkat, are you?"

"I'M A FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION. EVERYTHING HERE IS."

Dave cursed. Karkat flipped him around and slammed the back of his head into the dirt this time, before bending down and kissing him. Dave froze for a second before his body acted on its own, kissing Karkat back hungrily. Their tongues twined together and sharp teeth grazed his bottom lip, before returning for another kiss. Dave's hands slid down to Karkat's waist, reaching under his shirt to touch more skin. A rough hand grazed over his own for a second, before pulling back.

The troll slipped away, giving him a stupid smirk that Dave would've probably tried to pound out of the real Karkat if he ever saw it. It was an expression that said he'd just proved his point. It ticked Dave off.

"Fuck you."

"YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU?"

Dave scowled and sat back up again. Karkat sat next to him. "So fine. I'm attracted to you. Or something. Is that weird? Is my inner self-conscious trying to tell me that Rose's psychoanalytic babble was right all along and I'm really just a Freudian repressed Kinsey 6 or something?"

Karkat shrugged.

"Look, I don't have a problem with the homosex or anything. I mean when you grow up with a Bro who has plastered bulbous rumps and dongs all over his wall and pictures of 'hunky muscle' men, you start to get a thing or two. Especially when that Bro never exactly brought home a 'Sis Strider' for companionship, you know? I dunno. I guess I do like some choice ladies like… oh man we won't talk about my stupid old crushes. Rose, her Mom, even Jade. Ugh. Let's not go into the embarrassing past it's going to kill my cool guy stride. And before you open your stupid pointy mouth yeah I'm aware I already did that by falling on my ass earlier today. But this, I don't even understand this. You're my bro. This isn't even the 'right' time for this. And you're a dude, right? I mean, I think. I don't even know what parts you trolls have. Are the girls technically rocking the same thing as the boys or—"

Karkat decked him.

Dave cradled his cheek. "Alright, so I kinda deserved that. Doesn't matter anyway. Even if you were somehow rocking the ladiest of lady parts you'd still be a dude right? And I'd still be the dude who liked you. On this meteor. While I'm having dreams about a weird bird and being haunted by my Bro's dead body and talking to my fictional imaginary bro in the middle of said dream." Dave groaned.

The ground beneath Dave started to crack. Karkat rolled his eyes.

"LOOK. WE'RE TEENS. WE ALL GO THROUGH THE HORRID PROCESS OF REALIZING THAT WE'RE EVEN MORE DETESTABLE THAN WE THOUGHT WE WERE AND WE'D LOVE TO CHOKE OUR PAST SELVES. YOU'LL GET THROUGH IT. BUT THERE'S ALSO ANOTHER REASON WHY YOU DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS."

"And what's that?"

The ground cracked further. Karkat gave that stupid non-Karkat smile and shrugged. "START THINKING AND FIND OUT."

Karkat patted his shoulder. And the ground beneath Dave gave way. He slid through the dirt and beyond it, falling into a patch of black murkiness and endless sky. As he fell through the open air, a taut piece of cloth wrapped around him, yanking him forward. He stopped in the middle of a dark cloud, darkness writhing around him like wispy snakes. And in front of him, floating in mid-air, was the one and only Perpetrator. They cocked their head in that way that signaled amusement, clutching him in one of the long filaments on their robes.

Dave sliced himself free in a few seconds and leapt forward, lunging at the Perp. They dodged him, just barely. He spun around and tried again. The wisps of black robes got in his way, wrapping themselves around his broken sword just so often that he'd need to pause and cut himself free and the Perp merrily danced away. He roared and soared again, coming straight for the Perp's center. It was a fake out. As he came in for an imaginary blow and they went to dodge it, he grabbed the edge of his real target inside. Their garment. As they kicked him off, he fell downwards, yanking the edge of the cloth with it. It parted.

On and on he fell and the garment fell along with him, unraveling around the Perp. Just before he fell past the blackness, the cloth around their face parted. It was a black void.

"Who are you?" Dave screamed at them, before the bottom of the dark cloud covered them again, and he was free-falling once more.

He landed on a plush, buoyant surface, bouncing up into the air and then back down on impact. As he slowly sat up, before him sat the crow that he was chasing earlier. It didn't pay any attention to him, fixedly pecking at something beneath its feet. He stood up and crossed over to it.

The motion alerted it. And it jerked its head upwards. He saw what it had been pecking on so fervently. His Bro's trademark gloves. Streaked with blood. With a twitch of its head it ripped one of the gloves into shreds, flinging it into the air to land by his feet.

Enraged, Dave swung at the bird. He missed wildly and the bird hopped away and took flight again, leaving him behind. The dream started to evaporate. He was waking up.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave came to, surrounded by large cities of gold and amethyst, sparkling lights, depictions of kings, queens, wartime heroes, and tin cans with funny accessories glued onto them. He was in the middle of Paint Town.

Images from his dream flashed through his brain: Karkat's smirking face. Dave's head slammed into the dirt. The black-enshrouded Perp, floating in mid-air with billowing robes. A crow pecking at something on the ground and jerking its head up. Blood peppering a shredded black glove as it was tossed his way.

Dave squeezed his eyes shut and pressed against the bridge of his nose, willing the images away. As he stood up, a tin can caught his eye, a rather obnoxious and rude expression painted on to its face, fake shades pasted onto it with a flop of blond hair. WV's depiction of him. Dave stared at it for a long second.

Huh.

He kind of missed the little guy.

Dave slid his crooked shades onto his face, leaving the hideout he wandered into for a quick midday snooze.

xXxXxXxXxXx

"TH4T 1S 4 R1D1CULOUSLY S1LLY M4SK."

"But it's for the sake of anonymity."

They were sitting in Terezi's lair, finally having their "movie night". It had been a few days since he'd woken up from the incident with the Perp and a couple days after he'd napped and had that rather lucid dream, which he tried not to think about any more than he had to. No further dreams after that, luckily. No sign of the Perp either. And Karkat was still distant. Rose had begun mapping out evidence for the investigation and had been hanging around Kanaya a lot more, secretly investigating her. Dave was supposed to be investigating Terezi, but so far all they'd done was hang out and have surprise rap offs. Which were really fun, to be quite honest. Broke up all of the serious monotony that had been going on for the past few days.

"WH4T K1ND OF K1LL3R WOULD 4CTU4LLY SUCCUMB TO W34R1NG TH4T TH1NG? 1D B3 TOO 3MB4R4SS3D TO L34V3 MY ROOM."

"This is coming from a blind girl."

"H3Y! 1 4T L34ST H4V3 4N 4PPR3C14T1ON FOR SOM3 OF TH3 F1N3R TH1NGS 1N L1F3. L1K3 D3L1C1OUS COLORS."

He smiled as Terezi leaned towards the monitor again, inhaling its scent as the images reflected off her red specs. Was she really one of the final suspects in being the Perp? Well, she was inquisitive, clever and sometimes mischievous… but Terezi? If anything she'd be the Perp's arch-nemesis. It just didn't make sense. In fact, none of their suspects made sense.

"MMM TH4T 1S 4 D3L1C1OUS R3D."

"And totally fake. It's hilarious how bad these effects were back in the day."

"H3H3H3."

"So, where were you that night anyway?"

Terezi turned away from the film, frowning at him. "WH4T DO YOU M34N?"

"The night the Perp attacked."

"1 THOUGHT W3D 4LR34DY COV3R3D TH4T 1 W4S SORRY D4V3. DO YOU W4NT 4NOTH3R 4POLOGY? 1 WONT 3V3R L3T SOM3TH1NG L1K3 TH4T H4PP3N 4G41N."

"No, I mean. Before any of that jumped off. I looked for you and waited in your room for a while and I couldn't find you."

"OHHH. 1 TOOK 4 W4LK."

"That was a pretty long walk."

"1M 3FF3CT1V3 MON1TOR 4ND P34C3K33P3R ON TH1S M3T3OR. SOM3ON3 H4D TO P4TROL TH3 H4LLS."

"Did you see anything suspicious?"

"NO." Terezi sighed. "1 THOUGHT 1 COULD PL4Y B1G B4D HOWL1NG B34ST BUT TH3Y SL1PP3D ON3 UND3R M3 1NST34D. 1 FOLLOW3D 4 TR41L OF R3D H3RR1NGS TH4T L3D TO NOTH1NG. 4ND WH3N 1 F1N4LLY R34L1Z3D 1T, 1 C4M3 B4CK 4ND ROS3 W4S R3TURN1NG W1TH YOU UNCONSC1OUS B3H1ND H3R."

"What did you think you found?"

Terezi paused. She turned his way again. "WV'S LOC4T1ON."

xXxXxXxXxXx

Terezi led him to the same wall he and Karkat had sniffed out before, where he'd found the single green coin and nothing more. She sniffed the air and then turned to her right, where she dropped down to the ground, feeling along it. Her nails scraped a barely visible indentation, and when she yanked upwards, it gave way, revealing a trap door.

It was pitch black. This didn't deter Terezi, as she slid right in, jumping down. Dave cut on a flashlight, shining a light down into the depths. He saw Terezi, looking up at him.

"COM3 ON, FR41DY C4T!"

"This is me you're talking to. Being scared and being a Strider doesn't even compute. But some of us actually need to see, you know." Dave slid in, jumping down beside her.

She snickered. "4LR1GHT TH3N, SC4R3DY STR1D3R. L3MM3 SHOW YOU WH4T 1 FOUND."

xXxXxXxXxXx

They walked further down the underground tunnel. It was totally pitch black. Dave skimmed the walls for a source of light, like a light switch or a candle, but he found nothing.

"I didn't even know this place existed. I thought it was just air vents and secret passages."

"TH3 MOR3 1 L1V3 H3R3 TH3 MOR3 1 F1ND TH4T TH3R3S 4LW4YS N3W STUFF TO B3 D1SCOV3R3D. HMM, 1 TH1NK 1T SHOULD B3 4ROUND H3R3 SOM3WH3R3."

Dave's light found it before Terezi pointed it out. A heaping pile of green, was basically all he could describe it as. Toys, rotting food, bits of fabric. Anything that was green on this meteor could pretty much be found here. WV did always like that color for some reason.

"So he was here?"

"1T LOOKS L1K3 H3 W4S K3PT H3R3. TH3N MOV3D. TH3 P4SS4G3W4Y 3NDS NOT TOO F4R UP 4H34D."

"Well this would be one way to get around Rose's orb trick. Even as Seer of Light I don't know if she could light this place up in her vision."

"HMM, Y3S TH4TS WH4T 1 THOUGHT 4T F1RST TOO, BUT 1 4SK3D H3R. SH3 S41D TH4T SH3 H4S 4CTU4LLY S33N TH1S PL4C3 1N H3R ORB. 1TS D4RK BUT SH3 C4N ST1LL M4K3 OUT TH3 PHYS1C4L LOC4T1ON. TH3 PL4C3 WH3R3 WV 1S B31NG K3PT 1S MOR3 OF 4 VO1D."

A flash of the Perp in his dream came back, layers on their face being pulled back and revealing nothing more than a void black hole.

"What does that mean?"

"TH4T W3 4R3 ST1LL 1N TH3 WRONG PL4C3, 4PP4R3NTLY."

xXxXxXxXxXx

They went back and finished the movie, but Dave could no longer concentrate on the hilarious sound effects and completely obvious slasher plot. His brain had been jolted onto completely different gears.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave lay on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

His brain ran over the question of WV once again, but he couldn't quite figure it out. A mountain full of green, sure, that made sense. A dark basement even Rose would have a problem seeing with her orb? Sure. But she didn't have her orb then. The Perp couldn't have known that would happen. Unless they guessed it and that's why WV was moved elsewhere. Or maybe it was just a quick place to store him during the dance and then they moved him to wherever he was currently being held afterwards. That would make more sense, as everyone was present in the room when WV disappeared. Unless WV went off on his own. Lured by green. Or paid in green. Could he even be an associate in this? Well, it wouldn't be too hard to convince the guy to take part in some scheme if you got on his good side. But then would he ever abandon Paint Town? The questions were endless.

Then there was the issue of Terezi. She was a suspect in being the Perp, right? So if she were the Perp, why would she show him that room? That wouldn't make sense at all. And what about Kanaya? If she were the Perp, would she be as mournful about losing her own private space as she was? Would she have chosen to destroy her garden in the first place? Of course the Perp had proven themselves to be clever time and time again, so if either of them were the Perp it could just be a way of casting doubt on themselves and lack of motive.

Dave tapped his fingers on the bed.

"But where's their motive?"

"Vindictiveness? Revenge? Plain boredom? There are many things it could be, Dave."

Dave looked over at Rose, who was pouring over the papers spread out in front of her, maps of evidence, potential timelines, setups for each event, questions that led closer to one suspect or another. He sighed.

"You had any better luck?"

Rose shook her head. "Kanaya's still inconclusive and I haven't had a chance to truly investigate Terezi. She'd be able to spot that I was on to her like a hawk; I have to be careful about how I approach it. Have you had a chance to speak with Karkat?"

"I was supposed to speak to Karkat? Isn't he like troll leader to your magical séance commander?"

"I assumed that since you two were having secret fight club battles and donning clown makeup that you might have an excuse to speak. Was I wrong? Is there something I should be aware of?"

"We just haven't spoken."

"Are you two in a disagreement?"

"Can't two guys go without talking to one another for a while without there being a reason for it? I mean maybe they just want a break from hearing each other's yapping load-gaper all the freakin time."

Rose smirked at the word.

Dave winced. "That was a mistake."

"Mistake or not. Proves my point that you're better suited to this than I am. Fix whatever is wrong and speak to him. Maybe collecting evidence or non-evidence from him can finally piece things together."

Dave hid a scowl but he knew she was right. But he hadn't wanted to deal with this until… he didn't know… they got off the meteor? Years from now? Ugh. Alright fine he guessed it was time to man up and deal with it. Grey-skinned, angry-faced troll-bonding time here he came.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave stood outside the door for the longest, staring at it as if by will he could whisk this entire situation away. Well, he knew he would have to face him sometime. He just hadn't wanted that time to be now. Dave raised his arm. He knocked on the door.

Karkat opened after the third knock. After a cursory frown he turned around and walked back inside, leaving the door open. Dave guessed that was an invitation in.

Gamzee was nowhere around. They sat on the same pile they'd been on that night, staring at the screen in front of them in silence. Nothing was even playing. That probably made it worse. A minute passed.

Dave spoke first. "…Sorry."

Karkat looked at him from the corner of his eyes.

"I mean, for not taking you seriously. Or anything seriously. I was just trying not to think about anything. With all the chaos involving the Perp and Rose and all the other backlog of crazy that's been served to me on a plate I didn't really want to focus on much else."

Karkat looked away again. "I DIDN'T MEAN TO SOUND PUSHY OR NEEDY OR ANY OF THAT BOGUS STUFF. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU MIGHT STILL BE ADJUSTING TO THINGS IN THAT MASSIVELY THICK CRANIUM OF YOURS."

"Not as thick as your balloon head I assure you. Someone could punch through a fucking mountain with it I swear."

Karkat snarled. Had that been too soon? Karkat raised a hand, but then instead of the strike Dave thought he was going to throw, he extended his palm in a handshake. "FRIENDS?"

"Totally. A little crush couldn't ruin that." They shook. Then Karkat flicked the side of his face.

"Ow. What was that for?"

"LET'S STRIFE."

"Isn't that my line?"

"NORMALLY. BUT IN THIS CASE I STILL HAVE AN INCESSANT URGE TO PUNCH YOU."

"Point made."

xXxXxXxXxXx

The sickle whizzed past his head as he dropped back and sprung back up for a kick. Karkat blocked and came back with a return kick, before advancing with the sickles again. Dave gripped his sword.

They went at it for a good hour. It was kind of nice to not have to worry about time limits or avoiding suspicion. Dave would've thought that the forbidden fruit might've been taken out of strifing, but Karkat fought him with as much vigor as ever. Though that might have been Dave's fault.

Then they collapsed, guzzling water and Faygo like they hadn't drank in days, reeking of body odor and troll sweat. They stretched out, staring at the endless void that they called sky.

"You know that's not very hydrating, right?"

"THIS FIZZY, SUGARY SWEETNESS IS SOOTHING MY GUSTATORY SPORES RIGHT NOW SO I REALLY DON'T CARE HOW HYDRATING IT IS."

"I'm just saying that you're gonna be thirsty again in like 10 minutes."

"THEN I'LL DRINK MORE."

"How do you not get cavities? Is this because you live with the clown?"

"NO STATEMENT."

They laid in silence once more, listening to the sound of their slowing breaths. It was kind of funny how, even after all the tension, they could still have a relatively peaceful moment like this on this rock. Even with a maniacal dog chasing after them and some big-bad apparently awaiting them once they landed. And all the shit that happened with their guardians and home worlds. Dave felt himself getting angry at the thought, so he shoved it under the surface for now. No one responsible here he could beat up for it. And he'd already just sparred with Karkat anyway. He didn't think he was up for any more fighting at the moment.

He looked over at Karkat. The troll was trying to blow a piece of hair away from his face, and failing miserably as it was resolutely glued to his sweat. Lazy. Dave reached over and pushed it away himself.

Karkat stared at him.

Fuck, had that been weird? Of course it was weird. It was like the pinnacle of oddity and he was speaking as a time god in a world filled with talking chess pieces and aliens. Look, he might be a little attracted to the troll back but that didn't call for grade school romantic moves even in his most subconscious brain.

Dave pulled his hand away but Karkat caught his wrist, holding him in place. Dave froze for a moment as Karkat reached over, putting his own hand next to Dave's face. Dave thought he was going for the shades at first and his hand automatically moved to block him, but the troll went for his hair instead, brushing it against his fingers. He seemed to examine it for a second, testing it between his fingers. Karkat's hair had seemed a bit coarser, but otherwise the texture shouldn't be too different. As if agreeing with him Karkat let it go, moving on to brush a finger against Dave's cheek, his jaw. His eyes caught Dave's and he abruptly stopped, yanking his hand away and looking off again. They laid there in silence for a minute.

"DO YOU WANT TO MAKE OUT?"

Wait. What?

"Yes. Totally."

Karkat sat up and yanked Dave closer to him. Dave met his lips with his own. Their teeth clinked together from the awkward angle but then they readjusted and all was good. This was so much better than their dream makeout, on account of it being real and in the actual flesh, and he couldn't even remember much of their sopor-filled one. He could feel Karkat's plump lips on his, the sharp prodding of the troll's teeth as he purposefully dragged them against his mouth, taste the Faygo, sweat and blood mingled together from the both of them. Their tongues tangled together, battling and caressing one another, finding a rhythm that worked. Karkat sucked on his lip, then trailed kisses up his jaw, going up to his ear. Karkat sucked on his lobe. Dave groaned.

A chuckle sounded in his ear. "I KNEW YOU FELT IT."

"You have no proof."

"YOU'RE SITTING IN MY LAP BREATHING MORE SHALLOW THAN A FISH-TROLL WITH HIS GILLS TORN OFF. I THINK I HAVE PROOF."

Somehow Dave  _had_  gotten himself all the way into Karkat's lap. When had that embarrassing thing happened?

"Screw you."

Karkat bit his ear.

"Ow!"

Dave pushed him and they wrestled for a bit, each trying to get the better hold. Dave finally got Karkat underneath him, pinned down to the platform. Dave grinned.

"FUCK YOU."

"Aw, come on now. We haven't even gotten our first date yet. You'll have to wait for that."

Karkat's scowl deepened and Dave leaned down to kiss him again, silencing any other protests.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Rose and Terezi were sitting in Rose's room when he went to find her. A chess game was spread between them, floating on nothing but air. Probably a product of the wands alchemized into Rose's bed. Terezi was staring at the chess set and pouting.

"4R3 YOU DO1NG SOM3TH1NG MY S3NS3 OF SM3LL 1SNT P1CK1NG UP? CH34T1NG 1S 1MMOR4L."

"I'm doing nothing of the sort. This is pure, honest deduction. And between two Seers, how would one cheat anyway? We would know exactly what dishonest moves the other would pull."

"TH1S 1S TRU3. D4V3 H3LP M3 W1N TH1S G4M3."

"I'm totally balls at chess, myself. Sorry, Tz."

Terezi pouted further.

"Dave, are you still having issues with your bed? I re-alchemized this version to the best of my abilities."

"Yeah, but the rumps are still too freakin plump sometimes. I mean a guy can't even kick back and relax with his beats and Apple J if he has the plushest of booties digging into his back."

"Alright, let me see what I can do. Terezi, I'll be right back."

"T4K3 YOUR T1M3," Terezi responded, staring at the chessboard like it was a criminal she wanted to convict.

Dave stepped out the door and Rose swept out after.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave's bedroom door clicked behind them.

"So I can't do it."

"Did he find out you were investigating him?"

"No, but I have a seriously massive bias. Like the size of the Milky Way and I'm not just talking about that funny tasting chocolate bar which was really hard to find in stores sometimes."

"Would I be correct in assuming that it's relationship-related? And don't look so surprised. You came in my room with a smile brighter than the glow of the exploding Tumor and fresh bruises all over that your makeup is doing a terrible time of covering. I inferred that it must be Karkat."

"Alright, so fine. I'm totally useless at this."

"It's okay. I can help. Two heads are better than one when collecting evidence on all these suspects anyway, and we still have motives and alibis to compare. It's frustrating that there's nothing concrete yet though."

"Terezi showed you that room she found evidence of WV in, right?"

"Yes. But there was nothing I could find within it. So that doesn't exactly help us to know where he's being kept right now or where the Perp is hiding. Even if I still had my orb those locations would be a blank, just as they always have been."

"Why do you think it happens?"

"I told you there's something blocking my vision."

"Do you think it's a timeline effect? Like maybe this all had to happen for us to get where we are and wherever we're supposed to go?"

"Hmm… that may be the case, but it wouldn't affect the vision I had in the orb, though my guiding Sight might be short-sighted. This is more of a blank. It feels like there's an element or a barrier that I can't break through."

"A barrier…"

"Dave. Don't make any fast moves, alright? I don't want you getting hurt. This person can be very tricky and if they find out that we're on to them—"

"I'll be fine, Rose. Don't you have a chess game to get back to? Terezi'll be waiting."

Rose regarded him for a second, sharp-eyed and shrink-minded, then she pulled back.

"You're right. We were just about to enter a thrilling point in our match." Rose smiled and turned towards the door. Then she turned around again. She gave him a quick hug. Dave didn't really know how to respond so he gave her a short nod as she pulled away. They stepped away from each other a bit awkwardly and then she turned around again, leaving out this time.

Dave watched his bedroom door close behind her.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He bounced on piles of gelatinous blubber as his prey bounded on before him. It was either a really huge bunny or he'd been shrunken to a really tiny teenager. And considering the enormous size of everything around him—the walls, the doors, the plants, he'd be inclined to say it was more the latter reason than the former. The bunny escaped through a shiny door at the end of the gelatin. Almost immediately powerful claws came and yanked the huge tuft of fur up into the air as a huge bird grabbed it and soared upwards, flying away. Dave paused and stared.

When he emerged from the doorway, he saw a sky filled with birds. Big, black birds, fighting and scrabbling with one another over food. Dropping bits and pieces of bloodied meat down to the ground and he had to hop out of the way to avoid it. Diving down so close that they almost nipped him and then back up again to soar in the sky.

The birds collected and dove downwards, over another cliff. Dave ran over to it and peered down. Below he could see two people fighting. Sword against sword. Capes swirling. Sunglasses glinting in the sunlight. They glanced at him. They were both Daves. They resumed their fight, bloodthirsty, fierce, as the crows cawed on in encouragement or taunting, who knew. Then one of the Daves downed the other and stabbed him in the gut before he could recover.

Dave backed away and spun around.

In front of him now was the crow from the previous dreams, a normal size compared to the other monstrosities. It worked on a piece of meat the other birds had dropped. Bloody. Thick. And entangled in the meat was what looked like a piece of… fabric? Bloody fabric. White fabric, like the remains of a polo shirt.

The bird pecked on, one eye trained on him as it ate.

Dave threw up.

His ears rang with ticking gears. As he lifted his eyes again, his surroundings had changed. He was once again in that place. The platform was stained red, the bloodstained sword was in front of him, and one-eyed Jack stared at him with a malicious grin. Dave's vomit stunk from its place at his feet. Dave backed up.

The gears grew louder and louder, drowning out the rest of the sound as Jack approached, picking the sword up off the ground. The bird pecked at his Bro's body. Blood continued to flow along the floor. His ears were drowning in ticking, he felt light-headed, his vision swam. He grabbed for a sword that wasn't there.

Why this? Why did this happen? Why did this always happen in this dream? Jack reached him and swung the sword, hacking at Dave's own body and all Dave could feel was pain. He cried and choked, screaming until his lungs gave out, screeching until he couldn't any more. The bird flew over to peck at his own, dying entrails.

His vision dimmed until there was only the distant light of the Green Sun remaining, brighter and brighter until it consumed his vision in totality. He blacked out.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave kicked off his covers and ran.

Dave sprinted up to the platform and kicked open the door, racing out onto it. He spun around, sucking in breaths. He sunk down onto the ground.

It wasn't real. It wasn't real.

Half of it didn't even make sense. A giant bunny? Two of himselves fighting? And why the hell were crows everywhere? Just because he'd prototyped one without thinking into his kernelsprite didn't mean they had to show up in his dreams all the time now. And then there was… that final part….

He sat down, sucking in slow breaths. His breathing calmed.

His eyes wandered up, finding the Green Sun, still pretty far in the distance and supposedly guiding them through this space or whatever it was supposed to be doing. In his dream it'd been just as malicious and invasive as the rest of the elements. Rose would probably love to analyze that. What's a sun in dream speak? The light in his sordid imagination or… hope for things to come or… death? In an sburb type setting? Maybe you saw Green Suns instead of normal white light here… that'd be pretty fitting for just how twisted and messed up this place was sometimes. When you die you're even denied a normal 'death' experience, and you see a big, luminescent ball of green fire instead, leading you across the veil to nothingness.

Dave brought up his knees, resting his head on them. He sighed, sucking in deep breaths again. Nope, he wasn't going to lose his head over this. He was going to calm down. Calm…. down…

Nothingness… nothing… void.

…Wait.

Dave's head popped up again. He looked at the Green Sun, then he looked around the platform. No, but that wouldn't make sense. They'd been all over this platform. He and Karkat during their intense sparring sessions, sometimes on their feet and sometimes flat on their faces as they were pinned to the ground. Not to mention all the others that came up here to get away. If there were a trap door anywhere someone would have found it long before now. Plus, there wouldn't be enough privacy to hold a captive here, would there?

But there was the fact that this was a place that Rose couldn't see in her ball. She'd never been able to see him and Karkat strifing. Yet she could see everything else on the meteor, even that darkened, hidden room WV had been in. Maybe it was because of the Green Sun.

He stood up, pacing. Was there another place on the meteor like this? But he hadn't seen any platforms, no outdoor stations that he knew of. Maybe the Perp kept WV in another hidden place on this meteor? Terezi did have a point that there were places on this meteor that were still left undiscovered. But were there places that Rose wouldn't be able to see? She could see everything. Even the hidden spots. There had to be a connection with the Green Sun.

Then he remembered. There was another platform on this meteor. He'd seen it when he first arrived. That's where WV was!

Dave ran for the exit.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He arrived in the hallway—and was almost clocked by a flying orb soaring towards his face. He dodged and it smashed against the wall behind him. It exploded in a burst of white.

He backed away and yanked out his sword, spinning around to see its origin. In front of him two people were engaged in a fight, Rose and The Perp. The side of Rose's face was bleeding and the Perp's robes were sliced. It looked like Rose had the disadvantage. She'd been separated from one of her wands somehow and the Perp wielded the baton in their hands expertly. Rose fended off an attack with flying purple sparks, but a nearby floating orb exploded in her face. She screamed out and dropped.

Dave flash-stepped towards her.

Dave knelt down beside Rose, as he saw The Perp jerk as they registered his presence. He readied his sword, preparing for a strife, but instead of engaging the opponent fled, racing down the hallway. Dave had half a mind to pursue, but there was a bleeding, injured sister at his feet. From the corner, another Dave stepped out and did the job for him, giving him a short nod before flash-stepping away. Dave let out a relieved breath and hoisted Rose up, taking off in the opposite direction.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He set Rose up in the makeshift medic room. He only knew enough first-aid to patch up her cuts and burns and apply some strong-smelling ointment, but it'd have to do. Looked like she would sleep off that mini-explosion for the time being anyway. He tucked her in and locked the door behind him. Maybe it would deter the Perp if they decided to reappear.

He went off to find WV.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave slipped past the series of floating musclebeasts, making his way through the labyrinth of books, up to the only other platform he'd seen on the meteor. Terezi's smell-o-scope room. No sight of anyone around and there were no obvious traps or guards that he could see on the room. It was totally open. He walked in.

WV was across the room, tied up, but otherwise in pretty decent shape. A half-eaten slime pie was near his face and a chess game was before him, which he was currently pondering intensely. His hand was loose enough to hover over the board, as he considered the next move he'd make in his one-man chess game. Dave couldn't help it. He broke into a grin.

"Mayor!" He ran over to him, bending down to untie his ropes.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to save you. What else would I be doing here?"

"Maybe taking a stroll to sniff the scope and monologue missed apologies and regrets?"

"There's your spunk. Kinda missed it down below. It's been rather drab, man." Dave tugged. WV's ropes came loose. He pulled him to his feet. "Alright, let's go."

He grabbed WV's wrist and turned around.

The doorway was now blocked. By the Perp. They stood in their torn, black robes, a sharp baton at their side, and a hood that was finally pulled down, revealing the Perp's face. They cocked their head, giving him a sharp grin.

"H3Y COOLK1D. W3LCOM3 TO MY L41R."

"Terezi."

Her smile widened. He lunged. She had her baton up in a second, swinging to meet his blow with a sharp click.

He had to say… of all of the people it could've been on this meteor… he'd been hoping beyond hope that it wasn't her. She'd been the cause of all of those events… destroying the fragile fabric on this meteor? Playing with everyone's heads? Attacking him and Rose? He was a tiny bit ticked off.

They broke apart and Dave screamed at her, lunging again.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a WHILE. Here's the latest update. The second to last chapter in this fic. Enjoy!
> 
> -Zade

**_Chapter 9_ **

Dave’s ferocious roar echoed through the space as he lunged, attacking Terezi with as much force as he felt passion. She dodged his attack, sliding her baton off his sword to land a hit at his side. He narrowly fell back in time to avoid it, knocking her baton astray. She came back immediately, aiming one kick and then another in swift succession, pushing him back towards the wall. He blocked and dodged and backed away. She didn’t pursue, pausing. They stared at one another.

She slid her hands into her robes, pulling two orbs out from her pockets.

“Why?”

She fingered the orbs, red tinted glasses blank, revealing nothing.

“WHY?”

He flash-stepped and she tossed her balls into the air. They burst into a haze of confusing white powder. He didn’t stop. He bulldozed through the chalky air and they fought once more, arm meeting arm, leg meeting leg, sword clashing with her recovered baton. She wasn’t as fast, but he was tired, and the chalky air made it hard to see, breathe and think. He got impatient. He jumped time.

Two other Daves appeared and circled around Terezi, closing her in. She backed away, her head turning from side to side, analyzing the situation. Her fingers went to her robes again.

“Don’t even think about it.”

The two Daves grabbed each wrist. Terezi stopped moving and turned to current Dave, red glasses looking directly into his own. She scowled.

“YOU N33D TO STOP W1TH TH3 T1M3 JUMP1NG D4V3.”

“Unfair advantage?”

“1M T1R3D OF H4V1NG TO K1LL YOU.”

With a sudden motion, Terezi shoved her hands towards the faces of the two Daves at her side. They went down, coughing and gasping as she spun around. Suddenly the air was filled with a gaseous substance. Dave covered his face, but apparently too slowly, because he was soon coughing and gasping himself, finding it hard to breathe in the thickening air. The other two Daves that had been closer to the poisonous gas had taken the brunt of it, sinking down to their knees. Dave felt a pressure in his skull, getting light-headed, as he sunk to the floor himself.

Out of his hazy vision, he could see Terezi in front of him. She’d slipped something else out of her robes. A gas mask? She was adjusting the straps on her face. Dave stared at her as he sank, a mixture of disbelief, betrayal and anger probably spread across it. This was incredulous. Did he lose? Did he really lose? Was this it for him?

Before he went down completely, Terezi grabbed him up by the armpits, yanking him back. She dragged him away from the other Daves.

“Tere… zi…” he spit out. His mouth felt sluggish, like there was a delay between his thought processes and his motor reflexes. Terezi dragged him to WV’s side, whose wide orb eyes stared at everything in shock and surprise, and she deposited him there, panting as she stood up. She pressed a button on the wall, lowering a thick wall between the three of them and the two dying Daves.

Dave fell over, lying flat on the ground, as Terezi’s gas mask turned back to him, a red hazy imprint in his vision. She approached as unconsciousness finally set in. He passed out.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave was lying in the dark. Or maybe it was more apt to say that he could see nothing but darkness. His eyes moved under his eyelids and blurry colors and patterns took shape, but nothing concrete emerged. He couldn’t peel his eyes open either. It felt like there was a heavy weight spread across them, encasing his body entirely. He couldn’t open his eyelids or shift a finger or twist from the spot.

Black things swished past his vision and cackles emerged, surrounding him, filling the air. He strained to twist away.

Something touched his face. Soft. A piece of fabric?

Then body heat as someone kneeled down beside him, running a finger over his face, his cheek, his jaw.

_Dave._

Lips were lowered to his cheek as they smiled against him.

_D4V3._

He strained to swat them away, scowl at them, express his anger. A low growl came out of his throat.

Their laughter tinkled in his ears. Her laughter.

He was lifted up, yanked up by the back of his own collar. She dragged a fingernail across his face, deep enough to sting. He hissed in a quick breath of air. Warm blood rolled down his cheek.

Terezi.

She dug in again, this time scraping along his face with both of her nails. He struggled but he still couldn’t move. She laughed. Tinkling laughter.

No. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be at all.

_Terezi!_ He mentally screamed at her as her nails continued to dig into his skin. _Terezi! Terezi!_

Her laughter was all that followed. Soon it was mixed with the cawing of a bird. And then with churning gears that grew louder and louder as they approached.

_Terezi. Terezi!_

The pain enveloped him. He faded into further darkness.

xXxXxXxXxXx

When he finally awoke again, she was beside him. Her Perp robes were on, but otherwise she looked pretty much like the Terezi he knew and remembered. He tried to lift himself.

She turned his way as he stirred.

“YOU 4W4K3 NOW? SORRY 1 H4D TO KNOCK YOU OUT. TOO M4NY D4V3S 4T ONC3. SOM3T1M3S TH4T H4PP3NS 4ND TH3N TH1NGS G3T R4TH3R BLOODY 4ND 1 4LW4YS H4V3 TO M4K3 SUR3 1 K33P TH3 4LPH4 COPY 4L1V3. 3XH4UST1NG… H3R3. D1NN3R.”

Terezi shoved a spoon towards his face. She’d been holding a bowl of soup in her lap. As the spoon came closer, he realized he felt slightly nauseous. Maybe it was the after-effects of the gas.

He moved his face away to decline but her spoon just approached on the other side, so he opened up his mouth and took a sip. The soup was tangy and bitter, but it wasn’t bad. The bits of meat tasted gummy in his mouth and he chewed on them silently.

Terezi held up another spoonful to his face.

“Why?”

“YOUV3 B33N KNOCK3D OUT FOR 4 WH1L3. W3 H4V3 TO G3T SOM3TH1NG 1N YOU.”

“No, I mean, why this? Why are you the Perp?”

Terezi paused, looking at the bowl of soup in front of her. She shrugged. “1T H4PP3N3D.”

“Nothing just happens,” he retorted as she raised the spoon again, pressing it to his lips. He opened his mouth and took a sip.

From Dave’s side came sudden humming. Dave turned around and WV was sitting there humming to himself, while sipping on his own bowl of soup. His hands were free, unlike Dave’s, and he considered a spare piece of paper at his feet that he’d been presumably painting on. It was full of reds and purples and lots of his favorite color, green.

Dave turned back to Terezi. “Have you been mistreating him?”

“WHY WOULD 1 DO TH4T? 1 LOV3 TH3 M4YOR.”

“Then why would you do something like this? The Perp is the person who disrupts stability on the meteor. Causes chaos for everyone. A person that we all hate. You were even the number one person trying to catch them. So why would you be…”

“TH3 P3RP 1S TH3 P3RSON 1 CR34T3D D4V3. 1T S3RV3S 4LL OF THOS3 PURPOS3S 4ND 4 LOT MOR3. YOU C4NT H4V3 4 D3T3CT1V3 W1THOUT 4 CR1M1N4L R1GHT?”

“Then can’t you stop now? If you did everything just to spice up the meteor, I think it’s royally shaken up now, like Ghost Chili someone just poured all over their Mom’s garden salad. You got good momentum. If you stop now, maybe no one’ll really even know it was you. You can pretend like you scared the person off and now they won’t appear again. And you can keep a secret, can’t you, Mayor?” Dave turned to WV, who gave a jerky nod, ignoring them while painting. “See, WV’s good with secrets.”

Terezi’s lips rose in a tiny smile. “1TS TOO L4T3 NOW D4V3. YOU KNOW TH4T. 1 H4V3 TO F1N1SH WH4T 1 ST4RT3D.”

“But then who’s going to catch you? Who’s going to be “superhero detective” of the day if it’s not you, huh? It needs to be you.”

“1V3 4LR34DY S4CR1F1C3D TH4T POS1T1ON WH3N 1 TOOK ON TH1S ON3. 1 KN3W 1T M1GHT 3V3NTU4LLY 3ND TH1S W4Y. YOU C4NT PL4Y BOTH TH3 HUNT3R 4ND TH3 HUNT3D. 3V3NTU4LLY ON3 W1LL W1N OUT. 4ND W1THOUT SOM3ON3 TO CH4S3 TH3R3 W1LL B3 NO HUNT. 1 H4V3 TO T4K3 ON TH1S ROL3 1N ORD3R TO CONT1NU3 TH3 G4M3.”

“Is that what you think? Or is that what you’ve told yourself?”

Terezi sniffed the soup and took a sip. She laid the spoon on the ground and placed the bowl in Dave’s chained hands. “1TS COOL 3NOUGH TO S1P NOW.”

Terezi stood up. She pulled on her robes.

“Terezi, please, you don’t have to do this, alright? You can give up now. Rose might not even be too mad. Well, okay, maybe she’ll be a little mad since last time you saw her you put her in the hospital ward… But I can probably convince her not to give you an awful punishment. It’ll be chill. Come on.”

Terezi leaned down, planting a kiss on his forehead. Her face went blank as she straightened, pulling up her hood. Going over to the panel on the wall, she inserted a key and pushed a button. The thick wall that concealed them from the rest of the platform rose up. The gas and smoke that had coated the platform were gone, as were the bodies of the other two Daves. Dave had to assume they were dead, because otherwise he knew he would’ve come back for an ass-kicking and ended this whole situation a lot sooner. She said that she was tired of him time-skipping though… did that mean that she’d killed other Daves in the past? Including that Dave he’d sent to tail her?

Terezi—no, the Perp—walked out of their hiding spot, venturing into the platform and heading towards the exit as the wall slowly rolled down again, leaving the two chained captives behind.

Dave stared at the spot on the thick wall where she’d been, as if he could conjure her back into the room with power of will.

WV glanced over and pointed. “That’s spilling.”

Dave looked down. His soup had tilted over and was now slowly dripping out onto his pants. He righted it again. Took a sip. It actually wasn’t bad. Not bad at all. He kept sipping.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave found himself wandering within an entirely new setting. There were bulbous soft hills, sharp, jagged cliffs, rusted metal sticking out of random places, and constant churning of gears and soft caws that sounded occasionally in the distance. Oh yeah, and it was as scorching as the end of a red-hot fire poker stick. He kept pausing to wipe his brow from the sweat threatening to fall in his eye. This place was annoying.

He kept on, searching for something. He didn’t really have a good idea of what he was searching for, just that it was there and that it was important for him to find it. His sweat made his clothes stick to his skin uncomfortably and he fanned his face with a hand as he walked on. He crossed over bouncy hills, carefully avoided rusty metal ends sticking out from everywhere, climbed and skidded down jagged rocks perched haphazardly over the landscape.

When he reached the pit of hollow ground, he knew he’d found it. A huge X marked the spot. He paused before he started, looking up to wipe the sweat from his brow. That was when he saw her—Terezi. She was on the edge of a rock about forty feet away from him, bent over herself, hair falling into her face. She was dressed in her old clothes, jeans and a t-shirt, and she didn’t seem to register his presence. He paused for a second, wondering if he should approach her or call out to her. Or if he should bring out his sword and be ready to defend himself. But she didn’t do anything so neither did he. After a few more seconds, Terezi moved, pushing herself up. She walked off and disappeared.

Dave shook his head. It wasn’t important now. A breeze had started to roll through, cooling him off slightly. He kneeled down and started to dig.

Dirt flew from the ground as he tossed it over his shoulders. He didn’t really care where it landed as it as long as it was disappearing quickly and the hole was widening as it did. Soon his fingernails were caked with dirt and his hands were grubby but he still kept digging. He knew that he had to find it and soon, or else things were going to turn into real shit.

His fingers finally skidded across a metal base and he paused, running his hands across it. That was it. He found the edges and dug around the box, freeing it from the dirt.

By the time that he’d exhumed it, the sky had completely darkened from a light blue into a deep purple and as Dave rose, he became aware of the thundering sound of gears. They crashed around him as his brain caught up with his surroundings. Shit.

A sharp _caw_ was his only warning before a dark blur slid into view directly behind him and slashed in the space his chest had been a moment before.

Dave leaped back and spun, whipping his sword out of his sylladex and raising it in a block in one swift motion as the other sword came for him again. It was longer, a katana, and Dave kicked his attacker backwards before the sword came too close to his face. He’d forgotten that most people had longer weapons than his broken sword and he needed to readjust to compensate.

As the attacker slid backwards, he finally looked at the guy’s face. Underneath the familiar white cap was a face he knew.

Dave froze.

Bro?

He didn’t really have much time to question anything further because Bro took a step towards him and the strife began. They fought like they usually did, sword striking sword, kick and a dodge, punch and a flash-step. But it didn’t feel like any of their other strifes. Bro was bloodthirsty and Dave had the suspicion that if he even was one flash-step too slow he’d be the one gutted on the ground and bled out.

They fought quickly and swift. Just when he thought he might finally have found an opening, Bro closed it off. He kept disappearing and reappearing in the exact spot opposite of the one Dave had been anticipating. Come on, he thought he could read him better than this. But apparently this Bro was really good, and he soon found himself overpowered and outfoxed. The flat of Bro’s sword whapped him on the back. Dave collapsed onto his knees. He tried to flash-step up, but Bro cut him off, knocking him back down. Dave groaned and pushed himself up, only to be shoved back down. Bro hovered over him. His weapon was kicked away.

Dave was flipped over, coming to rest on his back, staring straight up at Bro. The man slipped his glasses down, giving Dave a clear view of his eyes. There was disappointment and detest in them. And also rage. A thick, overpowering rage that coated his face and bled into his body motions. As Bro raised his katana above his head, Dave received flashes of memories. Bro facing off with Jack. Bro being defeated, slammed onto the ground like a broken toy. Bro’s dead body, blood pooling underneath it, unmoving and silent, dead eyes staring out forever forward. And loud caws, like the stupid crow was watching the playback inside his head and laughing.

Dave grit his teeth, shutting his eyes. He willed it to be quick. The sword came down and sliced into his neck.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He woke up choking on a silent scream. It took him a few tries to place himself. It was completely dark in the confined space and beside him, he could hear light snoring and even a happy gurgle every once in a while. WV was still sleeping. He stayed still for a second, willing his heart to calm down, but his brain was in a state of panic. Sweat rolled off his face. He couldn’t breathe.

He saw his Bro’s face… again and again… His sword… The pain as it tore into his neck…

Dave curled in on himself, squeezing his eyes tight.

That hadn’t been real. That hadn’t been real. Bro didn’t really hate him. He hadn’t just killed him. Bro was already dead. He was gone and there was nothing Dave could do about it anymore. He had to just let it go.

One big fat tear crept out of the side of his eye. Followed by another. Soon, he was sniffling on the floor like a fucking baby. A pathetic sight for a Strider. His Bro would be disappointed in him. In dream space he already was.

Dave had to get over this. He could be better than this. He would be. He couldn’t be this pathetic. He wouldn’t be.

He shoved the memory into the recesses of his mind, trying to block out everything that had just happened. But in his mind, he knew that Rose had been right… he would eventually have to deal with this. It was already getting to be too much.

But that wasn’t now. He could handle it. He could do it himself. He shoved the thoughts back even further. Soon, his panic started to recede and his breath regained a normal rhythm. The fear and guilt and shame went away, replaced by numbness and exhaustion.

He finally slipped back into unconsciousness, falling into a restless, dreamless sleep. Later, he woke up with so many cricks in his body he’d felt like someone had beaten him with a bat in his sleep. He wouldn’t be surprised if someone had.

xXxXxXxXxXx

It was bowls of soup again. WV was allowed to eat his own food, but Terezi was still spoon-feeding Dave since his hands were still tied behind him.

“Don’t we get any solid food some time?” He’d recovered from his hysterical tearfest last night, and he suspected that his shades probably hid any residual trace of tears so Terezi and WV didn’t notice. Whether they noticed the embarrassing snot he’d had to wipe off on his shirt was another issue entirely. But neither of them said anything about it.

“DONT COMPL41N. YOU M1GHT NOT G3T 4NYTH1NG N3XT T1M3.”

“Go ahead. Starve me out. Nice skeleton to explain to Rose when she eventually finds me.”

Terezi grinned. “N4H. 1T WOULD N3V3R G3T TH4T F4R. 1 L1K3 YOU TOO MUCH 4S YOU 4R3, COOLK1D.”

“Completely flattered and swooning in a graceful dip to the ground. With lines like that it’s a wonder you weren’t wooing all the guys and girls on the ship. Should’ve all been lined up for your radical quadrant spaces, Tz.”

She giggled and leaned down to touch her nose to his. He automatically returned the nose touch, lips alighting in a flash of a smile, before he remembered who he was and who she was and that she was now technically his enemy. He pulled away, tensing and resuming a coolkid expression once more.

WV frowned at them from the other side, muttering something about “alien romance”.

“So will you tell me now?” Dave questioned, obediently opening his mouth for a spoonful.

 “D1D 1 S4Y TH4T?”

“You said that if I was good and obedient you’d tell me everything. You promised.”

“HMMMMMMMM.”

“Terezi.”

“F1N3. 1LL T3LL YOU 4 B1T.”

“A bit? What happened to telling me everything?”

“TH4T W1LL H4PP3N. BUT 1N P4RTS. 1M NOT GO1NG TO S1T H3R3 4ND B3COM3 TH3 LOQU4C1OUS V1LL41N WHO SP1LLS 4LL H3R S3CR3TS B3FOR3 SH3 3V3N PULLS TH3M OFF.”

“Alright, fine. So what is it?”

“YOUV3 S33N THOS3 M3T4L SH33TS 1V3 B33N DR4GG1NG 1N R1GHT? 1 GOT TH3 1D34 FROM SOLLUX.”

“Wait a second. You’ve been in contact with Sollux?”

“4ND 3QU1US 4ND 4 F3W OTH3RS. HOW DO YOU TH1NK 1 GOT MY 1D34S? TH3Y T4UGHT M3 4 LOT. 1V3 S33N TH3M 1N QU1T3 4 F3W DR34MBUBBL3S SO F4R.”

“Huh.” Dave wondered if she’d ever seen Vriska. The blue troll had never mentioned her. But then again, Terezi had never told him about meeting with the others either.

“SO 1TLL B3 US3D 1N MY N3XT TR4P.”

“Where’s it gonna be this time? Most of the good spots are destroyed.”

“H3R3.”

Dave cocked an eyebrow.

“TH1S 1S MY F1N4L3. 1 PL4N ON 3ND1NG 1T TH1S T1M3. 1 W4NT TO GO OUT B1G.”

“And what happens after you go out big? What happens at the end of this?”

“1 W1N.”

“What happens if the Perp wins?”

Terezi’s smile stretched wider. “1M4G1N3.”

Dave could imagine. Chaos. Sorrow. Defeat. Bringing everyone down to succumb to their deepest fears and terrors. Ruling the meteor maybe? Those are things the Perp would do.

“And you’re willing to do that? To win?”

“OF COURS3. 1 WOULDNT H4V3 ST4RT3D TH3 G4M3 1F 1 W4SNT W1LL1NG TO F1N1SH 1T.”

“And what if someone else wins? What happens then?”

Terezi was silent for a moment. “TH3N TH3 G4M3 3NDS 4ND JUST1C3 1S S3RV3D. 4S 1T SHOULD B3.”

“You don’t feel a little disturbed by that? That you wouldn’t be on the justice-serving end?”

Terezi shoved a last spoonful into his mouth and then set his bowl down in his lap.

“You didn’t finish telling me everything. What are you planning this time? What’s the metal exactly for?”

But Terezi had already stood up, pulling her hood over her head and masking her face. She’d gone into pure Perpetrator mode. She turned to leave.

“Terezi.”

The Perp paused.

“We’re still moirails, right? We’re still important to one another?”

She remained still for a few moments longer, before slowly turning towards him, regarding him beneath her hood. The folds of blackness obscured her face, denying Dave the ability to see any flicking emotions on her face. She lowered her hood slightly, red glasses pointed his way.

“YOU KNOW. 1 WOULD H4V3 W4NT3D 1T TO B3 YOU D4V3. 1F TH3 P3RP W3R3 3V3R D3F34T3D. 1 WOULD H4V3 W4NT3D YOU TO B3 TH3 ON3 TO DO 1T.”

Dave opened his mouth, but before she explained further she’d already turned and lifted her hood again. The Perp pressed the panel on the wall, opening the hidden wall and slipping under it as it lowered again, shutting them off from the rest of the platform.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He saw her again in a dream. He’d wandered into a forest, filled with dozens of large bright blue and purple trees. He kept walking until he came to a place that felt right. Scalemates hung from the tree branches and small flowers rained down on his head as he paused.

Terezi was there, hunched over in the same position he’d seen her in before, hair covering her face. This time he could see her more clearly. As he moved toward to her the troll didn’t move, continuing to sit silently and stare at the ground.

“Terezi?”

“1 TH1NK 1 M4D3 4 M1ST4K3.”

He came closer. She was hunched over a scalemate, clutching it in her hands. She didn’t move as he approached, staring at the ground. She spoke again.

“1 N3V3R M34NT FOR TH1S TO H4PP3N.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure we all didn’t. You can still change it, you—“

She cut him off as she buried her face in her arms. “BUT 1 H4V3 TO F1N1SH 1T. 1 C4NT STOP NOW. 1F 1 DONT TH1NGS WONT 3ND. 4ND TH3Y H4V3 TO 3ND. OR 3LS3 1T WONT B3 F1N1SH3D.”

It finally occurred to Dave that she probably wasn’t talking to him. Maybe she couldn’t even hear him. He watched her as she lifted her head again, running a hand across her arm, scratching along it. It seemed like a nervous motion.

“1 KNOW D3PUTY BURRSBR34TH. 1 M4D3 4 PROM1S3. 1F 1 DONT COMPL3T3 1T WHO 3LS3 W1LL?” She stood up in a huff, snatching up the plush in her lap and grabbing her walking cane. She turned away.

“Listen, Terezi,” Dave couldn’t help but blurt out, even though he knew she couldn’t hear him. “You don’t have to follow anything through. It’s your choice. Everything is your choice. You can still choose something else.”

Terezi stopped walking, pausing for a few seconds. She slowly turned towards him. He saw now that her glasses were off. She stared straight ahead, bright red eyes trained on the space in front of her. She slowly smiled. “1TS F4R TOO L4T3 FOR TH4T.”

Wisps of black wrapped themselves around her, slowly covering her arms, her legs, her stomach, completely consuming her. Soon she had transformed into the Perp once more. She faded away, disappearing into blackness, and then she was gone.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The next day, Dave started planning his escape. He thought about time-jumping, but the suspicion that if he’d already jumped time he wouldn’t have gotten into this predicament in the first place mixed with the fact that Terezi seemed to find a way to eliminate every double he came up with made him less intent on doing so. No need for even more dead Daves.

He could free himself from the binds, maybe, if he had a sword. Which he didn’t anymore. There wasn’t anything remotely sharp in the area either. And the only things Terezi routinely brought into the hidden room were spoons and bowls. That wasn’t going to tear through rope.

He could trick Terezi into letting him loose, but so far she didn’t even let him pee without his hands tied, and seriously, that got a little awkward. Imagine your blind best friend having to unzip and zip you back up without hurting or catching anything. It took a lot of trust.

Dave looked over at WV.

“Psst. Psssssssssssst. Hey. Mayo guy.”

WV looked up from his one-man chess game in irritation. “Mayor.”

“Got your attention though, didn’t I? Look, I gotta ask you something.”

“Yes, Knight?”

“You wanna get out of here, right?”

WV cocked his head at him.

“It has to be boring, just cooped up day after day, playing all alone by yourself in here.”

WV gave him a confused stare. “I enjoy being alone though. There are less people to interfere with my creations.”

“Yeah but… don’t you want more people to see your creations? Don’t you miss Paint Town?”

WV paused. He turned away.

“You do. You should help me get free, Mayor. Then I can help get you outta here and we can visit it again. And you can see all the others again too. It’s simple. All you gotta do is untie my hands.” Dave wiggled his fingers for WV to notice.

“I’m playing chess.”

“Don’t you want to see Paint Town again? It was really magnificent. You remember? I used to go in there and sit in it sometimes and just stare at the walls while you were gone. It’s a really nice place.”

“I will return when the troll Seer is finished with everything. She gave me all these nice things to entertain myself until then. She’s a very nice person, you know.”

So Terezi had convinced him to stay there until she was “finished” with everything? No wonder she didn’t need to tie him up. He’d be content as long as there were projects for him to do.

“But don’t you want to see it sooner?”

“I gave her my word that I would wait. A true Wayward Vagabond does not go back on his word.”

Dave sighed, sitting back. He might try needling WV more a bit later, but at this point it didn’t look like the little guy would be swayed. Back to figuring out another option.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The next few days were spent in and out of consciousness.

Sometimes Terezi was there. She left the thick wall rolled up so the space wasn’t as claustrophobic as she worked on her gadgets. New orbs that she tested against nearby walls and tossed into the air to see how they flew. Strips of metal glued together and gears and wheels that she strung together to create moving walkways. Some kind of wiring.

Sometimes she was Terezi. Laughing and joking and sociable. Other times she was the Perp. Silent, mysterious and distant. He swore the Perp looked through him rather than at him half of the time. And it was no less creepy now that he knew who it was than it had been before.

Sometimes it was just him and WV. They played and joked together. WV didn’t seem to be angry at him for failing to rescue him or anything. Or for needling him about it sometimes. In fact he seemed even more content in his space. He had more than enough to entertain himself, painting new artwork and crafting new spaces for himself. Dave marveled at the guy’s ability to immerse himself into small, intricate tasks. He could never find the patience.

Sometimes it was just Dave and his dreams.

Sometimes they were normal. The usual scattered, disorganized dreams that didn’t really make any sense at all. But most of the time, they were nightmares. Memories twisted into new and terrible realities. He and Bro fought. Sometimes Bro took on other forms, but most of the time the body lying beneath him was Bro’s and not anyone else’s and he was faced again and again with the reality that he’d killed him. That he was responsible for it.

Sometimes Bro killed him. That was better. But those were the times that Dream!Rose popped up again. She would stand there, silently judging him as he was being pummeled and sliced. She looked at him in disappointment until he finally died and he didn’t have to see her face anymore.

He woke up again and again with silent screams caught in his throat. Shaking. Sweating. Gasping for air. He felt like he needed to escape. But there was no escape to be had. No strifing. No competing with anyone until he regained his sense of reality and sanity again. He had to deal with it all himself in silence in this place.

xXxXxXxXxXx

“YOU SM3LL T1R3D COOLK1D. 4R3 YOU SL33P1NG OK4Y?” Terezi leaned away post-sniff, cocking her head up at him in concern.

“Considering that you’ve kept my wrists tied since I’ve been here and I’ve been roped to one post all night and day I’d be surprised if I were sleeping alright.”

“TH4TS ONLY OUT OF N3C3SS1TY. 1 L3T YOU STR3TCH 4ND W4LK 4ROUND.”

“Not often enough.”

She smiled and leaned in to press their noses together. He turned away.

“1 H4V3 SOM3TH1NG TO SHOW YOU 4NYW4Y. W41T H3R3.”

“As if I could go anywhere else.”

Terezi went to the side panel on the wall and touched a switch. The thick wall that cut them off from the rest of the platform rose. Dave’s eyebrows soon rose with it. Everything was different on the other side.

Metal, was his first impression. Metal everywhere. Covering the floor, shrouding the walls. Strings hung from the ceiling at alternating heights, with tiny bits on the ends that looked a bit like dispensers. And there were panels across certain sections of the floor.

“What are those for?” Dave nodded to the panels.

“TH3YR3 4 SURPR1S3 FOR 4NYON3 WHO M4N4G3S TO G3T TH1S F4R.”

“So what do you have lined up outside of here?”

“MOR3 SURPR1S3S.”

“Oh come on. You said you’d tell me more.”

“SOM3TH1NG 1ND1V1DU4L FOR 34CH P3RSON. 4ND 4 F3W D1STR4CT1ONS 1N B3TW33N. US3 YOUR 1M4G1N4T1ON.”

“So sort of like that… merry-go-round thing you set up before.”

“TH4T W4S 4 B4BY V3RS1ON OF 1T. TH3S3 S3TUPS 4R3 4 LOT B3TT3R.”

“And it involves metal, both here and out there?”

“MHMM. TH3R3 4R3 W4LKW4YS OUT TH1S DOOR.”

“What do the walkways do? Besides take people across the floor.”

“1TS 4 SURPR1S3.”

“Oh come on, tell me more than that.”

“1 H4V3. YOULL H4V3 TO W41T FOR TH3 R3ST.”

“Ughhhhhh.”

In lieu of a working escape plan, Dave had decided that he should find out as much information on Terezi’s schemes as possible. His thought had been that once he found out enough, he’d time-jump and tell the others so they could prepare and get him and WV out of there. It was a good plan. But Terezi refused to reveal much more than tiny snippets and pieces of information. Maybe she suspected what he wanted to do. It probably wasn’t hard to figure out.

Suddenly a sharp whistle pierced the air, turning louder as they listened. Terezi stepped forward—and the door to the smell-o-scope platform flew open as a spinning piece of paper whizzed through the air and fell directly at Terezi’s feet. Magic.

Terezi bent down, sniffing it carefully before she picked it up. She licked it once, as if making certain that the paper meant no harm. Then she unfolded it and licked again.

“What’s that?” Dave asked, after Terezi had silently stared at the paper for a few long moments.

“1TS 4N 1NV1T4T1ON.”

“From Rose?”

“SH3 W4NTS TO CH4LL3NG3 M3 TO 4 F1GHT. ON3 ON ON3. 4T TH3 PL4C3 W3 H3LD TH3 D4NC3.”

“Are you going to accept?”

“1TS V3RY OBV1OUSLY 4 TR4P D4V3.” Terezi turned towards him. She cocked her head. Now she even did the Perp’s behaviors without being in Perp mode. It was a little unnerving. “BUT OF COURS3 1LL 4CC3PT.”

“I thought you just said it was a trap.”

“1T 1S. BUT TH4T DO3SNT M34N 1M GO1NG TO F4LL FOR 1T. SH3 B3L13V3S SH3 H4S 4 W4Y TO DR4G M3 OUT TH3R3 4ND PUT TH1NGS ON H3R T3RMS. SO 1 W1LL H4V3 TO FORC3 H3R H3R3 1NST34D.”

Terezi took out a crayon, leaning down. She wrote on the back what Dave presumed was a “Y3S” or “CH4LL3NG3 4CC3PT3D” or something of the sort, and then the letter folded itself up again, whizzing back from wherever it came from.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The invite for the one-on-one fight had been for a few days from the date the letter had come. Terezi spent the rest of the time preparing for the fight, getting more orbs together, engineering more traps. She sometimes answered Dave’s questions on them, but most of the time she was silent, ignoring him entirely. More often than not her hood was up, indicating that she was now in Perp mode and would be completely unreachable by him no matter what attempts he made.

He sighed and turned towards WV for company.

His dreams during this time weren’t any better. If anything, they got even worse. He started having nightmares about crows and black wispy villains and an angry, aggressive Bro. More often than not he just tried to stay awake now. And if he had dark circles under his eyes or tell-tale signs of exhaustion, he was pretty certain they were too subtle for WV to pick up and Terezi was too busy doing Perp work to sniff him out properly. She delivered their food to them—they’d finally graduated from soup to sandwiches and Dave had to balance the food on his knees in order to eat it properly—and then she promptly left, shutting the door behind her again.

xXxXxXxXxXx

He didn’t know how he knew it had started. He just knew. His eyes flew open in the dark space, rising from a short bout of sleep that he didn’t remember falling into. He moved his head back and forth, listening. A slight hum came from directly outside the room that hadn’t been there before. Had Terezi put the trap into motion?

He looked over at WV and hissed at him. “Hey. Hey! Little man, wake up.”

WV stirred. “Hmm?”

“We’re getting out of here.”

“But we’re sleeping.”

“No, we’re waking. As in you need to get up. It’s time to go.”

“Where’s the teal one?”

“She’s… busy. But she already gave me the okay. Can you stand?”

“No. I’m tied to a post.”

“Well, wiggle around a bit. Try to see if you can get free.”

WV wiggled and Dave wiggled. The wiggling didn’t seem to do much good. Dave thought that maybe WV would be able to slide his way out since Terezi might not have done the ropes as tightly, but no such luck. His hands were tied down at night in the same way that Dave’s were.

Dave sighed. This was a terrible plan. Hell, he didn’t even know what’d they do after managing to get out of their ropes. The panel on the inside wall needed a key to work. You could open it from the outside without one, but from the inside they were pretty screwed. Nice work, Dave. You’ve had days to put this scheme together and this is the best you came up with? The whole not-sleeping thing probably wasn’t helping matters.

He finally decided that he’d just need to do it. Time-jumping would be his only resort. Who cared if Terezi would try to make mincemeat of his latest copy? He’d just need to figure out a way to keep it from happening. And if there was anything he had on his side, it was time.

Just as he was preparing himself, a sudden bout of noise sounded from outside the hidden wall. Gears churned and grinded, putting contraptions into work. Metal clashed against metal. A hissing airy sound like mist hit the air. Loud curses were spit out left and right. A few minutes after the commotion, light footsteps came their way.

The hidden door slowly rolled upwards, revealing converses, black jeans, a two-toned record t-shirt and shades perched on top of a gas mask. It was another Dave!

The new Dave trotted over, quickly slashing through the binds that held both current Dave and WV and pressed gas masks onto both their faces. Dave secured his, propping his shades over his mask like his alternate self had. Mist was spreading over the room, venturing into their previously-closed off space now. It must’ve been knock-out gas or maybe even poisonous.

The other Dave helped WV up after securing the carapace’s mask. He flashed current Dave a thumbs up.

“Sorry I couldn’t come earlier,” other Dave said. “Timelines are a bitch around this place lately, with all the magic in the air and the Green Sun’s weird influence. I had to jump around several alternate timelines to find this one. You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Dave responded, his words muffled and distorted to his own ears beneath the mask. There must’ve been a speaker or something because he could hear the other Dave fine though. He had to get one of these.

“Alright, let’s go. Follow me. This room has some sort of a puzzle to it.”

Current Dave followed other Dave through the room, stepping over the same spots of the metal that he stepped on. He guessed that other spots triggered certain things… maybe more orbs or gas? He didn’t really want to find out.

When they stepped out of the smell-o-scope room, Dave slipped off his gas mask and looked around for a second in confusion. Everything was lit a brilliant shade of purple, but beyond the weird lighting in the space, he realized that he had no idea where he was. The outside had been sectioned off into weird angular spaces, penned in by large scrap pieces of metal. Dave finally figured out what all the metal had been for. Terezi had been making her lair a maze.

Other Dave looked at him. His gas mask was now off and captchalogued as well. For the first time Dave noticed all the scrapes and bruises on him, as if he’d been fighting a huge battle before he got to him. He also had what looked like paint on his shirt. “Hey, so I’m gonna take WV and get outta here. You should go find Rose.”

“What’s going on, exactly?”

“Rose and Terezi are fighting one on one. Terezi caused a blackout that affected the entire meteor and to my knowledge, no power has returned yet. So Rose came here to settle things.”

“But then how are the traps still working?”

“She probably has some sort of generator specific to this location. Anyway, point is. You need to find Rose and help her out. The others are in here too, but they got separated and they ended up finding other shit to fight. If you want to save Terezi—and I know you do so don’t even lie about it we’re the same fucking person man you can’t fool me on these things—you need to make sure she’s defeated, alright? If Rose beats her, she’ll just come back for more. But if you do…”

“She always said if she wanted anyone to catch the Perp other than her it’d be me.”

“Exactly. She’s gonna play dirty with Rose though. So you gotta help her out.”

“Got it.”

“You’ll do fine all right? I believe in you. Hell, I am you. I just got done being you. Anyway, the point is, go in there, kick some ass, get shit done, then come save yourself afterwards. You’ll figure it out. Good luck.”

Other Dave tossed him Caledscratch—hey he had a sword again!—and took off with WV in tow, disappearing around a corner of metal. A few short movements and even the sounds of his footsteps had gone.

Dave tested the weight of the broken sword in his hands. Then he struck up a few quick fighting stances and moves. He was clumsy and stiff from being tied to one spot for so long. He stretched his aching muscles and then figured the sprint through the maze would make a good enough warm-up to prep him for a fight again. He took off.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The maze was difficult to maneuver. Actually that was kind of a major understatement.

As soon as Dave left the area that led to the smell-o-scope platform, he immediately fell onto his ass in sudden darkness, whisked away across the floor in the black hallway at speed. After a second he realized he must be on one of Terezi’s walkways and he scooped himself back up into a sitting position as he crouched on it, trying to regain his balance. When the walkway stopped and slammed him into a wall, he leaped off and landed on a completely different walkway. This one whisked him backwards towards the way he’d come, or at least that’s what it felt like it was doing since he really couldn’t see anything at all, and he groped along the side of the metal wall beside him, trying to find a doorway or an opening… something that led out of the space. His hand finally fell into an open space and he leaped off before the walkway took him past it—

and dropped straight down into further blackness. He couldn’t help it. He screamed.

The lighting became a dim red and as his eyes adjusted, he crashed onto something that muted his fall and yelled, flailing beneath him.

“WHAT IN THE LIVING PIECE OF A HOOFBEAST’S UTTER—GET OFF ME!”

The person shoved and squirmed and Dave quickly rolled off of him, before they sized each other up quickly.

“DAVE?”

“Karkat!”

“RUN!”

Karkat yanked him up just as what the troll had been running from finally rolled into the room. A miniature robot, tiny and really crudely made. It didn’t look very impressive, but when it raised the bars on its side that Dave guessed were its arms, he saw two really dubious pouches slide to the front and they were aimed at the two of them.

He raced away with Karkat as the bags took off, flying towards them, seeing to catch fire in the middle of the air.

They dropped and rolled and the bags flew over their heads, crashing into the wall in front of them. It immediately caught on fire, consuming their exit in a haze of flame. They picked themselves up and backed away from the fiery wall, looking between the robot and the exit. Fuck, now they were trapped.

Dave brought out Caledscratch, aiming it at the robot as more bags popped out of its back, preparing to reload itself. He nodded at Karkat. “Cover me.”

Without looking to see if the troll had agreed or not, Dave took off, flash-stepping towards the contraption. He was a blur of motion, zig-zagging so the robot couldn’t get a clear focus on him. Then he leapt into the air to strike at it. Apparently the robot had been prepared, since a metal roller came up to slam into his stomach.

Dave was knocked onto the floor. He rolled and pointed his sword at the robot.

But at the same time, Karkat had approached, slicing one of his sickles into the robot’s arm and spinning around to drive the other one in. The robot blocked and immediately the bags popped into its arms again. Karkat flung himself out of the way as one of the bags hit the spot where he’d just been, crashing to the floor in a burst of flame.

Dave struck at the robot’s back but the metal roller crashed against his wrist. He fell back, keeping a tight grip on his sword as he sucked in a breath. That hurt.

He flash-stepped again, kicking at the robot before it could reload its bags. Karkat approached from the other side, slicing with a sickle and then defending himself against the metal roller as it tried to block him. The robot moved backwards.

Bags slid into the robot’s arms again, aiming at them for the third time.

“We can probably drive it back,” Dave stated to Karkat.

“DO YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT? I KNOW THAT. LET’S FRY THE SUCKER LIKE A FLAMING SAUCER SERVED AT AN IMPORTANT PARTY IN AN EARTHLING MONGOLIAN BAR.”

“You’ve watched way too many movies. Since when did you start watching human ones?”

“WELL… IT’S NOT LIKE THERE’S BEEN MUCH ELSE TO DO ON THIS SHITTY EXCUSE OF A SHIP.”

They cut off their conversation, forced to dodge two more bags that had been shot their way and burst into flames behind them. Dave flash-stepped into the opening, whipping around to slash the robot’s middle and leaping into the air to avoid the metal roller that came his way. Then Karkat swung into place beside him, aiming a huge kick at the robot’s middle. It was blocked by the metal roller, but it provided more than enough distraction for Dave to swing around and roadhouse kick the little robot back.

It flew into the air. Its little arms went flying as it loaded two more bags into them. But it was too late. It crashed into the flaming wall and suddenly went up in sparks itself, fizzling out into nothing.

Karkat and Dave high-fived.

“Yeah!”

“YES!”

They paused, looking at one another for a second, before Karkat yanked Dave into a hug. Luckily Dave had lowered his sword beforehand or else he would’ve accidentally skewered him.

“YOU’RE ALRIGHT?”

“I’m fine.”

“WHERE’S THE MAYOR?”

“Mr. Cranky Mayo is safe. I rescued him myself. Well, actually I rescued both him and myself. Or my future self did anyway. I’m pretty sure that’s who he was.”

“GOOD. I WAS COMING TO FIND YOU BUT I GOT CAUGHT UP WITH THAT THING.”

“Where are the others?”

“WE GOT SEPARATED. I’M PRETTY CERTAIN THE PERP HAS MORE TRAPS SET UP LIKE THIS ALL AROUND. THEY PROBABLY ENDED UP FINDING OTHER THINGS.”

“Do you remember the way back? I gotta find Rose and Terezi.”

Karkat flinched at Terezi’s name. Dave wondered if he was having as hard of a time dealing with the fact that Terezi was the Perp as he was.

“I THINK I CAN FIND IT AGAIN. FOLLOW ME.”

The back of Karkat’s hand brushed his before the troll took off, leading the way into further dimness.

xXxXxXxXxXx

They made it back through the maze with only a few more complications. A solar panel that Dave mistakenly tripped in the ceiling that radiated so much heat he thought they were going to dry up and turn crispy and charcoal before they finally managed to open up a doorway to the next room. Then, as they were nursing their burns, they reached another section where balls suddenly shot out at them from all sides, and they ran back the way they came as Karkat wondered aloud if he’d made a wrong turn and Dave yelled back that was kind of obvious.

But the last area they slipped into before they found the place where Rose and Terezi were was an entirely different story. Dave was started to think that the Perp had lost her touch, until they fell into the room. It lit up upon entrance and they were suddenly locked into a confined space with the walls slathered in red. Dripping bright red, running down the walls, pooling onto the floor, coming closer towards Dave.

He backed away and found his back banging against the back of the door they’d just come through. He turned around, trying to find a doorknob, but there was nothing there. His fingernails scraped against metal.

“DAVE.”

_“_ DAVE.” Karkat’s hand brushed his shoulder. He jumped.

Cackling laughter sounded from above them. Not unlike Dave’s dreams. They both looked up. Dave backed away from the door again, swinging his sword through the air.

“IT’S NOT REAL. IT’S A RECORDING.”

His foot stepped back into a pool of red. His vision started to squeeze in. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breathe.

“DAVE. CALM DOWN.”

He spun around, but everywhere was covered in red now, even the place where they’d come in. He ran around the room, looking for an escape. There had to be a way out somewhere. Somewhere. He had to get out of here. He had to go.

Footsteps came after him. Karkat said more things but he couldn’t hear him. He couldn’t think. He had to go.

His hands scraped against the wall, digging into the red, until he finally found a button. He pushed it.

Immediately, a panel opened in front of him. Before he could even move towards it he was whisked in. There’d been another hidden walkway beneath him.

“DAVE!” Karkat reached out to grab him, but the panel slammed shut as he slid into the new room. The walkway came to a stop and he stared at the ceiling, panting.

A green orb was centered above him. It was still, innocuous-looking, held in place by two metal rods on either side of it. Glued to the ceiling were strings with rectangular pieces of paper attached to them. Dave sat up, focusing on the strips of paper. He stood up and grabbed one.

It showed a creature that could only be described as a cross between a goat and a fish creature. It was like a goat mermaid. The creature was dead, harpooned on the side of a beach, with indigo blood pouring out from it.

Dave let go of the picture, looking around at the others. Another was a picture of a guy with huge horns and robo legs, gutted through the stomach in a haze of brown blood. The next was a picture of a huge man-sized crab creature, blown into parts, bright-red blood splattered all over its corpse.

Dave brushed the pictures away, searching for the one he knew would be there. And there it was, his Bro lying on the platform, sword stuck through his body. He stared at it, bowing his head as his knees sunk to the floor. He squeezed his eyes shut.

A bolt of pain ricocheted through him, but it didn’t hurt as much as all the other times. Even the most recent times in his dreams. He forced himself to open his eyes, looking at Bro’s picture. In his moment of death, the man almost seemed peaceful, if he wanted to call it that. His eyes stared blankly out, revealing the guy’s true eye color since his shades were long gone. Dave stared at them.

It seemed a lot less… violent than all the dreams that had been going through his head. And Bro didn’t seem angry. Or sad. Or even vengeful. He just seemed kinda…

Dead.

Dave squeezed his eyes shut again, clutching Bro’s picture in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” he said to the empty air. Or perhaps to the room. Maybe Bro’s spirit was somewhere out there. In imaginary piña colada beach land where the other guardians were, chilling and looking down on him like the Bro he’d always known. Maybe he could hear him now. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I couldn’t save you. Davesprite couldn’t even save you. I’m so sorry.”

He bit his lip, sucking down his emotions. The air didn’t respond. There was no signal or sign that his message had been received. But maybe it had anyway. He had to imagine that it possibly might’ve gone through to whatever other dimension his Bro might be floating on now.

He opened his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. Now wasn’t the time to mourn his Bro. Now was the time to complete his goal. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to the other family member he had left, was he? No, he couldn’t.

Dave stood up, letting go of Bro’s picture. He looked around. There was a doorway in front of him, but no hint of a knob. The panel behind him had sealed shut so effectively that he wasn’t even certain where he’d come into the room at. Guess forward was the way to go. Now if only he could figure out how to get there.

He frowned for a second. The pictures were all attached to strings, the strings were attached to the ceiling, where everything was mounted around a surface attached to the green orb…

He impaled the orb with his sword. The pictures shivered and then burned as fire slid down the strings they were on, roasting them. Dave stared at them silently, nodding his head respectfully as charred pieces fell to the ground, burning out.

The doorway in front of him popped open. He stepped out into it.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The room that he emerged into was large, much larger than the small, claustrophobic spaces he’d had to move through. But what struck him most was that he recognized it. The drawings on the walls were the same ones that he and Terezi made when they’d held court together. And roleplayed out scenes. And watched movies together.

Fighting before the drawings on the wall were Rose and Terezi. Terezi was decked out in her full Perp outfit, hood up, wispy robe and sleeves, and her baton. She tossed an orb into the air that Rose blasted apart with a sweep of her wand and quickly retaliated a blast back at Terezi, who blocked it with a swift parry with her baton.

They both were sweaty and panting hard. Dave wondered how long they’d been fighting.

As Terezi tossed another orb into the air, Dave flash-stepped in and snatched Rose out of its path, pulling her back. The orb exploded into a bunch of sharp shrapnel.

Dave moved in, flash-stepping up to Terezi and swinging his sword. She blocked it with her baton. If she seemed surprised to find him there, she didn’t look it, though it’d be a little hard to register under that hood of hers anyway. She attacked him almost eagerly, clashing her baton to his sword, pushing him back with a few kicks and a scrape of her claws.

Rose shot a blast of lightning their way which broke them apart. Terezi jumped back to the other side of the room while he and Rose stood together.

“Good to see you’re well. Can you distract her?” Rose muttered to him.

“What are you planning?”

“I’m going to confine her so she can’t go anywhere. Then you catch her, alright?”

“Deal.”

Dave moved in. Terezi met him in the middle. Her baton slammed into his jaw. He reeled back, then retaliated, slamming the flat of his sword into her side. She inhaled sharply and slid away, holding her side. He came back for her, attacking her at every angle. It took all of her effort to keep up with him, which was exactly the point. She backed up steadily, until her foot hit a point that blasted purple smoke and made Terezi jumped away from it.

Dave looked around. Rose had done her job. They were now enclosed in a circle of rising purple smoke, creating an inescapable barrier. Sniffing noises came from underneath the Perp’s hood, probably sniffing out the new arrangement. When she was done she turned toward him.

He and Terezi eyed one another. Or well, he assumed she was eyeing him anyway. Her fingers played with something in her pockets, probably more orbs. He struck a fighting stance.

He flew forward and she tossed an orb his way. It burst into a haze of white light, blinding him even beneath his shades, and Terezi took advantage, getting a few good jabs in with her baton to his shoulders, legs and sides before jumping back as he recovered. Their weapons clashed again. She countered his blows and then he caught her by surprise, kicking her hard in the side. She slid across the circle, hissing as she exhaled a breath.

He approached her.

“D1D YOU 3NJOY TH3 ROOM? 1 S3T 1T UP JUST FOR YOU. 1 F1GUR3D YOUD B3 TH3 ON3 TO COM3 THROUGH.”

“Why?” He could’ve been asking why she’d figured it would be him. But he was really asking why she had set it up in the first place. Why had she gone through the effort? And how did she know about his… problem? She seemed to understood what he meant.

“YOU SOM3T1M3S T4LK 1N YOUR SL33P. 1T W4SNT TOO LONG B3FOR3 1 F1GUR3D OUT WH4T W4S H4PP3N1NG. 1M SORRY D4V3. BUT 1 H4D TO.”

“Just like you had to do all this other crap that you’ve been doing?”

“3X4CTLY. TH4TS WHY 1 M4D3 YOURS TH3 L4ST. 1 D1DNT W4NT YOU TO D34L W1TH 1T B3FOR3 YOU H4D TO.” She looked up. “BUT YOU C4M3 THROUGH. SO YOU TR1UMPH3D R1GHT?”

Dave was silent, staring at her. He didn’t know if he’d really “triumphed” over anything.

“I don’t even understand. Why would you do this? Why do you set up these games and traps to fuck with our heads? What do you hope to accomplish from it?”

“R3SOLUT1ON. H4V3NT YOU F3LT L1K3 3V3RYTH1NG 1S SO M3SS3D UP? 1 H4D TO F1X 1T. 1 H4D TO R3S3T 3V3RYTH1NG.”

“This is a pretty shitty reset. Could’ve sworn it was a continuation, if anything.”

“4 R3S3T C4NT H4PP3N W1THOUT SOM3TH1NG TO B3 R3ST4RT3D. SOM3TH1NG TO COMPL3T3. SOM3TH1NG TO 3ND. 1 B3C4M3 TH4T P3RSON. NOW TH3R3 4R3 ONLY TWO OPT1ONS. 31TH3R CH4OS CONSUM3S OR ORD3R F1N4LLY S3TS TH1NGS STR41GHT. 1TS P3RF3CT.”

“But everyone was recovering just fine.”

“W3R3 TH3Y? W3R3 YOU?”

Dave went silent, because he wasn’t entirely certain. He’d been a basketcase since he got on the meteor. Rose had gotten over-controlling and power-hungry. Karkat had completely lost confidence in himself. Gamzee and Kanaya had issues that they still hadn’t worked through. And then there was Terezi. Maybe they hadn’t been recovering fine. And maybe they would’ve fucked up even more stuff if it hadn’t been for Terezi’s extreme antics. But who knows? Who could even say what would happen? Wasn’t that just what people did? Fuck up and fix things and then do it all again?

“That still doesn’t make it right, Tz. It sounds more like a justification for everything, so you could create your mysterious, evil villain and not feel like such a bad guy at the end of it all.”

“1 4M TH3 3V1L MYST3R1OUS V1LL41N. TH3 P3RP C4NT B3 S3P4R4T3D FROM M3.”

Terezi suddenly struck and Dave had to leap back to avoid it. She attacked him fiercely, barely giving him a chance to block and parry. He was backed up towards the other side of the circle, where purple smoke shone in his periphery. He finally managed to kick out her ankle, throwing her off-balance as he slid around to her back, catching her in a headlock before she fell completely to her knees. She froze.

Her hood had gotten knocked back. Was it his imagination or did he see a smile on her face?

The purple smoke disintegrated and the borders of the circle disappeared as Rose came striding in. She pointed her wands towards Terezi’s head.

“I would say that you’re under arrest for deeds performed as The Perpetrator, but you would actually enjoy that. So instead, let’s just skip the formalities and drag you directly in front of everyone on this meteor to decide your punishment? Effective immediately. And if it’s up to me, it will be harsh.”

Dave pulled Terezi into a standing position. They started to walk. Dave guessed Rose knew a doorway out of this place because he definitely didn’t see one.

“ROS3.” Terezi looked over at the girl, who still had her wands trained on her. “TH4NK YOU.”

Rose frowned and perhaps those words were enough to throw both of them off, because Terezi slid a hand into her robes and tossed an orb into the air before they could stop her. It exploded into a haze of black dust, choking both of them. When the air finally cleared and Rose managed to magically sweep it all away, both Terezi and The Perp were gone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy fuck, guys. This has taken forever for me to complete, so I'm sorry for the sporadic updates, haha. But here's the final chapter of this fic. Please feel free to leave kudos and reviews. I love reading em. Thank you for reading and I appreciate you all. <3
> 
> P.S. I also have a tumblr now! http://zadekassel.tumblr.com/

**_Chapter 10_ **

Dave stared at the pillars that stood at odd sections of the room, tall and shining softly in the low light. The metal pieces each pillar had strung between them had already been torn down earlier as he slowly worked on ripping apart the Perp’s maze of traps and making it look livable again.

After Terezi had disappeared, he’d split himself into four and time-jumped. The first battle-weary Dave went to save himself so he could fight Rose and lead WV to freedom while the other three Daves went to find Gamzee, Kanaya and Karkat, who still hadn’t emerged from the maze. Rose worked on breaking down the block over the entrance. Once everyone was safely out, she started working on the issue with the lights. It took her a few hours, but by the time they all awoke from their exhausted sleep, the breaker-lights were all restored and life resumed as usual.

It’d been a week since then. Still no sign of Terezi or the Perp. No strange incidents. No stolen pies. Dave found himself coming back to Terezi’s lair, slowly working on dismantling the maze and destroying triggers and traps that hadn’t been activated yet. It was busy work for him and he enjoyed the solitude. It allowed him to get away from some of the busier aspects of the meteor and have some space from people too.

His thoughts were scattered, confused. He still felt like he spent half his days dreaming with how surreal everything felt. A part of that was Terezi’s distinct absence. They’d been together since he’d landed on the meteor, more or less, and now he couldn’t reach her at all. Another part was a sense of… dissatisfaction? The resolution that he’d been hoping to get from Terezi didn’t quite happen as he thought it would. He still didn’t understand her reasons fully. He still didn’t understand why she wouldn’t just… return to the old Terezi. And if he allowed himself to admit it, he still didn’t forgive her.

Dave flexed his hands. His thumb ran along one of his wrists, where he’d been tied down for the entire time of his capture. He clenched his fists. He still didn’t understand. And he was definitely still angry.

He brought his sword out from his sylladex. He started stretching.

“NOT CERTAIN I WOULD RISK STRIFING IN THIS PLACE. COULD STILL BE INVISIBLE HAIR TRIGGERS IN THIS ROOM FOR ALL WE KNOW. I WOULDN’T WANT TO EXPLAIN TO ROSE WHY HER DEAREST BROTHER GOT BLOWN TO BITS.”

Dave turned towards the entrance, where Karkat stood with crossed arms, looking over him.

“This isn’t a landmine or anything.”

“SAME DIFFERENCE.” Karkat scraped a wary look over the room, before cautiously stepping inside. “I CAME TO GET YOU FOR THE MEETING.”

Ever since Dave had returned from his kidnapped bout, Karkat had been keeping close to him. He came to get him in the mornings and they usually went to breakfast and then strifed together on the platform. Their old routine. Dave didn’t mind. His nightmares hadn’t faded entirely, so it was nice when he woke up in the mornings, sweaty and distressed, and found Karkat waiting outside his door. It was something that stayed silent between them. Karkat never brought up his addled, distressed state and Dave never volunteered the information, preferring to shove it off to the side in lieu of more interesting things, like arguing over who got the best piece of toast. But he was grateful.

Dave re-captchalogued his weapon, striding forward. He and Karkat left the room together.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The meeting today took place in the infamous Circle Room. When they walked in, everyone was seated around, buzzing with chatter. It still took Dave off-guard to see WV sitting amongst the kids again. It was almost like he’d never been gone. His presence filled the room with a warm spot, definitely, offsetting all the other possible negativity in the air. Or maybe it was just Dave who felt that negativity, he amended, glancing around. No one else seemed extremely tense or stressed about much of anything. It was just Dave who tried to keep himself from glancing at the door, like another person would walk in.

Karkat’s hand fell on his shoulder. He gestured towards the floor and took a seat. Dave followed suit.

“Alright, now that everyone’s here, let’s come to attention, shall we?” Rose started the meeting with a smile, addressing her audience. “The meteor is back in working action. After the initial work I did on the lighting situation I managed to fix the magical short-circuiting situation as well, so the technological mishap we had shouldn’t happen again.”

Dave shot up a hand.

“Yes?”

“How is this relevant to anyone but you?”

Karkat elbowed Dave as he dropped his hand. Rose narrowed her eyes, fixing him with a sharp look for several seconds before she turned away.

“Does anyone else have anything to contribute?” she asked, looking around the room.

WV raised a hand. “We need more paint!”

As WV lowered his hands, Dave noticed that they were, in fact, covered in dried paint splotches. Looked like he’d found a way to keep busy again.

Beside him, Gamzee nodded. “We’rE TrYiNg tO TrIcK OuT ThIs cRaZy rIdE We’rE MaKiNg.”

“And we need a lot more paint! We’ve only covered a fourth of the parts!”

“You guys are making a car?” Dave asked.

“FrOm tHe pArTs wE AlL Up aNd FoUnD In tHe sCrApS YoU’Ve bEeN ThRoWiNg oUt, BrO.”

“I’M HELPING WITH THE MECHANICS OF IT,” Karkat put in. “HEY, DON’T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. I’M NOT SHIT AT EVERYTHING I TOUCH. I JUST… HAVE YET TO ACTUALLY MAKE IT MOVE.”

“You could try cutting a hole in the bottom and just use your feet. Like big, grey, horned versions of the Flintstones.”

“tHe wHaT?”

“NO. WE ARE NOT GOING TO SCURRY AROUND WITH OUR FEET LIKE SMALL SQUEAKING MAMMALS ON A VERY OBVIOUS WHEEL. I’VE SEEN THOSE VIDEOS ON THE INTERNET, AS TERRIBLY CUTE AS THEY WERE.”

“So you have seen videos of your kind then.”

Karkat shoved a warning finger into his face. Dave smirked and shoved it away. Karkat came closer to scowl at him.

Rose clapped her hands. “Yes, we will get your paint, Mayor. Karkat, can you please resume your flirting later?”

Karkat slid back quickly, face taking on a bright red tint that was so hilarious even Dave had to grin. Karkat glared at him.

“I Have News As Well. A Few Plants Have Finally Started To Sprout In My Garden. As Soon As They Are Fully Ready I Can Begin Adding Them To The Stock In The Infirmary. It Will Be Helpful To Have Additional Healing Methods On Hand In Case There Are Any More Unexpected Injuries.”

“Are those safe for humans?”

“I Will Admit That I Am Still New To Medicine Regarding The Human Physiology But I Have Learned Quite A Bit In The Past Few Weeks. I Do Believe This Will Also Be Useful For Your Kind. Yes.”

“Cool.”

“Does anyone have anything more to add or is that the end of the updates?” Rose looked around.

“Just a question,” Dave added after a few moments of silence. “...Has anyone heard from Terezi?”

The room immediately tensed. People avoided Dave’s eyes, staring at the floor, at the walls, in the completely opposite direction. Dave immediately knew that it’d been the wrong question to ask. But he had to know.

Finally Rose spoke up. “No, we haven’t, Dave. Everything has been completely silent as far as her actions or whereabouts. I’m not exactly keen to root her out. If she needs her space, then that’s understandable.”

Her words were much gentler than her gaze, hard and glassy as she stared off into space, probably wanting to wring Terezi’s neck for escaping her, yet again.

“Cool. Just wondering.”

“Well then, I guess we’re done,” Rose nodded, taking back control of the room. “And now I have an announcement to make.”

Everyone’s eyes fell onto Rose again. An announcement? Dave wondered what it was this time.

“I think we need to have an election for a new leader. Because as of now, Dave and I will be stepping down.”

Dave raised an eyebrow, but didn’t protest. The whole stepping down bit hadn’t exactly been discussed with him. Then again, the whole taking on leader bit also hadn’t been discussed with him. In fact, a lot of things on this meteor hadn’t been discussed with him or anyone else here. That probably needed to be rectified. But truthfully, it wasn’t like he’d done anything particularly leader-like since he’d been here, unless you counted no longer engaging in food fights and abstaining from killing off his other selves. Dave glanced around the room and saw that the others had similar expressions on their faces, ranging from confusion to disbelief. He turned back to Rose as she continued.

“I think the past situations have proven that I am not the best person to effectively lead this meteor. Especially as bulldozedly as I have taken charge. And for that, I apologize.”

“Don’t think that anyone here hates you as a leader, Rose,” Dave put in. “As long as you don’t go dictator-apeshit on us again you’re good.”

“I appreciate that. But this is as much for me as for all of you. Now, as for a new leader, you guys should vote.”

Silence filled the room again. There were shuffles, the clearing of throats. Glances swept the room as people looked at each other.

“HeY, pAlEbRo, Do yOu wAnT It?”

“ME?”

“You Are Already Kind Of Leader Anyway, Karkat. You Could Resume The Full Role.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN KIND OF LEADER? I AM LEADER OF THIS ROCK. THAT WAS NEVER A THING THAT WAS REVOKED WHEN I CAME BACK ANNOUNCING THAT IT WOULD BE A THING THAT WASN’T REVOKED. THE ONLY THING THAT HAPPENED WAS THAT NO ONE EVER RESPECTED MY IMPORTANT POSITION AS LEADER, A THING WHICH I FIND VERY DISAPPOINTING, BY THE WAY. AND THEN MISS SEER OVER HERE TOOK OVER EVERYTHING AND WE ALL JUST FOLLOWED ALONG LIKE SHEEP TO HER BEAT. AND ALL THE OTHER LEADERS ON THE METEOR WERE FORGOTTEN, APPARENTLY. EVEN WHEN I PUT OUT MEMOS TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT I WAS ALSO, IN FACT, LEADER AND THAT I WAS DOING VERY LEADER-Y THINGS.”

“So that means you’ll take it, right? Solo status. No need to worry about Rose usurping your lofty, important role.”

“I approve,” Rose smiled at Karkat.

“I guess… this Knight would be better than the other Knight to take it. That one can be proven to sometimes be a pain,” WV said, giving Dave a glare that was only half-heated. They’d gotten to be buds when they were kidnapped together. They were the only people who were around during their capture, so what else were you gonna do? Couldn’t talk to the walls. Dave saluted WV in response.

“BUT… DOES ANYONE ELSE WANT IT? I DON’T HAVE TO BE DEEMED DEFAULT LEADER SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM …THE LEADER.”

“That sentence made like zero sense.”

“SHUT UP.”

“Dude. Just accept it already. You know you want it; stop acting all modest. You’ll make a good leader. You have amazing foresight about people, you love fixing problems, and you tend to care about everyone under your lead as a matter of course. You’ll be great.”

Karkat frowned, still hesitating. After a second, Dave guessed what he must be hesitating over.

“Hey,” Dave said quietly, so only Karkat could hear. “It won’t be like last time, alright? You’ve got this.”

Karkat looked up, meeting Dave’s eyes. He looked around the room. Confident faces stared at him from around the circle. Karkat nodded.

“ALRIGHT. I ACCEPT.”

The room clapped and cheered and whistled. Gamzee jumped up, wrapping his moirail in a celebratory tight hug.

“Meeting adjourned.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Karkat took on his new/old/still-current status of leader with vigor. For once he wasn’t being overshadowed or overstepped by Rose’s controlling demeanor and he seemed to flourish. They still met up at Dave’s room for breakfast, but after that Karkat happily trounced off by himself, examining the state of the meteor to figure out what changes needed to be done to it in his new term of rule.

Dave was happy for him. It seemed like he’d finally gotten back into a groove that he’d been missing for a little while. Unfortunately it also meant that they didn’t see each other very often, since the time that Karkat didn’t spend surveying the meteor he was cramped in a small work area with Gamzee, WV and a million metal parts and machinery, trying to get a new vehicle to work. Dave guessed that they wished that had their old engineering troll friend still with them. He’d be able to figure out how to make a functional vehicle in no time.

As for Kanaya, she had taken up her new garden as a full-time job again, growing new plants to help maintain the infirmary. Rose sometimes helped her out, learning about the plants and new herbal ingredients as she went along, comparing it to similar plants found on Earth and cross-referencing. Otherwise, she just sat there silently and let Kanaya work, writing the next epic story that she’d be sure to share with them another time.

Dave mostly spent his time hemmed up in Terezi’s lair. There were still traps to dismantle, parts of the maze to peel down, and areas to scrub and clean from the mess to make it livable again. He poured himself into the work, diligently and patiently carrying it out. He didn’t even time-skip and make it easier by having several Daves do it at once. This was his thing and he needed to do it the hard way.

Honestly, Dave needed the distraction. His mind was a mental mess. A maze of confusing thoughts, emotions, and conflicting desires and thoughts. The time that he spent in Terezi’s lair both made him feel safe and secure and furious and bitter. This was his own private place to deal with everything though, despite how close it was to the very issues that he was confused over. No one could intrude, nor did anyone really want to. The only person who ever stepped foot in the place was Karkat when he walked him here in the mornings, and then it was only just inside the archway of the door. Everyone was still pretty wary of traps and hidden snares. And Dave also suspected that they weren’t exactly very comfortable being around anything that reminded them of Terezi at the moment. It was too much like being one on one with The Perp.

He wondered if he should be a bit more affected by everything. He was the one most directly involved. But really what he wanted was to… see his best friend again. And talk to her, for once, openly and frankly. And then maybe give her a piece of his mind.

He also just really wanted her to come back.

Dave sighed, pausing as he dragged a heavy piece of metal through the space. He ground his teeth together, glaring at the floor through the darkness of his glasses. Then he kicked the metal in front of him. He let out a scream, long and angry, that no one would hear and that was pretty much for his ears only. All his frustration. All his irritation. All his bitterness.

Everything was still so fucked.

xXxXxXxXxXx

The place was a blaze of fiery orange, red, yellow and warmly-tinted pink. Diamond cubes twice his height were floating in midair on top of platforms, spinning slowly, as if they had strings attached to their tops and someone was slowly twisting on the edges. The light from the rising orange sun reflected off their shiny surfaces, occasionally flashing into Dave’s eyes. He was happy for his sunglasses.

He maneuvered between them, carving a path directly through the middle. A thin, gold line lit his way, urging him forward and showing him the direction to travel. He followed it hurriedly.

The place where he ended up was a singular grave. The marker was blank, but the dirt was freshly overturned, indicating that something or someone had been buried there recently.

Dave dropped down to his knees and started to dig.

Dirt flew behind him, crashing onto the ground beside him. The reflections off the spinning cubes flashed his way, sharp whizzing sounds in the air as they went through their rotations. Dave ignored it, continuing to dig.

Soon, his fingers finally fell onto the object and he dug it up. It was the box from before, one and the same. He held it between his hands, letting it rest there for a moment. This was it. This was what he’d been searching for.

“So you finally found it.”

Dave spun around to find a man that had flash-stepped on him so quickly he hadn’t even registered his presence. You’re slipping, Dave. You’re slipping.

He immediately dropped into a fighting stance, yanking his sword out of his sylladex.

“You gonna strife me in greeting?”

It was then that Dave registered two things. One, his Bro’s shades were off. His eyes were completely visible, showcasing an orange as vibrant as Dave’s eyes were red. And two, he wasn’t filled with the same rage and disappointment and other myriad of emotions that he always was before. In fact, his shirt wasn’t bloody and he looked perfectly normal, like the old Bro, outside of the whole glasses bit. Oh yeah, and he was speaking, which was a thing that nightmare!Bro had never done before.

Dave stared at him for a second. “Bro?”

“The one and only, in the flesh. Well, sort of.”

“Are you real?” Dave couldn’t help the excitement that was building up in him and the stupid tiny smile that was spreading across his face. He knew this was way too good to be true. It couldn’t be true. There was no way that it was true. But he had to hope, for just a second, that churning gears and crow squawks wouldn’t fall on him again as he talked and he could get a momentary conversation with this Bro. His Bro. He was pretty certain of that at least.

Dave didn’t even notice that he’d taken a step forward until his Bro’s gloved hand went up, stopping him. “Look, I just came to say a few things before I fade from the ethers of corporeal existence. First, you look good, lil bro. You look like you’re doing well.”

Dave shrugged. “Things have been pretty shit lately to be fucking honest, but I’m a Strider, so it’s part of the job description, right?”

“Wrangle shit so fast it doesn’t even know it’s blinded in a harness in the middle of a forty-two foot high ring until we lasso and skewer it through in bloody defeat.”

“Then we use the remains as stage base and set up an impromptu rap-off to celebrate our victory.”

“And slaughter every remaining hater with the coruscating jowls of triumph and claim our accumulated dues.”

They did their special fist-bump, including a finger-wiggle, slapped backs of the hands, locked thumbs and finally the bump. And that weirdly happy smile couldn’t help but pop back onto Dave’s face again.

His Bro clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I’m proud of you, Dave.”

Dave nodded.

“Now, open up the box.”

“Last time I tried to open this thing you appeared and sliced me into rodent-sized mince-bits.”

“Things change. Open it.”

Dave ran his hands over the box. After a second he found the catch and popped it open, pushing its top off. At first he frowned, because the inside was dark and it didn’t look like anything was in there. And then he noticed the tiny object poking out of the middle of the base.

He yanked and the tiny object slid out, becoming longer and longer until it finally became a full-fledged katana that he was holding by the hilt. His Bro’s katana. He didn’t really know how it fit in there since the box was about the size of a pencil case. Dream magic.

Dave looked at his Bro. “Holy shit.”

“It’s all yours now. Use it well.”

“Holy _shit_.”

“You’ve gotta work on your oratory skills. The whole thing about repetition is that it gets a bit repetitive.”

“Holy _fuck_.”

“Mild improvement.”

“Thank you. Bro, this is amazing. I think it’s my first unbroken sword since… I started this game.”

“Look, Dave. I think you’ll be fine. You’re strong now. You’re smart. You’ve grown into things. Believe in yourself. You’re good.”

Dave looked up from the sword to Bro and saw that his corporeal form was now turning more ghostly by the second. “Are you leaving already?”

“Can’t really control the exits.”

“We’ve barely had a chance to talk. I at least wanted to catch up with you post-mortem dead zone or wherever you went off to.”

Bro’s hand thumped down on his shoulder. Dave expected some sort of mushy remark on how he’d always be able to find Bro in his heart or how his Bro would always be watching over him or something… but the man just winked and slid on an extra pair of shades. He slowly faded out.

Dave was left staring into space, cubes rotating slowly around him, box open and abandoned at his feet. He looked down at his hand. The katana felt heavy. He opened up his sylladex and stored it into his specibi “bladekind.”

He looked up into the air. Bro had disappeared, but he might still be able to hear him, right?

“Thanks.” Dave nodded and tipped his shades, then he flash-stepped out of there.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Days went by the same. Dave kind of lost track of when it was or how long it had been since he’d emerged from kidnapping. He woke up, sometimes from nightmares but they were turning milder as time went on. Then after breakfast with everyone, Karkat escorted him to Terezi’s lair and that’s where he spent the rest of his day, dismantling, ripping things down, fending off leftover traps. It became a routine for him, something that he thrived in to keep track of himself. He knew who he was while he was working in the space and he also privately hoped that it would eventually lead him to a glimpse of Terezi. She had to come back sometime, right?

xXxXxXxXxXx

“DAVE!”

“ _DAVE!_ ”

The sound of Karkat’s shouts came over Dave’s thumping music beats as he scrubbed the floor of the area before the smell-o-scope platform. He turned the music down slightly as Karkat inched into the area, cautiously checking for any hidden booby traps before he took a step forward. This was as far as the troll had ventured into the lair since it had been turned into The Perp’s own personal mindfuck maze. Dave was impressed.

“DAVE,” Karkat hissed at him. “DID YOU FORGET WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET TONIGHT?”

“Crap, is it time already? I’m almost finished with everything. I have the smell-o-scope room to clear next and then one more section of this place and we’re in the clear. It’ll be all cleaned up and ready.”

“…FOR WHAT, EXACTLY?”

“For… anyone. Just in case anyone needs to use it.”

Karkat gave him a long stare. It was quiet and considering. Dave didn’t want to think about whatever thoughts were causing it. He turned away, resuming his scrubbing.

“I’ll be done in a bit, alright?”

“DAVE.” Karkat tugged on his arm. Dave tried to brush him off, but Karkat held on. “COME ON. COME WITH ME. LET’S TALK.”

Dave froze, staring at the spot he’d been scrubbing on the floor, but Karkat’s tugging became more insistent and he finally stood up. Karkat slowly led him out of the area and Dave tossed his scrub brush into the hallway as he was guided out.

They passed out of Terezi’s lair, through the winding hallways until they finally reached the doorway that lead to the upper platform.

Karkat dropped his arm as they emerged. Dave glanced upwards, gazing at the Green Sun. It never changed, did it? Hmm.

His eyes dropped back to the platform as he noticed Karkat trotting several feet away from him and dropping into a guard stance. Dave frowned. Immediately Karkat’s sickles popped out and he knew what was up.

“Hey, I’m not in the—“ Dave started, but Karkat advanced without warning, dropping into a crouch then lunging directly at his abdomen. If Dave hadn’t been trained for quick reflexes he would’ve been gutted. As it was, he brought out Caledscratch, since it was the weapon he was most used to, and managed to block and parry, ducking and rolling to avoid the blow aimed at his side.

He came up on guard as another attack came, directly over his head. He pushed Karkat’s sickles back, twisting to the side to elbow the troll away. Then Dave hopped up as Karkat attacked once more. Jeez, he was fast today.

He didn’t really have much more time to think about anything else as one of the sickles met his own and another one feinted and went to his opposite side, cutting into his shoulder before he could fully slide away. Dave slid back, pressing a quick hand to the cut. A bit of blood came away on his fingers, but not much. Karkat was staring at him with a satisfied smile.

That was it. Strifing mode officially engaged.

Dave flash-stepped and lunged, stepping into Karkat’s vulnerable side, but the troll brought up his guard just before Dave could hit, blocking him. Karkat kicked. Dave leapt away from it before bouncing back to attack. Their weapons clashed once more.

It was a battle of clashing swords, kicks, elbow jabs, grunts, and sneaky moves to outmaneuver their opponent. By the time that Dave finally managed to flip Karkat underneath him and pin him down so he could force him into surrender, they’d been fighting for at least an hour. Karkat was panting beneath him and Dave’s breathing wasn’t much better. They were also sweaty, bloodied and bruised—the usual state they seemed to be in whenever they were around one another.

“Surrender?” Dave asked, elbow digging lightly into Karkat’s throat. It was kind of pointless to ask, since Karkat had already gone limp underneath him and his sickles had dropped to his sides, but Dave figured he’d confirm anyway. He didn’t want to get up and have Karkat come after him because he hadn’t confirmed his win.

Karkat ignored his question, reaching a hand up to touch Dave’s temple. Dave could already feel how sweaty he was even before Karkat’s fingers came away glistening with the gross wetness. He raised a sleeve to wipe off his face.

“DO YOU FEEL LESS FOGGY NOW?”

“That’s what you dragged me up here for?”

“I THOUGHT STRIFING MIGHT CLEAR YOUR MIND.”

Dave groaned, rolling off Karkat and landing on his side. Karkat rolled over to face him.

“SO?”

“You’re the one who brought up the conversation. Shouldn’t you know what you want to ask?”

“FINE. I THINK YOU SHOULD TAKE A BREAK FROM THAT WORK YOU’VE BEEN DOING.”

“A break from what? Sitting in my fucking room twiddling my fingers all day? I’m not even doing anything. You and Gamzee and WV and Rose and Kanaya… you all have your little projects… There’s nothing that I need to do. So all I figured was hey, lemme take some time and do a nice thing, clean up the rooms that no one wants to touch so people can enter without getting hung upside down by a manic clown doll or something. It’s entertaining, alright? It’s something to do. Why would I need a break?”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE TURNING OBSESSIVE! YOU EVEN FORGOT ABOUT OUR DATE NIGHT!”

“I only have a little more to clean up. Then everything’ll be normal again.”

Karkat’s mouth moved like he was grinding his teeth together, silently in frustration. Finally he spit out his words. “DAVE, SHE’S NOT COMING BACK.”

Dave’s mouth went numb, wordless.

“AND IF SHE DOES, IT WON’T BE THE TEREZI THAT YOU AND I USED TO KNOW AND LOVE, ALRIGHT? SHE’S CHANGED.”

“She’s not really that person.”

“SHE IS. THE PERP IS TEREZI. TEREZI IS THE PERP. YOU GET THAT, RIGHT? WHEN SHE BECAME THE PERP… SOMETHING HAPPENED TO THE TEREZI YOU AND I USED TO KNOW. THE TEREZI I KNEW WOULD NEVER DO THOSE THINGS. THE TEREZI YOU KNEW… PROBABLY WOULDN’T LIE TO YOU ABOUT IT. SHE WOULDN’T HAVE HAD TO KIDNAP YOU. THAT’S HOW YOU KNOW.”

Dave sucked in short breaths. “I know that. I know all of that. But I also think that she can return and—“

“YOU CAN’T HELP HER. SHE HAS TO HELP HERSELF. I KNOW THAT’S HARD FOR YOU, SINCE YOU’RE PALE WITH HER. IT GOES AGAINST EVERYTHING A PALE PARTNER IS SUPPOSED TO DO. BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO STEP BACK AND LET THEM FIGURE IT OUT FOR THEMSELVES.”

Dave sighed, closing his eyes. He felt Karkat’s hand on his good shoulder, a warm presence. He let it stay there.

“I miss her. She’s my best friend. It’s seriously not the same with everyone else.”

“I GET THAT. TEREZI IS ONE OF A KIND.”

“Yeah.”

“BUT DAVE. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.”

“I never said it was.”

“BUT I KNOW HOW YOU THINK. WE’RE BOTH KNIGHTS AND WE’RE KNIGHTS FOR A REASON. WE OPERATE SIMILARLY. SO JUST LIKE THAT DAY THAT YOU HAD TO SNAP ME OUT OF MY MOOD… HERE I GO SNAPPING YOU OUT OF YOURS. IT’S NOT. YOUR. FAULT. IT’S ENTIRELY HER CHOICE. THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD’VE DONE. AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN DO NOW TO MAKE HER RETURN. YOU JUST HAVE TO WAIT. IF SHE WANTS TO. WE’LL BOTH WAIT.”

Dave was silent for a bit longer, mulling over the words. He sighed again. “….Thanks.”

Karkat murmured a noise of assent, sliding his hand down to intertwine with Dave’s fingers. They lay that way for a bit in silence, before Dave flopped his head to the side, glancing over at Karkat. The troll’s gray skin was still glistening with sweat, his long lashes falling over his eyes, his black hair plastered to his forehead.

Karkat’s head turned towards him, noticing him looking. “WHAT?”

“Nothing.”

“YOU’RE STARING PRETTY HARD FOR NOTHING.”

Dave shrugged. He put an arm behind his head, still gazing at Karkat. He raised a finger to Karkat’s nose, running the tip along it, up to the other boy’s eyebrows, into the hairline of his hair. He ruffled it. Karkat gave him a displeased look.

Karkat flipped onto an elbow, looking Dave over in turn. His thumb rose and he touched Dave’s cheek, the tip of his ear… Then his thumb trailed over the bar of Dave’s sunglasses. He tapped it.

“CAN I?”

Dave’s eyebrows knotted together, but after a second he nodded.

Karkat slowly removed his frames, folding them and placing them to the side. When Dave opened his eyes, he found Karkat staring at him, a reflective look on his face.

“YOUR EYES ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU SHOULD SHOW THEM MORE OFTEN.”

“They’re almost the same shade as yours now.”

“I NEVER THOUGHT MINE LOOKED NICE THOUGH.”

“Well that’s stupid. I always thought they looked pretty sweet myself. Don’t let that hemospectrum baloney get to you.”

Karkat was staring at him again, a slight smile on his lips.

“What?”

Karkat grabbed his shirt, pulling him forward, then suddenly Karkat’s mouth was on his.

Their lips pressed together into a warm, slow kiss. Dave leaned in eagerly. They hadn’t had a chance to properly kiss in ages. Not since Dave had disappeared, really. Tiny pecks, holding hands, brushes of physical contact under the meal table… that was about all they’d done since he’d returned. And Dave found… well… having the opportunity to do something more involved was a lot nicer.

Their kisses deepened. They picked up a rhythm that they lost themselves in and Karkat rolled himself on top of Dave, flattening him under his body weight. The troll’s tongue ran along the inside of his mouth and his claws scraped the skin underneath Dave’s shirt. Karkat’s body was pressed along his, so Dave could feel every hard muscle, which felt even better than when they usually wrestled and strifed. Especially since he could focus on it now without worrying about being stabbed to death.

Dave could hear the shift of Karkat’s breathing as its pace turned more rapid. The troll’s claws grazed upwards along Dave’s sides as the troll took his mouth away from Dave’s and brought it back down, towards his jaw line. Karkat kissed along it, carving a pathway all the way to Dave’s ear, tugging on the base of it with his teeth. He moved to the space of skin directly under Dave’s ear, sucking on it briefly.

Dave let out a sound that caught in his throat, biting his lip.

Karkat’s ministrations on his ear continued, forcing soft noises out of Dave as his lips trailed over his sensitive skin and his teeth teasingly nipped. Eventually their mouths connected again and Dave wrapped his arms around Karkat’s neck, pulling himself closer to the troll’s mouth. He slid his tongue inside his mouth, running along the roof of the other guy’s mouth, sliding along the sharp teeth, running his tongue along the other’s. Their tongues swirled around one another and moans came from Karkat this time, deep in the base of his throat. Nice. Dave definitely wanted to hear that sound more.

It occurred to Dave that they were in a public space, in the middle of a platform where anyone could technically come out and spot them. It’s not like it was the most popular space on the meteor, but…

Dave broke off from the kiss breathlessly. “Should we really…?”

“DO YOU WANT TO STOP?”

“I just mean, we’re kind of in the middle of a public space.”

“I DON’T CARE.”

Karkat’s mouth nuzzled into his neck, kissing along it, before pressing themselves back onto Dave’s lips again. Dave found he didn’t really care either.

Dave pressed his hips into the troll’s, who grinded against him in turn. Dave was already hardening and the press of Karkat’s bulge against him made the process even faster. He’d been an idiot if he didn’t think he liked guys before this because… yeah, this was hot. Dave grabbed Karkat’s ass, pressing the guy further down onto his hips.

Karkat broke away from their kiss, planting two tiny kisses on Dave’s neck before rolling the bottom of Dave’s shirt up. Dave wiggled out of the fabric, yanking it off over his head. He came back to kiss Karkat vigorously again, before rolling up the troll’s t-shirt as well. That one was shed just as quickly, thrown somewhere within the general vicinity. Neither of them stopped to actually look where.

Karkat grinded their crotches together, causing Dave to bite his lip once more and dig his fingers into Karkat’s skin.

“HARDER.” The word came out more as a breath than a command.

Dave obeyed, digging his fingernails into Karkat’s back. A contented noise came from his partner, so Dave figured it had been exactly what he wanted. He liked scratches. Good to know.

Karkat’s tongue flicked against Dave’s neck. It was a little ticklish. It was followed by the brush of the troll’s lips and short sucking sensations as Karkat left what were definitely marks on his neck. Goddamnit. He dug into Karkat’s back for that, drawing more than a few scratches. Definitely some blood too.

Karkat’s tongue went down to his collarbone, licking along it, planting soft kisses and sucking briefly along it. Dave jumped as Karkat nipped at his skin with his sharp teeth. Karkat looked up.

“SORRY. WAS THAT OKAY?” Karkat’s face was flushed, his eyes filled with a lustful haze.

“Yes. Definitely.” He bent to kiss Karkat again.

“HOW FAR DO YOU WANT TO GO?”

Dave’s face may or may not have turned a more vibrant shade of red. “Like…”

Karkat nodded towards their still-buckled pants.

“Please.”

Karkat’s lips met his again.

The kiss turned slow and deep, less fervorous than before. Dave fell into the rhythm, relaxing against Karkat. The troll started to undo Dave’s belt buckle and the zipper on his jeans. Karkat’s hand shoved itself into Dave’s pants for a moment, caressing him through his underwear. Ah. Yes. Good.

Then his hand was gone and so was Karkat’s mouth. He leaned back to yank Dave’s pants off. He couldn’t get it over Dave’s trainers, so there was a momentary struggle, and Dave shook his head.

“Don’t worry about it.”

He grabbed the band of Karkat’s pants, pulling him closer so he could undo his belt loop properly. As he managed to shove down the troll’s pants, it finally occurred to him that there was a very strong possibility that Karkat could have different… bottom parts than he was used to. Despite being grey and pointy, the trolls were actually pretty humanoid, so Dave tended to forget that there may be anatomical differences after all.

He did the same motion Karkat did to him, brushing his hand along the guy’s underwear. There was definitely a bulge there and it was hardening further under his fingers. Alright, so maybe whatever he had wasn’t so alien after all. That was a relief.

Their mouths met again. Karkat pushed him back flat onto the platform and wrapped an arm around him, shifting Dave’s bottom half so that it rested directly underneath Karkat’s bulge. Dave wrapped his legs around the other boy, pinning their hips to one another and Karkat started to move, grinding against him. It was slow at first, then the rhythm increased to fast-paced.

They panted against each other’s mouths. Karkat’s teeth nibbled on Dave’s lower lip and Dave’s tongue slid against Karkat’s lips, until the troll opened his mouth, allowing Dave access. Then they were sloppily kissing again while they dry-humped each other like animals in heat. It was… great, honestly. Dave was glad that Karkat hadn’t suggested taking off their underwear because he wasn’t certain if he was ready to see alien anatomy yet. Maybe that formal introduction would wait until… next time? When he’d had a bit more time to process the idea.

Karkat’s breathing came shallow and quick, right beside Dave’s ear. Dave groaned and Karkat followed suit, before sloppily kissing him again. The rhythm increased.

Dave knew he had reached his limit. He pulled away slightly, sliding his hand into his underwear as he finished himself off. A few more seconds and he came, all over his stomach and apparently, on Karkat’s stomach as well. Smart move, that one.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to—“

Karkat shut him up with a kiss and yanked him forward, pulling him up to a sitting position in Karkat’s lap. He pressed Dave’s body close to his, continuing the kiss as he pulled himself out of his underwear as well, finishing himself off. Dave concentrated on the kiss, sucking and licking on Karkat’s bottom lip, until Karkat’s tongue ran against his own lips and he parted to let the troll’s tongue in. They kissed for a few seconds longer before he felt Karkat cum, a shudder rolling through his body along with a deep moan and hot, thick liquid coating the back of Dave’s bare thigh.

Dave pulled back from the kiss once Karkat released him.

“Wow.”

Karkat grinned. They kissed once more and then the troll pulled away. “WE SHOULD PROBABLY CLEAN UP.”

Dave thought about the fact that they had absolutely zero materials to do that with and winced. “My room is a shorter trip, I guess. We could shower and then—“

A fluffy towel was tossed at his face. Dave stared at it then looked at Karkat then back to the towel.

“Do you just carry towels around on you at all times?”

“…IT WAS DATE NIGHT SO I THOUGHT I SHOULD BE PREPARED.”

Dave cocked an eyebrow. “ _Really_?”

“WELL LOOK, I WAS RIGHT, WASN’T I?”

That didn’t stop Dave from laughing at the incredulity of it all.

“YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GET OFF ME NOW UNLESS YOU WANT TO GO AGAIN.”

Dave did notice that Karkat was still breathing rather shallowly. He did them both a favor and stood up, wiping off the bodily fluids. He noticed that Karkat’s were candy-red, which was rather interesting. Then Dave yanked up his underwear and pants, looking around for his discarded shirt. Naturally it had flown all the way to the other side of the platform. Great.

Karkat had already slid on his shirt and was yanking on his pants when Dave came back. He cursed as his foot got caught in one of the legs.

“Yo, crabby face.” Dave came closer as Karkat managed to slide his pants on properly. Karkat looked up, frowning as he refastened them. “Do you want to continue our date tomorrow? I’ll make it up to you. All-nighter. Romantic feast. Movies. Marathon of your choice.”

“YOU HATE MY MOVIES.”

“Well I never said I would have to fall in love with them, but it doesn’t mean I still won’t happily suffer through a few banal repetitive formulaic plots with you if you enjoy ‘em. Least I can do since I fucked up so badly earlier.”

Karkat’s face alit with a grin. “DEAL.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

 The explosions were where he came across her. Dirt blasted into the sky in alternating craters. A speck of color flashed over the area, darting back and forth as she moved around. An excited scream hit the air and then more dirt flew up, creating a new dust cloud.

Dave hovered over the scene, slowly lowering himself to the ground, staying clear of the exploding regions. Vriska was busy fighting something small, fast and furry. It hopped around, avoiding her strikes and her occasional exploding dice.

“Need any help?” Dave called out, raising eyebrows at her.

She scowled, turning towards him. “I’ve got it!” And then she almost got impaled by thing’s teeth.

Now, Dave could see it a lot more clearly. If he hadn’t seen the shiny dripping fangs that extruded past its lips, much too long for the mouth it was contained in, he would’ve sworn it was a normal bunny rabbit.

It snapped the edge of Vriska’s pants as she leapt away, sliding across the dirt.

Dave pulled out his sword. Guess it was time to step in.

He darted forward, flash-stepping behind and around the bunny, striking out. But the bunny was smarter than he’d given it credit for, hopping straight up into the sky to avoid his blow and then kicking him on the way down, to add to the insult.

Dave stumbled back as Vriska came into the picture, swinging forward with her metal arm. She managed to clock the bunny, but it turned around before she could retract her arm, biting into it. At least it was her robotic arm, Dave thought, otherwise it would’ve been toast.

As she punched it in the face, dislodging it, Dave came forward and lunged with his sword. The bunny dodged him a few times before he finally managed to whap it with the flat of his blade, splattering it onto the ground.

The bunny picked itself up and turned tail, racing off into the dust.

“Hey! I need that stupid 8unny!” Vriska raced after it and Dave sprang into the air, flying after it as well. He managed to flip in front of it, cutting off its escape route as Vriska cornered it from behind. She tossed a die into the air.

She thrust her arm forward and suddenly blue ropes shot out of her shirt. She managed to ensnare the bunny while it was too busy staring at Dave. The bunny fidgeted and bucked and tried to chew out of the ropes, but whatever special powers Vriska had lucked into the rope seemed to work because it definitely wasn’t escaping. She wrapped the edge of the rope around her wrist, monitoring the bunny as it tried to wiggle its way out.

“Awesome. Thanks a 8unch.”

Dave nodded, putting his sword away. “So can I ask why you were chasing that thing anyway? Just decided that fluffy white meat would be perfect for your Saturday cookout or…?”

“I’m hunting for treasure.”

“Is the bunny a leprechaun or something because maybe I missed the emerald green tophat.”

“Don’t 8e an idiot. It’s o8viously the first step in a series of steps that I need to complete to save the universe. Duh.”

“Right.” Because Dave would’ve totally come up with that on his own.

“So now, thank you for your cooper8tion. Your aid was appreciated. You can 8e dismissed.”

“Wow no warm welcome back from not having seen one another for so long? Rude, Vrisk. I’m feeling frostbite over here from all the ice in that send-off. Actually now that I’ve got you, I kinda wanna ask you something.”

Vriska raised an eyebrow, curiosity taking over her impatience.

“It’s about Terezi.”

“Hmmm? What has Redglare gotten herself into this time?”

“She’s been… kind of weird lately. Like, she’s started to act pretty much how you used to when you were alive and all.”

“Ha?” Vriska laughed. “You mean little righteous detective girl went all 8adass without telling me? Nice. So what’s the pro8lem?”

“She’s completely different. She’s not like the Terezi we used to know. She acts like it’s not something weird but she seems really… sad I guess. Or broken.”

Vriska sighed. She rolled her eyes, yanking the fingers of the hand that wasn’t intertwined with the bunny’s ropes in her hair. “Of course she would. She’s a total perfectionist, Class A.”

“What does that mean?”

“Have you asked her why she’s doing this?”

“She just said she was bored. But somehow I don’t think boredom changes your entire personality and moral structure.”

“Hmmmmmmmm.” Vriska laughed at a thought. “No way.”

“What?”

“She could 8e guilty.”

“Over what?”

“Killing me, what else, fucknerd? Was that around the time she started getting all weird?”

Dave hadn’t exactly been there right after Terezi killed Vriska, but the whole Perp thing did start shortly after he came, which was shortly after the time all the deaths had happened on the meteor, come to think of it. “Now that you mention it. Maybe.”

“Terezi has an o8sessive need for justice and to 8ring anyone who she sees as guilty to punishment. She will always find a way to strike them down. And if she thought she were the criminal then she’d create a situation so she could 8e punished instead.”

Dave thought about the last conversation he’d had with her, where she talked about how things needed to be righted and she either had to be punished or had to win. Actually it made way more sense now, with Vriska’s suggestion.

“Look, when you see her again. Tell her that I’m not mad at her. She has nothing to 8e guilty over, alright? What’s done is done. I was a 8itch and I got what I deserved. And now I’m stuck here wandering around aimlessly while I try to figure out what the hell else I want to do with my currently crappy afterlife. I’m happy that she was the one who carried it out. I’m actually proud of her. 8ut… I’m not exactly one to say that 8eing 8ad is 8ad… 8ecause it’s not. 8ut I don’t think she should 8e 8ad just to punish herself. It’s all a8out enjoying yourself. Knowing your worth. Taking from others 8ecause you deserve it and they’re spineless little punks who let you. If they ever stop 8eing punks, then may8e you’ll grace them with the time it takes to consider them. Terezi was always great at knowing herself and what she wanted and doing what she had to in order to get it. Even if it wasn’t quite 8y methods I would choose. So I’d remind her of that. I trust you’re a decent orator, may8e not as great as me, 8ut you’ll figure out how to say it.”

Dave nodded at Vriska. “Thanks.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m am8zing and perfect and you’re in total awe. You’re welcome.”

The tug on Dave’s neck indicated it was time to go. He nodded towards Vriska’s capture. “Good luck with that bunny. Hope a pot of gold jumps out.”

“Oh, it’ll 8e a lot more profita8le than a pot of gold, 8elieve me.”

He saluted her as he popped out of dream-existence.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Things started rolling again when he insisted on the dance.

Dave talked to Rose, who wasn’t certain about it, and then Karkat, since as de-facto leader he should probably know what was going on. After he’d managed to convince them that it’d be a great way to move on past recent events and have some fun again, they finally approved the idea.

And then the ball was rolling. Dave posted flyers, announcing that there would be an upcoming dance and let the excited chatters begin.

It had been a tiny lie. The real reason why he wanted to throw the dance wasn’t because of moving on or because it would be fun, although those were also good reasons to do it. It was because he had a suspicion that if he advertised it prominently enough, Terezi would see it wherever she was hiding. And if there was one thing that Terezi and The Perp both had in common, they loved to be where main attractions were.

xXxXxXxXxXx

When Dave arrived, Rose and Karkat were already seated. He entered the room with a slight knock on the open door, but neither Rose nor Karkat heard him, continuing their argument.

“WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO GO FOR THAT? THAT’S APPALLING. THAT’S TERRIFYING. NO ONE’S GOING TO WANT THAT AT THEIR DANCE.”

“I think it’s a rather stupendous idea myself. Could your reluctance be due to any internalized bias or subconscious trauma leading to inexplicable terror in relation to the subject matter?”

“NO. IT’S BECAUSE IT’S TERRIFYING.”

“What are we talking about?” Dave interrupted, coming into their line of view.

“I asked him if we could have a wizard-themed event.”

“NO. YOU ASKED ME IF WE COULD SUBMERGE THE ROOM IN DARKNESS AND HAVE A BIG BALL OF TENTACLES HANGING DOWN TO SCOOP US UP INTO ITS ENIGMATIC BLACK DEPTHS.”

“There was magical lighting and disco balls involved. There would also be available party items at the concessions stand, such as makeshift wands and wizard hats.”

“Yeah, maybe we should tone it down a bit,” Dave told his sister, sitting down on the bed next to Karkat.

The troll nodded in relief as he did so. “SEE. I TOLD YOU.”

Rose sighed. “Fine. I still think my idea would’ve been fabulous though. What theme should we do this time? Since you were involved in the initial dance planning process last time.” Rose’s eyes flickered over to Dave.

Dave panicked, realizing he was up. Shit, he hadn’t actually… come prepared with any ideas. Dave had to think for a moment, cycling through classic themes. Most were all overdone and really tawdry. But there was one that might be kinda fun.

“Halloween themed.”

“ _Really?_ ”

“What? It lets everyone come in an outfit of their choosing. It has enough creepy, dark atmosphere for you while still being fake enough to let Karkat sleep at night without wetting the bed.”

“TCH. AS IF I EVER WOULD. I WAS JUST SAYING THAT IT WOULD BE A LITTLE BIT, NO DID I SAY LITTLE, MORE LIKE _MASSIVELY_ OVERBLOWN CROCKPOT OF—“

“I like it. Let’s go for it,” Rose smiled.

Karkat scowled. “WHAT IS HALLOWEEN, EXACTLY?”

Dave answered,“It’s basically a celebration where people dress up in unimaginative cheap outfits and pretend they’re actually frightening and recycle a few traditional horror themes around. I’ll show you a few movies later.”

Karkat’s eyes snapped to his, a slight grin on his face. Last time they’d watched movies… Dave cleared his throat and looked away.

Rose smiled beneath a hand, but had the grace not to say anything embarrassing. Luckily. She’d probably tease him about it later or something.

“So, should we settle dress code, times, meeting space?”

“Oh come on we all know where we’re meeting.”

“And where is that exactly?”

“…The same place we held the dance before. Doesn’t that just seem kinda right?”

Rose and Karkat fell silent.

“We can’t avoid spaces that remind us of her forever, you know. We have to move on with our lives too.”

“I know that, Dave. It’s just—“

“NO, HE’S RIGHT. IT’S THE PERFECT PLACE. WE SHOULD HAVE IT THERE AGAIN.”

“That might make a few people uncomfortable. Like your moirail, for instance.”

“I’LL TALK TO HIM. IT’LL BE FINE.” Karkat glanced at Dave. “I THINK IT WOULD BE IMPORTANT TO HOST IT THERE. SO SOME PEOPLE COULD FINALLY MOVE ON.”

Dave met Karkat’s eyes. There was a serious look in them. The troll didn’t know exactly what he was planning or why he’d come up with this event in the first place, but Dave was pretty certain it was the opposite of what Karkat meant by moving on. Dave looked away, unable to look at him straight.

“Fine then,” Rose conceded. “That’s settled. Now let’s talk about… concessions. Drinks. Party arrangements.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

The day of the dance was finally settled for two weeks from that day. It would give everyone time to prepare and maybe even figure out outfits for it. Kanaya happily volunteered to create their outfits. It seemed like she enjoyed the challenge from last time and now that she wasn’t having a passive-aggressive battle with her girlfriend the mood was less like a battleground and more like actual fun.

Karkat and Dave argued over what their costumes should be. They wanted to come as a pair, but when they couldn’t agree on anything Dave almost gave up the idea and just decided they could both solo their outfits.

“It shouldn’t be this hard to decide on an outfit.”

“WELL IT WOULDN’T BE IF YOU DIDN’T WANT ALL THE WEIRD STUFF.”

“All the things I want are pure gold. Even you’ve got to admit that, come on.”

“SURE, IF BY GOLD YOU MEAN MOLTEN LIQUID SO WRETCHED BRIGHT THAT NO ONE EVER WANTS TO LOOK AT IT OR GO NEAR IT, THEN IT IS PURE GOLD.”

“I think the zombie figure skating idea was great.”

“NO ONE WANTS TO WEAR SPANDEX.”

“Okay, fine. How about—“ Dave got it. “Jack and Rose.”

Karkat frowned at him.

“You’re a geek for romantic shit, right? What’s more ironic than going as it for Halloween? Think about it… from Titanic. Jack and Rose. But like… ironically.”

“WE ARE NOT GOING AS ZOMBIE JACK AND ROSE.”

“Well I was thinking more like JacktheRipper!Jack and mental-asylum!Rose but…”

“GHOSTS. GHOST JACK AND ROSE. IT’D BE PERFECT. IT’S LIKE… THEIR LOVE TRANSCENDED THE BOUNDARIES OF TIME AND SPACE. THEIR SOULS COULDN’T HELP BUT REACH OUT TO ONE ANOTHER AND FIND EACH OTHER AGAIN. AT A TIME IN WHICH ROSE HAS HAD A CHANCE TO LIVE OUT A SUCCESSFUL AND PRODUCTIVE LIFE AND FINALLY HAS ANOTHER CHANCE TO BE REUNITED WITH HER OLD, ONE TRUE LOVE, WHO SHE’D BEEN UNDULY SEPARATED FROM. IT’S AMAZING.”

“So you’re excited?”

Karkat’s face was glowing. “OKAY BUT WAIT A SECOND. WHO’S GONNA BE ROSE?”

“Well, I have blond hair so I figured I’d be Jack.”

“WHAT DOES BLOND HAIR HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? JACK’S A TROLL.”

“Not in Earth version.”

“I AM NOT STRAPPING ON FAKE MAMMARY GLANDS FOR YOU.”

“Look, you didn’t want spandex. You don’t want a long wig now. You’re kinda hard to please here.”

“YOU SHOULD DO ROSE. YOU HAVE THE PRETTIER FACE.”

“Was that a subtle insult or a compliment because I honestly can’t tell.”

“YOU’LL LOOK FANTASTIC IN A BALLGOWN.”

“You can’t wheedle me into going as Rose.”

“I’LL GIVE YOU MORE MOVIE TIME.”

Dave’s retort froze in his mouth as he considered this suggestion. He closed it.

“WE CAN TRY THAT THING THAT YOU KEPT JOKING ABOUT.”

“Dude that was just a fucking joke.”

“I DON’T THINK YOU WERE JOKING.”

“Shut up.”

Karkat kissed him.

“Shut up.”

Karkat kissed him again, much longer this time.

“How the fuck did I let you talk me into this?”

Karkat grinned and resumed the kiss. Goddamn teenage libido.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Setting up for the dance was a breeze. Maybe it was because he’d already done it previously with Terezi. He split himself into several Daves, carting objects to and fro. Per Rose’s persuasion, two Daves were painting the walls black. He didn’t see why she couldn’t just magic everything black, but she said it wouldn’t have the same ‘authentic’ effect. He was pretty certain that was just code for ‘put Dave to more work just because you can’.

The other Daves were busy arranging haunted displays, putting black and orange decorations over everything, dangling tentacles from the ceiling because Rose insisted on it. But they were plush and non-motile, which Karkat had been a lot more comfortable with.

Rose was busy magicking other things into effect, namely plushes of ghouls, ghosts and monsters, which she pinned to the corners of the newly painted walls. One corner even had a mass of dark long hair and a pale arm coming out of it. Dave decided to stay away from that corner for the rest of the day. Or better yet, the rest of forever.

Fake graves, dirt and grass came next. Two Daves worked on getting that area of display together, while a few more Daves hung vines and creepers from the ceiling so they would dangle over the partygoers when they arrived. He carved a few pumpkins, making several ironic Sweet Bro & Hella Jeff scenes, and then a few of your more traditional scare-the-shit-out-of-you faces. They’d be really creepy with the candles.

Rose experimented with the ambience, dimming the lights, shining spotlights on particular areas of the room. With a flick of her wand a soft breeze rolled through the room. And with another flick of her wand there was fog rolling over the ground. She enchanted the doorway to emit a shrill scream whenever someone entered the room and had Dave walk back and forth a few times to make sure it was working properly.

Dave had to admit… it looked fucking great. It was genuinely spooky. He was impressed.

He and Rose looked back to survey their work. They turned, high-fiving one another.

Karkat finally appeared, arriving as promised to give everything a final look-over. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the scream sounded as he entered the room.

Rose bowed. “Welcome to our humble lair of doom.”

“LOOKS PRETTY AWESOME, YOU GUYS.”

“Pleasured.”

“Sweet, now that the leader approves, Rose, help me set up the sound system. You managed to get it working last time.”

“Right-o. Unduly manipulation of the Green Sun’s rays, coming right up.”

xXxXxXxXxXx

Dave fluffed up his wig in the mirror, trying to separate more of the strands from one another. His skin was pale white with dark, grey circles under his eyes and long black lines streaking down his cheeks, making his face look gaunt and skeletal. His hands had been given the same treatment, to turn them far more bony and white, though he doubted the hand makeup would last through the night.

Kanaya had made his evening gown perfectly. A border was right underneath his chest, allowing the rest of his gown to flow down into a loose, gossamer train. After he’d figured out the whole fake-breasts deal, it fit his frame perfectly. Way more perfect than he would’ve thought. Thank you, Kanaya. The dress had a few ghostly touches as well. It was charred and burnt in certain areas, ripped and torn and frayed in the rest. Whole patches of color on the dress were faded, giving the entire thing a true, centuries-old-stuck-in-the-afterlife kinda vibe. He was impressed.

Karkat came up beside him, stealing his mirror time. He attached his suspenders to his trousers and pulled on them to readjust the length. He looked like he came straight out of an old-time movie—which was kind of the point, of course. Even though his made up face was more skeletal and gaunt than Dave’s (they’d contrasted his naturally grey skin with dark black and blues, making him look more like a ghoul from the underworld than a pure white ghost), Dave had to admit that he also looked pretty hot. Was it weird to say that you had an urge to bang your “undead” boyfriend or was that a totally normal thought? He didn’t know anymore.

Dave slid on his shoes and immediately wondered how the hell women walked in them. He’d gotten the smallest heels that Kanaya had in his size and he still felt like he was going to wobble out of them. Maybe it just took practice.

“READY?” Karkat extended an arm. Dave accepted.

xXxXxXxXxXx

They were the first ones there, as usual, since Dave had to crank up the sounds and get the party started. Karkat immediately went to the concession stand and dumped out the random collection of food, treats and drinks he’d had stored in his sylladex. There were even pies tonight. Gamzee had managed to bake up a new batch special for the occasion, which promised to be pretty delicious indeed.

The music was thumping through the room by the time that the others swooped in.

Rose and Kanaya arrived first. Rose had decided to come as, no surprise, a sorceress. With a swirl of her wands, wind and fog were instated into the room. Kanaya had decided to be her fashionable cat familiar and considering that her outfit consisted of a miniskirt with slits from hip down, a midriff halter top, boots and furry paws and a tail, Dave had to say she wasn’t leaving very much to the imagination. It was a distinct change from her usual long skirt and t-shirt. As the girls wandered over to the concession stand, Dave quickly turned away, focusing on his beats.

Gamzee and WV made a rather dramatic entry. About ten minutes after Rose and Kanaya showed up, a loud VROOOOOOOM came from outside the room, becoming louder as it approached. Finally the two crashed into the room in a tiny vehicle, more like a go-kart than a car, and skidded to a stop in the middle of the dance floor.

A loud celebratory WOOOOOOOO came from the car as the door on the other side flung open, tossing WV out. He rolled and clambered to his feet, wobbly and shell-shocked. He was dressed in a shirt and khaki overalls with thick boots, goggles and a helmet on. WV peeled off his helmet as Gamzee emerged from the other side in an identical outfit, a huge grin on his face.

“You said you would drive _safely_.”

“SaFeTy iS FoR ThE WeAk, BrO. iT’S GoTtA Be bRoKeN In fIrSt aNd tHe oNlY WaY To dO ThAt iS To gO A LiTtLe wIlD AnD CrAzY.”

“Well you’ve certainly gotten the crazy part down.”

“Is this the magnificent car?” Dave asked, putting down his headphones to jump out of the booth. He forgot he was wearing heels, so the landing was a little weird, but he recovered and trotted over to them pretty quickly.

“CoMpLeTeD AnD In tIpToP CoNdItIoN.”

“The paint job was my idea.”

The car had celestial patterns on it, galaxies of stars, huge suns, entire planetary systems with moons orbiting around them in various positions. It was drawn in such a fashion that one could also be sucked into it, believing they were actually in the space, if they didn’t have a firm grip on the ground below them.

“This is awesome.”

Karkat came trotting over with Rose and Kanaya following.

“SO MY BATTERY WORKS THEN?”

“LiKe a cHaRm, PaLeBrO.”

“Too Bad Its Too Small For All Of Us Or Else You Could Take Us For A Ride.”

“They would’ve had to make like a limo or something, Kanaya,” Dave told her.

“Well Then A Limo Would Be Good. Perhaps You Could Work On It For Next Time.”

Dave looked over to exchange looks with Rose, but she was too busy sipping on her punch with a soft grin on her face. Was that alcoholic? Where the hell did she even get the booze from? And where could Dave get some?

Kanaya slid into the car on the driver’s side, checking out the specs. Dave decided to slide into the passenger side, figuring that the music booth could man itself for a second. Inside was pretty stellar. The base was just a metal box with seats, but it had been tricked out with all kinds of gadgets and buttons and knobs, a net lining the roof (Dave didn’t really know what it was for but it looked cool) and full on harnesses instead of seatbelts.

Dave stuck his head out the window. “Are you guys planning to race this or something?”

“IF WE MAKE ANOTHER ONE WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO RACE WITH IT?”

“I don’t know if I would condone a race within the meteor,” Rose started, but Kanaya poked her head out of the window and butted in.

“It Would Be Fun!”

“SEE, SHE AGREES IT WOULD BE FUN.”

“It is a terrible idea. Aren’t you usually one of the main people railing against terrible ideas?”

“BUT IT’S…”

“Fun, Rose. It’s fun. We should totally do it.” Dave turned to Karkat. “I’ll help you next time. Just tell me what I need to do and it’ll be done.”

“YES. PERFECT. EXCELLENT.”

“Bring a car into the room and suddenly everyone wants to race for Nascar.” Rose rolled her eyes, walking away with her drink.

Kanaya got out of the car, giggling and catching up to her. “Dont Be So Angry Rose. Lets Dance.”

Rose placed her drink down before joining Kanaya on the floor for something similar to a quickstep.

“HEY. COME ON, DANCE WITH ME TOO.”

Karkat’s hand was outstretched. He wiggled his fingers. Dave followed his lead, gingerly placing his palm on the other guy’s. “Oh Jack, what a charmer you are.”

Karkat rolled his eyes, pulling him out of the car seat. He dragged him onto the dance floor where they proceeded to have their first dance of the night. The song was too fast to really do anything slow, so he found himself dancing to a similar pace that Rose and Kanaya were. One benefit to Kanaya’s skirt was that she was definitely able to dance in it. In contrast, Dave had to lift his dress up to his knees to even move well enough without falling flat onto his ass.

Gamzee butted in soon afterwards and then he and Karkat were dancing and WV and Dave had somehow found themselves in one another’s arms. It would’ve been a little awkward if the guy weren’t so small that Dave could practically spin him across the room and yank him back with little effort at all. He lifted him up into the air and WV let out a small squeak before returning to the ground. Then, a little wobbly again, the carapace ran off to get a drink of punch.

Rose and Dave danced with one another next, graceful in their long gowns and heels.

“You look beautiful tonight,” Rose smiled at him.

“Thank you. So do you. Glamorous. Gorgeous.”

“Did you do something different with your hair?”

“Well, you know, a little mayonnaise and holy water and poof, wonderful hair day.”

“I should try it sometime,” Rose giggled, wrapping her hands around his neck to continue their slow dance.

“Yo, Rose,” Dave hissed.

“Hmm?”

“Where’d you get the booze?”

“Oh you know, a little alchemy and magic and a lot of prayer.”

“You should hook me up some time.”

“I’ll show you how to make it. It’s actually not that complicated but it requires a few interesting materials.”

“I’m sure it’s no weirder than what we’ve alchemized from the kitchens.”

“True.”

They broke apart when Kanaya returned from the bathroom and then Dave crept back up to his DJ booth to monitor the music again. He’d just started mixing songs, driving the party back onto a livelier track, when a scream from the doorway belted through the room.

The partygoers lifted their heads and the arrival Dave had been hoping for all night finally appeared.

Terezi was wearing normal clothes, sneakers, jeans and a t-shirt. Her walking cane was in her hand and her red glasses were perched on her face. She walked in and paused, face turning in every direction.

The music was still playing, but the party had quieted down as everyone stared at her silently, shock giving way to confusion, distaste and anger.

Dave was the first to speak, leaping out of his DJ booth once more to land on the dance floor. “Terezi!”

She turned towards his voice as he approached. He paused slightly, looking her over. She looked well, for a person who’d been hiding out for a month’s time. She was a bit thinner and her face was a little more sallow, but other than that she looked alright.

“4M 1 1NV1T3D 1N?”

Dave was silent as he sorted through the list of emotions that seemed to run through him at seeing her face. Anger. Hurt. Happiness. Relief. But one of them seemed to come to the forefront, taking over.

Dave wrapped his moirail in a hug. “Course you’re invited. Why wouldn’t you be?”

Karkat approached next, stepping forward towards them. “TEREZI.”

She pulled herself away from Dave’s hug, turning towards Karkat’s voice. He was staring at her with a tight-mouthed expression, uncertainty on his face.

“H1.”

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT? YOU WERE GONE FOR A MONTH. WE WERE WORRIED. I THOUGHT YOU’D BEEN SWALLOWED BY AN AIR VENT OR CHOKED ON TOO MANY MOTHBALLS OR SOMETHING AND WERE JUST WASTING AWAY IN SOME CORNER OF SPACE WHERE WE’D NEVER FIND YOU AGAIN. YOU CAN’T DISAPPEAR ON US LIKE THAT, DUMMY.”

Terezi’s lips curled into a smile as she looked down at her feet. “SORRY.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You needed the space, right?” Dave asked, looking down on Terezi.

“1M SORRY, D4V3. 4ND 3V3RYON3. 1 W4S STUP1D.”

“REVELATION OF THE NIGHT.”

Dave turned back to Terezi. “Yo, Tz… I talked to Vriska.”

Her head popped up. “WH3N?”

“Pretty recently. She said, if you’re feeling shit about anything, you don’t need to. Not about killing her. Not about anything else you might’ve been feeling guilty about. Doing bad things and making bad decisions doesn’t make you a bad person. And with Vriska in particular, that was a situation you couldn’t avoid, you know? You had to do it.”

Terezi looked back down.

“Vriska also said… she was proud of you for finally going badass. But she only wanted you to do it for you, understand? She said there’s no point in doing it if you’re just gonna hate yourself because of your actions. Self-punishment isn’t what you need.”

He paused, tapping his fingers on his leg, before adding one more thing. “And as for me, look, Tz… I’m definitely not proud of you. I only mildly get why you did what you did now. But I think if you’re really sorry and if you never do anything of that sort again, I could probably forgive you. We’re still rails, alright? Moirails forever or whatever that mushy shit is. You know what I mean.”

Terezi looked back up at him, but her eyes were now watering with tears. She choked out a smile and red tears started to spill down her face. “1M SORRY. 1 JUST W4NT3D TO F1X TH1NGS 4ND M4K3 TH1NGS R1GHT 4G41N. 1 GOT LOST 1N 1T. 3V3RYTH1NG W4S UPS1D3 DOWN, D4V3. NOTH1NG WORK3D. NOTH1NG M4D3 4NY S3NS3 4NYMOR3.”

“I know. I know.” Dave gathered Terezi into his arms. She pressed her face into his fake bosom. He could feel the wetness of her tears seeping through. “But now’s your chance to restart, alright? You can make it right.”

“I DON’T GET IT. WHY DID YOU THINK YOU HAD TO DO IT?”

“YOU N33D TO COMPL3T3LY D3STROY SOM3TH1NG 1N ORD3R TO R3ST4RT 4G41N. 1N TH1S C4S3, YOU N33D 4 V1LL41N, 4 TRU3 V1LL41N, FOR R34L ORD3R TO B3 R3STOR3D. SO 1 B3C4M3 TH3 V1LL41N. ONC3 TH4T V1LL41N W4S D3STROY3D 3V3RYTH1NG WOULD B3COM3 R1GHT 4G41N. OR 4T L34ST 1T W4S SUPPOS3D TO.”

“Life doesn’t actually work that way,” Rose said, appearing from around Dave’s shoulder. “There are no simple solutions for things. Or else people would try to take a loophole out whenever they could.”

She walked forward, approaching Terezi from the other side. Terezi righted herself, clearing her tears, then putting her glasses back on her face. She turned towards Rose.

“I said that I would be the one to punish you but… as it is, tonight is a party and a time for celebration. And since Karkat is leader now, I think that he should be the one who gets the final say in your punishment. So, we’ll hold a judgment session tomorrow, if that’s okay with you—”

Karkat nodded.

“—and for tonight, enjoy the party. Welcome back.” Rose raised a toast to Terezi, before slipping away to join Kanaya, who looked at Terezi rather cautiously before turning away.

Gamzee approached to slap Terezi on the back. He squeezed her into a one-armed hug. Dave guessed that he knew how it felt to be the bad guy, hated and distrusted on the meteor. He was happy the guy didn’t seem to hold any real grudges towards her. Gamzee in a rage could be a fearsome opponent. As Gamzee stepped away WV came forward and squeezed Terezi into a real hug.

“Do you have any more green?”

“1 M1GHT B3 4BL3 TO HUNT SOM3 OUT.”

WV grinned, nodding. “Excellent. Excellent. We’re going to need a lot.”

He backed away with Gamzee as they returned to the dance floor and finally it was just Dave, Karkat and Terezi standing around in a circle.

Karkat nodded at Terezi. “SO WE’LL FIGURE THINGS OUT TOMORROW. DON’T DISAPPEAR ON US AGAIN, ALRIGHT?”

Terezi shook her head. “1 WONT.” She looked between Dave and Karkat. “TH4NK YOU.”

Karkat cleared his throat. Dave suspected it was some sort of sign of embarrassment. He hadn’t been as hard on Terezi as he’d led Dave to think he’d be.

Dave felt some of the emotions that had been churning in his chest clear with the re-arrival of Terezi. It certainly wasn’t like things were perfect. And it’s not like Terezi would get off easy for her deeds, but Dave suspected that she was at least going to be given a chance to restart after everything, which was all he’d really been hoping for, really. He stowed the anger in the back of his mind. It’d be time for more confrontations and discussions later. For now, it was time for the party to recommence.

Dave raised his eyebrows at Karkat over Terezi’s head. Karkat gave a tiny nod.

Dave outstretched his hand to Terezi. “May I have this dance?”

“DO YOU R34LLY W4NT ON3?”

“Since when have I not wanted to dance with you? Come on man, partners in mischief forever.”

She gave a small smile and extended her own hand. Dave turned and lead the way back out to the dance floor.


End file.
